Moving back now to UK from Aus - are we mad?

[Beautifulthief]

Hi Mums,

I would really appreciate your help to get some perspective on our decision to move back home to time UK after being overseas for 17 years. We left NZ last year, when we lost our jobs to C and returned back to Australia where my husband is from. I pushed to return to his home town, which is lovely and on the beach, but hubbie was very much against due to nightmare wife and husband of his parents who are divorced. We have struggled with drama after drama with his family ( 'I told you so' comes to mind ) and it has been harder than we anticipated to get his new business off the ground. Our daughter who is 7 is struggling to make friends - people here tend to have been hete their whole lives, so we are a bit of an anomaly. It has left us seriously wondering, maybe it is just time to come back to the UK. I miss my family dearly and if there is one thing Covid has taught us is how fragile life is. My Dad turns 80 next year and I feel this pull to be back around my family during my parents' twilight hears. My husband is all for it...

My main concern is whether the UK is still a good place to be after all the battering from Covid and lockdown. Some Aussie friends in London said everyone is very down and tired ( unsurprisingly). But I appreciate that is a micro view. Is there a sense of now getting back to some normality though? We are a little bit sheltered here from it all... We are hoping to move close to Bath. I only see the UK, my old home, 'hurting' from reading the papers. Is it still a good place to be?

Thank you SO much Mums. Any thoughts would be much appreciated.

It seems somewhat crazy to even be thinking about leaving a fairly Covid free existence to a country that has been ravaged by its effects. It is hard to watch from afar

We haven't been ravaged by anything. We've faced the pandemic, lockdowns and restrictions with our customary resilience and good humour. I know some sneery buggers will mock that but it's true.

And now those restrictions are being lifted we are embracing all the things we enjoyed before. And if there's another lockdown then we'll bloody well cope.

Ignore the whingers and come home to your dad, OP!

On a recent visit it was buzzy and full of life

Lovely description not just of London but so much of England just now.

People's gardens are blooming, they're enjoying the pub and restaurants again, hanging out with friends and family ...

I've moved back to the Uk twice, once from Oz and once from another European country. Family was the big pull and I think I am settled here now. While I do think people are unnecessarily negative about the UK in general (everywhere has pros and cons, it's about what matters to you the most), don't underestimate how hard it is to 'move home'. Life has moved on without you, it's almost like starting over again, albeit somewhere that is very familiar. Be prepared for waves of longing to go back and frustration!

I'd still say do it if you want to- you can't fill in the years with ageing family later- but have your eyes open!

I'm from the northwest, the hardest hit area and people are cheerful around me. Most things are open and except for wearing masks, which is a pain but I don't think we're the only country doing that!, life just seems normal. We're not even being counted in and out of M&S foodhall!! The strictest place of the lot. We've been away on day trips and have holidays booked in UK. I really don't see these angry, rioting masses.

The only angry people I see are those on mumsnet, who hate, Johnson, the Tories, and Brexit...and so the UK. Or maybe just England - all other countries get a pass. Politicians are just part of life. But people round about are loving the nice weather and getting on with their lives and I don't see any difference to general life to pre Brexit.

But I love Australia, although only been on holidays, and wouldn't like to advise what you should do. But no decision needs to be forever.

@unwuthering I have should have been careful in my phrasing. I meant affect from lockdown.

Usually I'm the first to recommend Australia over the UK. But I think your pull to be with your 80 year father is understandable.

London has been very badly hit by Covid - both in terma of deaths (20,000), and in other ways.

Bath however should be fine.

I absolutely would move back. We have family in Oz so have been back and forth a fair bit and the pluses for us of the UK are worth it. Have you made your own pros/cons list? Do you both want to live here long term.

7 is an ideal age to move. I think if you are going to move do it now as secondary is much harder.

I'm not pro brexit or Boris but have far more optimis recently. So many people are double jabbed now and kids are doing great in school and their activities.

One thing that tops it for us is the variety of outdoor environments and ease of travel. We are camping soon 45mins away - different county by the sea. Last weekend we visited a cathedral city an hour away. We can be within several different country parks /forest/coast paths all within an hour. Family in melbourne need to drive that just to get out of Melbourne (or fly). This is really important to us.

My mum moved back to the UK after living in Australia for 25 years+ to care for her elderly mother. My brother was about to enter secondary and I was nearly 20. We’re all still very happily settled in the UK. This was long before COVID-19 though.

I'm Australian and moved home nearly 3 years ago from the UK.

I'm so glad to be back in Australia, near my family and for that reason I'd say if your DH is onboard, then move home to be near your family.

Why the delay of 9 months though?

In the long run, Oz and the UK will be in the same kind of situation re COVID (ie. eventually it will be a tiresome endemic infection that does not cause mayhem because most people are vaccinated and complications are unusual). I would base your decisions on your own particular situation (career type, educational stuff, where your friends are, how easy it would be to settle, your general preferences in life) rather than on ideas about which country is handling COVID better.

and we are yet to feel the true impact of Brexit.

@RoseRedRoseBlue Brexit happened a while ago. If we haven’t felt the true impact by now, then when do you think we will?

Kokeshi speaks sense. Covid is short term and hard to know which country will be easier to live in short term. UK has got a large number vaccinated and wont need to lock down for a handful of cases for example. I also get the impression news from abroad is sensationalised (so Aus gets "how awful it is in England" news. Just like living outside of London you can imagine from the news its full of drunks ansstabbings etc when it realky isnt.)

Definitely look long term.

