Does anyone feel as if they’ve become ‘institutionalised’

[Toomanymuslins]

I know it’s completely the wrong term. But things like shopping and eating out, trips to the zoo and swimming, seem like another world.

I’m just used to it now. It’s become normal.

Is it just me?

I know what you mean @tootyfruitypickle. I like to live spontaneously as well.

I'm desperate to get out but I also find it hard to imagine; I was reading a novel set in the 1920s the other week and it really struck me that the freedom to go wherever you wanted at any time felt just as outdated as the outdoor toilets and cloche hats. Not sure I can fully visualise life without COVID restrictions any more.

I actually can't stand going out and being told what to do all the time, so haven't done much. Restaurants have been ok. It's the smaller shops where you get chased round by assistant with hand sanitiser that I can't be doing with. I just want to mooch without being told off I'll be carrying on with online shopping until that stops !

I actually can't stand going out and being told what to do all the time, so haven't done much

I’m very much like this. Have a distinct anti-authoritarian streak and really hate the loss of autonomy that has come with all the covid regulations, many of which seem completely pointless if not counter-productive.

Went for my first covid jab yesterday and it was just constant barked instructions: ‘Queue here, Stand on the X, Sanitise your hands, Sit down here; Move 2cm this way’. Every single one grated on me - I felt like a sheep being herded through a sheep dip.

I used to love mooching round the shops and rummaging in the bargain bucket. It's no fun anymore.

@TempsPerdu I had always been somewhat of a free speech absolutist but didn't know QUITE how much I cared about civil liberties until the pandemic and discovered my own latent "anti-authoritarian" streak. I just can't stand being herded or nagged or yelled at, I know that's maybe childish and we're literally in a glooooobal pandemic but it just grates on me and stresses me out.

@pucelleauxblanchesmains It’s just the total loss of perspective or consideration of any factors other than Covid.

We visited our local RHS garden last weekend. Had to pre-book and weather wasn’t that great so relatively few visitors - by 4pm it was pretty much deserted. When DD3 announced she needed the loo, DP carried her back round the garden to the toilets, but went the wrong way round the complicated one-way system as she wouldn’t have made it there otherwise. Approaching the toilets he was yelled at by an elderly lady, who waved her stick at him and said he was risking everyone’s lives by going the wrong way (she and DP were the only people in the area at this point). When DP asked what she would rather have him do, she said he should just let DD wet herself.

I’m afraid at this point DP told her where she could put her stick.

I will be coming out of this very much changed also, mostly because my parents died (not covid) and my long term relationship is about to end.
My entire life may change in many ways, regarding work, people and dreams.

How much of that I can put down to covid im not entirely certain, but I can say wholeheartedly that covid had set me back, a long way.

I recall the early months, I was so fed up and disturbed by this new way of being that I found it hard to watch film or tv that was from 'before'. Because it hurt too much to watch a world I had loved, for all it's faults, taken away from me.

I got over that soon after, then went on to hide in it. I just got stuck in watching regular series and films from before, read more books, made new artwork, and at one point taking long breaks form consuming news (never a bad thing!).

Now, my life is about to alter anyway, I am terrified and excited. My partner loved the whole thing - it has enabled his tendency to hide from the world, to compound his depression and has catapulted him into what I can only describe as internet addiction. He is so zoned out when not working (WFH) that he barely has anything to say. I wouldn't say covid has caused us to deteriorate, but it has helped to accelerate the END.

Myself, I would love to get back to the plans I had pre-covid. I do not want to accept living in fear of my world and this who populate it.
I am increasingly disturbed by the growing polarity of 'left and right', how people are so ready to tear into each other over even the slightest variation in opinion. The internet has enlarged this potential, so a good long break from the screen sounds good to me!

I’m a first year BSc university student (mature) and I’m actually going into uni via train next week for the first time. I’ve never met my fellow students. I’m excited and anxious. I haven’t been on a train since September! Actual face to face conversations!

I feel extremely lucky that this isn’t my first degree and I’ve had the freshers fair/week experience etc before. All virtual has been crap and I really feel for the younger ones. Saved a fortune in travel though and it’s been great for childcare.

Yes.

I hate it, but I simply cannot actively hate it every minute of every day or I would go insane.

I get what you mean, but I’m the opposite of institutionalised (I think!) and am champing at the bit, planning to do LOTS of sport (every day, like I used to), see friends (not just for muddy walks), and travel to my home country and finally see my parents again

I still can’t believe we’ll have freedom for long, am expecting more lockdowns soon (variants, vaccine blockades, nhs forcing us in lockdown for next winter as we’ll still have covid + flu will be back)

So am hoping to enjoy the (possibly brief) spell of freedom we’ll have as much as I can

I think I’ll only be able to believe lockdowns are behind us when I see it.

Maybe that “negative” view (all my life I’ve been a pragmatist, an optimist even) is the damage lockdown has caused my mind....

