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Covid

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To not tell child they have covid

65 replies

OverTheRainbow88 · 20/02/2021 12:50

What do people think about not telling younger children they have covid? My son is 4, he’s quite sensitive; I’m sure I could keep him home and occupied for 10 days without him knowing why.

What do others think?

OP posts:
PotteringAlong · 20/02/2021 12:51

Why would you not just tell him the truth?

OverTheRainbow88 · 20/02/2021 13:06

He’s very sensitive and anxious. He still talks about our dog who died 2 years ago. He doesn’t like the idea of being ill or others ill, so I’m not sure he needs to know!!

OP posts:
OwlBasket · 20/02/2021 13:12

If he’s ill then he’ll surely notice that? It’d be dreadful to gaslight him that he isn’t when he can feel that he is. TBH I don’t think you have to name it by it’s name though, would you if it was norovirus? You do need to acknowledge that he has ‘a nasty virus’ and tell the truth if he asks if he has corona.

LouLou198 · 20/02/2021 13:12

DD had Covid a couple of months ago. She's 5. Despite us not really discussing Covid much or having the news on when she's about, she's is very aware of it, and has been very anxious at times. She has been at school throughout as we are both NHS, so I think all the constant hand sanitising and procedures in place at school hasn't helped with her anxiety. When she had Covid it was just like she had a cold, never complained of feeling particularly unwell, so we didn't see the point in causing any unnecessary worry and distress for her.

LIZS · 20/02/2021 13:42

Is he unwell? Presumably he was tested so is aware of it. Majority still get it only mildly or asymptomatically so you have an opportunity to put it into perspective.

MrBullinaChinaShop · 20/02/2021 13:51

Will he ask what the result of the test was? When my 4 year old was tested she kept asking if we knew the results yet (negative) so we’d have had to lie if it had been positive and we didn’t want her to know, which I wouldn’t have been comfortable with.

GiveMeNovocain · 20/02/2021 13:53

At 4 I'd do what I could to avoid worrying him. You can always tell him later if you need to.

unmumsymummy21 · 20/02/2021 13:55

I wouldn't tell him. There is no need. He's 4 years old. This is scary for adults.

MrBullinaChinaShop · 20/02/2021 14:04

Mine would also ask why we’re not going on our daily walk/bike ride/trip to the park etc so I’d have to lie if I kept it from her.

SmudgeButt · 20/02/2021 14:06

I'd not tell him if it's just going to make him upset. And later if he's anxious about Covid you can tell him "don't worry, you've already had it."

Cindy87 · 20/02/2021 14:07

My partner and I both had Covid and didn't tell our kids (4.5 and 2.5). They didn't actually question why we were staying in. They knew we were ill but we didn't actually name it, no reason to.

BlueTimes · 20/02/2021 14:07

If he is asymptomatic then I would just tell him that he needs to isolate because of the virus.

PolloDePrimavera · 20/02/2021 14:08

I'd tell him but gently, to help him ultimately build resilience. He'll connect that he got better from it.

SonnetForSpring · 20/02/2021 14:08

I think honesty is generally best. It isn't a serious illness for 4 year olds. Knowing he has had it and recovered fine may help him overcome obstacles and build resilience. Obviously, you know him best though Flowers

Northernsoullover · 20/02/2021 14:32

I was an anxious child. It certain wouldn't have built resilience! I don't like lying full stop but sometimes I think its the best option.

DinosaurDiana · 20/02/2021 14:35

I would tell him, honesty is best.

KettleWentBang · 20/02/2021 14:35

This is why there's so many sensitive snowflake kids around. Jeez just tell them the truth.

Munkeenut · 20/02/2021 14:39

Why would he be anxious about having covid?

amicissimma · 20/02/2021 14:42

I wasn't in the habit of telling my children the name of each virus as they had it. It was usually a case of 'poor you, you've got a nasty bug, let's do [soothing activity/snuggling] until you feel better'.

As it's in the news, if he's aware of Covid, it might be an idea to tell him when he's feeling better 'well at least you've had it and got it over with', much as I remember being told about measles, chicken pox, etc. (And, yes, some people get those more than once.)

OverTheRainbow88 · 20/02/2021 14:47

Luckily he’s feeling fine, minor cough- glad we tested; nearly didn’t!!!

The only thing is he’ll may find it weird is not going out; but it’s half term at the mo any way so maybe I’ll say it’s a 2 week one 😬!!

He’s used to having swabs; and nothing coming of it so he won’t ask.

OP posts:
Sittingonabench · 20/02/2021 14:57

Completely up to you but personally I would take this question as a kick start to addressing your real concern which appears to be health anxiety. I wouldn’t tell him he has Covid if it will distress him but explain most illnesses (including this one for him) are mild and are good for you as they developed your immune system.

MrBullinaChinaShop · 20/02/2021 16:43

@amicissimma

I wasn't in the habit of telling my children the name of each virus as they had it. It was usually a case of 'poor you, you've got a nasty bug, let's do [soothing activity/snuggling] until you feel better'.

As it's in the news, if he's aware of Covid, it might be an idea to tell him when he's feeling better 'well at least you've had it and got it over with', much as I remember being told about measles, chicken pox, etc. (And, yes, some people get those more than once.)

Interesting, thinking about it I do tell mine. At 5 and 4 they both had scarlet fever and I told them they had scarlet fever for example.
SeldomFollowedIt · 20/02/2021 16:48

Absolutely
No need to tell him at age 4.

SquishySquirmy · 20/02/2021 17:07

Depends on the child.
As for "why would he be anxious about Covid?" that's because, even if the parents have been relaxed and pragmatic, most children have still been exposed to very scary messages for almost a year now. They overhear news on the radio, they see signs on bus stops ("IF YOU GO OUT YOU WILL KILL PEOPLE"), they hear things in the playground, they are constantly reminded of socially distancing, handwashing, etc.

In fact the only way to get small kids to comply with (necessary) precautions is by constantly reminding them. Even if you do this very gently, they still absorb the message of "these rules and big changes are very important because of the virus". So is it any wonder that kids pick up on the fact that the covid is scary and dangerous?

Yes, they are unlikely to get very ill but it's hard to get that nuance across. Even when you do convince them kids are fine, they still worry about their parents!

Some children will take it all in their stride, others will feel very anxious. Not because they are wet or wimpy or because their parents are turning them into "snowflakes".
But because kids are different.

I wouldn't outright lie, but if the kid is going to be scared then I might try to avoid telling them immediately. Then mention when the isolation is nearly over that it was covid, but everyone in the family is fine etc.

I have been really emphasising to my dc that Covid "doesn't make kids very sick" for ages, but even so they were quite worried when they heard that some of their classmates had it (who were all fine, thank God).

nordica · 20/02/2021 17:10

Making it a secret is just going to send a message that there's something to be anxious about, isn't it? Rather than telling the truth so he can see it's a mild illness and nothing to worry about.