If you lost someone before Covid times

[pawsies]

Do you ever wonder what they would have made of all of this?

My dad was very intelligent. I wonder what his input would have been sometimes.

He was a keen traveller, always getting on planes for work purposes. I think it would have affected him badly from this perspective.

Yes I do also.

Yes, well, not so much wonder ands think how they would have struggled and would all of us in the family.

I'm quite glad I don't have to deal with my mother through this...

My relative in a care home for their last few years. It would have been devastating for noone to be allowed to visit.

I saw a very eloquent pair of relatives on Tv arguing that they are in effect carers who visit daily and should be allowed in which I had to agree with.

Dh said about this the other day his GF passed away end of 2019.hes of hated this. He would no way of kept away from seeing family.

My mother died in 2003. She would have found COVID utterly terrifying, sorry to say.

My still alive dad has been pretty miserable about lack of social contact. Thank goodness he's had 2 jabs now (outside UK) & even been offered some work.

My father was a GP - he would have just got on with it. He worked all hours as it was - called out in the middle of the night, etc. My mother would not have liked her activities curtailed but would have accepted that she had to stay at home until vaccinated.

I'm frequently grateful that a family member who had terminal lung cancer died before covid. The thought of him being isolated from those who loved him when he needed and wanted us most makes me glad we had the time with him right until the end. My heart breaks for those who have and are going through tough times.

We talk about this all the time. I honestly don't know how my Dad would have reacted. There was a part of him that wouod have said 'bollocks', but I also remember him taking down the bird feeder when avian flu was a worry.

Yes I do. My Dad passed away at the end of 2019 and I often think of what he would make of it. I am incredibly grateful he passed away before though as we moved into the hospice and lived with him for his final weeks. That wouldn't have been possible now and although it was incredibly tough, we were so honoured to have been there with him.

Yes. We only lost DDad at the end of 2019. I often wonder how I'd even try to explain what's gone on since he left.
I'm also incredibly grateful that we didn't have to cope with his terminal illness during Covid times and constantly upset myself thinking of the poor families who are walking the same path that we walked but a year later and aren't able to spend time with their dying relatives like we could.

I do too. It is on my mind a lot

My Mum wouldn't have been able to cope. I would have had to have carried on seeing her as normal as she was nearly completely blind.

My Gran (died about 15 years ago) would have been out every day. She was in her 70s when she finally got a telephone, so I very much doubt she would be online if she were alive now. She'd be telling the Covid/Face Mask Police to go and boil their heads (she was a very blunt woman) if they went anywhere near her. She'd have been seeing her family every day, too.

My mother died long ago (40 years this year) but my father died in 2011.

He was a professional musician for 60 years. He continued to perform when he was terminally ill with cancer because he said it gave him purpose. When he decided to stop, he died six days later.

If Covid-19 was around when he was, it would have financially devastated him as his work would have vanished overnight. Plus, he would have lost his reason for living, his "purpose". It would have been deeply tragic for him.

My grandmother died at the end of 2019 so just missed all this. My dad keeps saying what a blessing it is that she died when she did, since it would have been so hard not being able to visit her in her care home especially at the end. So awful for all the families suffering through these times.

My dad and I had a conversation about how grateful we were that this hadn't happened when my grandmother was still alive and in a care home - my dad visited her daily and although it was still incredibly grim (she had dementia and witnessing the decline was awful, and even worse for her) the thought of her going all that time without that company is really upsetting - I have so much sympathy for all families in that situation.

My Aunt died early March last year (not covid) it was very sudden and she was in intensive care. I can't get my head around how quickly everything changed. The intensive care ward was quite large and only 3 rooms occupied. Our whole family, around 13 of us were present in her room with her and the nurses even made us cups of tea. Just a matter of weeks later the world went crazy. She would have hated the whole situation as it is now so I'm extremely grateful despite the fact she was very young that if she had to go she went when she did.

@EBearhug

I'm quite glad I don't have to deal with my mother through this...

Same

(my mother I mean, not yours!)

My mum died in 2018 and I do sometimes think how grateful I am that she was able to have us all with her as much as possible, even though she was very ill in a care home. Those last few weeks are very precious in my memory, there was so much love, tenderness and grief going on. I can't imagine having to have left her there to die of cancer alone 😢

On the other hand, if she was healthy and living through lockdown now, she'd be stoic. She had a solid daily routine and a healthy mind, unlike me! I'm not doing so well.

I was thinking this recently. My Dad died 30 years ago. I can hear him now saying.. 'Well I'm not bloody staying in'
then Mum, who I lost 20 years ago, would've worried and tried to make him tow the line.
My brother, who died 8 years ago, would've probably been the same as my Dad, but would've just been quieter about it and not actually told anyone where he was going!!
This has made me smile and cry all at once, they're all very missed.

I often think about my Nanna and how even though I miss her, heart wrenchingly so, I'm so glad she didn't have to live through this. She would've been petrified and I don't know how we all would've coped not seeing her for a year. She would never have grasped FaceTime and she would've been so scared. I also don't know how we would've coped not being around her, esp in her later years. It literally gives me chills!

So many thoughts and wishes to families who can't see each other, esp older/vulnerable/poorly family members ❤️

Yep, my elderly grandad died in 2019. He would have been asked to shield. I know he absolutely would not shield, and would be down the shop every day to get his paper. He would refuse to be locked down and think it is all a fuss about nothing.

I lost my grandmother in March last year, she was very lucky to have family by her side but couldn't have the huge funeral filled with people she deserved. Mingled with the sadness I felt huge relief she wasn't stuck alone in a care home through all this. But my mum said she would have loved it (she was a scientist) and would have been reading every scientific and medical journal she could get her hands on!

Yes! I've been thinking a lot about several people who passed away a couple of years ago recently and how they'd be reacting, what conversations we'd be having, etc.