I can't support my best friend because of this rubbish

[Thatsmycupoftea]

Hi

Just a moan here to be honest. Nothing i can do.

I'm in a bubble with my parent because I have mental health issues. I see them once every 2 weeks for emotional support. Don't have any practical support but that's another thread.

Anyway my best friend of 20 years has been going through a difficult time. She found out last week that her husband of 15 years has been having an affair and he has been very abusive to her for a while. Shes now alone with her dc.

We speak on the phone. I'm trying to support her but she needs a hug. She needs face to face love and support. She needs to come to my house and cry and vent. But this bloody pandemic won't let that happen and I feel so lost and sad and a huge let down. I know people are dying and I follow the rules. I'm a key worker so I have had the jab. So has she. That makes it worse in a way. I want to hug my best friend while she goes through the worst time in her life.

This is awful.

@Katie517

Letting the government dictate to whether you can support a friend in need? Just because it’s the “rules” doesn’t mean it’s right for every situation. You are an adult make an informed rational decision taking into account the risks/rewards. You know how we made every decision pre 2020 before we had to get permission of Boris and co

Exactly this

Just go, you’ve been vaccinated. She needs support. It’s not like you’re planning a house party. These are our lives, they don’t belong to the NHS or the government.

Yes there is such a thing as a care bubble. Read here for the exemption:
www.homecare.co.uk/advice/what-is-a-care-bubble

Plus all the rules are at the website I linked. A quick definition is below:

“Care bubbles have been allowed since 22 September 2020. The proper term, care exemption, was introduced by the Government to allow people leniency on some lockdown rules in order to provide care for people in other households. The move came after many people struggled with isolation and loneliness in the first UK lockdown, with symptoms of mental health conditions and illnesses such as dementia worsening. Learn More”

How far away is she? In the autumn (aware different rules then) I saw a friend who was struggling. We went for a walk outside and ate in our cars with the windows open.

Go see your friend, I wouldn't think twice.

My goodness, I’m a rule follower generally but

a) the rules would probably let you do this as you’d be caring for a vulnerable person
b) you’re both lower risk from each other now you’ve had the vaccine

Go to her.

Your friend is recovering from domestic abuse. She is vulnerable. I don't think you would be breaking any rules by going to visit her. At the very least, you could meet outdoors for a walk and a coffee. It sounds like it would be of huge benefit to both of you.

Is there we've got to as a society. A friend in need and we don't go to them because someone tells us we shouldn't.

Bring back common sense.

Thanks I do have common sense.....I hope. I was actually worried about the fine as I can't afford it. Its very confusing with constant rule changes. Of course I want to support my friend. I did think to just go ahead but I hate the thought of being looked down on and labeled a covidiot or whatever. As silly as that sounds this is how this whole situation has made me feel especially with my own mental health being so bad (which is a direct result of the first lockdown).

I was never a rule follower in life but I just felt so conflicted with this. A friend of my dc almost died of a complication from covid and he was fit and well before. Its scared me.

Anyway my friend came round and had lunch and spent the day here. She will be coming for dinner next week too. She seems ok considering.