Anyone else hit the wall...again?

[PMcGintysGoat]

I have cycles of feeling pretty upbeat/seeing the good things in life, then I hit the wall again. I am so tired of trying to work at the same level of productivity, with a team who all seem to be taking things in their stride and powering on. In the past getting dressed up, being in the office and playing the part of the 'professional' was often enough to see me through challenging times, but stuck at home I can't get out of the rut/break the cycle.

Anyone else feeling worn out again?

Yes. I’m utterly exhausted. It’s RELENTLESS.

I’m 31 weeks pregnant, nurseries are still fucking shut in Scotland so no childcare. Working full time. Awful. I have cried so many times.

I can’t imagine how hard it is with nurseries closed. It’s unbelievable really.

Rates in England seem to be really going down; even with nurseries open!

Yes.

The only time I've felt this exhausted was first trimester of pregnancy. Just feel like I'm wading through treacle.

I feel sad, that's the only way I can describe, just flat and sad. If I was in the office and not at the kitchen table I think I would feel better.

Yes, me.

In part I think it’s because DH and I have been ultra careful, because we didn’t want to be the route by which it got into the care home where he works. So over the course of last summer, we had a grand total of one indoor visit and three outdoor visits with family/friends. I had two coffees in a coffee shop. That’s it - no more socialising or going out, while everyone else (it seems) was going to the beach and eating out to help out.

But it got into the home just before Christmas and DH brought it home. I tested positive on New Year’s Eve. So now that I’m recovered and presumably brimming with antibodies, I would bloody love to go to a coffee shop, see my sister and have my mum to visit. But we can’t, so that’s that.

I’ve been feeling very flat today. Done bugger all work as CBA. Have to be on a Zoom meeting in 15 minutes and don’t want to.

I’m pregnant, and my 5 year old is driving me insane. Today has not been a good day at all. I feel very empty and numb.

I swing from one to the other. The low times tend to last a couple of weeks and then I settle back into the full lockdown life rather than depressed, frustrated and angry lockdown blues.

I'm seeing a pattern of instances. I'm also noticing the more down cycles I pass through the more my social anxiety increases.

It's going to feel very strange being out in public again.

Wading through treacle is a good description cara

I cried today during a children's story about a sad dinosaur, my DH thinks I'm crackers.

I agree it all seems endless.
My life basically has not changed since the first lockdown, I never 'helped, to eat out' or went further afield for a day out. I have seen my elderly dm once since Dec 2019 as she lives in Wales.

crimson we were quite circumspect about going out in the summer, it felt a bit strange and I expected things to get better so we were waiting a bit. Then it got worse instead and we've not really had a break since this all started. Not been in office since March, really miss seeing my colleagues.

thebear I'm sure having a cuppa in the office would be very therapeutic.

Feeling the same. I love my son to pieces but I'm a single parent and being with him 24/7 is mentally tough. There's only so much pretend play I can do and school work. Plus I'm at uni full time and due an assignment to hand in soon.
I just feel numb and hopeless. Finding little joy in this atm. I just want to go out and do things and enjoy it with the people I love.

I swing between feeling numb, tearful and cautiously hopeful as spring gets closer. Teen DC has been out of school for a year, CEV, Down Syndrome and autism, I’ve had my hands full. I’m single and in my 40’s, time is running out to meet someone, it’s hard enough in normal times with a disabled DC let alone now. I’m finding it hard to be optimistic about the future. Things will slowly open back up and people around me will start to live again, my life will stay as stagnant as it’s been for the last decade.
GP has prescribed antidepressants, unsure if I want to go down that road. The pandemic has shown me that I haven’t been living for a long time, just existing, caring for DC.

wading through treacle yes me too

I can keep upbeat til the youngsters go to bed they my batteries die.

Givemethechocolate that sounds tough. Maybe give the anti-ds a try, they can help

I'm pretty much done. I'm on annual leave this week but if I don't feel any better I'm going to get signed off sick.

Same as a pp - I can handle it until the dc bedtime, and then I collapse. Can’t find any joy in anything. Arguing with dh all the time. Feel so so bored and flat.

I'm also lonely. I miss all the little contacts I used to have, like the nice receptionist at work - not a friend, just a lovely 'hello' chat about twice a week.

I am SO over this groundhog day OP....I feel your pain.

@Beyondfedupnow

I swing between feeling numb, tearful and cautiously hopeful as spring gets closer. Teen DC has been out of school for a year, CEV, Down Syndrome and autism, I’ve had my hands full. I’m single and in my 40’s, time is running out to meet someone, it’s hard enough in normal times with a disabled DC let alone now. I’m finding it hard to be optimistic about the future. Things will slowly open back up and people around me will start to live again, my life will stay as stagnant as it’s been for the last decade. GP has prescribed antidepressants, unsure if I want to go down that road. The pandemic has shown me that I haven’t been living for a long time, just existing, caring for DC.

((Hugs))

I'm also mid 40s and have been caring for my elderly parents since a couple of weeks into the first lockdown when my dad was diagnosed as being 'end of life'. He is still clinging on against all the odds. My mum is 81 and can't cope with him with the minimal support available to us so I'm now on unpaid sabbatical until at least September.

This was not how I saw my life panning out when I filed for divorce 4 years ago either. Bizarrely I wasn't that bothered about meeting someone before Covid happened, the pandemic has certainly changed my perspective but now there's bugger all I can do about it.

Think I hit the wall in January and haven't recovered since. Tired permanently but can't sleep even when I get the chance

Baby that has never slept well and now is teething really doesn't help

The school age children are gradually worryingly changing character. Not sure what to do there

Pigging stupid media winding everyone up all the time. Is exhausting too.

House is a mess and I have lots of jobs that need doing.

Today has been a struggle.

I just don’t see how doing my job when my kids are not in school/childcare is possible. At. All.
It’s just not!
In our team meeting last week bosses were talking about ‘after half term we need to begin this and that’ - ie. do more. I’m not even doing things properly at the moment. We have preschool for three hours each of my working days but that’s all.
I don’t know whether to be a nay-sayer and tell them in advance I’m not going to be able to do x y and z, or wait and do a bit but basically fail.
It’s mizz isn’t it.
Cafè Corona is another thing - my hands are raw with all the wiping up and bum wiping!
Phhhhhh

Hats off to all single parents. You are an inspiration! ⭐️

As a classic introvert I just really, really, really need a good amount of time alone. I'm desperate for it, I feel drained of all energy. The first day that DD is at school, DS is at nursery and DH is in the office I'm booking as annual leave and staying in bed all day reading in silence. I think having no time alone to recharge is actually making me ill.

Beyondfedupnow - I know how you feel. I have two primary DC, one with SEN and single parent. Also in my forties.

I think what I’m also finding hard is even when I look beyond Covid I don’t see my life getting massively better. And feel like I’m losing time and the effort I had made to try and pull myself together and start to build a life before this - don’t know if I have the energy to try again.

It’s very hard atm.