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Original poster

Dp not keen on getting vaccination anymore.

40 replies

Beeme29 · 13/04/2021 09:08

Hi all! I am nearly and was vaccinated in Feb as I’m a carer to our two children who both have additional needs. I did have AZ and am a little anxious about the second but I had no side effects after my first dose so hopefully all will be okay. I’ve still got over a month until my second dose.

Dp is 41 and now with news they are doing over 45’s it’s getting close to his age group. He’s not really keen. He’s been all for vaccinations but since the whole blood clot risk came out he’s not so keen. I get the worry, of course I do. He’s very healthy and probably at a lower risk to covid than me - I am obese (but bmi is under 40 so didn’t get vaccination based on that) whereas he’s very slim and generally healthy.

Of course it’s his own decision but I feel like when he’s able to he should get it. He’s the only one in our immediate family that hasn’t been vaccinated. His parents are due to age and health problems. My parents have due to both age and occupations etc. Our brothers and sisters have not but they are considerably younger than us (early 20’s on both sides)

What should I do? Convince him? Leave him make his own decision? He knows I was fine after. I didn’t even have a sore arm!

OP posts:
Wellbythebloodyhell · 13/04/2021 09:13

Hes a grown adult perfectly capable of making his own decision. He may decide not to have it just yet but it doesn't mean he won't change his mind and get it later down the line.
I think many people will think twice given the blood clots info in the news and I cant blame them, I've had my 1st AZ and won't hesitate to get the 2nd but I won't implore my views or expectations on others, everyone has the right to come to their own conclusions

Wellbythebloodyhell · 13/04/2021 09:15

Also get ready for the on slaught of comments that will tell you to LTB Hmm

Cornettoninja · 13/04/2021 09:17

Leave him to make his own decision.

I understand your feelings but ultimately you can’t, and shouldn’t, pressure him. I’m going to presume he’s already aware of your stance so I don’t think you need to push the point. We have other vaccines on the horizon so it may be that he’s more comfortable with one of those.

paralysedbyinertia · 13/04/2021 09:17

Let him make his own decision, but make sure he has got decent life insurance!

Heartofstrings · 13/04/2021 09:18

I'm very pro vaccine but am beginning to be alert to the news about it. I'm not at the stage of not wanting it but am glad it isn't my turn yet

Thatwentbadly · 13/04/2021 09:18

The risk of blood clots in the same as getting a long haul flight. Maybe suggest he looks at the numbers.

Terracotta9 · 13/04/2021 09:20

Let him be.

I won’t be getting a vaccine (already had covid, not in a high risk demographic), and if DH kept trying to convince me otherwise I would find it overbearing and it would probably be quite damaging for the relationship.

He might decide he wants one of the other vaccines later on.

Wellbythebloodyhell · 13/04/2021 09:25

@Thatwentbadly

The risk of blood clots in the same as getting a long haul flight. Maybe suggest he looks at the numbers.
He maybe looking at those numbers of people his age have been severely affected or died of covid too whilst making his decision.
Paddy1234 · 13/04/2021 09:28

I am pro vaccine all the way. However no one should be pressured into having it - however they should have all the relevant facts at there disposal and not the misinformation flying around.

Paddy1234 · 13/04/2021 09:29

I say no one but anyone in healthcare or social care have a duty of care

NailsNeedDoing · 13/04/2021 09:34

You have to let him make his own choice without pressure.

MargosKaftan · 13/04/2021 09:34

I would find it hard to support someone not taking this risk, but is happy to take part in activities with similar / higher risks of health compilation/death.

If hes generally a low risk, stay at home sort of person, I could understand. If he's happily taken long haul flights, played contact sports, rides bikes on public roads, taken recreational drugs in the past etc, id be questioning this risk being the one he won't take, when it's about protecting the family, not just him having fun.

Useruseruserusee · 13/04/2021 09:36

He needs to make his own decision but I would encourage him to speak to his GP or another health professional before deciding.

Original poster
Beeme29 · 13/04/2021 09:37

I’m not pressurising him and of course I’ll let him make his own mind up... But we’ve been together a decade I have told him how I feel and not for my own benefit. But someone in my village died of covid aged 40 with zero underlying health issues, very sad. Dp is very healthy but you just never know. H now is parents are vulnerable too. My parents are vulnerable really but have had the vaccine.

I’m just peed because I was hesitant to get my first one in Feb and he encouraged me to do so now he doesn’t want it himself - thankfully I’m fine.

OP posts:
Original poster
Beeme29 · 13/04/2021 09:39

@MargosKaftan

I would find it hard to support someone not taking this risk, but is happy to take part in activities with similar / higher risks of health compilation/death.

If hes generally a low risk, stay at home sort of person, I could understand. If he's happily taken long haul flights, played contact sports, rides bikes on public roads, taken recreational drugs in the past etc, id be questioning this risk being the one he won't take, when it's about protecting the family, not just him having fun.

