Be honest - what would you ACTUALLY do in this situation?

[ChampagneTastes]

Friends with a lovely, sensible mum at the primary school where DS goes. This morning she told me they'd got there early because her DS had been coughing all night. I gently suggested that perhaps she should get him tested and she said it was fine because her other son had had a cold the previous week. I pointed out that Covid seems to present differently all over the place and it might be worth checking. But I didn't do anything else. She's lovely, has been one of the more cautious parents at the school and is generally sensible but I can't help feeling she's got this one wrong and I don't know if I should do something. And if I should - what? The boy has gone into school today.

I would light-heartedly say 'you can't send him in coughing in these times, he'll be a social pariah!' and hope she realised it's not socially acceptable. Then I'd assume the teacher would notice pretty quickly and send him home.

No I still disagree.

You mean you think it is just curtain twitching?

I haven't actually said what I would do in this situation, just that I don't think people who would phone must be nasty curtain twitchers. I think they would do it because they prioritise actually avoiding covid spreading higher than you do, that's all. You put privacy higher. That's an observation that seems to be backed up by what you've just said, not a judgment. Maybe just own it as your opinion (but allow people who disagree to do so without labeling them as curtain twitchers?)

In the nursery case, I'm not sure. I would have been avoiding nursery if at all possible anyway. If I had no choice but to use it, I would have already had to accept the relatively high chance of my child catching covid. If I'd been mulling pulling my child out, then learning that was the staff approach would probably have made me do it. Avoiding nursery just on that one day would perhaps feel a bit pointless though.

@DontFaffAboutWills

No I still disagree.

You mean you think it is just curtain twitching?

I haven't actually said what I would do in this situation, just that I don't think people who would phone must be nasty curtain twitchers. I think they would do it because they prioritise actually avoiding covid spreading higher than you do, that's all. You put privacy higher. That's an observation that seems to be backed up by what you've just said, not a judgment. Maybe just own it as your opinion (but allow people who disagree to do so without labeling them as curtain twitchers?)

In the nursery case, I'm not sure. I would have been avoiding nursery if at all possible anyway. If I had no choice but to use it, I would have already had to accept the relatively high chance of my child catching covid. If I'd been mulling pulling my child out, then learning that was the staff approach would probably have made me do it. Avoiding nursery just on that one day would perhaps feel a bit pointless though.

No I probably won’t get how people can override privacy and become involved in a conversation about another child’s health.

On your idea that they are worried about Covid spreading particularly I think it’s more than worry about that as in some cases and posters have admitted they’d do it for a child throwing up etc

I think it’s a trait they have and I don’t. Although I’m sure given people mentioning the number of phone calls the school gets and the amount of posters who seem very keen to phone up someone else would do it.

Having said all that I understand more anyone with direct CEV of CV position. Not a position I’m in.

Funny the other day there was a thread with a parent cmplaing of cough etc and sent their child in everyone said report it to the school

this thread its all mind your own business-yes it could be a cold but it might be covid and then infect the whole class

I would phone the school but then I'm a teacher and we're exhausted from idiots sending pupils to school with 'just a little cough' and then taking out every child that sits around them for the next 2 weeks when the 'little cough' turns out to be Covid.

Given that a cough is not a typical sign of covid in children I would just leave it.

Unfortunately there's not much else you can do.
If child is coughing at school, they'll send him home. If he's not, then there's nothing the school can really do either.

@Hollyhead

Given that a cough is not a typical sign of covid in children I would just leave it.

We've had some with the cough but I do take your point. I would be cautious over sore throats, headaches, stomach upsets and and aches and pains based on our secondary pupils who have tested positive.

For a cough I might let it go. I've coughed twice today while wearing my mask and people have literally jumped out of my way. Who knew that was all I had to do to get some space!

That said, a friend sent her child in with Scarlet Fever so I went to the office and asked that it be looked into as I may have got it wrong. Child sent home.

As for people saying to mind your own business I really don't agree with it. I'm not saying you poke your nose in everywhere but nosey people do keep others a bit more accountable.

I'd have probably thought about punching some stupidity out of her to be honest.

Thankful that most shielding children have not actually returned to school but hope she doesn't pull that trick when they do.

@AllDoneIn

I would phone the school but then I'm a teacher and we're exhausted from idiots sending pupils to school with 'just a little cough' and then taking out every child that sits around them for the next 2 weeks when the 'little cough' turns out to be Covid.

I agree. When the child takes off their coat, hangs it up (having barged into every one in the cloakroom) walked through the classroom to wash their hands, said hello to a few friends, sat down in their seat, starts the activity we have to keep them occupied whilst all arrive and then tell you they've been coughing all night.

Then you have to find an adult to take them to the isolation room. Said adult needs to collect child's things. Child is now looking worried/anxious and your not supposed to touch them to reassure them while you wait for parents to come and collect.

All while greeting the rest of the class, trying not to let the children who sit next to the child worry and then get onto teaching. Then worry for the next 48hrs as to whether you've been exposed and are bringing it back home to your family.

So thanks to those parents who think "it's only a cough, I'll just send them in"

Of course if they have a known cough that they always have, that's different. It's a new cough we have to be careful of. Keep them at home and get them tested!

