People saying ‘we’ve had a year of this’ - what did you do last summer?

[Bubbinsmakesthree]

I keep seeing people saying things like “my child hasn’t played with anyone else in a year” or “I’ve not seen any friends in a year”. I know some people have been shielding or live in areas that have had tougher restrictions for longer...but if not, what were you doing last summer?

I think I’ve been fairly cautious but we still managed holidays/trips away in the UK, lots of (socially distanced) meet ups with friends and family and my children saw lots of their friends. We’ve been to museums, meals out, swimming etc. Other than children not social distancing with each other I don’t we broke any rules. It certainly wasn’t a normal summer but in comparison with the current (really miserable) lockdown things were pretty decent.

Lots of people I know were regularly in bars, making cinema trips, foreign holidays and taking the children soft play (i drew the line well before it got to soft play myself!)

Are people forgetting what actually happened or did some people remain in voluntary lockdown all year?

@Pastanred

“All open so why wouldn’t you go”

Because everyone has/had their own individual thoughts & anxieties on what felt safe. I for one, couldn’t think of anything worse than queuing for rides at a packed theme park!

I also didn’t keep my DD inside. We virtually lived outside for the whole Summer/Autumn and socialised occasionally within the rules and in a way we felt comfortable. Our DD is happy, healthy & loved and as an only child we have enabled socialising within our own parameters of safety thus to reduce anxiety.

@DenisetheMenace

"God I feel so bad for kids who’s parents kept them inside“

That’s been the worst thing for us. No choice with CEV husband and our eldest himself CV. He’s been remarkable and it’s been far from easy for him but he will move on positively. I know that won’t be the case for all though

Ignore tone-deaf, smug poster, & for you.

There's been a few threads/posts like this recently. It's just really annoying when the OP comes in saying why are people miserable and saying it's been a year when they've had a fantastic summer breaking rules. no thought to other people's situations or those who stuck to the rules like we were supposed to.

Some areas had harsher restrictions, some people are CEV, some have lost jobs, homes, family members. Others have stuck to the rules which meant that unless you lived in mansions you actually couldn't see people inside because you needed to stay 2m apart (which applied to pubs too). And no, children couldn't play together because 2,3,4,5 year olds cannot social distance properly so they can't play in play parks or on play dates together. None of this 'oh it's alright because they're in a school bubble together' no it's not alright, it's against the rules and adding to the problem. Spare a thought to those who have been following the rules and have been having a completely horrible year.

A surprising number of people don't seem to understand that other people lead very different lives: even people who are 'like them'.

This has been my biggest take away from the last year. I can't believe the number of people who seem unable to see things from a slightly different perspective.

Last summer, we had 1 socially distanced picnic with 1 other household, for my DD's and my birthday. It was such a thoughtful thing my friend organized. That's all the in-person socializing with people I don't live with that I've done. I've seen my dentist more than anyone else I don't live with (I've had multiple teeth and jaw related emergencies). There were months I saw the other adults I do live with far less because they were working 12+ hour shifts and crashing out to do it all over again so even walks with one of them can be rare.

Everything else I've done socially has been Zoom / Discord / Gather.town and it's been pretty rare and sporatic as most people I know are still working long hours out of the home or have taken on more caring responsibilities by bubbling with vulnerable family members through this or groups that just haven't been able to be reliable.

My children have done more - they're all old enough to go to the park with each other which they did during the brief times things were relaxed here, but they mostly played with each other. My DDs did an online choir last summer, all my kids more recently got into a Zoom radio class which is the only socializing my home educated 8 year old is getting beyond his siblings recently as everything he did previously hasn't been on since last March whether formally or with other families that aren't currently available. The older kids have the benefits of their school/college even with it now online, but my 16 year old only has that once a week and it's really not filling that need. He's spent a lot of time trying out different gaming discords, but he's not found his space yet.

Loneliness and isolation were major issues before COVID. I doubt the same language of epidemic levels will be used in the near future again, bit it's no surprise many through circumstances even beyond tiers and shielding have ended up not seeing anyone, even when it wasn't an active, voluntary choice.

Good point OP!

We had a wonderful holiday in Uk
It was a memorably special summer actually

@Pastanred

I’m north west near Liverpool/tech Lancashire

Even with our strict rules in place we did a lot and all was allowed so think people put themselves in a lockdown that wasn’t needed

Bars and restaurants open

I met friends outside for drinks and food

As families 6 of us went camping - each family in our own tent

I went to Greece with my family - allowed!

I went to theme parks
Water parks
Indoor skiing

All open so why wouldn’t you go

God I feel so bad for kids who’s parents kept them inside

Even now my kids meet a different friend everyday for walk -it’s allowed!

Talking of tone deaf posts this one is particularly twattish.

My area got swamped with tourists. No way was I going to be jumping on our overwhelmed public transport to go anywhere.

I stayed home, went nowhere and saw very few people. As a result I am struggling now. I wish I'd broken the rules as you suggest people did.

We're in Manchester. Can't remember what the situation was over the summer tbh, the past year has become an endless blur of lockdowns and restrictions. I know we weren't going in to anyone else's houses though.

“A surprising number of people don't seem to understand that other people lead very different lives: even people who are 'like them'.”

But similarly some people don’t seem to understand that other people made different choices to them eg to go to theme parks, restaurants etc and that these choices were equally valid. Getting angry and upset at people who acted within the guidelines when you choose to place harsher restrictions on yourself seems pretty self-defeating.

@HerculesMuligan

“A surprising number of people don't seem to understand that other people lead very different lives: even people who are 'like them'.”

