Cannot get to sleep with school starting tomorrow

[AnxietyDrivingMyLife]

My daughter is in primary and I’m petrified about sending her. She is very keen and it’s important for her well-being so she is going in. I feel COVID is going to get us this time and feel very very scared. No family, no friends, no support here...I don’t know how we’ll cope if me and husband catch it at the same time.

The infection rate in primary kids is currently massively lower than it was before Christmas. If she was in then and you didn't catch it, then there's no reason to think that you are more likely to get it now when the infection rates are much lower.

Is this a health anxiety talking or genuine terror of Covid? If you allow yourself to think that most cases are like a bad cold it really shouldn’t be so scary.
If it’s something you can’t help worrying over that’s a different thing of course and health anxiety is awful .
I know the figures are scary and the news pushes that hugely but most cases are mild or moderate.
In my work force of nursing care homes 700 staff lots have had Covid including myself and no one hospitalised.
I felt like I had a bad cold and my DH was exhausted for two days but that was it.
Keep reminding yourself that it’s rare statistically to be very unwell.
I am asthmatic and overweight too and I didn’t even have the cough.
I’m not minimising the awful losses of course but it’s still very unlikely you will be severely poorly.

My daughter is year 2 so the top graph category- it’s reassuring to see both pre prep and prep are going down. Yes she was in before Christmas

It’s both- I’m terrified of COVID and I think I have health anxiety as well.

@AnxietyDrivingMyLife

It’s both- I’m terrified of COVID and I think I have health anxiety as well.

I would seek help. Your child needs to go to school and living in terror is not proportional and not a pleasant way for you to live either.

I 've insomnia as well.

@AnxietyDrivingMyLife

It’s both- I’m terrified of COVID and I think I have health anxiety as well.

First of all, this year has been dreadful. So many people now have developed or increased health anxiety. I am amazed I haven't suffered from it myself this year, as I can overthink at the best of times! I've had my moments.

You are such a decent mum sending her for her own sake.

My opinion is this is one day at a time. If you send her today, it doesn't mean you have to send her tomorrow or next week if cases in your area rise.

Of course you're nervous, there are a lot of covid deniers and a lot of really worried people. The sensible place is between the two - but it is natural to waver at times. Good luck

OP- if you are terrified of covid but are all under 50 & no health conditions than you 100% have health anxiety. It’s not normal to be scared witless of a virus that isn’t likely to cause any of you much harm. A tiny tiny amount of younger people become seriously ill. But of course if you watch the news or read mumsnet, you’ll only hear about the really sick ones & the ones who shout the loudest/blatantly are lying. Here’s some stats from worldometer re-covid round the world. 99.6% is mild. That isn’t remotely scary.

To be honest, with covid you could be surrounded by family & it makes no difference. If you’ve got it, no-one can help you anyway! We all had it back in December, it was tough all being poorly but the kids have had worse colds, as have I. A couple friends with young, infant school aged children had really bad cases, as in, it was like full on flu. They felt dreadful & could barely crawl out of bed. Their kids & them lived off sandwiches & soup and they basically just watched TV for the 7 days they were poorly. Not easy at all but you just get through these things as a parent. I had hyperemesis in my last pregnancy & was vomiting 30/40 times a day at my worst. I’d be bathing my kids and vomiting into the toilet next to the bath. It was hell on earth, literally the lowest I’ve ever ever been in my life but I’m still hear to tell the tale. You get through these things.

Take it a day at a time, stop reading mumsnet & watching the news for a bit maybe & seek help from your GP! 🧡

@HolmeH

I am not concerned about covid (had it, mild) but those are very crude stats you are quoting.

Dividing covid into 'death/hospitalisation' or 'nothing to worry about' is very unsophisticated, there's a lot more going on than that.

This is the safest time to send her in as everyone is fresh out of lockdown. No has been mixing (much).

@RosieLemonade

This is the safest time to send her in as everyone is fresh out of lockdown. No has been mixing (much).

Agree with this! I'm sending mine now and will see where the line goes.

Hi OP, I'm a Year 2 teacher. I totally understand your concerns and feelings around this, but you are doing the right thing sending her in. We have been working very hard in schools to make them as safe as we can...which is, of course, all we can do within the guidance. Nothing is guaranteed, obviously, but we have done so much to ensure things are as safe as they can be.

