How much longer are we meant to do this?

[Creamteaincornwall]

I have so many friends who are at the end of their tether. Some suicidal, many almost.
I attend a zoom support group for my mental health and emotional well being as I have BPD and ASD. The last few weeks have been horrendous, every person is at the lowest they’ve been since the beginning of all this.
The amount of posts I’ve read on various Facebook groups of people saying they don’t want to get up in the morning anymore, they just stay in bed. Surely this isn’t doing anyone any good physically or mentally?
Surely this will put most in a weaker position if they were to catch covid?

How much more are we all suppose to take of this? With no end in sight?

It’s obvious that things aren’t fixed and are changeable.

But I find the whole I expected this from the start so irritating. Maybe because it indicates a level of enjoyment of current situation that is so far from what many are feeling.

So many on here ready to stay in lockdown.

No have a google

What did he say? Was it at a briefing?

Well, I am going on holiday at Easter and then again in the summer. All booked and all in the UK (because I do think international travel is likely to be an issue).

I accept Easter may be unlikely, but I will be shocked if we don't get away in the summer.

Everyone I know is also confident that these will be options. Anyone who is struggling with the boredom of lockdown and the general misery of life should stay off Mumsnet, I think. It is filled with the most pessimistic bunch of fun-suckers I have ever come across (as well as lots of lovely, normal people too ).

Boris Johnson has claimed life can still be “back to normal by Christmas” in some ways, even as he confirmed a new crackdown on socialising amid rising infections.

“We are aiming for that, we are driving for that,” the prime minister told a press conference – referring to hopes of a return to theatres, for example.

www.google.co.uk/amp/s/www.independent.co.uk/news/uk/politics/boris-johnson-coronavirus-christmas-xmas-uk-lockdown-covid-cases-b421098.html%3famp

Yes I realise virus situation is changeable.

@TheSunIsShining it's obvious you dont have toddlers. I have no time to do anything except survive my veeeeeery long days. My life was made purposeful by my family, who have missed half of one of my DDs lives, and all of my 3 month olds life. It was made purposeful by some quality time with my DH, which we havent had in a year because we are on toddler duty 24/7. A book would be lovely, but I am sick of Netflix and zoom chats. I want my kids to know their family, i want days out where my toddlers smiles and points in awe at something, and I want someone to hand me a dinner and a glass of wine and to be more than Mum wiping a kids bum for 5 bloody seconds. I am done with being positive about lockdowns. I will keep going, for a while at least, but nothing about being stuck in 4 walls day in day out with 2 small children is positive.

@xmasmob

Boris also said back to normal by November 2020 and then Xmas and then back to normal by spring.

But yes I just can't see why people are confused at the moving goalposts, it was all made so clear from the start...

The very first narrative phrase that was given to the media to drum home to people, and repeated over and over by public speakers and politicians in every country in the world, was the phrase, "The New Normal". That was the closes you got to an accurate projection of what was laid ahead, because at that point they had no prior expectation from the public that required managing.

Yet, people do not seem to either not understand the words in the phrase, "The New Normal", or have thought maybe they were just joking.

The most recent one is, "The Reset", and it has been, is, or will be repeated over and over in public addresses and the media. The financial system is not compatible with this pandemic, and I would urge people not to ignore the resetting of the economy and how that is likely to affect their lives either.

We cannot pretend we weren't told, we were. We can only say that we did not understand, and chose not to seek clarification.

I would like to ask those you want lockdown to continue for the foreseeable, schools to be closed and online learning to continue and for holidays/travel abroad to be banned indefinitely - why do think like this?

Crickey @ElliFAntspoo @Flaxmeadow you two must be a barrel of laughs at a party

I don’t want any of that to be my life moontone but if the science shows that that is why it will take to avoid another 100 thousand deaths then why wouldn’t you?

Thanks @MarshaBradyo

From your link (The Independent)

Boris Johnson has claimed life can still be “back to normal by Christmas” in some ways, even as he confirmed a new crackdown on socialising amid rising infections.

“We are aiming for that, we are driving for that,” the prime minister told a press conference – referring to hopes of a return to theatres, for example

This seems to be saying "back to normal in some ways".

Was it the PM or was it the press saying it. I would have to find the exact quote and context. It's all jumbled up, but that's the press for you isn't it

moonstone

Want is a strong word. Bringing the virus down to an extremely low level is the only way to stay on to of it and avoid future surges that will take lives, cause pressure on our HCPs and wreak havoc. I very much don't want more people to die and get long Covid. I want low numbers especially while the new vaccine is being made.

Boris did not say we would be normal by Christmas but he did say he hoped for significant normality.

One of the biggest problems in this whole shitshow has been his failure to level up with the people and just bluster and fudge his way through everything.

Flax I cannot recall exact words. But I’m usually attune to the more adaptive phrases. And it stuck out as particularly optimistic at the time.

Generally I look to Valance and Whitty etc as the rollercoaster of media is irritating. But even Whitty said we would tire of lockdown, and we have.

@Moonstone1234

I would like to ask those you want lockdown to continue for the foreseeable, schools to be closed and online learning to continue and for holidays/travel abroad to be banned indefinitely - why do think like this?

I personally don't want it indefinitely. If everyone was wearing masks from the start, int'l travel banned and money spent on correct TTR we wouldn't have to. On one hand ppl don't want restrictions but on the other hand they don't want to do even the bare minimum to make it safe for everyone in society. This is a lose-lose situation.

