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Original poster

Made the decision not to have the vaccine yet, worried I’ll be treated like a leper

187 replies

Daffodilsinthewindow · 26/05/2021 12:40

I have debilitating health anxiety and it’s ruined many years of my life. I’ve currently got it control and haven’t had a ‘relapse’ for a while. I’m absolutely terrified of the vaccine. I’m 31, so my age group has just been called up. All my friends and family keep asking me if I’ve booked it. I just keep saying “I will do”.

My health anxiety has meant several trips to A&E when I was on the contraceptive pill a few years ago, over fears of a blood clot, so that in turn has meant I haven’t been on it since.

I’m making an informed decision, taking my mental health into account...just like somebody would do if they had a physical health issue.

I’m not saying I’ll never have the vaccine, but I do want to wait a while as I feel it’s too soon for me personally. I’m not an anti vaxxer, I don’t believe in conspiracy theories about Bill Gates or microchips or anything like that. This is just a personal decision I have made about my body.
Pre covid, me making decisions about my body and mind to benefit me and not cause my mental health to spiral out of control, would be supported. Now I know I will get judged, talked at, made to feel small and as though I’m doing the wrong thing, not helping society etc etc.

Just wondering if anyone else is in a similar position?

OP posts:
GirlCrush · 26/05/2021 14:03

thats fine, its your individual choice

i'd hope you would stay away from public places though?

MintyMabel · 26/05/2021 14:04

Are you absolutely sure that your anxiety is well placed, and you can't see the logic in getting the vaccine?

This. I’m well aware of health anxiety as I live with it myself. The only thing that helps me is talking to actual health professionals and listening to the risks they outline. I have to stay away from Doctor Google and rarely read anything reported about health risks as they inevitably are, at best, misreported. This latest story is a good example of that.

Speak to someone who really knows what they are talking about rather than the armchair experts who think they have spent lockdown becoming experts in all thugs Covid.

As for feeling like a leper, just like any other health related issue, your choice is a private one. Just tell people you aren’t comfortable talking about your private health issues. If they insist, try asking them something personal, like, what is their contraceptive of choice. If they get arsey, that’s the point where you remind them not everyone likes to share.

SageRosemary · 26/05/2021 14:05

It's your decision, of course. However, I would not agree that you are making an "informed" decision.

The type of clot associated with AZ is vastly different to that associated with the contraceptive pill. A clotting history with the contraceptive pill might not be a risk factor with AZ. However, you can talk to your GP to discuss your decision to vaccinate, or not.

Your age group will not be offered AZ so you do not have to worry about clots from the vaccine. Your vaccinator will discuss any fears you may have.

The risk of clotting from contracting Covid is much higher and will remain, and arguably, you will be at increased risk of contracting Covid as restrictions are eased as more and more people are vaccinated. Those vaccinated are protected from serious illness and death but they may still be infectious. You can contract Covid from an infected Covid sufferer and you still have a tiny risk of contracting Covid from an infected vaccinated person who may not be showing any symptoms. How long do you want to live in fear? And, if you contract Covid you are putting other lives at risk.

FYI - I got the AZ vaccine, it was the only one available to me as a high risk person, I am gagging to get my second one to be as "fully" protected as I can be.

PlanetOfTheApesLives · 26/05/2021 14:20

Avoidant behaviour is what people with mental health problems tend to do as you are demonstrating.

Lostinacloud · 26/05/2021 14:21

OP, just let it all blow over your head. It will soon be yesterday’s news once your age group passes. For example, is anyone still asking 65 year olds if they’ve had the vaccine yet?
If anyone asks directly and you don’t feel comfortable just say you have an appointment in a couple of weeks. That will satisfy most people and they’ll just assume you had it. Not that I agree that anybody should have to tell anybody else their medical status, but I know it’s currently a ‘hot’ topic of conversation and if you are worried what people would think if you tell them you don’t want it then this avoids lying directly and any discomfort associated with that.
Also for what it’s worth, I am slightly older than you and had symptomatic sars-cov2 last October. It was nothing worse than the feeling of a 3 day hangover with no longer lasting effects. Not everyone who gets it will end up on a ventilator or with long covid and I am personally satisfied that I now have natural immunity (as much as the current ‘science’ likes to disagree with that while the mass vaccination drive is underway).

Larkstongues · 26/05/2021 14:21

I agree with other posters who've suggested if it wasn't the vaccine it'd be something else bothering you, however, my advice to be treated like a leper is to simply lie about having had the vaccine.
After all, you CAN still catch it even IF vaccinated so nobody need ever find out you lied.

OrangeSharked · 26/05/2021 14:31

I understand why you've made the decision you have, but I don't think you should kid yourself that its an informed decision, its an illogical decision driven purely by your anxiety.

You need to seek help for your anxiety. You won't take medications for it, yet this is what you need. You are presenting what is severe anxiety as rationale decision making but its not. The only way to begin overcoming the anxiety is to challenge it, you can see the effects of that in that your covid anxiety has lessened with time. Your anxiety about medications will lessen the more you take them

I don't think people should treat you as a leper, but equally you will have to accept that you present a risk to others and society by not getting vaccinated. People who are immunocompromised or elderly and at risk of covid may chose to avoid you for their own health

Hannah941 · 26/05/2021 14:33

So don't have it OP. It's not compulsory. You don't need to beat yourself up about it.

I'm not having it either because I'm pregnant at the moment but will have it later on. I do have a history of health anxiety myself (ditto the unnecessary trips to A&E) and if I was having a flare up then i wouldn't opt in either.

frozendaisy · 26/05/2021 14:36

As with all decisions some people will prefer to steer clear of unvaccinated others whilst other people won't care.

