I'm scared of March, the anniversary...

[AnniversaryScaresMe]

Anyone else?
Something about it being a year, reliving the terrible moment we were all separated.
I live alone so it was horrendous.
I know it sounds ridiculous but somehow it feels like I'm going to have to go through it all again, and I just can't.

@AnniversaryScaresMe

Really struggling with this. Thought the thread about what you remember from this year would be interesting but just want to run away from it all now. This can't be real. I've lost everything worth living for.

Are any of the things worth living for going to still be there when restrictions lift?

If you can slightly alter your narrative in that things aren't lost they have just been stored away to bring out again in summer, that might help.

This is going to become a "my life is worse than yours..." The truth is that it gets better or you get used to it. I know that if either of my parents die I won't be able to see them, go to their funeral. M still haven't met my nephew (and my baby his cousin). My dad hasn't met his grandpa. They all leave abroad so chances are it's still a couple of years for us. I take like that for what it is, and just try to find happiness in this reality, which to be fair, there's plenty of it!

Perhaps you could suggest Hallmark produce cards?

I didn't remember the date until you mentioned it, I knew it was at some point in March. It is the date I get my second vaccine, so for me personally it will be a good day, one I am looking forward to.
It sounds as though you have done really well to get to this point, it doesn't sound suprising that you have reached peak pandemic fatigue, it has been like running a Marathon and there are only a few miles left to go, and you have hit the wall.

I know a bit what you mean. I too feel a bit trepidacious.
A lot of people, myself included, caught covid around the two weeks preceding the March lockdown.
Mid March last year is a time that many people will never forget, and it is an anniversary for many.

You will be going through the time with many others op. Which hopefully will help.

@C8H10N4O2

Perhaps you could suggest Hallmark produce cards?

I wonder why it is on MN people like to just make digs at people when they're struggling.

Have you ever heard the phrase "If you don't have anything nice to say, say nothing at all"? I'd consider applying that here @C8H10N4O2 .. because whilst sometimes I guess it could be easy to forget but behind every username is a human being....

[quote ATieLikeRichardGere]The word trauma can be overused in general, but with COVID I think a lot of us have literally experienced trauma and it’s a helpful way of understanding it. I found this helpful: www.helpguide.org/articles/ptsd-trauma/coping-with-emotional-and-psychological-trauma.htm[/quote]
Yes. And many of us still have Long Covid, so mid March is a daily reminder even now.

I hope you have support @AnniversaryScaresMe around the date.
I think it may be a time of grieving for many, for what has been lost since then. Grief for loved ones gone, grief for health changed, including non covid health issues, grief for change of income, change of schooling, change of relationships, etc.

The whole way through this I've been telling myself everything will be better in six weeks. That's how I got through it I guess.

The drama 😳

Not as such, but am very conscious that the day after the announcement was
meant to be DC3's 8th birthday party - his actual birthday was day 2 of the school closure.

He has really, really struggled with Lockdown and I really feel for him, as it's going to be his second birthday like that.

In other respects, I can see much to be hopeful about for the rest of the year - try to focus on that. Hopefully we will be in a much better place this time next year.

I get where you’re coming from. There’s something about moving into the second year that seems very significant. For the first few months we kept hearing “it’ll be over by the autumn!”, “we’ll get through this!” and now although we have the vaccine roll-out the press is full of doom and gloom regarding new variants. It’s relentless.

When I think of life pre-Covid it feels almost carefree and naive. And although I know this will not continue forever, I feel like a sense of security might be gone forever.

Happy, happy, happy! 😂

A lot of people, myself included, caught covid around the two weeks preceding the March lockdown.

I was one of those. I think. My gp described it as a viral infection with symptoms consistent with coronavirus. There were no readily available tests then. I was quite ill for several weeks and missed the start of lockdown.

To be honest, until I read this thread, I hadn't given it any thought and I'll probably forget about it as soon as this thread drops off the front page.

Have you ever heard the phrase "If you don't have anything nice to say, say nothing at all"?

Yes because the most helpful thing we can all do is encourage each other to catastrophise a crisis and wring our hands even further with absurdly over dramatised phrasing.

Perhaps should should address your "be nice" bollocks to people constantly drumming up the fear and anxiety and focusing people on the worst of the situation all the time.

Where on earth are you in the UK (presumably) even if CEV and shielding that you have been separated from the entire world for a year?
Maybe, in the kindest possible way, you should hang about less in this topic or even hide it if you are really this anxious.

Well said C8.

It wasn't that traumatic in March as we had no idea that it was going to be for as long as this. I remember thinking 'two whole weeks off school'.

Life does change. Obviously this is a bit of a corker or a change but so are many events that happen to people. Natural disasters, wars, terrorist attacks, people's houses burning down and loosing absolutely everything.

I agree with C8 too.

@C8H10N4O2

Have you ever heard the phrase "If you don't have anything nice to say, say nothing at all"?

Yes because the most helpful thing we can all do is encourage each other to catastrophise a crisis and wring our hands even further with absurdly over dramatised phrasing.

Perhaps should should address your "be nice" bollocks to people constantly drumming up the fear and anxiety and focusing people on the worst of the situation all the time.

Oh yes, I'd forgotten we had a binary choice between telling OP "you're right, everything is terrible" and being pointlessly snarky to someone who's already struggling. Thanks for the reminder.

That's your opinion @SavoyCabbage.

