Refusing to go out until zero covid

[IrmaFayLear]

Bil and sil have not been out since March 2020. They wfh, in 50s with no health conditions at all. They have both been fully vaccinated - two doses (sil’s best friend is a GP ). Dh was speaking to bil yesterday and he said it’s not safe until cases are zero worldwide, and that because they care so much about each other (!) they have decided that they cannot take any risk.

Are there many people like this? I was in the shielding category and although I have been ultra cautious, I have still gone for walks, dashed into the chemist in a hazmat suit etc etc. I wonder if they are extreme outliers or whether there will be more recluses now, feeling fully justified.

It’s so serious that we’ve been locked in our houses for a year. So unsurprisingly I don’t want him to catch it if it’s that serious.

The reason you’ve been locked in your house all year has got absolutely nothing to do with how Covid affects small children. If it affected everyone in the same way, we probably wouldn’t even be aware of it as a new virus.

@DandelionSprout

Do you worry about him catching a cold? This isn’t a cold. It’s a virus which has caused a huge number of deaths and made our economy literally grind to a halt. It’s so serious that we’ve been locked in our houses for a year. So unsurprisingly I don’t want him to catch it if it’s that serious.

Wasn't even as bad as a cold for my DS (and me!). Mild sore throat for a few days. My other 2 didn't catch it or were asymptomatic. I know lots of kids who have had it. All very mildly unwell

@DandelionSprout

My biggest fear is for my little boy. He’s obviously not vaccinated and not likely to be. It seems irresponsible to vaccinate myself then go about our lives with no protection for him.

Dandelion the risk from Covid is minuscule for high majority of children. Including yours.

Read up on it as you sound very stressed generally about very low risk.

@XenoBitch

This is really sad. I assume they are refusing to have people in their house too? That is no life at all.

They might think it a great life. Not everyone likes the same things. Or they may wait until a certain point and decide whether herd immunity is likely. It could be and they may not want to socialise until then. It's up to them.

My biggest fear is for my little boy. He’s obviously not vaccinated and not likely to be. It seems irresponsible to vaccinate myself then go about our lives with no protection for him

Wasn't even as bad as a cold for my DS (and me!)

Me neither and I'm 50. DH is 51 and had no symptoms whatsoever. Dd (10) didn't catch it at all (we know for sure as we were being tested as part of ONS study). You are right when you talk about a media campaign of fear. Dont let it affect you letting your ds getting out and about.

@DandelionSprout

My biggest fear is for my little boy. He’s obviously not vaccinated and not likely to be. It seems irresponsible to vaccinate myself then go about our lives with no protection for him.

The effect of long term isolation on a young child far outweighs any potential effects from covid !

The effect of long term isolation on a young child far outweighs any potential effects from covid !
This!
Unbelievable that there are still people out there with this total lack of understanding of relative risk.

It’s so serious that we’ve been locked in our houses for a year

But you know that's not remotely true, @DandelionSprout. Even when the virus has been at its height we haven't been locked in our houses.

One of the most disturbing things for me about Covid has been seeing people’s hitherto well hidden fears and anxieties. These are people who I thought I knew really well. People I thought would be sensible about assessing risk with a good grasp of probability.

It’s kind of left me a bit off kilter as I had no idea they were like this and suddenly I’ve seen them in a different light and now I can’t unsee it.

On the flip side, I have a CEV colleague who had been shielding. On returning to work she was criticising the rest of us for wearing masks in certain areas at work as we had been told to do. I was irrationally furious with her. I thought how fucking dare you when you’ve been sitting at home on full pay whilst the rest of us have been working throughout.

Has anyone else experienced this, where your view of someone has been altered?

@DandelionSprout

My biggest fear is for my little boy. He’s obviously not vaccinated and not likely to be. It seems irresponsible to vaccinate myself then go about our lives with no protection for him.

What is irresponsible is doing about zero research in to this

@DandelionSprout

Do you worry about him catching a cold? This isn’t a cold. It’s a virus which has caused a huge number of deaths and made our economy literally grind to a halt. It’s so serious that we’ve been locked in our houses for a year. So unsurprisingly I don’t want him to catch it if it’s that serious.

