If you lost someone before Covid times

[pawsies]

Do you ever wonder what they would have made of all of this?

My dad was very intelligent. I wonder what his input would have been sometimes.

He was a keen traveller, always getting on planes for work purposes. I think it would have affected him badly from this perspective.

My granddad died a few years ago in his 80s. If he had died of Covid, no doubt it would be a Covid “tragedy.” He was a healthy man who one day had a stroke and died. It was very sad and we were all upset but elderly people die.

I'm very glad my father didn't live to see this. Not seeing his grandchildren would have broken him.

My dad died nine years ago, and I have wondered on a few occasions how he would have reacted to the pandemic. He would have had absolutely no time for Boris Johnson that I can be fairly certain of.

My Nana died at 6am on 23rd March last year - literally the day lockdown was announced (she didn't have or die of covid)

Although losing her was absolutely devastating as we were very close, I will be eternally grateful that the 10 days she spent in hospital, I was able to visit as normal. I supported her to return home on the Thursday before lockdown started as there was nothing else to be done and she wanted to be home - again, I will be forever grateful that we were able to have this and that she died peacefully, in her own home, with me, my Aunt and her partner at her side.

She had no awareness of covid really as the dying process started in the last two weeks. I think she would have found it all very strange and isolating. I would have been able to visit to provide care but working in a school, I'd have been very wary.

My mum was a Matron in a nursing home, she'd often come home and tell me what shite night shifts she'd had recently had with several deaths due to chest infections.
She also used to say that many older patients never ever got a family visit until they were close to death and the "family" wanted to find out about the Will.
She was in a nurse in London during both Flu pandemics of the 50s and late 60s.
I think she'd have thought the whole world had gone mad.

A year ago today was my grandmother's funeral. She had dementia but I'm so, so glad she went when she did. Fairly peacefully and family able to be present. She would not have coped with no visits.

Yes my grandfather in his 90s, went out every day, very deaf, was having chemo in 2018 and 2019 and died just before this all started.

I'm glad (in a way) he went before this. I'd like to hear his take on it but it would be heart-breaking to socially distance with him, he loved a hug and lived alone (I loved a hug), sometimes you had to get very close to his ear to be heard. Masks would have made it so difficult. My Mum visited him daily as he got weaker and then stayed with him for his final months (her sisters helped too), many relatives called into the house in those months before he died. The restrictions would have made this impossible.

Actually think about this quite a lot, my mum died three years ago from cancer. I don't know if she would if of coped well at all, she would of missed me and my sister and her grand kids, also so glad she didn't have cancer now that would of been pretty awful

Very elderly DM died in 2019. She rapidly declined physically and cognitively in the year up to her death. It actually would have been awful for her and for me if she had lived through covid; she would not have known what was going on. It would have been awful.

My OH died at the beginning of February last year - just before all the lockdowns started - did he die of covid? - no-one knows. He died of an unknown viral infection which went to his chest.

He was a GP. What would he have said? - he would have said that he has been expecting this for many many years and most scientists knew it would happen eventually. I am just pleased that he is not here to see all this - he would have been so distressed and worried for his family. He is gone now - he is at peace. I am grateful for that.

My DM died in early 2019 and I have often thought - this past year - that I'm so glad she did not live through this. She was exceptionally social, and would desperately tell you she'd not been over the doorstep for days. When we said 'but I called and called and' it was, oh well, I just went... She had the fullest social life, one that exhausted me just watching. She would have followed the rules, because that's how she was, but she would not have done so quietly.

As much as I'm devastated that she is gone, I am glad that she went before this. I would not have coped if I was not able to be there for the funeral, for the house clearing, for the grieving with family. That would have been much worse.

to all who have lost someone, before and since. It is bloody hard, whatever the circumstance.

@EBearhug

I'm quite glad I don't have to deal with my mother through this...

Ditto.

She was wonderful but a bit of a drama queen. I think there would have heen a lot of "Don't be silly, of course you can visit! I'm your mother!"

And when I wouldn't, there would have been many tears. I wouldn't have envied my local siblings.

My GM died in a care home at the end of 2019, the care home was one of those in our local area badly hit with multiple deaths in the first wave, in so glad she was spared the covid situation and allowed to have family visiting daily right until the end.

My dad died the first day of lockdown. It would have been utterly terrible for him, and even worse he would have had to have seen mum go into care as she didn't understand it all, was being much worse in wandering etc

My Grandparents would have fretted endlessly about the entire family without caring about themselves. I'm happy they weren't here to see it.

Yes. My dad passed in 2017. I am thankful, that he isn't going through terminal cancer throughout all this. It does make me sad to think my mum would have had him there throughout the lockdowns though. It is hard enough to suddenly find yourself living alone after having been part of a loving marriage - last year and this year must make it even harder.
I do wonder what my dad would have thought about all this.

My FIL died last February, he had heart problems and diabetes and was in hospital for a week before he died and my husband visited him everyday. He used to have lots of nurse, doctor and hospital appointments, so I don’t know how he would have coped. We spoke about covid before he died and he watched events unfold and he said that it wouldn’t be long before we had the virus in the uk. He wouldn’t have stayed in and wouldn’t have been happy with all the restrictions, although I’m sure the local ladies would have looked after him. His funeral was on the day that they announced over 70’s should stay in, so a lot of people that wanted to attend didn’t, but we gave him a good send off and it was the last time we saw quite a few relatives.

To be blunt, I think most of them would probably have been bumped off by Covid.

DH and I often talk about what it would have been like if this had happened when we were younger and didn't have kids. I think we would have hated the pubs and cinemas closing. That's pretty much all we did. But I know I would have spent all my time binge watching box sets and getting drunk because I didn't need to homeschool.

I lost my dad in May and really he only experienced a few weeks of isolation before he went into hospital for the last time. Even then it was so tough and scary. I'm so sorry to have lost him but also feel guilty because I feel so grateful he didn't see out the rest of last year or this one. I wouldn't have been able to see him at all and he was so lonely without his usual activities. He also really suffered from mental health problems and I lived a 4 hour drive away. Instead we were allowed to be with him at the end of his life, the hospital thought it would be hours but we got days in his hospital room with music playing, stories and lots of love. He wasn't very with it but couldn't have asked for a more peaceful end. I think he was really lucky in a strange way although not at all lucky to have died from cancer at 64. Awful as it is, most of all he'd have been worried sick about his grandkids and us dealing with working and home schooling. All of it is terrible and most days I don't want to be living through it myself.

Yes, DM died in 2016 and I don't think she would have coped very well with it and would have been constantly on the phone, and worrying about it all

Both me and my mum have agreed that we are glad granny died in 2019. She suffered terribly with her chest and at least she was able to die with dignity and all her family with her.

MIL would have been a nightmare as she was a bit emotionally unbalanced at the best of times.

Sometimes I think it’s but weird how they both lived long lives and were never effected by this or the 1918 pandemics