Which specific moment from this will stay with you forever?

[RosieLemonade]

Positive or negative.

Losing everything that made my life worth living on March 23rd. Being forced into solitary confinement at the same time.
I'd already been through a lot in life and knew to value people. It's profoundly disturbed me.

Driving down an eerily empty motorway on my own with regular illuminated signs stating Stay Home. Save Lives. Protect the NHS. Those empty supermarket shelves in the early days and the fear in peoples eyes.

Pleading with Sainsbury to put me on their vulnerable list, and the joy when they did.

Postponing my big holiday for a year.

Sitting in my garden with a friend - in masks.

The sorrow when yet another friend died.

The relief when I got my first jab.

@RosieLemonade

Positive or negative.

Me losing my job as a result of my sector closing overnight, with no prospect of it opening properly in any kind of foreseeable future.

My children potentially losing their home, in addition to having lost their education.

Watching a video on Twitter purporting to be from Wuhan province, in which soldiers boarded up the door of a residential property with one of those metal security doors, whilst the occupants screamed and hammered the door from the inside. That was horrifying.

Taking DD to the park after pulling her out of nursery early, and the park being entirely empty. I knew it was going to be our last time for a while so on the way home we went to Starbucks and had a cake. She played with the toys in the basket, can't even imagine any of that now.

Arguing with my DP because the neighbours were having work done, builders coming in and out, and DP telling me I'd overreacted and everyone except me was carrying on as normal. I felt like I was going insane at that point. (The builder came down with COVID shortly afterwards and nearly died).

Wild swimming for the first time, entirely as a result of there being no swimming pools.

Delivering food to my friend who had COVID and lived alone. I wore a mask up five flights of stairs, dropped the food off outside her door and could hear her crying inside.

Bizarrely the night where Mikel Arteta tested positive for Covid. DH was already living away as we knew by that time DS would be adversely impacted and DH was frontline. We are huge arsenal fans and bizarrely for me seeing this news made it seem real. Nearly a year on, DS being CEV, closure of schools (I'm a deputy head)and DH living away more than home has all been mad. This was the moment, seeing it at about 4am after working till late and fretful sleeping, is madly the moment I knew it was going to be terrible.

Nomination for classics please-these stories need to be preserved for posterity.
For me: the sadness for the kids friends in Y6 and Y11last year missing their milestones.
Seeing my kids quickly become shadows of their former selves with each lockdown.
A weird euphoria on seeing my mum after months, from across the drive so I could give her better food than her online, very limited, delivery. She was so chuffed for strawberries and good teacakes! Shouting like a lunatic to her elderly neighbours that I wasn't going in, lest they think we were rule breakers...
Clapping a neighbours funeral car at the undertakers request. Her relatives walking behind profusely thanking people for coming outside.
Being the only person to represent my entire family at a funeral all of whom were closer to the sadly departed person but not allowed to travel.
The sight of my big sister on the drive unexpectedly on arriving home from work, when it was permitted, dissolving into tears.

If we didn't truly know what love was before, we certainly do now.

I remember hearing on the news that 20,000 people might die from Covid and being horrified.

I also remember sitting up until midnight trying to get a supermarket delivery slot and wiping tears away when I couldnt get one. DS1 is on the extremely vulnerable list and I was terrified of going to the supermarket. I worried about food a lot during the first lockdown.

The other one is when DS2 came home from Uni to spend the first lockdown at home, that sheer relief that he was home and the lengths we went to to keep him and DS1 apart while he isolated. Constantly cleaning the bathroom and wiping door handles and light switches.

Negatives:-
Fear of the unknown
Worry over going to the supermarket
Worry about being around others when pregnant

Positives:-
Parents learning how to FaceTime to see DD
Wfh meaning dh and I saw DDs first steps, heard first words
Falling pregnant and being able to wfh away from potential risks
Realising how much family means

Becoming everyone's Zoom Master/expert!

Talking to my mum every day on Facetime (we should have done this before).

