I can't support my best friend because of this rubbish

[Thatsmycupoftea]

Hi

Just a moan here to be honest. Nothing i can do.

I'm in a bubble with my parent because I have mental health issues. I see them once every 2 weeks for emotional support. Don't have any practical support but that's another thread.

Anyway my best friend of 20 years has been going through a difficult time. She found out last week that her husband of 15 years has been having an affair and he has been very abusive to her for a while. Shes now alone with her dc.

We speak on the phone. I'm trying to support her but she needs a hug. She needs face to face love and support. She needs to come to my house and cry and vent. But this bloody pandemic won't let that happen and I feel so lost and sad and a huge let down. I know people are dying and I follow the rules. I'm a key worker so I have had the jab. So has she. That makes it worse in a way. I want to hug my best friend while she goes through the worst time in her life.

This is awful.

Why not just see her? What purpose are you serving by letting someone you love suffer?

If you’ve both been tucked away then v low risk? If you work in people facing jobs then prob not wise?

No purpose but its the rules isn't it and we both work with people.

Just see her? I don't know why you wouldn't to be honest.

I would go see her to be honest. I would view it as supporting the vulnerable.

Just see her? I don't know why you wouldn't to be honest.

Exactly. The ‘rules’ do not take into consideration this awful situation your friend is in. Why follow them without question when you know she needs you?

You need to go and see her in the capacity of supporting someone vulnerable.

You are allowed to provide support in this situation. Always have been. See your friend.

It's allowed. You're providing support to a vulnerable person.

Also it's the right thing to do, the kind, loving, decent, good, wise, etc. Thing.

It’s a really difficult time to go through major life upheavals unrelated to covid.

That said, and I know she’s your best friend, but is her circle so small that she truly only has you? If so then I would definitely say expand your bubble, but only after ensuring your parents are happy to be exposed by proxy.

Go and see her, she obviously needs the support. I would if I had a friend in that situation.

Go see her

I agree with PPs go see her.

Yup, once again, supporting the vulnerable is allowed. Just go and see her or invite her over.

You’re allowed 1 support bubble AND 1 care bubble. From what I’ve read you only have 1 bubble, a support bubble as you live alone. Just form a care bubble with your friend. Mental health reasons are an accepted reason for a care bubble.

It isn't the rules. As said people are allowed a care and support bubble. People are repeating that all sorts are against the rules, as they were first time around, when they aren't.

Just go see her. Sounds like she needs it. Everyone seems to be doing as they please regardless so may as well join them.

I'm sticking to guidelines as my DC have vunerable grandparents but I do understand and no longer care that others have different opinions and will act differently.

Gosh, just see her - I wouldn't think twice.

What’s a care bubble? Is this new?

Letting the government dictate to whether you can support a friend in need? Just because it’s the “rules” doesn’t mean it’s right for every situation. You are an adult make an informed rational decision taking into account the risks/rewards. You know how we made every decision pre 2020 before we had to get permission of Boris and co

If someone is in distress then they can recieve support.

I'm glad my friend let me in last year when I was at a stage of random sobbing. It was far too wet to do the legal thing of sitting in their garden and it was the first meaningful contact with anyone beyond DH, my 7 and my 9yos in 3 months at that point. That night did me a lot of good.

Sometimes you just can't sibstitute seeing someone in person.

Doesnt she have other friends and family

@Lemons1571

What’s a care bubble? Is this new?

Pretty sure there is no such thing as a care bubble. But you are allowed to leave your home to provide care for the vulnerable and this would come under that.

My close friend lost her husband to Covid last April. She has 4 children. I am not in her support bubble as I am in my mums who is 76. Sometimes she just needs a shoulder to cry on and a hug and nothing would stop me being there for her. I’d say do what your friend needs right now and be there for her!