People saying ‘we’ve had a year of this’ - what did you do last summer?

[Bubbinsmakesthree]

I keep seeing people saying things like “my child hasn’t played with anyone else in a year” or “I’ve not seen any friends in a year”. I know some people have been shielding or live in areas that have had tougher restrictions for longer...but if not, what were you doing last summer?

I think I’ve been fairly cautious but we still managed holidays/trips away in the UK, lots of (socially distanced) meet ups with friends and family and my children saw lots of their friends. We’ve been to museums, meals out, swimming etc. Other than children not social distancing with each other I don’t we broke any rules. It certainly wasn’t a normal summer but in comparison with the current (really miserable) lockdown things were pretty decent.

Lots of people I know were regularly in bars, making cinema trips, foreign holidays and taking the children soft play (i drew the line well before it got to soft play myself!)

Are people forgetting what actually happened or did some people remain in voluntary lockdown all year?

@Hagotcha80 op didn’t mention any specific reasons. There were many reasons why people didn’t, including the need to social distance which stopped visiting friends and family in houses that are too small for that, having children that don’t social distance well, or being in areas that had restrictions. Op broke the rules as their children didnt social distance whilst having play dates.

OP you'll get a hard time from lots of people who even in the most eased areas seemed to believe seeing someone indoors was against the rules. We were in an area where everything was eased and saw people within the limits. Lots of trips to outside attractions with one friend and her child - zoo, local fairground rides, walks, beach. Had single household visits. Went on holiday within the UK. Got my haircut, eyebrows and lashes done etc. Drives me mad the people in my area who proclaim that was breaking the rules when it simply wasn't. And the virus wasn't spreading like fucking wildfire in those areas at that time.

I never went to restaurants or anything because indoor, poorly ventilated spaces are the worst. I didn't go round pretending the people who did do that were breaking the rules though.

There's a lot of lockdown martyrs on MN who don't need to be.

Not had a holiday since Summer 2019 and not met as a family since Christmas 2019. Not had a night away from home since summer 2019. The reason is the holiday company cancelled our June 2020 holiday. I have booked for our July 2021 summer holiday.

We are a large family and booking holidays involved about 6 months notice and fitting it around school times and about 8 employers so has to be done months in advance. Last minute merchants and small families can just pop abroad at a moment's notice. The pandemic and the CV219 legislation basically makes things hard for those who have to plan their lives, have jobs and that kind of thing.

We supported what we could when we could, we want cinemas, for example, to still be there when we reopen.

I expected all the "we stayed at home all summer" want the cinema to be there on reopening as well but it's was for other people to support them whilst they "stayed safe".

Whatever eh! At least our 9 yr old got a trip to the cinema on his actual birthday, the kiosk staff let him "take a free bag of birthday sweets" which made his day! It was as risk free as it could be and it wasn't another groundhog day.

But wasn’t the OP referring to those that chose not to engage in any compliant summer activities not because shielding or for any specific reason?

The idea that the only reason people didn't do things because it was a choice is fairly insulting.

Most of my friends have children under school age and both parents working, so they had pre booked annual leave during school term time which was when restrictions were still in place and then spent the summer juggling childcare as not all normal options had reopened. By the time they were in a position to look at taking a holiday we were in restrictions again in September.

[quote Mousehole10]@Hagotcha80 op didn’t mention any specific reasons. There were many reasons why people didn’t, including the need to social distance which stopped visiting friends and family in houses that are too small for that, having children that don’t social distance well, or being in areas that had restrictions. Op broke the rules as their children didnt social distance whilst having play dates.[/quote]
* physical distancing is still essential for everyone except children under 12 and people in the same household or extended household*

Nhs

@watchingabike

Sadly, it's all these 'little' rule breakings that means the rest of us still can't do anything. Including earn money.

Glad you had a great summer though

Some people earn money by people being out and about with others though.

As with everything it's never black and white, just many shades of grey.

* The idea that the only reason people didn't do things because it was a choice is fairly insulting. *

Some did it out of choice
And so it was them I was referring to.
Not those that didn’t because the couldn’t, because that wasn’t choice - was it?!

