People saying ‘we’ve had a year of this’ - what did you do last summer?

[Bubbinsmakesthree]

I keep seeing people saying things like “my child hasn’t played with anyone else in a year” or “I’ve not seen any friends in a year”. I know some people have been shielding or live in areas that have had tougher restrictions for longer...but if not, what were you doing last summer?

I think I’ve been fairly cautious but we still managed holidays/trips away in the UK, lots of (socially distanced) meet ups with friends and family and my children saw lots of their friends. We’ve been to museums, meals out, swimming etc. Other than children not social distancing with each other I don’t we broke any rules. It certainly wasn’t a normal summer but in comparison with the current (really miserable) lockdown things were pretty decent.

Lots of people I know were regularly in bars, making cinema trips, foreign holidays and taking the children soft play (i drew the line well before it got to soft play myself!)

Are people forgetting what actually happened or did some people remain in voluntary lockdown all year?

@Manteo some people would like there to be mn rules! But no, all those things were fine as long as you stuck to the rules. But a lot of people couldn’t do some of the things you did, because of the social distancing requirements. Visiting people and staying overnight would have been impossible in some of my families houses as you had to keep to 2m distancing, so we didn’t visit those people. Same for meals out, the pubs round here you couldn’t stay 2m apart from you friends round a table so we didn’t do that either. You still had to distance 2m from your group of 6 at a pub or restaurant.

fluffi

But if these were your colleagues, to all intents and purposes, you might as well have done those activities in terms of risk of getting covid.

When I read things like this, I realise why we are in this shitty situation. FFS risk does not work like this.

When we booked to go to a restaurant the chairs were definitely not 2m apart, not in any pub or restaurant I went to. Did some restaurants do this? I remember being a bit unsure when we turned up.

Are their secret Mumsnet rules?

Yep

FWIW I think the messaging was confusing over the summer. We made our own risk assesments, I wouldn't'eat inside a resturant but did sit outside cafes. We met with one other family on a few occasions.

The teens were less cautious, DH some where in the middle. I refused to accompany him to a house party with 3 other families......

@Manteo

When we booked to go to a restaurant the chairs were definitely not 2m apart, not in any pub or restaurant I went to. Did some restaurants do this? I remember being a bit unsure when we turned up.

No I don’t think anywhere did as there wouldn’t be room, which is why me and friends and family didn’t go as it was against the rules. Had to be 2m apart anywhere indoors or 1m with extra mitigation’s such as masks.

Oh ok, we mostly sat in pub gardens but went for a friends birthday meal once and it was inside and our table was far from anyone else but the chairs definitely weren't!

@Manteo

I stuck to the rules... which meant I had a few meals out in groups of 6, had friends over for BBQs, at some point DD went back to dance classes and swimming lessons, we visited family who lived a couple of hours away. Are we supposed to go over and above the rules? Are their secret Mumsnet rules?

To follow the MN rules, you needed to barricade yourself in the house without leaving....... even the garden was out of bounds. I know eating out was allowed but you won't earn your martyrdom stars that way 🤷‍♂️

@Manteo

When we booked to go to a restaurant the chairs were definitely not 2m apart, not in any pub or restaurant I went to. Did some restaurants do this? I remember being a bit unsure when we turned up.

This is where the vague “1m+” rules came from. I only went to a restaurant once with people outside my household and TBH I didn’t feel hugely comfortable with it so didn’t do it again.

@Fireflylane

This is why we are now in lockdown February 2021 . Since March last year I've not seen any close friends who live away, nobody has been in our house apart from oldest DD boyfriend. No meals out, no trips to the pub, didn't feel safe. No holidays or weekends away. We are in this mess because people met up with every tom duck and Harry during the summer and probably Christmas it makes me do mad

People going to the beach, having a BBQ, going to museums that were open, restaurants that were open, holidays (albeit socially distanced/with masks) - are not the reason we are in lockdown in February 2021. Honestly. MN really is full of crackpots who have their own Covid rules and expect the country to know what they are

@lucywho123 Exactly. Maybe they feel better believing that though as some people have put themselves through misery when they really didn't need to.

Agree @lucywho123

I think we can all make accurate risk assessments. If something is legal and allowed then it’s fine.