XenoBitch · 26/05/2021 14:37

@GirlCrush

thats fine, its your individual choice

i'd hope you would stay away from public places though?

Why should she? Are you telling the same to people who have not been invited for their vaccine yet? Or people who have been advised by their doctor not to have it?
OrangeSharked · 26/05/2021 14:38

To those saying its not tested, currently about 70% of the adult population in the UK have received their first dose. Nearly 40 million people in the UK. Admittedly this is a couple of types of vaccine but thats pretty massive numbers, usually your looking a couple hundred thousand for vaccine testing. Yes it has been rushed through but its no longer really a new vaccine or untested when millions of people have had a dose

Wellbythebloodyhell · 26/05/2021 14:38

You don't have to have the vaccine now or ever if you don't want too,nor do you need to justify that decision to anyone. Ignore twattish comments about avoiding public places completely ignorant and unnecessary.
Lie and say if you've had it if you feel the need to pacify judgemental arseholes.

murbblurb · 26/05/2021 14:39

Basic risk assessment says get vaccinated. Mental health issues distort thinking.

It is your choice ( as it should be). 'leper' is a bit strong but when I am up for more indoors stuff that just the super market run, the vaccine status of the people I am meeting will be relevant.

Allmyarseandpeggymartin · 26/05/2021 14:54

Please don’t do as some posters are suggesting and lie about the fact you’ve not had it op - that’s not fair on them to not have the choice to stay away from you.

XenoBitch · 26/05/2021 14:57

@Allmyarseandpeggymartin

Please don’t do as some posters are suggesting and lie about the fact you’ve not had it op - that’s not fair on them to not have the choice to stay away from you.
If they have had their vaccine then they are safe. OP being unvaccinated wont matter. Anyone terrified of the unvaccinated can stay indoors, because they will encounter many whilst going about their day to day life.
sergeilavrov · 26/05/2021 14:58

@Wellbythebloodyhell Do you feel the same about people who practice unsafe sex and then lie about their risk status with new partners? Disgraceful behaviour. Your right to bodily autonomy and privacy ends when it impacts the rights and safety of others.

Allmyarseandpeggymartin · 26/05/2021 15:02

@XenoBitch Not everyone can have the vaccine and it’s disgusting to lie to others about being vaccinated if you aren’t

Jourdain11 · 26/05/2021 15:04

OP, sorry, but I hope you've ordered a handbell online. As long as you're happy to walk around ringing it and calling out "unclean, unclean!" I can't see an issue with your decision.

Larkstongues · 26/05/2021 15:10

segeilavrovs response fully illustrates why lying IS the best option.
I'm not having the vaccine and I will lie to others about it.
If they've got that much faith in the vaccine then logically my lie shouldn't bother them.
Lie and lie away I say.
Or if your conscience is better than mine simply invent a reason you can't have it this way the holier than thou can then decide if they want to stay away from you.

XenoBitch · 26/05/2021 15:13

[quote sergeilavrov]@Wellbythebloodyhell Do you feel the same about people who practice unsafe sex and then lie about their risk status with new partners? Disgraceful behaviour. Your right to bodily autonomy and privacy ends when it impacts the rights and safety of others.[/quote]
Your right to bodily autonomy never ends. Scary that you think it does.

whymewhyme · 26/05/2021 15:16

Jesus christ some of the comments on here are shocking, why does she need to stay away from public places....you do realise that even with 2 doses you can still transmit the virus! Just because shes hasn't has the vaccine does mean shea walking covid!

Divebar2021 · 26/05/2021 15:18

I'm not having the vaccine and I will lie to others about it.
If they've got that much faith in the vaccine then logically my lie shouldn't bother them

How do you know who will have had it? How can you identify someone who is unable to have it versus a person who has chosen not to have it? Children haven’t had it and quite frankly I would prefer you stayed away from mine. I dare say there are many more vulnerable people in society who would be at greater risk who would feel the same. Whether you lie to people rather than being honest and allowing people an informed decision says a lot about the type of person you are.

Toty · 26/05/2021 15:21

i'd hope you would stay away from public places though?

Seriously, just go away, what a silly silly post. Are you one of those thick vaccinated people who think they can no longer infect others? Will you refuse medical care from unvaccinated health care workers? No because you won't know who's vaccinated because it's none of your business.

Honestly OP just lie, that's what I've been doing.

Larkstongues · 26/05/2021 15:30

whymewhyme doesn't shock me, unfortunately.
The vaccinated have developed this idea that because they stuck their arm out for 5 seconds that they're now up there with Gandhi in terms of moral righteousness -when really it's to piss off to the Algarve for a fortnight/go to a restaurant/pub again- so obviously to protect this idea the unvaccinated are effectively treated like scumbags.

Also, you cannot be unvaccinated so if the vaccine turns out to be a dud they'll be jealous as hell of those who held off.

Yep. Those who choose not to be vaxxed will be treated as lepers by a vocal minority. So yet again I absolutely stress to lie about it.

FrankensteinIsTheMonster · 26/05/2021 16:20

@Larkstongues

whymewhyme doesn't shock me, unfortunately. The vaccinated have developed this idea that because they stuck their arm out for 5 seconds that they're now up there with Gandhi in terms of moral righteousness -when really it's to piss off to the Algarve for a fortnight/go to a restaurant/pub again- so obviously to protect this idea the unvaccinated are effectively treated like scumbags.

Also, you cannot be unvaccinated so if the vaccine turns out to be a dud they'll be jealous as hell of those who held off.

Yep. Those who choose not to be vaxxed will be treated as lepers by a vocal minority. So yet again I absolutely stress to lie about it.

Thankfully none of my friends, vaccinated or unvaccinated, have quite such an unpleasant personality as you seem to be keen to demonstrate.