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Original poster

Sitting in the garden all night..

44 replies

needadvice54321 · 12/04/2021 11:21

Hi

Odd one so bear with me! DS is almost 18. He's been invited to go to a friends with a few others for an evening this week - bbq. Personally I think they're bonkers as it's so cold, but there you go!

Friend lives a bit of a distance away as DS attends college in a different town. I asked him how he's planning on getting home, and his response was that he and his friends were just going to sit in the garden all night?!

Now they have done this before, so it wasn't an unusual response, but I'm not feeling too comfortable with how this sits with the rules? DS said he thought it would be ok as they're not indoors, I'm not so sure. Apparently the friends parents suggested it.

Am I being a bit too precious? I feel a bit crap as DS has had a shit year and he and his friends have stuck firmly to the rules. Up until college restarted last month he hadn't seen them since last November. So I'm keen to not fall out over it, esp if I'm being a bit OTT..

How would you feel about this?

OP posts:
JensonsAcolyte · 12/04/2021 11:24

Ah we used to do this, one of my friends lived on a farm so we’d sit out in the woodland with a campfire, miles from anywhere, with sleeping bags and sometimes tents (not always).

Drinking vodka and getting stoned, mind, so we probably didn’t mind the cold 🤣

Regarding the rules, I can’t see how it breaks them.

CagneyNYPD · 12/04/2021 11:26

Let him go. Tell him to wrap up warm, wish him a good time and tell him you will see him when he gets back.

StrawberryLipstickStateOfMind · 12/04/2021 11:29

It doesn't break the rules at all as they're outside, I just hope the friend hasn't got awful curtain-twitcher neighbours.

As you say he's had a shit year, FFS this is not how life should be at 18. The only thing I'd be telling him is to enjoy himself.

wonkylegs · 12/04/2021 11:29

I used to live miles away rurally from my college friends so when they came over we pitched tents but generally just sat up outside all night round bbq/campfire, with sleeping bags and never went in the tents.
Couldn't do it now but as a teenager it was a completely different thing.

Original poster
needadvice54321 · 12/04/2021 11:29

Thanks both, so I am probably being a bit precious..! I'm sure they'll have a great time, oh to be young again Grin, now I can't think of anything worse!

OP posts:
stopchewingeverything · 12/04/2021 11:30

Hes almost 18....throw a sleeping bag in his direction and tell him to have a nice night with his mates.

Jobsharenightmare · 12/04/2021 11:31

I would assume that's not really what's going to happen in practice because of the weather (if you're in the UK) and he'll end up sleeping over inside, which would break the rules and put people at risk. I would offer to pick him up instead so that he can have a nice time. I assume you've got a car /not been ferrying him about much because of Covid so apologies if this isn't an option.

Having said all that, if it was summer I'd be happy with it as I recall spending a few nights like this 18-23.

StrawberryLipstickStateOfMind · 12/04/2021 11:32

I hope he gets to have a fantastic 18th birthday soon too @needadvice54321, I've felt so sad over the past year for all of them having 18th birthdays and not able to celebrate them properly. Hope he can go to the pub! 😂

QueenOfPain · 12/04/2021 11:32

Yes, I definitely would have done this as a teen. One of my school friends lived quite rurally and we spent many a summer night sat up all night talking and messing about in big groups of teens. They’re lovely memories.

Honeybobbin · 12/04/2021 11:32

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

MonsterMash2210 · 12/04/2021 11:35

Sounds lovely, I hope they all have a great time!

I couldn’t do it but you don’t seem to feel the cold as much when you are ‘young’.

Original poster
needadvice54321 · 12/04/2021 11:38

@Honeybobbin

Surely at that age it's his decision?
Oh exactly, it is. I had no intentions of telling him he couldn't, i just wondered whether I was being ridiculous worrying about it Blush
OP posts:
Original poster
needadvice54321 · 12/04/2021 11:40

@Jobsharenightmare

I would assume that's not really what's going to happen in practice because of the weather (if you're in the UK) and he'll end up sleeping over inside, which would break the rules and put people at risk. I would offer to pick him up instead so that he can have a nice time. I assume you've got a car /not been ferrying him about much because of Covid so apologies if this isn't an option.

Having said all that, if it was summer I'd be happy with it as I recall spending a few nights like this 18-23.

Picking him up is an option, but obviously I wouldn't want to be the only one picking their son up if other parents aren't worrying about it
OP posts:
StrawberryLipstickStateOfMind · 12/04/2021 11:40

Years ago I bought the north face Arctic parka because it was recommended on Mumsnet.

Was one of my best buys ever because of these lockdowns 😂 me and my best friend spent hours outside in the winter, walking around and having a few ciders, we're in our 30s!

He just needs a really good warm coat and he'll be fine. I think the cider helped us stay warm too 😂

Original poster
needadvice54321 · 12/04/2021 11:41

@Jobsharenightmare

I would assume that's not really what's going to happen in practice because of the weather (if you're in the UK) and he'll end up sleeping over inside, which would break the rules and put people at risk. I would offer to pick him up instead so that he can have a nice time. I assume you've got a car /not been ferrying him about much because of Covid so apologies if this isn't an option.

Having said all that, if it was summer I'd be happy with it as I recall spending a few nights like this 18-23.

Also, I think they will stay outside, it just doesn't seem to phase them Shock. They've been very stringent with the "not going indoors" rule up to now, I'd be disappointed if they started now - and I'd be internally disappointed with the parents too
OP posts:
SonicStars · 12/04/2021 11:56

Sounds fun. Suggest a hot water bottle and remind him that cold comes up from the ground so make sure he's sitting on a few layers too.

Chillychangchoo · 12/04/2021 11:57

Jesus he’s 18 let him live a little

EveryFlightBeginsWithAFall · 12/04/2021 12:00

I'd be happy with my 18 year old doing this

CrazyHorse · 12/04/2021 12:00

I'd let him go- and make him take his warm coat. I'd also (as always) tell him I'm happy to collect or pay for a taxi if he decides he wants to come home on the middle of the night.

Soussous · 12/04/2021 12:05

Aw let him go and tell him to have fun. My ds was 18 last month and he’s been bloody miserable the last few months being stuck at home not being able to see his friends. I’d have no problem if he wanted to go to his friends for the night as he’s super responsible. They’re still kids really at this age and have had so much snatched away from them this last year so I’d be encouraging to go and enjoy himself.

Sunshinegirl82 · 12/04/2021 12:46

I'd have definitely done this at 18!

I'd encourage him to take layers and invest in some cheap thermals/fleece/hat/roll mat to sit on (decathlon is your friend!) people underestimate how cold it gets when you're outside for a long time!

Melroses · 12/04/2021 12:48

DS used to go camping with Scouts every January. Just need warm clothing.

It is the nearest thing to wild excitement and 18 yo will get atm.

Hope the neighbours are ok.

katkit · 12/04/2021 12:52

It’s freezing... can they take a tent? Sounds great, apart from the cold

Bluntness100 · 12/04/2021 12:53

Let him crack on. I held an after prom party cor my daughter ans lots of the kids decided to camp. The reality is they sat up all night talking shit. Let him be.

Orangesarenottheonlyfruit · 12/04/2021 13:27

I'm 41 and I intend to do this at the weekend ! I'm taking our bell tent and the fire pit but basically I'm meeting my mates and we're going to chat all night. Can't wait!

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