Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Protection built in.

Meet the Other Phone.
Protection built in.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
Covid

Mumsnet doesn't verify the qualifications of users. If you have medical concerns, please consult a healthcare professional.

Original poster

Babies & relatives that won’t get vaccinated

104 replies

Onthegrapevine · 15/06/2021 21:09

DP and I have a 1 year old, both of us are fully vaccinated.

Each of us have adult siblings refusing the vaccine. Some more stubborn than others. We don’t talk about it with them, but it is really worrying me.

Since my 1 year old can’t have a vaccine, I feel it’s on the adults to keep him safe. I want to ban visits but that seems unreasonable and it would mean family members who cohabit with those refusing the vaccine also missing out on quality time.

Just looking to hear from others in similar situations.

OP posts:
Mulhollandmagoo · 15/06/2021 23:06

@Onthegrapevine

It’s interesting that people feel so strongly about this.

When I was pregnant, the midwives recommended that anyone that would be coming into contact with baby should get a flu jab. Why is that acceptable and this is not?

I've never heard of this either, out of interest did you check if everyone who came into contact with your baby had a flu jab?
Twinmammaplusone · 15/06/2021 23:07

Hi @Onthegrapevine I’m going to agree with you on this. I feel very strongly that those that can have the vaccine should, to protect those that can’t (medically can’t or too young etc). Me eldest daughter died from a respiratory virus (not covid). It was extremely unlikely but still happened so I’m not interested in spending time with people who purposely haven’t had the vaccine and putting my 1 year olds at risk.
Having said that, we can’t keep them away from people forever and they do need to see other children/ people...

Temp023 · 15/06/2021 23:10

There are people who cannot have the vaccine for medical reasons, there are those who have not been offered it because they are too young. Responsible people have the vaccine to protect themselves but also protect these groups. There is no good reason not to have the vaccine if you are offered it.

PutBabyInTheCorner · 15/06/2021 23:15

I get your point but unfortunately on MN so many people seem to be anti vaccine. I don't think your baby will come to any harm but your family members are being selfish. It's their right to be selfish of course but some people really need to get over themselves.

RocheLobe · 15/06/2021 23:31

Oh stop it. I have had the vaccine but still don’t think it’s necessary to go around calling those who have chosen not to, for whatever reason, selfish. “Selfish” as an accusation has been far too overused over the last year.

OnTheBrink1 · 15/06/2021 23:33

@Temp023

There are people who cannot have the vaccine for medical reasons, there are those who have not been offered it because they are too young. Responsible people have the vaccine to protect themselves but also protect these groups. There is no good reason not to have the vaccine if you are offered it.
There are plenty. You just need to look a bit further.
yikesanotherbooboo · 15/06/2021 23:36

I struggle to empathise with those not having the vaccine and everyone in our fairly code family has now had at leat one vaccine.
Having said that, your baby needs their family and is very unlikely to come to serious harm from Covid so I would not prevent mixing.

Bloodyfuckit · 15/06/2021 23:39

@NBFJ364N

what does his dad think?
why? do we now need men to validate things?
Ianar · 15/06/2021 23:53

I'm incredulous that you are more open to a one year old having a new vaccine, than unvaccinated persons being around them.

winched · 16/06/2021 00:10

When I was pregnant, the midwives recommended that anyone that would be coming into contact with baby should get a flu jab. Why is that acceptable and this is not?

The flu is horrendous. I often think a lot people who refer to flu have actually just had really bad colds. I've had flu once and my life and prayed for death.

Covid was a doddle compared to that, but it's the same for most 30 year olds I imagine. The two youngest in my fam didn't catch it and the two oldest had no symptoms at all.

I think you are being seriously OTT about this. The only people in my family who are vaccinated (or intending to be) are those 50+. My SIL wouldn't see anyone if she took this stance.

FromEden · 16/06/2021 00:37

Sorry but going by the posts on here, the UK has lost its fucking mind. I hope you look back on these posts and cringe at how ridiculous and OTT they were. Or yeah OP, force your family to get vaccinated or cut contact altogether. That's a normal thing to do Hmm

strangeshapedpotato · 16/06/2021 01:35

@Onthegrapevine

Like I said, we don’t discuss it with them! It’s not a topic of conversation and I’d never guilt trip them into it. These are just my personal feelings, I can’t be alone in this either...
You have only two choices. 1) Confrontational - tell them you're not happy and they can't visit unless they're jabbed. 2) Do nothing and accept they're putting your child at (slight) risk.

It's important to note though that the risk to a 1 yr old from covid is less than it would be from influenza. Very young children are the ONLY group that this statement applies to before anyone accuses me of comparing covid with flu - I'm not lol! And given that I'm sure you don't insist that all visitors have flu jabs.......

strangeshapedpotato · 16/06/2021 01:37

@FromEden

Sorry but going by the posts on here, the UK has lost its fucking mind. I hope you look back on these posts and cringe at how ridiculous and OTT they were. Or yeah OP, force your family to get vaccinated or cut contact altogether. That's a normal thing to do Hmm
If instead of a baby, we were talking about someone elderly, or CEV, then I would think rather badly of anyone who DIDN'T take this approach with their extended family.