@Goldenbeetle

OP you'll get a hard time from lots of people who even in the most eased areas seemed to believe seeing someone indoors was against the rules. We were in an area where everything was eased and saw people within the limits. Lots of trips to outside attractions with one friend and her child - zoo, local fairground rides, walks, beach. Had single household visits. Went on holiday within the UK. Got my haircut, eyebrows and lashes done etc. Drives me mad the people in my area who proclaim that was breaking the rules when it simply wasn't. And the virus wasn't spreading like fucking wildfire in those areas at that time.

I never went to restaurants or anything because indoor, poorly ventilated spaces are the worst. I didn't go round pretending the people who did do that were breaking the rules though.

There's a lot of lockdown martyrs on MN who don't need to be.

Of course it was fine to meet people indoors in summer (in most areas, not all), but you had to stay 2m apart. Not everyone lives in large enough houses for this so it stopped many from being able to do it. It’s actually quite upsetting that some people seem think think everyone lives in huge houses with massive rooms and gardens that are big enough for 4 or 6 people to distance 2m from each other. Even my garden we could only have 4 of us from two households to be able to keep to 2m between households, there’s no way any room in my house is big enough. So no I couldn’t have friends over as there wasn’t room.

There's been multiple posts saying if you didn't take advantage of looser restrictions then it's your own fault so don't moa with no awareness that for huge numbers it wasn't a choice. That's the basic premis of the op.

Oh, and yes, celeriac is definitely an essential.

@alienspiderbee

But wasn’t the OP referring to those that chose not to engage in any compliant summer activities not because shielding or for any specific reason?

The idea that the only reason people didn't do things because it was a choice is fairly insulting.

Most of my friends have children under school age and both parents working, so they had pre booked annual leave during school term time which was when restrictions were still in place and then spent the summer juggling childcare as not all normal options had reopened. By the time they were in a position to look at taking a holiday we were in restrictions again in September.

DH and I were working all summer, sometimes at the weekend, didn't have a holiday, have a 6 year old child. We still went out for meals, went to the beach, had BBQs etc. Surely, if you're not shielding and stick to the rules, this was possible for most people?

I am not near a beach and don't like BBQs and don't go out for meals anyway but I did manage meet my grandchildren (once in 2020) in London in a park for an hour or so! 2 of us also got to see my daughter's new house (they moved in Feb 2020) in London inside in the summer I think it was - I am forgetting when all the Lndon lockdowns and tier 4s took place - we have certainly been covid central since march out here in outer London give our very large BAME and old people's population compared to inner London and over crowding (more beds in sheds than any other London borough for example) and our hospitals were basically full in March and later so I can be pretty sure I am not likely to get NHS care.

Nothing because we were in the middle of a pandemic. I cancelled our Uk holiday because I don't think it would've been fair on the locals having a load of people flock and spread the virus. Also it would've been subject to social distancing anyway and that's not an enjoyable way for us to relax.

Wrong thread! Clearly.

There's been multiple posts saying if you didn't take advantage of looser restrictions then it's your own fault so don't moa with no awareness that for huge numbers it wasn't a choice. That's the basic premis of the op.

There have been lots of posts like that, but then there's also lots of post from people who want to see what the maximum they can get away with is whilst arguing that they have to go to 76 different shops to buy the right kind of quinoa, followed by lots of 'aww hun YANBU. Ignore anyone who's ays otherwise. If artisan quinoa is going to make you happy then do it. We've got to look after our mental health. Some of you covid police should be ashamed of yourselves saying that going to 76 shops looking for the perfect product is unreasonable. Why shouldn't people go to shops that are open? No wonder we have a mental health crisis'

As ever with covid and restrictions, just because people can doesn't mean they should.

Of course some people didn’t have the choice.

But there are people saying they did nothing and their kids went nowhere. They cancelled U.K. holidays, despite them being allowed and even encouraged.

How do you balance it? Cases very low in summer. Tourist industry crying out for money and economy tanked. We did a U.K. break in the Dales. Just our family, no need to socially distance in our lovely cottage. Walks where we didn’t see anyone for miles. We swam in rivers and climbed mountains. Do we think we spread the virus round the Dales? No. Was it amazing for the kids health and mental well-being? Yes. Everything is a choice and a personal risk assessment.

If you had to work then that’s a real shame but not a choice to stay in your house for a year like some.

I feel sorry for children in this. Why shut them away too when there was no need? (Unless vulnerable).

I went back to work in June after being furloughed and no holiday was allowed to be booked until august. Am in Scotland so kids were back to school by them, so no holidays here.