I think a lot of us will be somewhat damaged, psychologically, but not in a way that can’t be overcome with time

Ha! I have observed some interesting stuff regarding how the people I know have changed because of covid, too!

My partner developed a very sanctimonious attitude, his face has even altered, so used to pursing his lips in indignation and rolling his eyes at this that and the other. even his neck looks different because of the new facial expressions, sort of a self righteous tripling of the chin so that the actual distinction between neck and head disappears.
he's a handsome guy, usually!

My sister became more laid back, as opposed to her extremely tense and terrified former self. She has developed a fair bit of courage and determination that is quite new to her.

My aunt, a super sweet, tolerant, careful woman became a total flouter, almost infecting everyone at my mum's funeral. She is still the same person, to my eyes, but I was not expecting the response she gave.

My closest friend, not remotely a covid-denier, has become darkened by the growing authoritarianism and wants to run screaming through the mountains. She was previously quite agoraphobic and now can't stand being indoors.

Myself, I am more aware of what I want, I am terrified of our divisive politics, people seem so angry and intolerant, its just depressing. I have been busying myself trying to absorb more 'good stuff', like avoiding most of the media and not coming on Internet forums too often!

@LetSophieGo your partner sounds very prissy and unappealing, is that the relationship that’s coming to an end you mentioned in the post before?

I am very sorry you lost your parents, I imagine that even without covid this would have been a difficult year for you

@TempsPerdu

No, can’t identify with this at all personally. I can’t wait to get back out there; have felt trapped and claustrophobic all year. We’ve already advance booked a whole load of stuff that’s opening after April 12th.

@lljkk’s post about alienation encompasses it more for me. Wouldn’t say I’m scared of the police as such, although I now trust them must less, but I too have realised how few people share my values (the Brexit vote already hinted at this but covid has brought it right out in the open).

I’m very liberal and very much ‘live and let live’ and ‘each to their own’, but it seems many people would be accepting of if not entirely fully with full-on authoritarianism, and I find that pretty terrifying.

100%agree with this. It's this that has terrified me most about the whole thing

Yes, me, absolutely. My family are talking about the party we're going to have as soon as we can. I honestly can't think of anything worse than a house full of people who I have to socialise with!!

@TempsPerdu reflecting on it, it's all the rules and judgements that have bothered me far more than lockdown. I wasn't keen on the schools being off as I need my space but the rest of it was ok. But yes I cannot stand having orders barked at me. In the summer me and dd went to a park that had very SHOUTY one way signs and we took great delight in going the wrong way .

But I'm the one that can't even cope with airport parking and end up doing it all wrong. I just can't follow instructions even when I have a will to!

Something I really need was out of stock on my delivery, and I was worried about how long it would take for me to get hold of it.

DH suggested.... dun dun duuuhn.... going to a shop to get it!
So we did. It's been so long that we didn't think about it being Saturday afternoon, huge queues everywhere.

We've forgotten how to shop. Totally institutionalised.

Yes but also no.

Some days I'm so angry at the situation I'm in and am desperate to escape the monotony. I need to go out, have fun, see people and I'm raging at the idea that this is life now.

Then there is a bit of me that's like meh, this is life now, need to get used to it.

Whatever happens nobody will stop me socialising. Even if it continues to be illegal I don't care, I will have people over and I will go and visit them.

@ChocOrange1

I guess maybe people feel like this if they live in an area of constant lockdowns or have been shielding. I went to the pub in December, took my kids to the farm and a theme park, so it doesn't seem that long ago.

I took my kids to a trampoline park with a friend and then we went for lunch on Christmas Eve, so not that long I guess though it seems ages!

I have slowed life down to match the long days at home. Now I'm used to it can't imagine idea of clock watching again needing to be somewhere at an arranged time.
Can't imagine going out again! So used to going to bed early and the few drinks I have are like night caps make me sleepy.

Oh what about unexpected visitors, have got used to knowing no one will call, house not in order for visitors with everyone at home most of the time

I’ve stopped liking so many people. Cheering for restrictions, happy to allow the government to tell them who can use the loo in their house. The pointless rules that make no difference to the spread, the inability to look at evidence and decide on risk. I now see how totalitarian societies emerge and it scares me. People are enjoying this abs I don’t understand it.

It's brought out some very ugly behaviour in some.

"I'm scared the very keen people will bully others who are not so ready.

I dont know where you're getting this. I'm desperate to get out and about again but I dont care what other people do. If they don't feel safe to meet up I'm absolutely fine with that"

Maybe you are, or maybe you're one of the ones that reply "oh really, you don't want to come? (Wide eyed surprise). Ok, that's fine, each to their own (shrug, eye roll)." In a way you would never have done pre-covid.

I've watched it happen in groups making bookings for the summer. It's subtle but it's there.