But similarly some people don’t seem to understand that other people made different choices to them eg to go to theme parks, restaurants etc and that these choices were equally valid. Getting angry and upset at people who acted within the guidelines when you choose to place harsher restrictions on yourself seems pretty self-defeating.

Agreed

But some people on mumsnet seem to get their only pleasure from anger and bitterness.

If that's your idea of cautious I'd hate to see your version of threw caution to the wind

This.
As a shielding person I'm very resentful that many others didn't follow lockdown and feel they have prolonged my time in virtual isolation.
And don't get me started on those that can't even do 10 days isolation without going out due to their 'mental health'...

I had a great summer and didn't break any rules at all.

Had my Mum over to stay for the week twice. Spent lots of time with PILs at their house inside and out.

Went to restaurants, pubs, had lovely nights outside friend's houses where we all took our own food/drink. Lovely day trips during the summer months. Coffees and picnics with friends (taking our own stuff and separate picnic blankets).

All absolutely within the rules, all socially distanced, plenty of hand sanitiser and space and we didn't contribute to the rise in cases as I'm as sure as we can be that none of us have had COVID.

The only thing I didn't do was go on holiday (abroad or the UK) as we can't afford right now due to the pandemic.

@MadinMarch please don't put mental health on quotes like it's not real.

I'm on my knees, my mental health is in tatters. I've stuck to the rules and living in Leicester means they have been brutal.

My 14 year old DS is also desperately struggling. It's hard to reach him as he wants and needs his peers but his old, annoying mum. I'm terrified of how low he is.

We are a rock bottom. But we have followed the rules. Making light of or underestimating how awful some people's mental health is is really harsh.

We're in London and we were quite active in the summer because the guidelines allowed it and we're not clinically vulnerable. We stayed entirely within the rules, but we were able to go on holiday to Cornwall, eat at restaurants, have a short break at Legoland, take my toddler to soft play and toddler classes, visit lots of the London museums and galleries, had day trips to the seaside and theme parks. My toddler went to nursery from June so she has been playing with children there. We met up with family a few times when it was allowed, but to be honest we haven't done much household mixing. We don't actually mix with other children or families when we go out, but DD is 2 and is happy to play with me and DH for now.

The past couple of months has been more difficult as the lockdown has been more restrictive/the weather has made it hard to do outdoor activities. But I feel we've been able to get through it as it's only felt like a relatively short period of restrictions - if we'd denied ourselves the chance to do other things when they were allowed we'd be feeling much more miserable and stressed.

We did farms, theme parks, play dates, forest walks etc. Majority of time at home using the garden.
My child can't socially distance at 18m (at the time)
When allowed we had her friends come to play for small BBQs etc.

We rarely go away so our summer wasn't much different tbh.

Even now our lives, except the places like the local farm that's closed and places we have season passes for (which are closed in Jan and Feb anyway) thankfully hasn't affected us just can't use the garden atm as much.

“But some people on mumsnet seem to get their only pleasure from anger and bitterness“

It’s not about getting pleasure from anger & bitterness. It’s about being aware & sensitive to the fact that people have had and are having a crap time for so many reasons. Seemingly gloating about ones fabulous summer & almost questioning why people haven’t had a similar experience is insensitive & unkind.

Not much but I'm in Bolton so we had the Greater Manchester extra restrictions and than the extra ,extra restrictions they imposed on Bolton when we had the highest. Rates of infection in the UK

@Shibees

“But some people on mumsnet seem to get their only pleasure from anger and bitterness“

It’s not about getting pleasure from anger & bitterness. It’s about being aware & sensitive to the fact that people have had and are having a crap time for so many reasons. Seemingly gloating about ones fabulous summer & almost questioning why people haven’t had a similar experience is insensitive & unkind.

No one is gloating

People who chose a self imposed isolation despite being allowed out in the summer may see it as gloating because so different from their experience.

@umpteennamechanges

I had a great summer and didn't break any rules at all.

Had my Mum over to stay for the week twice. Spent lots of time with PILs at their house inside and out.

Went to restaurants, pubs, had lovely nights outside friend's houses where we all took our own food/drink. Lovely day trips during the summer months. Coffees and picnics with friends (taking our own stuff and separate picnic blankets).

All absolutely within the rules, all socially distanced, plenty of hand sanitiser and space and we didn't contribute to the rise in cases as I'm as sure as we can be that none of us have had COVID.

The only thing I didn't do was go on holiday (abroad or the UK) as we can't afford right now due to the pandemic.

Did you stay 2m apart form your mum and PIL? If not then yes you did break rules (unless one is in your support bubble). Fair enough if your house is big enough so you could stay 2m apart, but mine and most people we know houses are not big enough for this and so we couldn't do much inside.

@HerculesMuligan

“A surprising number of people don't seem to understand that other people lead very different lives: even people who are 'like them'.”

But similarly some people don’t seem to understand that other people made different choices to them eg to go to theme parks, restaurants etc and that these choices were equally valid. Getting angry and upset at people who acted within the guidelines when you choose to place harsher restrictions on yourself seems pretty self-defeating.

A) I have blood cancer, and am shielded, like another poster who was upset by an earlier post.

B) I do understand why people made those choices. I know some don't, but lots of my friends did make choices like that.

The quote you selected from me was in response to the dramatic 'I feel so sorry for the children' post, which was twattery of the highest order.

@freckles20

@freckles20

I take your point and apologise if it came across as all mental health. I didn't intend that. I was only referring to the scenario of those that use it as an excuse to break the 10 day isolation rules.

I guess it depends on what your life was like before. Things haven’t felt normal to me for almost a year because the everyday stuff I would do with my toddler DS never reopened - playgroup, local swimming pool, library, soft play.