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Original poster

Be honest - what would you ACTUALLY do in this situation?

134 replies

ChampagneTastes · 25/03/2021 10:02

Friends with a lovely, sensible mum at the primary school where DS goes. This morning she told me they'd got there early because her DS had been coughing all night. I gently suggested that perhaps she should get him tested and she said it was fine because her other son had had a cold the previous week. I pointed out that Covid seems to present differently all over the place and it might be worth checking. But I didn't do anything else. She's lovely, has been one of the more cautious parents at the school and is generally sensible but I can't help feeling she's got this one wrong and I don't know if I should do something. And if I should - what? The boy has gone into school today.

OP posts:
JM10 · 25/03/2021 10:05

Honestly, I'd do nothing. If the child has been coughing all day he'll be coughing at school too and they'll send him home.

Like you, I'd have suggested maybe he shouldn't be there, but I wouldn't have pushed it when she disagreed. I'd feel like I should tell school, but I probably wouldn't.

landofgiants · 25/03/2021 10:09

I think I would have told her that if it had been my DS, I would have kept him off. Not much else you can do.

MRex · 25/03/2021 10:13

A phlegmy cold does lead to coughs; an occasional cough clearing the throat is normal in that situation and you could understand her position if that was the case, but coughing all night is less usual and unfortunately needs a test. Tell the school but ask them to keep your name out of it and let them decide what to do. They can wear a mask and ask the child if he's been coughing, then call her and send him home to get tested.

Bigshoelittleshoe · 25/03/2021 10:15

I’d probably mind my own business!

cadburyegg · 25/03/2021 10:16

You've done all you can do. It's got to be a "continuous cough" for it to be a symptom of covid I think? So if he's coughing a lot at school they will send him home anyway

Jenasaurus · 25/03/2021 10:29

@cadburyegg

You've done all you can do. It's got to be a "continuous cough" for it to be a symptom of covid I think? So if he's coughing a lot at school they will send him home anyway
Wont it be too late by then and have possibly spread to other children and teachers?
Jenasaurus · 25/03/2021 10:30

@Bigshoelittleshoe

I’d probably mind my own business!
If her DC catch if from him then it is OPS business
skeggycaggy · 25/03/2021 10:31

Where I live the Covid rate is 0.0051%. I wouldn’t do anything.

JanFebAnyMonth · 25/03/2021 10:33

Difficult, but I'd prompt school to ask him how he was feeling etc (hoping for him to mention the night maybe) - there's the risk to any vulnerable school staff and also any vulnerable parents or indeed children.

HazeyJaneII · 25/03/2021 10:36

If it was at ds's school, If have to turn round and take ds home...call school and explain why. He's shielding at the moment, and back in after Easter, but I will keep him home if there are children with symptoms in his bubble (and hope they are sent home for a test asap!)

MrsHuntGeneNotJeremyObviously · 25/03/2021 10:37

She ought to have kept him off if only to prevent teachers/other parents from the stress of having to worry about whether they are being exposed to covid.
I don't think you can do anything - if the parent hadn't told you, you'd be none the wiser and the child would be in school. He could be one of a number of kids in school who really shouldn't be. I think you have to trust the mum to know whether her child just has a cold and trust the school to send him home if there's an issue.
The only alternative is to tell the school and there's no guarantee they will send him home and the mum will know it came from you.

XiCi · 25/03/2021 10:38

Where I live the Covid rate is 0.0051%. I wouldn’t do anything
Its really low where I am too but I still managed to catch it last week! I really can't abide stupid selfish people like this. After all this time how hard is it to understand that if you have symptoms of covid you isolate and test. I would have told her she needed to take him home. Complete idiot

MarshaBradyo · 25/03/2021 10:39

I don’t think you can do anything. He’s in school now and if he shows symptoms then they’ll notice.

You can’t really ring up and say child x has been coughing all night.

OverTheRainbow88 · 25/03/2021 10:43

I would call the school and relay what was said.

XiCi · 25/03/2021 10:43

You can’t really ring up and say child x has been coughing all night
If I had a vulnerable child in that school I would call the school without a shadow of a doubt and say I was concerned as I was told he had been coughing all night. Its putting teachers at risk too. Dsis is a teacher and has a rare lung condition that would make getting covid really risky. And then you have arseholes like this sending their kids in with a cough.

HazeyJaneII · 25/03/2021 10:48

You can’t really ring up and say child x has been coughing all night.
I would ring up and explain why my own ds wasn't coming in though...so I sort of would say 'child x's mum said he'd been up coughing all night'

ekidmxcl · 25/03/2021 10:50

You can’t do anything.

Apart from accept that millions of us are halfwits.

MarshaBradyo · 25/03/2021 10:50

@HazeyJaneII

You can’t really ring up and say child x has been coughing all night. I would ring up and explain why my own ds wasn't coming in though...so I sort of would say 'child x's mum said he'd been up coughing all night'
A better way to do it.

I didn’t get that op had a vulnerable dc, but I can see you might do this if you did.

MRex · 25/03/2021 10:50

Why does it matter if you have a vulnerable child @XiCi? I would assume in any school there might be someone vulnerable and just let the school office take it up accordingly.

DenisetheMenace · 25/03/2021 10:54

MarshaBradyo

I don’t think you can do anything. He’s in school now and if he shows symptoms then they’ll notice.

You can’t really ring up and say child x has been coughing all night.“

Why? If the child had vomitted outside the school gates and still gone in, would you not tell the office? What’s the difference? Atm coughing all night could have far more serious implications.

MarshaBradyo · 25/03/2021 10:55

@DenisetheMenace

MarshaBradyo

I don’t think you can do anything. He’s in school now and if he shows symptoms then they’ll notice.

You can’t really ring up and say child x has been coughing all night.“

Why? If the child had vomitted outside the school gates and still gone in, would you not tell the office? What’s the difference? Atm coughing all night could have far more serious implications.

No I wouldn’t. Why is it up to me to deal with other dc health?

It’s between school, student and parents.

MarshaBradyo · 25/03/2021 10:56

I’m surprised at all these phoners

Apart from anyone who does as Hazey does. I can see how that could work.

HolmeH · 25/03/2021 10:58

See, I have a child who since she was a baby will cough all night long when she has a cold but not a single cough in the day. She’s doing it at the mo, she’s a bit snotty & literally coughs all blooming night. Not a hint of a cough during the day. I’ve not tested her, she’s been doing this for the last 4 years, it’s perfectly normal for her. We’ve been to docs about it several times, we think it’s because she suffers from enlarged tonsils and when snot hits, the reaction is to cough. During the day, there isn’t snot dripping down onto them (grim description 😂).

If she was constantly coughing all day too, that’d be different. I would test. But it’s clear my DD doesn’t have a cough as such. It’s her night time nasal drip issues. Daytime, no coughing.

What would I do in your situ. Nothing at all. I’d have probably made a light joke about testing & then I’d go home and carry on my life.

WeIcomeToGilead · 25/03/2021 10:58

I’ve kept mine off yesterday for exactly this reason

Today neither of us can breathe properly and we’re awaiting results

So glad I was sensible 😇, I’d feel terrible if the test were positive

DenisetheMenace · 25/03/2021 11:01

No I wouldn’t. Why is it up to me to deal with other dc health?

It’s between school, student and parents“

Oh, so I’ve completely misunderstood the “all in this together” messaging of the past year. If another parent is too careless to think of other people, damned right I’d let school know. However “lovely” they might be 🙄

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