Does anyone feel as if they’ve become ‘institutionalised’

[Toomanymuslins]

I know it’s completely the wrong term. But things like shopping and eating out, trips to the zoo and swimming, seem like another world.

I’m just used to it now. It’s become normal.

Is it just me?

You can see it on here clearly. One poster today complained about two police in their vehicle not wearing masks properly. Another complained about a family visiting their mother. WTF? It's been a year. The vulnerable, elderly and most over 50 have been vaccinated. People! Stop the curtain twitching craziness.

Bully them how?
I will be doing all the things I enjoy, but I’m not bothered what others do.
If you’ve got people in your life who you feel will bully you into things, you probably need to reassess the relationship with them.

I don't really feel worried myself specfically, but it is a fact that there are a lot of twats in this world. It is startng at work already - shall we have a work night out on x date etc etc. Clearly only half the team are in that mood - but social pressure is real at the best of times and this year I think it will be worse than ever because those who enjoy a lot of socialising have been deprived for ages.

Basically we are going to see loads of conflict/tension as people are all different and this is going to be a weird phase of life.

I fear I am beginning to feel this way and it worries me that the longer it goes on, the harder I will find it to get back to normal.

No. I haven't got used to it and I will never accept this life as normal. There might not be a lot I can do, but I don't have to accept it.

I do wonder what it will feel like to get invited to a wedding again!

If you sent out 100 wedding invitations in 2019, you might expect a 90% acceptance - could that be generally lower from now? Maybe it won't matter.

I was wondering how businesses like theatres will manage - will those very keen to go out perhaps go more often? Because some people won't go back quickly even when they can.

I think some things will be changed forever tbh, but we can't predict yet what they are. But if softplay were to get 20% fewer customers, it will shut as it won't be viable long term.

There will be a lot of political pressure pushing people to go out because of the economic impact if we don't.

I'm also bored but somehow lethargic & not sure I can be bothered to arrange things when we can. It will seem weird inviting people round.
Adult DD is the same, she is quite an introvert & I wonder if she will just carry on sitting in her room :(

Feel like you @TempsPerdu. I've hated the past year and can't wait for everything to open again. I'm champing at the bit to get back to my ballet class, hairdresser, running group, restaurants, etc.

At the same time I've been shocked by how easily large sectors of the population seem to have welcomed the huge constraints on our civil liberties. I've chafed against every restriction (but not broken them as I'm not an arsehole and haven't wished them to go on even one day longer than 'necessary').

I'm also worried by the extent to which my DF and his wife have been both terrified and institutionalised. They have both had their first vaccine and there are virtually no cases of Covid in their rural part of the country, but DF, who was playing golf and going into shops last summer now won't even go to the garden centre and is so cautious about even seeing us or my siblings and families that he won't entertain the idea until they are 3 weeks post vaccine #2. I worry they'll never live a full and fearless life again

I worry they'll never live a full and fearless life again

I think many people will take a little time over getting back in the swing, so fear now might not mean fear forever. People weren't like this before, they don't have to stay this way. But collectively we have to be patient I think, it has been a weird time (and isn't yet over).

the high street is still busy

Where are you @Horehound? All non essential shops are closed in England.

I don’t understand people who feel guilt tripped into seeing people they don’t want to see either. And how come all these introverts are so popular and have so many friends, given that they say that they don’t really like socialising?

@RampantIvy

the high street is still busy

Where are you @Horehound? All non essential shops are closed in England.

I don’t understand people who feel guilt tripped into seeing people they don’t want to see either. And how come all these introverts are so popular and have so many friends, given that they say that they don’t really like socialising?

Our high street has been moderately busy throughout and probably half the businesses are open. When you consider that any shop selling food, newsagents, estate agents, pharmacies, banks, post offices, opticians, dentists, doctors' surgeries, coffee shops, cafes, bakeries and restaurants doing takeaway have been able to open, it's not surprising.