How awful people have been to us. We’re in a rural area and constant rule breaking, throwing bags of rubbish everywhere, nappies, bbqs and tents. Just ruined our area, leave gates open so whole load of cows nearly got hit by traffic. Shouting at us, been spat at twice. Had them scream “everyone can come here” today but I just lost a friend to COVID and we’re both under 40. I’m past thinking anyone decent beyond my friends are out there. There must be lots but all we see are abusive people. My weekend it this, every weekend, for a year now. Illegal camping, illegal motor bikes, at night all day, we never have privacy or peace. Had more threats to me than ever, called a bitch twice last week for very politely asking people to make sure they kept distance from us while we did works to house. So tired. We lost lots of friends to COVID now and these lot just come here and party and think its like a non COVID place they piss about in. Police don’t care and say well people can travel... no?! I am shattered. There’s no respite. I miss my friend and am really hurting, and have no peace

BoJo in intensive care. I hate the man, I think he’s despicable, but I thought that he was going to die and that felt like the end of the world. I remember being in the garden (I was potting seedlings) and listening to Radio 4 and on PM they played ‘Here Comes the Sun’ by the Beatles because it’s his favourite song. I, the anti Tory who hates Johnson and everything he stands for, stood in my shed, soil under my fingernails, and I sobbed. I’ll never forget it.

Looking out of the window on Mother's Day and at the house opposite where an elderly lady lives alone and seeing her grown up children waving at her through the window. I couldn't stop crying at such a sad sight.

Going to see my parents just before lockdown was announced and my dad starting to cry as we said goodbye, we knew life would change after this. I've never seen my dad cry before.

To end on a positive: the lovely acts of kindness and coming together of communities.

Life won't ever be the same, I know I won't take things for granted ever again.

Sausage Crush
I am so very sorry for the loss of your son. I cannot imagine your pain. I hope you have plenty of support 💐

I’m sorry, I haven’t seen a friend in ages because we’re rural and all we see are abusive people. We’ve had so much awful behaviour, assaults, just awful and threats - and from all sorts, all these people throwing Waitrose rubbish everywhere and beer cans. There are truly awful people in all walks of life, I’ve never seen so many of them - they’re all I see. Every weekend, all year. Just scummy people who don’t care and lash out and trash the area

The last day of school last March, wondering how on earth the world had come to this and how to explain to my young DC that school wouldn't be like normal again (they went back to the building the next week as I am a nurse but it wasn't anything like school had been before).

Walking home from work last spring through the city centre in the dark at about 9pm. It was like the zombie apocalypse, completely empty.

DC1's 9th birthday last April. Me wondering how on earth to make a birthday party with just the 4 of us and not able to go anywhere, so sad for her, then several months later when she told me 'coronavirus ruined everything except my birthday, it was the best birthday ever!'

In a soft play late Feb, talking to friends about whether we were starting to feel a bit worried about coming to that sort of place because of the virus (my view was no!)

At the time of lockdown 1 I was 8 weeks pregnant and colleagues didn't know. I remember thinking wow if this does last 12 weeks like they're saying, they will get a shock when I rock back up 20 weeks pregnant! I miscarried that pregnancy and am now pregnant again due this April. I've not been back to the office this whole time.

The lockdown miscarriage was such a weird and awful time. Discovered it at a scan by myself which we drove to on completely empty roads, later at home was having some complications with it and 111 sent an ambulance, felt completely surreal seeing the paramedics coming into the house in full PPE, had to stay in the hospital by myself, MIL came to the house to help with childcare while I was in hospital and DH was keyworking, we had a weird feeling of doing something "illegal" by having her, though we didn't have a choice

A close relative died and I watched the funeral online

I think dandelion clocks will always remind me of lockdown 1, so many walks with DD around the same local places which were full of them

Feeling a bit illicit whenever I even went for a drive to the shop or something during early lockdown 1

The absolute joy of playgrounds reopening

I can't wait to be able to live as normal again

Oh positives -

My mum had a big 60th birthday party planned but obviously that wasn’t allowed in the end. Restrictions were relaxed the week before her birthday and we drove the 300 miles to see her. I hadn’t told DS, but she was waiting for us on her drive when we pulled up and before we even turned into it, DS was shouting her name, had unbuckled his car seat straps and started to open the door before I’d stopped the car. He leapt into her arms and she sobbed.

We live in a tourist hotspot and never normally get our village to ourselves in good weather. That first lockdown was glorious. We’ve got lakes, mountains, rivers, hills, all from our doorstep, and we felt so shielded and lucky and protected.