He’s definitely a stay at home person. He works full time in a relatively low risk job but if he’s not at work he’s generally at home. Wish he’d go out sometimes 😂 He was a bit more outgoing in his younger years though!
OP posts:
Vickles20 · 13/04/2021 09:39

I managed to get my DH’s vacinne booked yesterday when the slots were released. I ran down and asked him when was best last week.
He was a bit thrown I think. As he was quite happy to wait a bit longer (as he works from home, doesn’t go out massively). He seemed a bit off initially.
(I had my A-Z a fortnight ago and hasn’t felt brilliant. But onwards and upwards. Feeling better now... but I know he’s been a bit concerned.)
He agreed to book it and I was expecting him to be grumpy as I kind of dropped it on him.
But he came up last night. Saying. Yeah. Ok. Let’s do it. He I think would’ve liked a bit longer, if that makes sense, to see if they sorted A-Z out. He could see about Ireland not offering anymore for under 60’s. But he’s agreed and is doing it.
Very low covid in our area. But still. He wants to get in with his/our lives. But there was an initial... oooh. Okayyyyyy....

Maybe give him a bit of time.

Like everyone said. His call I know. But honestly. I’d be pissed if he didn’t. I’ve had it. And I want him to have it. We have 4 kids (2 in senior school and 2 in primary school.). And they could bring it back to us. And he has older parents. He knows deep down to for it. But yes, I did drop it on him and he was surprised it was this early.

Overthebow · 13/04/2021 09:41

Encourage him like he did to you but don’t pressure him. Does he want any trips abroad in the next year? If so he may decide he wants it anyway when travel becomes easier if you’ve had a vaccine

HolmeH · 13/04/2021 09:45

My OH isnt keen now either. But we are younger & no vulnerabilities. His is more that he has real medical anxiety .. not health anxiety, he’s not overly worried about the clot thing itself in that the risk is really tiny .. it’s the idea that if he was unlucky he’d need to go to hospital. And he has real anxiety of all things hospitals & medical procedures! He really struggled during both my labours while I had needles stuck into me left, right & centre 😂

I support his decision on the whole, I’d never try change his mind but I do send him links to the facts if I find new things etc. I do feel kinda glum his anxiety may get the better of him. And you never know with covid, it can be nasty! Ultimately he’s a grown man & his choice. He knows I’ll be getting it when offered..

5lilducks · 13/04/2021 09:45

I am 41 and I don't want to get the vaccination yet either. A few months after the moderna vaccine is rolled out , I would probably take it (if offered) if the data shows there are no issues with the vaccine. No AZ for me , thank you. Yes, I have heard the usual patronising arguments for it such as a long haul flight being more risky, and the pill and paracetamol being more risky , but at 41 i am perfectly capable of deciding what I want and don't want injected into my body. Your dh is an adult, he can decide for himself. No one should be bullied, nagged or patronised into having a jab.

Original poster
Beeme29 · 13/04/2021 10:18

@Overthebow

Encourage him like he did to you but don’t pressure him. Does he want any trips abroad in the next year? If so he may decide he wants it anyway when travel becomes easier if you’ve had a vaccine
Our passports are well out of date so nothing On the horizon regarding holidays, not even in the UK. We live on right the coast so we don’t feel the rush to get away for now. ☀️ Our children’s needs make it harder to get away for a break too...

I’ll let him make his own decision. I think he will have it in time but is a bit hesitant for now!

OP posts:
Rainbowsandstorms · 13/04/2021 10:21

I think it’s difficult. I was a bit hesitant when I had the opportunity to book there was some information about blood clots but it had been reviewed and deemed there was no link so I decided to book. Two days after I’d had mine it was suspended again in Germany and there were daily updates about it. I’m in my 30s and it’s been a nerve wracking few weeks. I still feel a bit off 2.5 weeks on and will be reviewing the available information before I have my second dose. I can understand anyone who wants to wait for a bit more information as those of us who have recently had it will provide the information regarding safety. Remember he may well change his mind shortly if things settle down a bit and there are other vaccinations too. I think there are a lot of people out there who say they’d happily take it who may waver when it actually comes to booking.

murbblurb · 13/04/2021 10:23

Obviously stupid given the numbers, but we don't force the stupid. He won't be driving anywhere as that is much riskier. Of course?

Cornettoninja · 13/04/2021 10:32

@5lilducks of course your stance is completely valid but I would say that the examples you posted about flights/the pill/paracetamol aren’t (usually) posted to be patronising but to offer perspective. Most people don’t go through life analysing everything they do for risk so it’s easy to lose perspective in the current climate. If it helps one person make a definite decision either way then it’s worth pointing out.

TheVampiresWife · 13/04/2021 11:06

I've had mine but DH is very meh about getting his, and says he might not bother. I'm 49 and in group 6 whereas he's 38 and slim, fit and healthy, is wfh and has had covid, so I think he feels he's not particularly at risk. Also he saw how unwell my first dose made me (I was fine after five days but wasn't well at all) and that put him off I think.

I'd rather he had it but it's his choice. Nobody should be forced or coerced into having a vaccination. I've told him why I think he should have it, and I'd be happier if he did, but that's it. Up to him.

Allmyarseandpeggymartin · 13/04/2021 12:30

So you’ve got two children with additional needs that you got the vaccine to protect and now it’s his turn “he’s not keen”

Fuck that!

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