I think institutionalised is quite apt in some ways in that everything you do is controlled by numerous sometimes arbitrary rules and rituals and in the sense that we have been shut in and our worlds have got smaller. I won't personally find it difficult to go back to normality though. I actually think most people will adapt to normal life again fairly quickly and easily - once they go back to a cafe etc. and nothing happens they will go again and then the perceived risk will be gone, though there will be a significant minority who will find it more difficult.

@TempsPerdu and @zafferana

I'm very much in this camp too and one of the harder things about this year for me has been seeing how easily people can accept very basic liberties like the ability to leave your house or see your family being removed for a perceived increase in security. Almost anything can now be done in the name of covid - the level of justification required to introduce a new restrictions now seems to be "it might help a bit and we need to be on the safe side" rather than a need for any robust evidence. Before this, perhaps naively, I did not see my belief that personal freedom is important in itself or that there are some rights which are so fundamental that the government should never take them away as particularly controversial. I also understand now how authoritarian regimes took over in the past and it has been sobering to see that mankind has not advanced beyond those regimes.

I am part of the problem in that although I will speak up on here and in real life to a few people I'm close to, I am reluctant to do so more publicly because it could affect my job and friendships. I would say that I am a lawyer and many of my colleagues share some of my concerns about how liberties have been removed, the proportionality of the response and how the covid laws are drafted and are being policed. Forums for lawyers are similar so I don't think it's just my colleagues. So in that sense I have a small community who at least understand where I am coming from even if some of them agree that some restrictions are necessary.

And how come all these introverts are so popular and have so many friends, given that they say that they don’t really like socialising? introverts are just as likely to be nice people as extroverts

@lljkk

I just feel very alienated. I kind of knew I had different values before, but my peace with that has been badly unmade. My trust in the goodness of people is very low. People are very happy to snitch on you for vague shit and to cast around words like 'Covidiots', "twats", "selfish" or insist on "natural consequences" on the job security of people who wish to exert bodily autonomy. The love of Authoritarianism is enormous. I am now very aware of my fear of police. My values are indeed wildly wildly different from everyone else.

I feel the same too.

Not sure about institutionalised but I certainly have settled into the lifestyle we now have. I'm a really social person normally. Now that there is light at the end of the tunnel, the only thing I am getting excited about is a haircut.
Friends are making plans for meeting up and I'm thinking it's soooo much easier just to be at home. DH excited about getting back to restaurants and I feel like it's so much effort getting ready and getting to the restaurant vs having a takeaway delivered.

I am hoping that once things open up I'll feel differently but I'd never, ever have imagined writing the above a year or even 6 months ago

I'm in the zoo animal pacing the cage camp, but the memories of the wild are feeling vague and in that way I do feel institutionalised.

My life structure was stripped away in March 20, so I've had a very lonely (yet never actually alone either) year. I have got on and made the most of opportunties as they arose, before they disappeared again.

What I did find by the autumn was that everything felt very precarious. I ran a half marathon, but due to the county it was held in changing tier, it didn't definitely have the go ahead until the last few days, and then it was the night before where I really had to accept it was happening. Then the actual race atmosphere was lacking because of the Covid Secure measures and so many people took the virtual option. I'm glad I did it, but I really missed the excitement of anticipation. I've got things starting next week, but it feels surreal. It's just a fact and I hope that I can start feeling again, insted of an ongoing boredom of existing in an ongoing monotonous moment in a void of time. My sense of time, next week, last week, dates is particularly screwed up at present.

April 12th is the biggest stage in getting my life recognisable again. I found 2020 hideous anyway, but the winter has been fucking hard to endure.

I will not allow myself to accept this way of life.

As soon as anything is open we have it booked. Outside table for ten on April 12th, flight to USA still booked for July (unlikely to happen but I won’t give up yet), mask only worn for the shortest time when I have to, NEVER mask outside.

I will not roll over and give up my life.

Where did I say I was!?

@Toomanymuslins
Sorry who are you replying to?