@TwirpingBird
I get why you are feeling low and overwhelmed. But.... you can go out with your kids, you can take them places and point at things and go "awww"... That hasn't changed.
When we had our kid we decided that I won't go back to work for 3 years and at the same time out montage grew 4 fold which was unexpected (other country, early 2000s), so we ended up not having money for anything. And from the outcome perspective it makes no difference if you can't socialize because you don't have money or because there are restrictions. And we still managed and it was still fun and worth it. We'd spend almost full days walking (even on winter days/weeks of -15 degrees....) about and discovering every grass patch in the walking vicinity.
Yes, I remember the "only being a mum" feeling - it was horrible. On the other hand it was a wonderful time to see the world through their eyes. I'm not saying it's easy or that you should be always positive. Just try to shift your mind a bit and try to see the world unfolding through their eyes.
(or you could tell me to go to hell if that makes you feel better.)

Plus I wonder if Sunak would have chosen this set up had he thought it would last as it has. And if that would have changed approach.

To be fair, the significance of the Kent variant wasnt know about in the lead up to Xmas.

Variants were known about, but it wasn't immediately apparent how serious that Kent one was, and how fast it was spreading

@Flaxmeadow

To be fair, the significance of the Kent variant wasnt know about in the lead up to Xmas.

Variants were known about, but it wasn't immediately apparent how serious that Kent one was, and how fast it was spreading

That applies to statement and our general psyche.

I haven't RTFT.

A vocal minority of MNer: we will keep this up for the next 5 years and anyone who is less than enthusiastic about it is a selfish murderer who should be denied healthcare.

Me: once the top 9 groups are vaccinated then back to normal please, with a serious inquiry established this summer to investigate exactly why the NHS was allowed to descend into such a state that the entire country had to be locked down for over a year to allow it to function at a very reduced level and to ensure that this never happens again.

My heart goes out to you OP. I have been thinking today how if this is hard for those of us with pretty easy lives pre-pandemic, how truly horrific it must be by now for those with very difficult lives pre-pandemic.

My only advice, and god knows it’s hard to apply, is to take this for what it is - a lesson in learning to live in uncertainty. It’s desperately hard to do, as it’s human nature to want to feel in control and know what’s round the corner, but this pandemic is showing us that we are not really in control of the big picture. What is in our control is how we respond, how we get through each moment. I can tell you are struggling with the uncertainty as you are asking strangers on here what they think will happen. They don’t know and cannot tell you. There are promising signs. There are not so promising signs. All we can do is accept the uncertainty. (I think being able to do this is a gift for life, pandemics aside, and a true antidote to anxiety.)

Oh. I just have to shift my mind a bit and it's all fixed? I just have to make the 1 mile squared local area that we have consistently been walking for 3 solid months now amazing. Wow. I just didnt realise that was the solution to all my problems. Thanks!

Ye telling you to go to hell is definitely going to make me feel better.

@TwirpingBird
Why is it just 1 square mile? there is public transport. Sucks, but works.
And yes, shifting our focus is one way of dealing with our emotions.
Look at it logically. You can moan that all you do is change nappies, feed the kids, do housework. Or you could see the other things that you do with them: how they get amazed by a truck going by, how a snowflake can be 60 seconds of pure joy, how stacking up cubes, paper glasses, whatevers makes them smile.... If you can't change your circumstances all that's left to change is your pov. What other option do you have? Be miserable for weeks?
And before you yell at me: yes, there are the objective things that won't change because you look at them differently. I'm just saying that some joy can be found regardless of shitty circumstances. and it helps. At least helped me. And neither am I saying that you have to like it. It's shit, I agree.

The point that people here what they want to hear is spot on. However a lot of the confusion happens because people read the news about what was said at the press conference or hear about it on social media so the message becomes distorted.
For example some people on here didn't hear that 8 March was the earliest that schools would return and nobody has suggested that all years would return but will be furious if their child's year isn't chosen.
I understand why people hear the bits that they want to. I've been through periods of avoiding the press conferences and news channels as it was too much. I now generally stick to days when there's news about restrictions or education tbh

@PokemonTrainerRed

The point that people here what they want to hear is spot on. However a lot of the confusion happens because people read the news about what was said at the press conference or hear about it on social media so the message becomes distorted. For example some people on here didn't hear that 8 March was the earliest that schools would return and nobody has suggested that all years would return but will be furious if their child's year isn't chosen. I understand why people hear the bits that they want to. I've been through periods of avoiding the press conferences and news channels as it was too much. I now generally stick to days when there's news about restrictions or education tbh

I disagree re Christmas message.

Otherwise yes there’s always a degree of change possible.

Still I’d never go for the people hear what they want to hear line as it’s so irritating.

People are fed up and it’s going on for ages. I know some are more accepting and find it ok.

Myfriends - what about the people who are dying because cancer ops are not going ahead, people's mental health, DV etc.

I am not having a go at you at all but I think its becoming 'if its not CV19 related then its not that important'. People die all the time and I honestly dont want anyone to die early but 'extremely low' - what does that mean?

Of course I try to find joy. I have 2 kids that I have to stay sane for and not top myself. But i am at home alone all day for 11 solid hours with 2 kids under 2 and my family in a foreign country. I say 1 square mile because I try to follow the rules and stay local. I am doing my bloody best. Telling me to shift my mindset is NOT helpful. I have tried that. My situation is still unbearably difficult.

I say this as my toddler has her 3rd meltdown of the day because she wanted to slam a door shut, my baby wants to be rocked to sleep AGAIN, and my DH just rang to say he will be late.