Please do try not to let your anxieties about this affect your daughter though. It's hard, I know, but we have some children in school at the moment who do have very anxious parents, and this has had a devastating affect on their children's mental health, making them hyper-anxious about everything, including their behaviour, social skills and their education.

It will be ok 💐

Is there @ChameleonClara ? What else is there to be worried about? All I need in life are reassuring stats that I’m very likely to not die or become seriously ill. I can deal with illness as home. How is that unsophisticated? I’m not dismissing health anxiety, post HG, I’m beyond terrified of vomiting. I had near organ failure, I tore my stomach lining & vomited blood for days on end. It was agony on another level & ive been left with lasting damage & chronic pain. But I’ve worked hard with a therapist to control the anxiety & it no longer dominates my life at all. My children go to nursery, I go out to eat (when I can obvs).. I acknowledge now that if I was to get sick, it wouldn’t be like it was when pregnant. It would be really unlikely to make me seriously ill. It would just be unpleasant but I would get better. It’s taken a lot of work to reach this point. I think those with health anxiety over covid need to, in the kindest sense, get help like I did 🤷🏼‍♀️

If a person went to their GP and said 'I feel concerned I might get long covid because between 10 and 20 percent of people do' the GP would not say they had health anxiety, they would say 'yes unfortunately that is a possibility, hopefully it wouldn't be a bad case'.

The worries many people have around covid are, actually, proportionate. It is a lot worse than flu for all age groups.

Many of the non-critical impacts have been minimised, for obvious reasons (the government have failed to protect the population so must pretend it doesn't matter), but if you think how much people wish to avoid e.g. Lyme disease - we are all at far higher risk of long covid than that. That is not health anxiety, that's just where we are in the UK.

Thank you @ChameleonClara I think you do understand where I’m at mentally- yes I do seem to have health anxiety but it’s not that which is driving this.

The response to this whole pandemic by the Uk government is not great- do this, don’t do that, or on semiconductor thoughts do the first thing etc

Leaving ‘save the nhs’ to one side- don’t think the bags coped many winters let alone a pandemic.

The general attitude of many people seem to ‘I’m bored of the pandemic can we move on now?’

Yes the school opening is based on stats around the effects on children however they can still transmit and that can be lethal to an adult

How ill I’ll be seems to be luck if the draw- statistically I’m at low risk however there are reports about the icu full of young healthy individuals-

Is the decision to open purely based on stats or is it a political and economic decision- it’s important to open up as cannot hide away however are we saying the nhs is ready to cope now?

If the data is suggesting that the vaccines are working- then wouldn’t it have been sensible to prioritise the teaching staff and then open the schools? So which one is it? Healthy people in icu but we’ll take a chance with the teachers/ parents as surely we can afford to lose some? Or when we say ‘healthy’ we are omitting issue like poor diet/obesity as that doesn’t look good for the government as opens up a whole can of worms around poverty and disparity in the society.

I’m very anxious, feel I’m waiting to fall ill and wide up in the hospital- I’m not from the UK so no family or friends here so it’s a lonely existence without thinking about die alone in a hospital.

She’s gone to school as it’s best for her and her mental health- my clocks started ticking, not sure how long it’ll be before I start panicking about a positive test.

It's so important for children to be in school. I'm glad you recognise this is an understandable health anxiety, you can seek support with that.

I am shielding group and my DC are returning to school. If I get covid and am hospitalised my DC would have no one local to care for them, especially as they'd be self isolating for first part.

It is what it is and we have To let our children live their lives, see their friends, regain that social interactions crucial to their development, and do practical hands on learning at school. Online learning is no substitute as it's all so theoretical when we know part of learning process is seeing, touching and participating.

I’m not disputing the fact that schools need to be opened- my daughter is in school right now. I’m back home and in a right mess.

I’m struggling to understand the points made in my earlier post- an in addition the fact that all age groups are going in all at once. Staggered would have made more sense

I understand that a staggered start would have made more sense, but there are so many things in place within schools to try and minimise the spread. Of course we tend to see things that could be done and are not, but there are so many risk assessments and mitigation in place at the moment.

I work in a school (secondary) and I didn't sleep either. Loads of people are feeling that way, but they key here is to try and manage anxiety, speak to the school, have a plan. You say that you are on your own and that makes you anxious, talk to the school about that. My husband is a primary school deputy Head Teacher and he regularly distributes food parcels for families in trouble, offers general support etc. Please speak to the school.