I certainly haven't been locked in my house for a year! Boris certainly doesn't have a key to it, or he didn't last time I checked.

I've been doing my family shopping each week, going out for walks, have visited and cared for my parents at times (vulnerable people who needed support) and have just got back from supporting my mother through my father's death and funeral. All told, I've spent about 7 weeks away doing that, through all of the lockdowns. I'm in a clinically vulnerable group too, but had no choice and I would do it all again if required. I didn't shield and I am glad I didn't. It wasn't possible and if I had then I would never have seen my lovely Dad alive again (his death wasn't Covid related).

Covid is much less likely to affect children too seriously. There can be exceptions of course, but they are fairly few and far between. In fact, all of the young people I know who have ever tested positive for Covid 19 have either been completely asymptomatic or have only had a very, very mild cold. Little more than a sniffle and mild sore throat.

I don't think there is as much need to worry about children. I think they will be vaccinated eventually though as it would most likely reduce transmission in schools.

I think a lot of them feel a lot of responsibility for people that they have, after all, been helping and have built up a relationship with for a year - but it's not sustainable, and it's also beginning to feel like it might be hindering not helping these people to facilitate them never leaving the house. As I said it isn't actually a dilemma I face, thankfully, but I can see why those that do feel they can't just abruptly stop

Sounds like it's time for the volunteers to accept that they aren't necessarily doing people like this any favours. I'd say the organisers need to give notice now that, unless there is a third wave, the service is going to come to an end in July when most people have been vaccinated. That will give time for those who genuinely need help to organise it through social services or elsewhere.

@Nith

I think a lot of them feel a lot of responsibility for people that they have, after all, been helping and have built up a relationship with for a year - but it's not sustainable, and it's also beginning to feel like it might be hindering not helping these people to facilitate them never leaving the house. As I said it isn't actually a dilemma I face, thankfully, but I can see why those that do feel they can't just abruptly stop

Sounds like it's time for the volunteers to accept that they aren't necessarily doing people like this any favours. I'd say the organisers need to give notice now that, unless there is a third wave, the service is going to come to an end in July when most people have been vaccinated. That will give time for those who genuinely need help to organise it through social services or elsewhere.

I agree with that. We just can't continue like this.

My parents did have a private arrangement with a friend of theirs for getting their shopping in during the last year as my Dad was extremely vulnerable, but they rarely used the volunteer service.

Very sadly, my mother is now on her own. She is always delighted to get out though if anyone is able to take her. She needs a wheelchair when out and about in order to get anywhere properly, and for medical reasons can no longer drive. Even if that trip is only down to the supermarket, it lifts her spirits to get the chance of going somewhere other than her house.

My sister and I have both taken her. Her friends will do so too and sometimes she will pay local specialist taxi services if she really wants to.

The continuing isolation that some people seem to be planning is as bad as Covid 19 in my opinion.

@Deux

One of the most disturbing things for me about Covid has been seeing people’s hitherto well hidden fears and anxieties. These are people who I thought I knew really well. People I thought would be sensible about assessing risk with a good grasp of probability.

It’s kind of left me a bit off kilter as I had no idea they were like this and suddenly I’ve seen them in a different light and now I can’t unsee it.

On the flip side, I have a CEV colleague who had been shielding. On returning to work she was criticising the rest of us for wearing masks in certain areas at work as we had been told to do. I was irrationally furious with her. I thought how fucking dare you when you’ve been sitting at home on full pay whilst the rest of us have been working throughout.

Has anyone else experienced this, where your view of someone has been altered?

Yes definitely. Some people seem very susceptible to propaganda and don't look at the facts or stats around risk at all which i find frustrating. Some people acting like mini dictators trying to police other peoples every nove which I cannot respect. My mum has referred to people driving somewhere for a walk as breaking the law. And i just think some people will believe and go along with anything the government/media tell them without question or any critical thought and will demonise anyone who dares step out of line. I've decided with family like that its best just agree to disagree. My mum has had both vaccines, she's healthy weight, no health conditions but she's horrified at the people she's seen on the tele going to the shops and has no intention of going anywhere anytime soon.