A person's stupidity should never be allowed to risk another person's life.

FromEden · 16/06/2021 04:12

What about in prior years when things like flu, norovirus and even a cold could kill elderly elderly and CEV people? Did you also think badly of people being normal humans and seeing their loved ones then too?

musthavebeenlove · 16/06/2021 04:20

I think you have to ask yourself how long these vaccinations will keep working.
There’s already talk that getting booster shots every year is necessary.

Also lots of adults who had vaccinations as a child for let’s say, measles or rubella, no longer have sufficient anti bodies in their body, I bet you wouldn’t ask people who want to visit a small unvaccinated baby for proof of their booster shots for these diseases.

awaketoosoon · 16/06/2021 04:36

You seem very anxious. Do you & DP have health issues since I presume you are fairly young to be double vaccinated? I personally think you're approach is OTT but it's your choice.

110APiccadilly · 16/06/2021 04:41

I have a six month old. I'm much, much more concerned about the effect not encountering enough people's germs may have on her immune system (we're in Wales and still can't see people indoors) than about her getting Covid.

helpmebeanadult · 16/06/2021 05:09

As a compromise could you ask them to do a test before visiting? Meet outside etc? I understand your concern as it's a bit of a lottery between which young children can get really ill and which ones won't. I also think that there are a lot of very young children who haven't been exposed to covid with lockdowns, rules on going shopping with kids, initially rule of going out with one other person that includes baby etc to fully understand impact of covid on babies. It is a balance though - there are positives and negatives from trying to protect children from covid and you need to do what is right for your family, just as your relatives are doing what is right for them. If you choose not to get vaccinated, as is a person's choice, I think you have to accept that there will be people who may be less willing to mix with you as is their choice. Likewise, if you choose to be more cautious, there will be people not willing to mix with you either.

FWIW, if I knew someone was antivax generally with other illnesses, I would not want their kids at my house until mine were old enough to be vaccinated. No one knows the long term impacts of covid, just as no one knows the long term impacts of the vaccine though. My personal experience is that those that are anti covid vaccine tend to have engaged in more risky behaviours throughout the pandemic through choice, but that is obviously just my experience.

If you know where they stand and they know where you stand, maybe there's a middle ground you both feel happier with that will allow you to see each other - for example, outside?

FudgeSundae · 16/06/2021 06:38

[quote Onthegrapevine]@someusernameorother Not many I’m sure, but it’s not just about death! It’s triggering issues in otherwise healthy kids. Apparently![/quote]
According to who? Everything I’ve seen shows that young kids are very very unlikely to be affected by it at all.
Also yes YABU. What about people under 40 who haven’t had a chance to have both jabs yet? I got the first appointment I could for my age group, which was yesterday, but I won’t be double vaccinated til mid September.

Sargass0 · 16/06/2021 11:39

What about all the people outside your family who haven't been vaccinated ( play groups etc-) you wont know whether you they have been or not)
Sounds like you're using it as a way to make a point with your family. Just don't let them visit. Either they wont are or if they do - enjoy the shit show

SmidgenofaPigeon · 16/06/2021 11:50

Sorry if I’ve missed this.

Why are you and your DH both already double vaccinated? You must both have an underlying health condition for that as the relevant age group has generally just had the one.

Do you have conditions that have caused you to be extra anxious?

sunnnyoverthehill · 16/06/2021 12:10

I think your being ridiculous OP. This vaccine isn’t a one time protection, boosters will be needed. So are going to keep asking everyone if they’ve had their booster every 6 month to a year?

Yorkshirepudding1987 · 16/06/2021 12:49

@SmidgenofaPigeon

Sorry if I’ve missed this.

Why are you and your DH both already double vaccinated? You must both have an underlying health condition for that as the relevant age group has generally just had the one.

Do you have conditions that have caused you to be extra anxious?

Not necessarily. My OH is 35 and has had 2 Pfizer jabs, 3 weeks apart. Sone areas are way ahead. I have also had both vaccinations but I had mine after being accidentally added to shielding (they insisted I had the vaccine even though I shouldn't have been added)

OP we have a 3 year old and a 8 month old.

The 3 year old goes to nursery, should we ban him from being around the 8 month old seen as how he's unvaccinated and they both lick everything?

Daisiesarebeautiful · 16/06/2021 13:16

I want to ban visits but that seems unreasonable and it would mean family members who cohabit with those refusing the vaccine also missing out on quality time.

I think you're massively over estimating how interesting your kid is to anyone other than you and the dad. Quality time with a 1 year old?? How does that look then?

Endofether · 16/06/2021 13:18

[quote Onthegrapevine]@woodfort sure, but he’ll be older by the time we put him in nursery.

I also know I can’t eliminate the risk completely but it’s about our family mitigating it, which I don’t feel they’re doing. Not to mention one of my siblings refusing the vaccine lives with my elderly father who is high risk (vaccinated, but still)[/quote]
You know coronavirus is not serious in children right ? And it’s good for them tone exposed the bug when young and healthy because then the next generation will have built up immunity to it?