We had restrictions for longer than England, here in Wales, and the first time we were allowed to travel for a distance of up to five miles, I took DS to one of our favourite places. It’s only three miles down the world but it felt terrifying and so, so amazing.

Performing in an orchestral concert on March 14th where our usual sell out audience (mostly the grey pound) was only half full as some had decided not to come. All of us in the orchestra knowing that it would be our last concert for a long time and making sure we savored every second of the music, many of us were in tears at the end of the concert. Miss it so much.

Dp coming in to tell me and DD "the virus has arrived here!" And we all made daft "woooooooooh" noises and rolled our eyes.
That would have been end of January, the Chinese tourists who were our first cases here in Italy.

Telling my teenage students not to be silly and freaky about catching it.

Our schools closing on 4th March. For a week. And opening up slowly, now.

The newsflash press conference on 9th March when PM Conte told us we were henceforth locked down. And me thinking "I need to message the kids" and spending the evening talking with my 10 classes.

The seemingly never-ending "special" newsflashes with the Italian PM telling us there were going to be more restrictions.

Having people I'd not been in contact with for decades messaging me on FB to see if I was OK.

Working in a different office than my usual place of work due to training, then being told that my office had closed with immediate effect and nobody could go in the building again. The surreal feeling we all had after being told that from that moment certain members of the team would not be allowed back to work at all. Then being split into separate teams and not seeing half my colleagues for many months. Being the only person in the new office and nothing working at all. Realised later this was due to the immense demand on,the system as everyone else was trying to work remotely and it causing everything to crash. The phones ringing and ringing, colleagues trying to message me to see what was happening. I couldn't even access the printer, emails or work chat. Standing alone in the office thinking WTF .

Positive: How fresh and clean it smelt outside last April/May. How the sky looked so much bluer. So much less pollution because most of the world was locked down. I remember thinking how horrible it is for us all but what a win that was for nature.

Negative: The huge explosion. Barely even got covid out of the news. The footage of that, I will never forget, my heart broke for those people.
It's stuck there along with many other harrowing scenes from the news over the years.

Surreal... When I told my DP that we should start to think about collecting more food in and he laughed at me
When I told my DP that they would would shut the borders and stop air travel and he laughed at me
He’s not a knob, it was just so unbelievable at the time.
Working in a supermarket for years and seeing it completely bare, we walked round when we’d shut not really understanding what we were seeing.
Negatives... Giving birth to DS in December 2020, DP only just made it in as they were so short staffed I got a student midwife on her first week and didn’t believe I was in active labour until 20 minutes before he was born.
DS being admitted to hospital having stopped breathing then starting fitting. DP and DD not allowed in so basically locked in a room on the ward
DP being called in for an hour when DS was put into critical care on a ventilator... they were so strict I thought they’d called him in because he wasn’t going to survive
Being diagnosed with PND due to trauma with no outside support
Positives.... my mum being my support bubble
DP work being amazing and understanding and letting him flexi work where needed to support me
DM getting her first vaccine last week.
Getting close to my Dsis through text as we don’t normally have that sort of relationship

Positives are my baby shower in July I never thought I would be able to have one, my baby being born and DH being able to be there for much longer than I thought thanks to a very kind midwife and a quiet recovery ward that day. Family and friends coming over to meet the baby again I was terrified this wouldn’t be able to happen. 2 UK holidays.

Negatives everything else. I get an almost panic attack when I think about April/May last year and when I see photos I had taken in our garden or on our walks I feel sick. I have never been afraid of covid but as a social person with a very full and busy life the slower pace and lockdowns has been horrendous. It wouldn’t surprise me if a lot of people develop PTSD from this time.

So interesting to read all these posts. Although we are still very much 'in it', it's somehow comforting to see some of these experiences becoming memories of the past.

A few things stick in my head from the first lockdown, I remember being very unsettled by the empty shelves, even though I am usually very level headed and knew it would be OK. I was unnerved. I stood in a very very long, socially distanced queue outside Boots to collect my son's medication. Everyone stood quietly and awkwardly. It hit me that this was so very serious.

One major high point was getting a notification on my phone at 7am one morning that the first vaccine had been approved by the regulator. I've had my first dose now (front line worker). So grateful to have hope.