Had a friend in the house once, in the brief time it was allowed here.

My kids though have been more "normal". My under 12 can still see friends and doesn't have to socially distance and my teen can still go out with one friend socially distanced. Up to Christmas my eldest was still doing football training and playing matches.

But I agree with these saying it's almost been a year. Even when restrictions were lifted a little, life was not normal. It's now almost a year since I have seen my mum as she is a carer for my aunt who is ecv. I don't run out of fingers on how often I've seen my dad either. Days out are few and far between as they need to be sorted so much in advance. Cinemas haven't been opened locally since March.

It's been a full year BUT yes we did manage to have a lovely summer last year (not 'normal'), we were lucky that they opened the provincial campgrounds here so we were able to get away for 3 short camping trips with the kids; lots of canoeing, lake time etc after being home since March it was what we all needed.

In August I managed a few day trips with the kids to places that were open and we also had lots of BBQs, bike rides and were able to hang out with our bubble friends (1 other family).

Not expecting much for this summer but hoping we can at least manage what we did last year and I would be happy with that.

I'm not sure why the op thinks the majority of people who have done very little have done it only through choice and not circumstance though? There are so many reasons that people had summer's that were very limited - vulnerable family members, job & money issues, limited childcare, living in an area with strict restrictions, no annual leave etc. that I would assume that most people who feel they have been under lockdown for a year fall into this category and didnt just sit at home for the fun of it.

I don't know anyone being martyrs, a lot of the people I know are in Leicester, try telling them that lockdown hasn't been nearly a year.

DH is CEV so we haven’t been visiting, inside a restaurant, in museums, etc. we formed a pod with one family in a similar situation so dd could have contact with a friend. They meet once a week. The kids have all been homeschooled since March 2020. Parents are all wfh. We get groceries delivered.

That’s it. That has been our life for almost a year now

Maybe if I knew then how bad the winter was going to be I would have thrown caution to the wind but I so wanted the virus levels to be as low as possible in sept and knowing that it’s spread by human contact we minimised contact, everyone I know was doing this. I wasn’t an outlier amongst our friends.

We also have 5 parents that we need to be able to support, none of us wanted to be the person who infected them so we were super careful. We live in a village and the possibility of inadvertently bringing infection into the village where there are a fair number of older people was also a worry.

We didn’t have our two weeks in the med because we could not take the risk of having to isolate for a further 14 days either. ( plus both our mothers became practically hysterical at the prospect)

Also cases didn’t just rise in September , cases began to slowly rise from mid August and those people who tested positive in the first week back to school were infected in the previous week. Several scientists have said that our mistake was that we allowed too much mixing in August.

@alienspiderbee

There's been multiple posts saying if you didn't take advantage of looser restrictions then it's your own fault so don't moa with no awareness that for huge numbers it wasn't a choice. That's the basic premis of the op.

That was really not the intention at all. Sorry if that’s how it came across.

But there are people saying they did nothing and their kids went nowhere. They cancelled U.K. holidays, despite them being allowed and even encouraged
People were allowed and encouraged to Eat Out to Help Out.
People were allowed to mix over Christmas.

Is it really that difficult to see that some people have a bigger perspective than simply working out what the most they can do within the rules?

I could have driven around the country visiting family. But then I thought about everyone else who was driving round the country, and everyone else who was in and out of service stations, and everyone else who wanted to pour into popular areas and small communities (probably congratulating themselves that they have only been using the village shops and small supermarkets, unless they are the minority who do carry everything they need).

Suddenly it didn't seem such a good idea when case rates in my area were high.

So yes some people on Mumsnet will probably say "oh well that was your choice, you could have gone on holiday and to see your family so don't complain about a year of restrictions" but I'd be interested to see how many of them have lost loved ones to Covid, or been unwell with it themselves, or seen loved ones unwell.

I'd have rather we had a proper lockdown in a timely fashion and got it under control than being endlessly lockdown and rewarded with playtime every few months before the country is told 'naughty naughty... now we have to lock you down again because the thing that was obviously going to spread Covid has led to a rise in cases'.

I don't have school age children. Last summer had a week's holiday at home doing things such as timed visits to museums (which had opened), cinema and local things. Second week in September in Bavaria (where face coverings were worn without exception).

I don't blame people forgetting, as it seems a very long time ago, and in any case their normal summer holiday may not have happened.