My village in North London is absolutely buzzing right now. I'm opening a coffee shop and there is a row on the parade of new businesses all excited to be part of the economy improving. People who only see misery must feel that way themselves, which is a shame but I prefer optimism myself. It doesn't sound like you're enjoying it over there so a no brainier for me

We moved back to the UK at the end of 2019 from South Africa.

I am so glad we did, DF died last August and we got to spend time with him and support DM. DD and DM/DB are building a day-to-day relationship instead of a long distance one. I found work straight away. DDs SEN has been recognized, assessed and supported.

So many positives. We had been thinking of returning for about 3 or 4 years, gradually feeling more and more certain it was right, but of course it is always a bit of a leap of faith.

And I have found a great community of dog walkers in our local park, and the daily 'hellos' and brief chats (at 2m of course!) have been a life saver through lockdown - definitely not gloom and doom here in SW London.

The DC and I moved back last summer, DH is still working out in a red list country which has made things a lot harder…….

Despite everything though I’m so glad we did - my father has aged considerably over the last few years and I truly appreciate the times we’re having with him. He’s a bit of a grumpy old so and so but adores his DGC and it’s been heart warming to see them spend so much time together and invaluable for them both. I can support my mum more and also my sister who sadly lost her DH just before the pandemic started. I hadn’t realised the worry I’d had on my shoulders about it all while we were living away.

It is hard and I have had numerous days where I’ve just wanted to jump on a plane back to the life we knew! We’ve moved back to near my sister which is a totally new area for us so making friends and a life has been challenging to say the least but we’re getting there.

I’m also glad my DC are experiencing U.K. life and school. They were toddlers when we left so not many memories.

And I always try to remember nothing is forever - if it doesn’t work out we’ll move again

Brexit happened a while ago. If we haven’t felt the true impact by now, then when do you think we will?

The transition period only ended 31st December 2020.

Good grief - do not come back yet.

It is bloody awful. There will be some kind of lockdown again this autumn/winter. Lockdowns here are not just a couple of weeks. They are months and months.

We have the highest case rate in Europe but the government is bowing to the populist vote and scrapping all restrictions in a couple of weeks. It will be chaos.

@lllllllllll

and we are yet to feel the true impact of Brexit.

@RoseRedRoseBlue Brexit happened a while ago. If we haven’t felt the true impact by now, then when do you think we will?

The true effect has been considerably muted by C19 as we are yet to return to ‘normal’ life

In my DC year (yr3) we have had a few children join, they are always made to feel very welcome, no friendship issues. I wouldn’t be worried about your DD joining a nice school at 7 or 8.

Is Bath where your parents are?

I think it’s important to note that yes, much of the UK is ‘buzzy’ at the moment but there’s several reasons for this and it’s possible some of them may be short term-

We had a very long winter lockdown, since mid May restrictions have been easier to allow more mixing but we are already seeing the effects of this despite the vaccination efforts, is the situation maintainable?

It’s summertime here so people naturally feel happier which a good thing, winter is long remember that!

Travel out of the UK is tricky and unpredictable so many are opting to holiday here which is giving a boost to the economy

The WFH mandate has seen a big switch towards small local independent businesses, particularly those in towns and villages near to large cities, if WFH is lifted there will be some reversal of this good fortune

Brexit is indeed impacting our lives however with Covid being the focus of our attention it’s easy to ignore and indeed confuse some the effects of Brexit due to the pandemic

Your reasons for moving back are family motivated and that is absolutely understandable. I would just wait a few more months before making any decisions because truth be told be don’t know what the outlook will be in terms of Covid and you have DC to consider, her transition will be very different to yours.

Just to buck the trend: I made the decision to move back to my home country ( not the UK) to be with my sick dad and support my mom; and it was the single worst decision I ever made in my life. I still regret it 15 years later. Not to say that family isn't important. But sometimes when the heart rules the head, you can make the wrong decision.

I understand wanting to be near your family. Buuuut, I’d 100% love to move to Oz, both DH and I are too old now and wouldn’t get in on the skills visa (well, he possibly would but he’s now retired) but I’d love to go. The UK is cold and expensive. The winter lockdown was horrendous.

It’s all pretty positive in London from what I can see. Main issue is the crap weather right now, rain, rain and more rain!
But things are looking up and life is returning to London. People will be ditching their masks imo come July 19th. We’re at pretty good levels of immunity, vaccine or naturally. I personally think the U.K. and Europe is in a good place now and actually a better place than Australia and News Zealand who seem to me to be still reacting to Covid like it’s 2020.

@Beautifulthief

Couldn't agree more. I think there is a myth that Australia has perhaps got off lightly. Our suppression strategy is working however the cost to businesses, families and livelihoods has been very hard. I owned a tour travel company that I have just had to close. In Melbourne here we have had very lengthy hard lockdowns since March last year when we can only leave the house one hour a day. It is all very heavily policed. We are down the coast a little where there is absolutely no Covid ( atm ) and we still have had to wear masks everywhere - inside and out. People even where them in their cars when driving. I even saw a guy surfing with a mask on. Fear is rife here in Aus.

So we aren't unfamiliar with Covid restrictions in relation to our everyday so to an extent, it won't come as a shock when we move to the UK. Hopefully.

It’s so different depending which state you’re in.

I’m in South Australia which has barely had to lock down. I’ve never had to wear a mask apart from medical appointments and while travelling. Still hate the constant threat of lockdowns, lack of end plan for the pandemic and inability to travel interstate without anxiety over border closures. It’s still far from normal here.