Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Child-safe in minutes.

Meet the Other Phone.
Child-safe in minutes.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
Covid

Mumsnet doesn't verify the qualifications of users. If you have medical concerns, please consult a healthcare professional.

Original poster

Unshielding support thread

64 replies

OhYouBadBadKitten · 09/04/2021 07:47

I thought that we could do with a little support group for those of us who are attempting to start to emerge back into the world. Its hard!

I'm just about to have my second vaccine, but I'm on immunosupressants and so I'm not sure how well the vaccine is taking. I'm too scared to take an antibody test in case it's negative, so Im trying to pretend all is well.

Friends think I must be elated at now being able to go out and do stuff that isn't just going for a walk. But I'm struggling, I suspect many are.

I'm not even especially scared of the virus intellectually, I just can't cope with having people close to me. I had a coffee with friends outside this week. I had to move my chair way away from everyone to be able to be comfortable.

Anyone else feeling this way?

OP posts:
FuzzyPuffling · 09/04/2021 07:54

Thank you kitten.
Yes, exactly how I feel. I am not thrilled to be "allowed out". I am nervous and looking over my shoulder all the time, and that's just walking round my rural area.
I have no interest in going into any shop either!

There's been so little understanding of the effect of shielding, neither during or now after. I'll be taking things very slowly and at my own pace, and firmly ignoring those that just don't get it!

Original poster
OhYouBadBadKitten · 09/04/2021 08:00

I definitely feel as though we are one of the forgotten groups. I feel as though it should be talked about much more. People need to know its normal to feel this way. I've a friend who feels utterly trapped and can't leave the house anymore.

I did go into a shop. It was so hard. It feels as though there's a big forcefield around them. Its hard to explain it.

OP posts:
Original poster
OhYouBadBadKitten · 09/04/2021 08:04

I've taken to repeating the statistics to myself a lot. Round where I am its around 1/2000 people. It seems to help the panic when I'm out walking if someone gets a bit close.

OP posts:
FuzzyPuffling · 09/04/2021 08:08

I know. It makes no logical sense. ( I've had one dose of vaccine and should get the second within a month). I'm awaiting the results of an antibody test (ONS study) and am very jumpy about that...the last one was negative, but too soon really.

I've been very lonely ( thank goodness I have a wonderful DH, definitely in it together) but have felt definitely "othered".

I can't imagine going "indoors" anywhere but home at the moment.

FuzzyPuffling · 09/04/2021 08:11

I'm steeling myself to attempt a shop this week. 😮

I did manage a garden centre a short while ago, but that was grab the potting compost, pay remotely outside and scarper!

iVampire · 09/04/2021 08:11

I’m OK with it. but it is weird

I’m not rushing in to indoors places, but am still avoiding them, and no visitors inside the house at all. I think the parts of the de shielding advice about the need to maintain social distancing rigidly (essentially moving from shield to lockdown rules - we remain with stricter advice than the general population)

So I might finally go and get my ankle sorted out, and will make the long-overdue trip to the bank to sort a couple of things in person. But I’m not flinging myself into other shops

I wonder if non-shielding households even realise there are normal, perfectly capable people who have never been in a shop during lockdown and would need to work out from scratch the dos and don’ts of queues and one way system?

Mindymomo · 09/04/2021 08:13

We as a family have been shielding due to vulnerable DH. But on the few occasions I have been in a shop, I literally cannot wait to get out again, even when I am nowhere near anyone, but I know I will be ok if I do things slowly. Where my son works they wear coloured bands, red for don’t come anywhere near, orange for keep your distance and green you can come near and stand close, but within rules. It works for them. My other son where he works they wear watches that bleep when anyone is within 2 metres, he has made it very clear to his colleagues to stay away from him, as they don’t seem to understand the isolation rules.

It’s going to take a while, but slowly does it. When I am out walking my dog, he knows now we cross the road when someone approaches.

Lalalablahblahblah · 09/04/2021 08:19

This reply has been withdrawn

Message from MNHQ: This post has been withdrawn

iVampire · 09/04/2021 08:28

Thank you @Lalalablahblahblah

But I would like to point out that the shielded population is very well clued in to the risks

I have to factor in, for example, the early findings that the first shot of the jab produces intended immune response in only 8-13% of recipients after 3-5 weeks.

Following the governments published advice to us is not a sign of anxiety, but it is quite a change in the level of what is allowed for in the advice,

And it is still advised avoid going inside anywhere unless it’s necessary.

The rates need to be lower before we move our next notch.

When you are immune suppressed, you know that you might be more likely to catch it and more likely to be very ill with it, I am glad your DSis is well, but those with my co-morbidity have the worse outcomes (about a third of us admitted to hospital do not come out alive)

FuzzyPuffling · 09/04/2021 08:28

The problem with looking at the stats is that the messaging received for the past year is all "get CV and die". It just isn't the same as for the non shielding population, for whom the message has been " you'll be ok... everyone who dies has underlying health conditions".
And the less you go out, the less inclined you are to go out and the more difficult it becomes.