@Worknoplay thank you for being kind in your reply. I haven’t thought about taking to the school incase we both become ill. Maybe that’s an Avenue I can explore. The school are getting their best with the infection control and I’m so grateful to the teachers and all staff.

@AnxietyDrivingMyLife

I absolutely agree the government could have handled this better. All those points are true. It is so hard to feel safe when our governmenthave made so many errors.

I judged that in my opinion, today, in my area, it is safe enough for my kids to be in school.

My plan going forwards is to keep an eye on the data and rethink if necessary. Good luck with the anxiety .

I am a very practical person so I'm sorry if my advice will be practical:

• If you can afford it, buy an Oximeter. I've had covid (my husband caught it at school and gave it to me grrr). It's very reassuring to monitor oxigen level if you do get Covid.
• Have a couple of boxes of paracetamol, a hot water bottle ( I got the chills really badly and my feet were constantly cold!!)
• If you can, buy a couple of special toys or games for your DD, to open if she or you get covid, to distract her
• have a menu of super-easy to prepare meals, or prep meals to freeze. You could even get paper plates and utensils in case you don't want to do the washing up for a few days.
• Make sure you know where your thermometer is.
• I actually dug out my old and dusty baby monitor when one of my kids was ill with Covid, in case they'd feel really unwell during the night. It reassured me that I could hear them if they were sick (which can happen in some children). Fortunately he was unwell for just two days, and just had bad headaches and a bit of a temperature.

@Worknoplay

I am a very practical person so I'm sorry if my advice will be practical:

• If you can afford it, buy an Oximeter. I've had covid (my husband caught it at school and gave it to me grrr). It's very reassuring to monitor oxigen level if you do get Covid - *Done, purchased a o I meter not sure how accurate etc but have one*
• Have a couple of boxes of paracetamol, a hot water bottle ( I got the chills really badly and my feet were constantly cold!!)- *Brought 3 water bottles one for each and gave paracetamol etc*
• If you can, buy a couple of special toys or games for your DD, to open if she or you get covid, to distract her- *ordered on Amazon and on the way*
• have a menu of super-easy to prepare meals, or prep meals to freeze. You could even get paper plates and utensils in case you don't want to do the washing up for a few days.- * Been purchasing freezer food and will do so in the next couple of days as well*
• Make sure you know where your thermometer is.- *Done*
• I actually dug out my old and dusty baby monitor when one of my kids was ill with Covid, in case they'd feel really unwell during the night. It reassured me that I could hear them if they were sick (which can happen in some children) - *Don’t gave any baby stuff as I clear out everything every 6 months or so*

Pulse oximetry are good accurate indicators but not exact, if not used in bright sunlight, wearing nail varnish or moving around (stay still) and let it settle, with breathing exercises, observing it for 5+ mins- they tend to be + or - 2 accuracy.

You really only need a pulse ox if you have a lung condition like unstable asthma or COPD. Because if your blood oxygen sat levels are very low (hypoxemia is defined as below 90 in ABG) you get very breathless on talking which is a good indicator!! Paramedics and wards use them. But wards confirm by arterial blood gas (taking blood from your wrist and measuring oxygen sat levels from that)

Just thought I'd hop in there and say , because a hyperventilation anxiety episode could cause a low pulse ox for a bit but it will bounce back.

I think you are suffering with news and social media overload tbh. Turn your devices off and think about who around you currently has covid, how many of your friends and family have "woke up alone in hospital"? I'd bet not many. It can happen but it's so so unlikely given the current case numbers. The number of people in hospital is dropping steadily from the Jan peak. Patients admitted are also dropping steadily. Every day it becomes statistically less likely you will be one of them. And that chance was tiny to begin with. I prescribe you a week of no news or covid forums and I'm sure your anxiety will lessen.

Thank you @BeakyWinder - yes I’ve stopped all news forums, social media since last Friday- else o wouldn’t have been able to send her to school yesterday. I don’t have friends or family here so my only reference is work- no one off this week or last but then we are working from home.
I can see the levels are dropping in my area which is the little straw I’m clutching onto..I’m trying not to think about what may come in the next couple of days but prepping to be ill subconsciously- which is why I feel so anxious all the time