Have we made a mistake?

[Whiskyinajar]

We are going to see my in-laws next week who live in Wales.

We haven’t seen them for around 18mths (Dec 2019 was last face to face contact).

Over the last year my MIL has been very ill and tbh in January this year I began to wonder if she’d live long enough for us to see her again

She has now made a great recovery with the right treatment and is desperate to see us and her grandson.

We arranged it this week as DS is still in college so we have to follow school holidays etc.

We are staying with them as they have a house big enough for us all to have a bedroom each etc.

Plan is for me to look at Attendance Allowance etc while I am there as I complete these from time to time at work.

We will also be doing family stuff with both in laws such as lunches out etc.

However, SIL has suddenly said that we shouldn’t be staying with the in laws as they are only allowed one bubble which is SIL as she lives nearby,

Panicking now as I don’t want to do anything we shouldn’t be doing .

If it matters, both DH and I are fully vaccinated as are my in laws. I’m aware the risk of contracting the virus is lower but not definite and we know a friend has just tested positive despite having had both vaccines.

Can they form a bubble with us for a few days ...or is it one bubble for the whole of the lockdown/easing lockdown?

Tell her she doesn’t know what she’s on about.

Are there still bubbles? I thought all that had finished tbf I've not kept up with what the rules actually are since around Christmas time so I have no idea but I thought that household mixing was allowed now.

You've all been fully vaccinated. You've got to start living at some point, fgs. If your MIL is comfortable with the level of risk, go and enjoy your time together.

Your not forming a bubble, are you? Just staying (briefly) with family? 2 households (and if SIL is part of a bubble, they count as you PiL's household) or 6 people max inside.

Are support bubbles even a thing anymore now restrictions on seeing people have eased?

Bubbles aren't a thing anymore and now is a good time to see them whilst cases and deaths are low. Tell her to do one.

Goodness the poor woman almost died, let her see her son and grandchildren. Life is too short. Bubbling doesn't exist anymore. 6 people or 2 households indoors.

*can be different 6 people or different households at different times.

The guidance / rules are different in Wales and your SIL is right about the "bubbles" / extended households, but if your PIL want you to stay and you're all aware of the tiny tiny risks then just do it.

The rules aren’t the same in Wales as they are in England. A quick Google will tell you that what you’re doing is not allowed on this side of the border.

Everyone commenting, have you actually looked at the current restrictions?

gov.wales/gathering-other-people-alert-level-2#section-70554

In Wales we are only allowed to have an extended household with one other household currently. Or 6 people outside or in pubs etc. You can change the household members so when you are there your SIL won't be able to be there too unless she is a single person household, as single people are allowed to form a support household and then join the extended household. In your situation I would be going to visit your in laws.

The rules in wales may be different to the 6 people in a household or 2 household rule we have here.

Haha! Posted too slowly!

In your circumstances I’d go regardless of the guidance.

If you don’t feel comfortable, check the ability to break one bubble and start a new one. I think you need a break of 2 weeks between.

Given the state of her health and you filling out forms, it's perfectly acceptable support for a vulnerable person.

Seriously, the risk is no higher in Wales than it is in England, and with that amount of time between visits, vaccination, low community rates and the state of MiL's health I'd carry on.

Worst case scenario, if something serious happened to MiL, SiL is not going to be kicking herself for life that she didn't see her mum for over a year and it's not her choice to make.

Thanks all and thank you @4PawsGood for the link, I will take a look. We will still go but just want to minimise risks.

My mother died 2 months ago (she was old, but we'd expected her to enjoy another couple of years).

I urge you to visit; I really regret not seeing DM this year after she had her first jab. Equally (only just) I can understand the attitude of somebody who might have sacrificed a lot to keep the DM safe.

Could you Airbnb somewhere?

Your SIL is talking nonsense. You can see and stay overnight with different ppl.
Support bubbles are no longer necessary.

@SmidgenofaPigeon - she does know what she's talking about. Wales has different rules.

Bubbles aren't a thing anymore, and she is a vulnerable person who needs your support. So just go.

My mother is also a vulnerable person in a similar way and I have been coming and going between my house and hers for months now.

Your SIL is talking bollocks.

Bubbles are a thing in Wales so SIL is right. However, under the circumstances I can understand why you would want to see them (and ?there are compassionate grounds).

In answer to your question: yes bubbles can be changed (though it's not recommended). In the given circumstance if SIL and PIL end their bubble (ie socially distance and not go in each others' houses) then in 10 days time, you could form a new bubble with PIL. If that sounds ridiculously complicated, that's because it is!

The guidance is all there on the Welsh government website and I would encourage anyone coming to Wales to check it out. I am assuming SIL is not a single adult household, otherwise she could also be included.

Tell SIL she is being rude and to keep her nose out of your business.

From the link given by 4PawsGood -

"We recommend people avoid changing extended households unless absolutely necessary, in order to limit the spread of coronavirus between households.

However, we recognise that people’s relationships and circumstances may change over time. If necessary, those eligible can form a new extended household provided that:

both households end their current extended household.
both households refrain from mixing with any other household (including your new extended household) for a period of 10 days before forming the new extended household."

So your SIL could stop going into their house for 10 days before and 10 days after your visit, but could still meet up with them outside, to be within the law.

As long as she doesn't provide care for them, this would be a reasonable way to let your MIL see both of her children legally.