I feel quite scared at how so many others have become institutionalised. A few weeks ago people were gasping at the idea of vaccine passports for the pub, but now those same people are just accepting that will be the case. I'm also amazed more isnt being made out of the fact the countries where lockdowns have taken place dont have better death rates than those that didnt have lockdowns. But we seem to just accept lockdowns are needed. Same with masks - Texas covid rates are no worse since lifting the mandate, but people were calling Texans murderers a few weeks ago.

My feeling is that as the government take the piss more and more with their power and the fear of Covid that more people will push back. The inquiry into covid deaths will also hopefully make is realise it's not as deadly as it's been made out to be...

I know what you mean OP. It all feels very very strange indeed.

Like others, going forward I'm more wary of people and came away from Facebook at the beginning of this lockdown because the scrapping between usually fairly chilled people was at a terrifying level. I only post here because it's anonymous. I have a currently closed shop, so am well known in the community. I became fearful of saying anything about anything is case of reprisal, so decided to STFU, even though I know the virus is real and am not an anti-vaxxer, however I'm not a curtain twitcher, try not to be judgemental and am very concerned about how lockdown and government measures will change things possibly permanently going forward.

The greater good argument comes without nuance but with a huge slice of authoritarianism, and it makes me very uncomfortable.If a bill van be passed in Scotland that puts you at risk of prosecution for hate speech inside your own home, and our right to protest is set to be reduced with an increase in police powers likely to remain in place going forward, it sets alarm bells ringing.

The last time pubs were open, we supported our local a few times. It is a pub we have frequented often in the last four years. The LLs and doorstaff are considered friends. The weirdness of still having to show our passports, give our details, follow one way systems, not talk to people we knew at other tables sucked the pleasure out of it - there was no relaxing to be had. So we only went about four times. It was awful watching the staff all strung out, terrified that a report of non-compliance might lead to legal ramifications, as they are a small independent pub, not a big chain with a robust legal team behind them. And our town is rife with prejudice against small independent outlets, especially "alternative" ones.

We know aloy of musicians and performers - their lives are in tatters.

There may be some exuberance when people venture out, but I suspect for many it will feel like emerging into the world from a bunker with the knowledge that the minefield still exists - and navigating it will come with a slice of moral judgement is the bunker still looks attractive.

Goddess knows I want to be positive, but each bit of progress comes with a new set of problems to take into account - everything is framed by the context of Covid

@millenialblush

I feel quite scared at how so many others have become institutionalised. A few weeks ago people were gasping at the idea of vaccine passports for the pub, but now those same people are just accepting that will be the case. I'm also amazed more isnt being made out of the fact the countries where lockdowns have taken place dont have better death rates than those that didnt have lockdowns. But we seem to just accept lockdowns are needed. Same with masks - Texas covid rates are no worse since lifting the mandate, but people were calling Texans murderers a few weeks ago.

My feeling is that as the government take the piss more and more with their power and the fear of Covid that more people will push back. The inquiry into covid deaths will also hopefully make is realise it's not as deadly as it's been made out to be...

^This.

And I’m definitely in the ‘wild animal in a zoo’ camp. I feel trapped and I can’t believe that so many people seem happy to keep building more and more walls around themselves.

[quote TinaYouFatLard]@Toomanymuslins
Sorry who are you replying to?[/quote]
To your post ...

I also had a lockdown baby and absolutely want to be out there doing everything I did with my other 2. However, I must admit that I will miss having all this time to spend at home with family. Pre lockdown we had very very busy lives. Both working parents, 3 kids now and 2 dogs. Life was so busy hardly saw our parents who live nearby. Probably spoke to mine more in lockdown than before. That’s one thing intend to change once lockdown opens. I’m going to make sure I try my best to spend more time with family and friends.
I definitely would like to continue seeing some social distancing, reduced numbers of people at any one given time in places like supermarkets and to continue with increased hygiene measures such as hands washing in schools etc.

@Cripesitsthegasman19

No. I won't accept this shit life as being normal.

Same here! This is just existing not living.... I want to see people, want to go places, want to touch people, want to enjoy ourselves, wamt to smiles, but mostly want my son to live in a world where it's not frowned upon to play and get him educated properly and not live in a world full of debt from paying for all this shit!