For many reasons I found March 2020 to be the worst of all of the periods throughout the last year. That is also my opinion and I realise others will feel differently.

The events of the past year have affected different people differently. If you are coping well, that’s great. But everyone has different life circumstances and different psychology and some people are experiencing a very difficult time, which could be akin to a natural disaster etc. It’s not about being nice. Some people are very much not ok, whether you think they should be ok or not.

The date 23rd March will be seared in my memory forever too, not had a particularly hard time personally but by god it's been an awful year for so many. That thread about what do you remember was/is very moving. Hugs to you OP and ignore the meanies xx

RoseAndRose
Because you are catastrophising to a level that sounds just plain wrong, and likely to feed a cycle of negativity.

I've mainly been trying not to think about it and just carry on. These feelings of terror and hopelessness keep bubbling up though.

For example, your relationships have not been 'torn away', they are strong and enduring and it might not be too long before you can start seeing some people face to face, as well as unlimited contact by phone, online or even by old fashioned but surprisingly lovely letter.

They were torn away though. The closeness and feeling like family (although not a family I've ever had) have gone. The worst is the kids I was close to/looked after regularly. One was so young she didn't know who I was by the time I saw her again. And because of vulnerable person in wider family I don't see her anymore as too young to distance. The others I have seen a few times (4 I think, all year) but it used to be at least twice a week, babysitting overnight etc, and now we have to stay 2m apart and currently not able to meet at all because of numbers. It is of great heartbreak to me that I am not a mother, and it was good putting that energy into helping single friends with their kids. Awful seeing closest friend struggle and not be allowed to help (gone bananas over covid and refuses childcare or support bubble because of perceived risk as DC go to ex's already).

You do not need to be 'imprisoned' - even the CEV are allowed out for daily exercise and to meet one person whilst they exercise.

I might as well have been imprisoned in the first lockdown. Seeing PEOPLE is far more important than physically leaving the house, although I agree that's important. I've been out every day and exercise frequently in general. Maybe it was a poor choice of word but that feeling of being shut in on my own, just as I most wanted to hold loved ones close, was horrific. It should never have been illegal for people living alone to meet with another human. Normally I'm good in a crisis, even if it's just to comfort people. But this was horrendous, all this energy wanting to help and yet separated from loved ones, felt so helpless. (I did join local volunteers food delivery etc).

The world could look very different by March. Dwelling on a date beyond that is just stoking up something that does not exist yet - you are creating a fiction of it that exists only in your thoughts. Noticing those thoughts when they happen, and consciously thinking that's ages away, stop and think of something else can do a lot to break this cycle of negativity

But what I've lost isn't coming back. There are other opportunities I've lost forever too, not just people. It took me a long time to try to scrape together a life worth living from the wreckage of mine. I was just starting to get there, then all swept away.

And it's NOT a fiction. The worry over the future date might be, but I've been trying to be fine all year and it sort of feels like once its been a year I have to face that it all really happened and I don't have any strength left.

But it did really happen... Yet you are talking like it's just "negative thoughts". It isn't, it really happened. Actually just writing this makes me realise something. A year ago if you'd told me what the rules would be I wouldn't have believed you. I would have thought it a human rights abuse. I feel scared, unsafe. I'm living in a world where the government can put law abiding citizens into solitary confinement. That's fucking terrifying. I couldn't escape it. I couldn't escape what they did. Nothing feels safe, knowing they can take everything, take away your loved ones.

I'm sorry, I'm not trying to be contrary! Just explain.
Writing this reply has made me realise what's really getting to me, it's that feeling that nothing is safe, because they were allowed to take it all away.

OP I relate very much and you’ve expressed that so well. I’m really really sorry.

OP whenever I am faced with a situation where I feel anxious I try to be pro active instead of reactive and think of things that I can do to make myself feel better.

Could you do zoom calls to the children you used to babysit for? How about reading them a bedtime story over zoom every night, or doing a craft activity with them depending on their age.

You're allowed to meet up with a friend for exercise, so could you meet up with a friend for a walk?

Be kind to yourself, if it was a friend in your situation what advice would you give them.

I can empathise. I am not dreading it as such, but... It will be a year we will have lost and so much suffering over that time too. A lot of people have been through hell. I guess the one year anniversary really emphasises the magnitude of it, so I do get your feelings.

However, we are in a much better position than 6 mo this ago. We have multiple vaccines that are being rolled out really fast and the numbers are falling. There is cause for hope - hold on to that.

@SavoyCabbage

It wasn't that traumatic in March as we had no idea that it was going to be for as long as this. I remember thinking 'two whole weeks off school'.

Life does change. Obviously this is a bit of a corker or a change but so are many events that happen to people. Natural disasters, wars, terrorist attacks, people's houses burning down and loosing absolutely everything.

I agree with C8 too.

That's really made me think. I DID find it extremely traumatic in March. In a day to day sense I'm finding it easier now it's rumbling on. But that initial bit was horrible for various reasons. Being separated from people just as you want to take care of them. The fact that it was for an indefinite period of time. There was a sort of slow dying of hope in me during the first few months. I really tried to believe it wouldn't be long and my past experiences were making me catastrophise. But the reality has been worse than I thought in terms of time. I know they said 3 weeks initially, but I knew it would be another 3 at least. 6 weeks seems like nothing now...!! Makes me wonder how it would have been if somehow we'd been able to know how long, what rules when, and so on. If I'd known who I would and wouldn't see and for how long.