Strange problem in relation to lockdown ending

[Bookridden]

Like many people, I'm feeling a bit low and angry. However, my feelings are caused by worry about the risk of Covid, but a sense of frustration about how risk averse society has become, and how many services are still not operating fully because of the risk. I think about the fact it's so difficult to see a GP face to face, the fact schools aren't back to normal (DD misses 2.5 hours a week due to a reduced school day), not many libraries open for browsing, people flattening themselves against walls when you go past them etc etc. I thought the successful rollout of vaccines was supposed to bring us back to normality, and yet now the threat of the Indian variant is the latest problem to delay opening up. The risk for even partially vaccinated people coming to serious harm is tiny, so any are we living like this? Vulnerable people will be (thankfully) fully vaccinated. I'm left feeling so fucking angry and tearful about this, and find I feel massively resentful towards people who are still talking about the covid risks. I realise this is my issue, and a reflection of my mental health. I'm posting as I'm looking for some supportive advice on how to deal with my resentment about all of this. Grateful for any support or morale boosting really. Thanks in advance.

Not caused by worry about Covid. Sorry for the typo.

Have you had your vaccine?

I do agree with @Bookridden and am feeling quite panic stricken today by the thought that lockdown might not be lifted as planned because of all the needless doom mongering.

Enough is enough. There’s no evidence of vaccine escape or pressure on hospitals etc and life needs to go on now.

You are not alone OP, believe me.
But society is opening up and we are all coming to terms with it.
Inevitably, some people will remain hidden behind the sofa because this government appears to have done a massive number on them with its scaremongering to the extent they have genuinely lost sight of the wood for the trees.
The rest of us have businesses to run, jobs to do and lives to lead.

I agree with you.
I’m doing my best to not let it get me down though.
I’m currently just living day to day and doing things the way I want to do them.
I continue to follow the ‘rules’ whilst out in public spaces and try and respect other people’s boundaries when it comes to space and mixing but I’m making my own choices when it comes to family and like minded friends. I am being sensible, washing, mask wearing etc when required but I’m not putting my life on hold if I can help it any more.
It WILL go back to normal, it’s just taking longer than we might hope.
Some people’s fear of this is completely irrational out of all proportion and I struggle with that. A friend told me this week that she still hasn’t touched her very elderly dad. He’s fully vaccinated and so is she. ‘I just need to keep him safe’ - what about all the other (more likely) ways that he might die? Heart attack, a fall, a stroke??? Can she keep him safe from those too?
It does sadden me but I can’t change it and it doesn’t affect me directly so I just make sympathetic noises.
It will get better. Try not to let other people’s nonsense get you down. You can’t change them, so you do you and make the best of it!

Had first jab (presume I got in early for my age due to mild underlying conditions).

Actually, it's surprisingly helpful to hear some of you feel the same. I always used to think I was a raving hypochondriac before all this started (eg a headache had me running to Google and typing in "brain tumour"). But I've looked at the stats, and must be the Bear Grylls of covid because I don't see a huge risk thanks to vaccines. And I'm a wuss through and through. Don't think I've ever felt so out of step with society, and it's really making me depressed.

Just as your anger is valid for your reasons, other people's reactions are equally valid. I think you need to remind yourself that we have all had a slightly different experience of the pandemic which will affect the way we feel.

If someone feels the need to socially distance then that is their business. Personally I'm using it as an excuse to never again allow neck breathers anywhere near me in the supermarket queue!

People's feelings aren't wrong.

You need to pop over to the AD threads @Bookridden. They saved my sanity last summer when I thought I was the only one who felt as you do!

Should say that I do obey all rules. I just feel unhappy. I'm angry that other people being so risk averse drives what I am allowed to do. There, I've said it. You want to hide at home now the vulnerable are vaccinated, fine, full your boots. But your fears should not dictate how the rest of us live. I did say I was angry. I recognise my own low mood is behind this resentment and I would like to find a way to switch off from it.

@WouldBeGood yes, I think it would be comforting to hear from others who feel the same. Will check them out, thank you.

Your feelings are valid. I'm just feeling irritated and dismissive of it now. Bored of it. Sick and fucking tired of it.

I feel frustrated for similar reasons OP. The risk to society is now very comparable to flu, so I would hope people would realise this and that ongoing restrictions are no more necessary than they would be in a typical flu season.

I also wish we heard more from the government about placing the risk from Covid into its broader context and so help to allay fears rather than exacerbate them.

You're not alone @bookridden I am so frustrated with it all. My family are dithering about plans to visit in June because of the India Variant and the news coverage of it.

People’s feeling aren’t ‘wrong’ that is true.
But their reasons for why they feel that way can be wrong. And should be challenged sometimes.

