Please help me, in turmoil about everything - vaccine related

[Lotusbiscoffdreams]

Hello, I’m all over the place and no one can seem to help me. I’m not vaccinated yet because I’m terrified of the side effects and of me being one of the unlucky ones that ends up in a bad way from it. I’m on a few medications. I have severe anxiety and depression too, diagnosed. I’m scared I have lots of undiagnosed health conditions that mean the vaccines are dangerous to me, but part of my anxiety is being terrified of doctors and tests etc.

I’m also just as terrified of covid, I think it would affect me badly, that’s if I haven’t already had it, which I think I did early on. I’ve had some long lasting effects since being ill in March 2020. I wear two masks, I avoid going anywhere indoors unless I have to, I have developed ocd behaviours and thoughts about germs too and contamination/poisoning.

I want to have the Moderna vaccine, it seems the safest out of them all, but I can’t find anywhere that’s doing it. I’ve asked the GP receptionists twice now, and recently been told it’s only been given in Wales. Does anyone know if that’s true? I tried to ring the 119 COVID number but it was all automated.

I feel like a black sheep in my family, I’m the only one unvaccinated and was told recently id have to stand outside at a birthday gathering because I’m a risk to others. It’s fine I didn’t want to go in anyway!!!

I HATE living like this

How old are you?

If under 40 you will be offered Pfizer or Moderna.

There isn’t a lot of moderna supply so it’s hard to locate. But is supplied equally across the uk. It’s mainly in pharmacies atm. A local Facebook or call to a CCG may tell you where it is being used.

Thank you very much Lemon, I will look that up as not sure what a CCG is. That’s good to know.

I’m 40.

I have no idea where you are OP but everyone I know who has been vaccinated in Tunstall has been given Moderna,

I’m in England and had moderna.

I’m so sorry you’re struggling! Xx

You need to look up the effect of the corona virus vaccine.

The virus not the vaccine and compare them.

Friend had moderna in high Wycombe

Op you say you’re clinically diagnosed, are you getting treatment for your mental illnesses? I’m sure you understand that your behaviour and feelings are a symptom of that?

Moderna can cause nasty side effects as well. My brother had quite a nasty allergic reaction to it.

I hope you manage to get a vaccine soon, I had Pfizer and was fine.

Thank you so very much for the kind comments. @Fitforforty I’ve read so much about the virus which is why my mind is in such turmoil. I know the hospitalisation rate is high which is why I’m scared, I know about long covid and about the effects this virus has on the blood.

@Bluntness100 I’m on medication for my mental health but don’t have any other help, because quite frankly, nhs talking therapies have never ever helped me, only private and I can’t afford that right now.

Yes I’m certain that it’s my anxiety talking, but then I know these vaccine side effects exist so I’m not imagining that. Other countries have taken note of the adverse effects and taken precautions, they aren’t acting out of anxiety (I presume!)

@HairyFloppins sorry to hear about your brother, I hope he’s ok now.

I’m in Warwickshire btw.

@Cafeaulait27

I’m in England and had moderna.

I’m so sorry you’re struggling! Xx

Thank you 😘

I’m sorry you’re struggling. Would you consider Pfizer or have you ruled that out? If you’re willing to travel then you could create a post to try and find out where it’s being offered as you can select any area on the National booking system. Anxiety is horrible especially when you’re anxious about both covid and the vaccination too I can completely sympathise. I hope you’re able to find a solution you feel comfortable with.

‘It’s’ being Moderna, sorry that wasn’t very clear in my post.

Try the CCG. This will usually be called after your local authority or a wider geography. Google that name plus CCG.

They should have a contact point to email and then you will get help to suit you. Their job is to get you vaccinated. Areas have all sorts of things to help people through the experience. That might include go slow sessions where more time and space is set aside to help people with problems like yours. Or mental health staff who will help you. They don’t want to leave you behind.

Getting the jab is an uplifting thing for most people. It’s like a finally we are fighting back and we are all part of it. Seeing all the effort and goodwill by staff and volunteers makes a lot of people happy in teary way. If you back out or get the wobbles they will help. This is what they do and they want to help you.

OP give your GP a ring and explain your situation, most GPS hold booking lists for the vaccination hubs so they know what vaccine is available on what day they should then be able to book you in for a day when a Modena clinic is running (as pp have said they are quite thin on the ground but you may be lucky).

Pfizer and modena are very similar vaccines.

I too had insane anxiety over this, as I'm 40 and have severe hemiplegic migraines and blood clot/stroke family history, plus have had blood thinners myself, chronic heavy periods, and medication that already has a risk of blood clots.

Unfortunately my GP didn't really help, and being 40 and our government being the only one to not remove AZ for this age group I felt so trapped over this.

Also felt shit for being so entitled to want a particular vaccine.

I booked in and said thought was pregnant, to get the list of centres that would have the Pfizer, and then just went for it. Still didn't know what I would get.

Had a difficult time queuing up, panic attack, trying to control my heart rate and breathing, dizzy and faint, felt like an absolute idiot but everyone was so amazing and kind to me. I did end up with the Pfizer, but if it was AZ I would have refused. That's what was stressing me out.