It’s so serious that we’ve been locked in our houses for a year

I haven’t. I doubt many people have. People go to work, to the supermarket, go on walks etc. Nobody has been made to stay in their home for a year. Not even the clinically vulnerable.

its so serious that we've been locked in our houses for a year
If anyone has been locked in their house for a year then been their personal choice too its not and never has been mandatory to be "locked up" we've always been "allowed outside " to exercise

SIL is completely neurotic, she posts photos on Facebook and Twitter of people walking on the road behind her garden considering them a mortal risk and God forbid if anyone pauses and touches her wall. She's had the jab but it's still not eased off at all, latest complaint is that she is unable to garden because her neighbour has her daughter and granchildren over in the garden occasionally and she won't risk venturing outside even when they aren't there. Strangest thing is MIL was a dreadful hypochondriach and SIL was her biggest critic and yet her neuroticism over covid outstrip MILs woes anyday.

@DandelionSprout

My biggest fear is for my little boy. He’s obviously not vaccinated and not likely to be. It seems irresponsible to vaccinate myself then go about our lives with no protection for him.

In children it's extremely mild or zero symptoms. It's natural to worry as a mother but there have been extremely low cases of children ending up in hospital with covid. I get that the media can portray only the worst so its scary.

My DS had covid and prior to him having it I was anxious of wanting him to avoid it. Reality he was asystomatic and passed it onto us nobody could have prevented it.
My DH had a mild case tiredness and a headcold.

I was very unlucky and ended up with a moderate case. Nobody my age I know of has had a moderate case other than me.

It's honestly not as bad as you imagine it to be for younger people but when bombarded with serious messages every day it plays on your mind.
I'm actually really relieved that my DS has now had covid as it means he's now got antibodies although that sounds strange.

I cannot understand people worried about the effect of covid on healthy young children.

Either I’m mad or they are

@Roonerspismed

I cannot understand people worried about the effect of covid on healthy young children.

Either I’m mad or they are

I’d be lying if I said I didn’t have concerns. Covid is such an unknown and seems to be capable of causing unseen damage that my preference is for dd not to contract it if at all possible. There’s a lot we still don’t know.

That said, she’s gone to school throughout (KW place) and we’re rolling with the lifting of restrictions so we have a balanced (I think) view on the actual immediate risk.

@Roonerspismed

I cannot understand people worried about the effect of covid on healthy young children.

Either I’m mad or they are

We don't know what the long-term effects will be. It's interesting that some people are so worried about the long-term vaccination but not Covid.

@Roonerspismed

I cannot understand people worried about the effect of covid on healthy young children.

Either I’m mad or they are

I don't know about them being mad but certainly neurotic and with a poor ability to assess relative risks. The kind of people who say (smugly often) 'you can never be too careful' when when it comes to raising children when in my view you absolutely can be too careful if you want to raise happy, well balanced individuals who go out into the world with confidence rather than fear

I have a friend like this. She's the sole carer of her elderly mother - who has had both jabs. She said she won't be coming out until restrictions are lifted. She does have ongoing mental health issues though- and has had for a long time. She doesn't want to pass it to her mum - which I get, but it is making her mental health much worse. She lives in a flat which she hates and it's not a good situation all round. I've tried to coax her out to an open air public space where it isn't busy but she refuses to. It's hard as I can see her deteriorating and I worry about her, but It's difficult to know what to do.

@Roonerspismed

I cannot understand people worried about the effect of covid on healthy young children.

Either I’m mad or they are

The worst effect will be the irrational fear being passed on from adults around them. Then there are the huge issues with missed education, sport and socialisation also too much time spent on screens and not enough engaging with actual people outside of their own homes.

Live and let live I say. If this behaviour resulted in any personal digs about what you are doing or any lecturing or guilt tripping then I'd speak up. I can't understand it. I'm vulnerable yet refuse to live like that. I can see how the media onslaught can make people feel terrified to be fair to them.