Yep - same here. I was told last year when I was angry about it all I was on a grief cycle about it - but I still haven't moved off the anger stage. It's wearing, for me and I imagine for my family also, and everyone else around me. I nearly wept this morning with all the hyperbole over the Indian variant. I am done.

Definitely not alone OP. The government and media’s year of relentless scaremongering has really done a number on some people. Meanwhile the negative impact of lockdowns on vulnerable groups (speech and language difficulties among small children; MH issues and eating disorders among teens; delays in cancer diagnosis and treatment; loss of condition in old people, not to mention the massive economic cost) is only just beginning to come to light.

I phoned my local library yesterday to book one of their ‘family browsing slots’ next week (in reality half an hour spent masked-up in an otherwise deserted children’s library, hurriedly searching for appropriate books while trying to prevent DD from touching anything lest we get shouted at by the designated Covid Security Worker, who is standing glaring at you throughout). Asked the librarian when access might return to normal, only to be asked what I meant by ‘normal’ and informed that pre-pandemic browsing, rhyme times etc were likely never to return. I’m just glad that DD is one of the lucky ones who can currently access the library and who will have some conception of what a library actually is.

It seems we are currently living under a ‘tyranny of safety’. Covid has caused a depressing number of people to lose all perspective of everyday risk, and all grasp of fundamental human needs what is truly important in life (clue: the answer is not just ‘survival’).

Since last year I’ve felt like I’ve been swimming against the tide in questioning many of the measures we’ve taken in the name of Covid, and (especially) the insistence of many that measures such as lockdowns, masks and social distancing will have no wider negative impact on society. I’m hoping things will begin to change now the immediate crisis is passing, but it does seem that for many people their fear has perversely become a kind of crutch and they’re reluctant to let go of it.

And yes, the AD threads are great. Have only ever lurked on them myself, but they’re like a breath of fresh air and have helped save my sanity over the past year!

This is exactly how I feel!

I know of 8 people personally who have taken their lives. And so many more who have been fighting to be diagnosed with life threatening illnesses and been left to their own devices.
The more I think about it the more angry I get so I have to stop myself.

Absolutely agree. I haven't been vaccinated yet and I'm happy to go back to 2019 normal without one. I live in Erewash where we currently have the highest numbers of Covid in the country and I have a horrible feeling in the pit of my stomach about local restrictions coming in. I'll ignore them if they do that at this point.

[quote goldielockdown2 ]I know of 8 people personally who have taken their lives. And so many more who have been fighting to be diagnosed with life threatening illnesses and been left to their own devices.
The more I think about it the more angry I get so I have to stop myself. [/quote]
I know of 3!
Suicides and mental health generally don't seem to count in all this.
It's a national scandal.

I'm absolutely sick of vaccinated GPs hiding away while elderly patients stand outside surgeries in the rain.
Libraries acting like they are doing you a massive favour just letting you in the door @TempsPerdu your experience sounds absolutely awful. My dsis works in a library & has every excuse about her "public facing role" being dangerous
I suppose we've got to give it until June 21st but quite honestly I'll take my chances with Covid, I worked throughout Lockdowns & I've really had enough.
Gosh, feel angry now!!

I feel very strongly that this ultra caution around everything is pretty ridiculous. A lot of infections were in "closed environments" like care homes and a lot of cross infection between patients happened in hospitals. My own Dad went into hospital in December for cancer (had 2 negative CV19 tests beforehand), he caught CV19 in hospital and died.

I had CV19 in December too as they let me in to see him and I got it too. After I and my family had it and my DMum had her vaccine shots we've acted normally. We wear a mask in shops, we don't tend to eat out much, we don't go to pubs as I don't drink, but if I want to see someone I do (provided they are also ok with it). I don't really know what the rules are any more as frankly I'm over it.

OP, I could have written your post, and I've had my first vaccine too! I am heartened to see other people feeling the same, I thought it was just me being unreasonable!

You have just articulated exactly how I am feeling right now. I am unable to find any enjoyment in anything nor look forward to any events as the possibility of them being cancelled yet again is so high. Freedoms can be taken away by the government instantly.

The risks to vaccinated people are small, yet I saw someone wiping down their shopping in the supermarket car park with dettol before putting it in the car. People wearing masks and gloves when driving alone in their own car. Nonsensical rules in shops that do not reduce risk, they are just virtue signalling that they are ‘keeping you safe at this difficult time’. Just fuck off and let me decide whether walking three feet the other way is more dangerous.

With that level of fear instilled in people how do we ever go back to making our own sensible risk assessments?? Actually, we don’t, because the government has taken away our freedom to do this.

Sorry, not feeling great today