I have absolutely no idea what happens in supermarkets now! ( But hurrah for Tesco who have been great at online deliveries)

And hurrah for a choir I used to be in before I moved house, who got the technology to do live recordings and asked me to rejoin. That's been a lifesaver.

tobee · 09/04/2021 16:02

So on Tuesday night I finally moved back to my bedroom with DH. I've been down stairs on a blow up bed since a week before lockdown 1. DH is cev. He has had to go out though as needs in centre dialysis 3 x a week, but also on immunosuppressants following a kidney transplant that has failed. I also had to occasionally go to the hospital to pick up his meds when there was a delivery problem.

I chose Tuesday as it was 3 weeks since my jab so it seemed like a good time. I hugged dh for the first time in over a year. But it didn't feel how I imagined. I perched on the edge of the bed all night. Grin

Been reminiscing about first shielding period when DH wasn't allowed to go out to exercise, he spent most of his time in the upstairs part of the house and we didn't eat together. Until one warm evening last year when we all ate outside; him at a separate table Grin.

To add to the mix, two adult dc living at home. Shielding too. Ds (21) is desperate to go out and properly see friends. Sad Trying to help him as friends live all over the country and he doesn't drive.

My head hurts constantly trying to think of the safest way of doing things. The risk/benefit involved.

tobee · 09/04/2021 16:05

It is weird the way shielding has kind of protected us from things like negotiating the supermarket, buses etc. Quite easy to forget it's happening for a while.

FuzzyPuffling · 09/04/2021 16:33

Ah tobee how enormously tough. I hear you.

SpringSquirrels · 09/04/2021 16:44

tobee It sounds like your family has had it very tough.
March last year was unbearable for me. My mother died and my son who was living at home had to move out because he worked in a front line job. Nothing could be as bad as those first weeks.
DH is over 70 and so the two of us shielded with the help of Tescos and local farm shop and bakers who deliver. We are lucky to live in the country so I have been out walking all the way through.

I went out last summer as soon as shielding paused so I did get used to shopping.
I started shielding again in November because of frightening rates of covid locally.
I tested negative for antibodies 6 weeks after my first dose but thankfully positive after ten weeks. 2nd dose due soon. Younger DS has been home to visit because he lives alone and is vaccinated. Older DC is a teacher and so it's outdoors only.
I went into Aldi today and scooted back out with next to nothing. Too many people.

tobee · 09/04/2021 17:05

How many of us have been shielding? And how many in households of shielding? We've all of us got these stories. Sad

tobee · 09/04/2021 17:06

So sorry about your mother @SpringSquirrels

Original poster
OhYouBadBadKitten · 09/04/2021 19:05

I am sorry about your Mum SpringSquirrels.

OP posts:
FuzzyPuffling · 09/04/2021 21:03

Tomorrow I am going to the beach for a run about with my DD1, whom I haven't seen for months! This is good.

tobee · 09/04/2021 23:16

@FuzzyPuffling

Tomorrow I am going to the beach for a run about with my DD1, whom I haven't seen for months! This is good.
👍
finished31 · 09/04/2021 23:50

Thank you for starting this thread.

I also agree we have been forgotten and unless you are immunosuppressed then you will never really understand what we are going through.

I've had a organ transplant and it's still very scary to me. After looking a studies were vaccines are showing 17-31% effectiveness I won't be jumping to go sit inside a pub when it's open.

Stay safe! x

Beebityboo · 10/04/2021 08:20

I attempted B&M last week but ended up having a panic attack. There is so much I want to do but I'm just so bloody overwhelmed by everything, and a part of me is so scared of another wave/lockdown that I don't want to "enjoy" life again, because I couldn't cope with losing it again, if that makes sense. I have to get a bus everywhere too which makes it all feel harder.

2020fuckoff · 10/04/2021 08:26

I've been shielding during each lockdown, but as soon as the shielding period ended it was straight back to work for me, in a school.

Some people who've had to shield don't get to choose to take things slowly, we just have to get back on with life

Original poster
OhYouBadBadKitten · 10/04/2021 08:39

How did you cope with it 2020? I realise I've been fortunate in being able to do all my work online, though its been very lonely as a result.

OP posts:
Original poster
OhYouBadBadKitten · 10/04/2021 08:41

Beebity. Flowers it does make sense. I cant bear the idea of us going through all that again.

OP posts:
Copperblack · 10/04/2021 08:45

My daughter has been shielding. On 1st April we went to our local parade of shops, bought a pastie and sat on a bench to eat it in the cold. We both cried. She hasn’t ventured out again yet, but has enjoyed seeing her brother in the garden. The changes are all happening so fast for shoulders ( and for me, no shielding but having to be very careful)

Swipe left for the next trending thread