I'd do nothing. Not everything is bloody Covid.

On your idea that they are worried about Covid spreading particularly I think it’s more than worry about that as in some cases and posters have admitted they’d do it for a child throwing up etc

Or they think stopping a sickness bug from spreading is also important. It's not as life threatening, but the disruption can be huge (think about when it gets into hospitals). You might disagree of course.

I think it’s a trait they have and I don’t. Although I’m sure given people mentioning the number of phone calls the school gets and the amount of posters who seem very keen to phone up someone else would do it.

I think it's natural to assume everyone is working from the same underlying objective view of a situation, so differences in action must be due to people's different character traits. I think we all do that. I'm not sure we're right to though. I think you might be underestimating the degree to which different perceptions of the seriousness of covid spreading are relevant. I note you'll accept if someone is CEV as justification for calling - does that mean you accept feeling afraid of your individual CEV child catching covid as a reason to phone, but not feeling afraid of a general increase in covid cases, or your child's bubble popping, or anything like that? (You don't have to answer - I'm not trying to have an argument, I'm just interested.)

One of the hardest things about fighting this pandemic is that we all have to be inconsistent. On the one hand we have to learn to be fairly relaxed about the risk of catching covid, in order to send kids to school without going mad. On the other hand, for the good of the overall battle, we also have to behave as if we really care about the risk of covid spreading - so we're careful in other situations, and so we don't send our own children in ill. This forced inconsistency is not really natural or instinctive.

Don't do anything, people cough for all sorts of reasons.

Update: lovely mum (and she IS lovely): just messaged to say that she felt terrible that she hadn't thought and had taken him home again to do a LFT which came up negative.

I know that the consequences of getting this wrong can be bad but good people sometimes make poor decisions. There is a scary amount of venom on this thread (from both directions!)

@ChampagneTastes

Update: lovely mum (and she IS lovely): just messaged to say that she felt terrible that she hadn't thought and had taken him home again to do a LFT which came up negative.

I know that the consequences of getting this wrong can be bad but good people sometimes make poor decisions. There is a scary amount of venom on this thread (from both directions!)

Aaagh! An LFT is not an accurate way of testing for Covid if a child is symptomatic!

It's less venom from me, more sheer bloody terror of ds starting back to school after a year of shielding.

@AnaofBroceliande
I'd do nothing. Not everything is bloody Covid.
@jessstan2
Don't do anything, people cough for all sorts of reasons.

Yes, they do...and one of those reasons is bloody Covid, so keep child off, get test - sorted!

Dont it’s hard to say re CEV child as I don’t know exactly how I’d feel in same position. But I can see in that instance people will understandably feel very strongly and I can see why. I would likely be the same but not sure.

One thing for me is that I have to wait for the vaccine and I’ve accepted the small risk (for me) that goes with school. On cases rising. They will, although I’d quite like to get vaccine before they do, but yes as everything opens up cases will go up but not hospitalisation or deaths (one hopes and data looks good do far)

Also dc did have a cough and temp and I kept him home, tested negative. So it’s not that I’m for the it’s just a cough line. More that it’s my responsibility to do the right thing here.

[quote HazeyJaneII]@AnaofBroceliande
I'd do nothing. Not everything is bloody Covid.
@jessstan2
Don't do anything, people cough for all sorts of reasons.

Yes, they do...and one of those reasons is bloody Covid, so keep child off, get test - sorted![/quote]
Oh God really? I've never done one as my DS is primary aged - what's the point of them if they don't work!? (NB: I have mainly succeeded in following the rules thus far by refusing to leave the house so I am an absolute numpty myself when it comes to testing, remembering to wear a mask, etc - I know it's important but it just isn't on my radar as much as it would be if I were out and about every day).

I'd call the school and give them a heads up.

I'd do nothing. If the child seems stick and is continuously coughing the school will spot it.

@ChampagneTastes
The PCR test (for people with symptoms) are pretty accurate.
The LFT tests (not intended for people with symptoms or primary aged children) are a broad brush to try and get things open on a big scale - they have different purposes and different used.

If people aren't willing to do a PCR test on their child with symptoms they should do household isolation for 10 days.

School should not accept a negative LFT as proof a child doesn't have Covid.

Aaagh!
An LFT is not an accurate way of testing for Covid if a child is symptomatic!

I don't understand this? But I admit to not having read much about them. I thought they were designed to find asymptomatic cases but would also detect symptomatic cases. Maybe I am wrong. We had covid a few weeks ago. My son became symptomatic after me and we had a LFT in the house so I used it (also did PCR) and it came up positive

I'd report my concerns to the school.

It would be really unfair on my kids to be sent into isolation for the Easter Holidays - what little holiday there's left.

It's my kids who will end up being punished, so I would call the school.

OP you should contact the school.

The reason is if people take their kids to have Covid tests rather than having them at school and aim to get the first slot in the morning, they could have the test results back by the evening.

And for the person saying not everything is Covid - not it is not but if you have some of the symptoms of it is better to get tested every single time so if you have a more serious illness you don't get fobbed off.