I am ok so far, headache and sore arm, feel a bit shit, but am so glad I went. I feel so much LESS STRESSED now it's done. Oh my god, the relief OP, your anxiety will be better after and you won't need to have this stress in your life

@Rainbowsandstorms

I’m sorry you’re struggling. Would you consider Pfizer or have you ruled that out? If you’re willing to travel then you could create a post to try and find out where it’s being offered as you can select any area on the National booking system. Anxiety is horrible especially when you’re anxious about both covid and the vaccination too I can completely sympathise. I hope you’re able to find a solution you feel comfortable with.

Thanks so much @Rainbowsandstorms , yes willing to travel within reason, not over 100 miles probably! I feel it’s very important to get vaccinated, that’s why it’s so frustrating to feel so scared about it. I’ve never in my life been scared of vaccines before, either for me or my kids. I suppose covid has probably triggered a lot of these worries in people maybe. Thanks for your caring post, I appreciate it ☺️

@LemonTT

Try the CCG. This will usually be called after your local authority or a wider geography. Google that name plus CCG.

They should have a contact point to email and then you will get help to suit you. Their job is to get you vaccinated. Areas have all sorts of things to help people through the experience. That might include go slow sessions where more time and space is set aside to help people with problems like yours. Or mental health staff who will help you. They don’t want to leave you behind.

Getting the jab is an uplifting thing for most people. It’s like a finally we are fighting back and we are all part of it. Seeing all the effort and goodwill by staff and volunteers makes a lot of people happy in teary way. If you back out or get the wobbles they will help. This is what they do and they want to help you.

This post has really helped me a lot, thank you so much. Your last paragraph really resonates, that’s exactly how I thought I’d feel about getting jabbed, before all the reports of side effects and blood clots came out.

Going to follow your advice in the morning and get in touch with them, thanks again!

Sorry @Rainbowsandstorms I meant to say I did want the Pfizer but then read about the heart issues it’s causing, however I read this evening that moderna can also cause them! I feel like whichever vaccine I have I’m taking a huge risk.

I was also terrified of the vaccine and Covid. In the end I got vaccinated, I’ve had both Pfizer.

@rosie39forever

OP give your GP a ring and explain your situation, most GPS hold booking lists for the vaccination hubs so they know what vaccine is available on what day they should then be able to book you in for a day when a Modena clinic is running (as pp have said they are quite thin on the ground but you may be lucky).

Thank you, going to try again tomorrow and explain in more detail to them, as the receptionist today insisted that it’s only Wales where moderna is available, but it seems from this thread that’s not the case! She said she was absolutely certain.

I should add that when I started looking at the side effects for other vaccines and medicines it became very clear that there are risks with every single modern medicine in existence. A lot of them are similar to those possible with the covid vaccines. Low risk though, and not all eyes on them. It helped put things into perspective for me.

@gluteustothemaximus

Pfizer and modena are very similar vaccines.

I too had insane anxiety over this, as I'm 40 and have severe hemiplegic migraines and blood clot/stroke family history, plus have had blood thinners myself, chronic heavy periods, and medication that already has a risk of blood clots.

Unfortunately my GP didn't really help, and being 40 and our government being the only one to not remove AZ for this age group I felt so trapped over this.

Also felt shit for being so entitled to want a particular vaccine.

I booked in and said thought was pregnant, to get the list of centres that would have the Pfizer, and then just went for it. Still didn't know what I would get.

Had a difficult time queuing up, panic attack, trying to control my heart rate and breathing, dizzy and faint, felt like an absolute idiot but everyone was so amazing and kind to me. I did end up with the Pfizer, but if it was AZ I would have refused. That's what was stressing me out.

I am ok so far, headache and sore arm, feel a bit shit, but am so glad I went. I feel so much LESS STRESSED now it's done. Oh my god, the relief OP, your anxiety will be better after and you won't need to have this stress in your life

Thanks so much for sharing your experience, I relate to you a lot. I also have migraines and a worrying family history, plus medication that increases blood clot risk.

I think you’re amazing for getting it done, I know how hard that would have been. And I’m so pleased you’ve been ok after it as well, that must be such a relief! I want to feel that too, as currently I feel on edge with every shop I go into and am monitoring myself for COVID symptoms. It’s no way to live being constantly scared is it.

@Onthegrapevine

I was also terrified of the vaccine and Covid. In the end I got vaccinated, I’ve had both Pfizer.

Well done for getting it done. How have you been since having it?

Yep you’re right, all medications have risks, I occasionally make the mistake of reading the leaflets for mine but then regret it! I don’t know why that feels different, it’s so weird. I needed a tetanus a couple of years ago and didn’t even blink getting it done, didn’t even ask if any side effects. My anxiety wasn’t as bad though then I guess, covid has made it so much worse.

Ah OP so sorry to hear you’re struggling with this.

No advice to add other than to say my DH is immuno compromised but yet had no reaction to Pfizer. The rest of my family are also all vaccinated now because of his vulnerability and no issues. We had to effectively shield with him and post vaccine we have felt like we have come out from under a black cloud!

At this stage I literally know hundreds of friends family and colleagues who have now had their jabs. One had tired legs for a week, one went to bed with flu symptoms for three days and everyone else (100’s!) just had a bit of a sore arm. Anecdotal I know but I hope it helps anyway. Good luck