More fool you if you didn’t enjoy what summer had to offer @Fireflylane. Must be awful not having been anywhere fun in a year. We met friends, went on holiday. Because it was allowed! Hide away if you want but you can’t make up and inflict your made up rules on other people. Or blame them.

At Christmas it was different to summer. Cases were higher so we didn’t see anyone.

If I look at the stats and see 1 in 2000 people in my area have Covid (like summer) then I feel pretty safe going to pubs and seeing friends. Very glad I did.

we stuck to guidelines. ExH was still working, and we have vulnerable/shielding family. So the kids didnt go out much.

I saw one friend once a week at the weekend, and spent one weekend away over the summer, other than that it was 'socially distanced' visits to family.

With having a disabled teen on my hands who's autistic we were extra cautious.

@TheLovelinessOfDemons

My DC did nothing last summer because holiday club and camp were shut. It would have been DS2's first time at camp.

“Nothing”? Really?

[quote userxx]@lucywho123 Exactly. Maybe they feel better believing that though as some people have put themselves through misery when they really didn't need to. [/quote]
This

My children and I enjoyed a wonderful summer, completely within guidelines

Now in lockdown we are mentally in very good spirits as memories of a fabulous summer keeping us going!

if I look at the stats and see 1 in 2000 people in my area have Covid (like summer) then I feel pretty safe going to pubs and seeing friends. Very glad I did.

Exactly...it’s been 100x this recently in my area! As I kept saying to DH to get him to take things seriously, when it’s 1 in 20 you’re almost guaranteed to pass by someone who has covid in a busy supermarket (so no DH, you’re not popping into the shop because we’re out of bread and milk).

Last summer was about personal economics.

If you'd been absolutely financial fucked over, lost your job, your business had crashed and at risk of loosing your home, you didn't have the resources to jolly it up for the short period before restrictions (in the south? the north seems to have had a longer and shittier run of it) kicked back in. You were too busy seeking work, robbing Peter to Paul.

If you were already in the lower income brackets you were probably at work anyway, serving those who were on their hols.

Plus lots of employers pulled some shitty tricks on their staff, like making you take all your holiday during the quiet period of the first lockdown so didn't have to pay you, therefore, again, you were at work during the summer, having the battle of finding childcare with SD.

If those kind of things don't apply to you, you probably had a comparatively good first lockdown and might need some self-reflection of why others don't live like you.

I was working all summer, not allowed annual leave for most of August, did a bit of overtime too, didn't have a holiday. I still managed to do some fun free things like take DD to me our friends at the beach/park with a picnic of Aldi food. (Went it for meals too but there are always cheap/free things to do).

Ate Out To Help Out in my local area and stated home. Thought them was the rules.

* If those kind of things don't apply to you, you probably had a comparatively good first lockdown and might need some self-reflection of why others don't live like you.*

But this doesn’t just apply to how.

There will always be others worse off. It does not mean you enjoy your life, celebrate it, talk about it, relish it.

My children and I know and appreciate how lucky we are that we have not had covid and that we enjoyed a lovely summer. I remind them of that fact.

BUT I do not constantly self reflect or feel guilty.

When we emerge from the pandemic and life returns to normal, I think as always be luckier than blessed than some/many.

It does not meant you can’t enjoy life etc

@Hagotcha80 of course you don’t need to feel guilty if you enjoyed yourself within the rules. It’s just people like the op starting this thread to ask why everyone’s meaning because didn’t they all have an amazing summer like themselves and couldn’t understand why lots didn’t (then it transpired that op had broken the rules and so wouldn’t have had so great a summer if they hadn’t).

Moaning*

But wasn’t the OP referring to those that chose not to engage in any compliant summer activities not because shielding or for any specific reason?

Sorry I didn’t read any rule breaking, only the OP where no rule breaking was raised

We didn't do any of the things you mentioned. We have been trying to keep our family safe so stayed at home or went outdoors not meeting anyone like bike riding or walk in the woods. It's just been three of us as a family spending time together. We ofcourse didn't break any rules but I have always believed that most of the government guidelines were not science driven and were very minimal. And we can see that with how high the death rate is in UK. If only the government had been stricter and people didn't go about life as normal, perhaps we wouldn't be in this mess.