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Covid

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Original poster

Dad getting the vaccine yet doesn't seem happy

29 replies

LJRT · 01/02/2021 20:12

I've just been speaking to my dad who is getting the vaccine on Thursday. I said thats great and positive to hear, his response- Yea at least i will get some protection, not a lot

Surely something is better than nothing is it not.?? Wish I could get him out of this view i physically can't understand why he doesn't seem pleased . He is in his 70s

OP posts:

Hardbackwriter · 01/02/2021 20:17

I wonder if it's making him feel a bit vulnerable to think of himself as at such risk, or if it makes him feel old? My FIL also seems weirdly not that pleased to have been given a vaccine appointment - he didn't even tell us until I asked, even though he's sent multiple pictures and updates on his garden over the past few days and when I said it was great news he said 'yes but I hope I don't get too many side effects'. I think in his case it's because he seems to think of himself as much younger than he is - MIL and he are both quite obsessed with how fit and active, and are very scathing of people their age who have, in their view, 'become old' - and I wonder in his case if it's linked to that, that it's a reminder that he is 73 and so considered at risk and in a group often referred to as elderly, and that you can't change that by doing a lot of hiking. Could something similar be going on with your dad?

toodleloooo · 01/02/2021 20:19

It's really hard, isn't it? My Dad is 70 and I think it's a difficult age because on the one hand you're probably still pretty active, but on the other you're being told how susceptible you are to this virus and being made very aware of your own mortality. I'm guessing your dad is probably grateful but just a bit disappointed that we're still a long way off getting this thing properly behind us. All the best to you both

toodleloooo · 01/02/2021 20:20

Cross post with @Hardbackwriter!

Scottishgirl85 · 01/02/2021 20:21

Some people have been so influenced by the scare mongering that even once vaccinated they will struggle to go back to normal when allowed. It's very sad. I have a feeling my parents will be the same. In my opinion there is then little point in living.

Original poster

LJRT · 01/02/2021 20:25

Yeha I suppose when you put it like that it does make sense. His very fit and active and does a lot still considering his age so maybe that's it. My mum is 58. I know there desperately wanting to see us and have the closeness with us and the kids so I was wondering if that was why also is it because mum won't be having hers yet. Out of interest anyone know what the rough date is that the age 30 category will get there's and even the little kiddies (grandkids)age 4-10

OP posts:

HeddaGarbled · 01/02/2021 20:27

Well, he’s not entirely wrong. He’s being a bit ‘glass half empty’. This may just be his personality, or he may be protecting himself psychologically. Leave him be. He’s having the vaccination and that’s the important thing.

Mousehole10 · 01/02/2021 20:27

Age 30 will be by Autumn and kids will be a long way off as it’s not tested for children yet. Currently being tested for 12+ But younger kids not even started yet.

Wingedharpy · 01/02/2021 20:29

Also, not to sound ungrateful (I'm very, very grateful), but the reality is, it actually makes no difference to our day to day lives, even if we've had the vaccine.
We're still confined to barracks.
But, we are 1cm nearer to that light at the end of the tunnel.

Now, OP, when you phone him to say "Great news Dad. We're all coming round next week to take you out for a pub lunch - then, we're taking you clubbing at night. Dust off your winklepickers".

If his response is the same, you/he have a problem.

TaighNamGastaOrt · 01/02/2021 20:29

I get it. My dad is late 70's and same. He just isn't bothered.
He too has his first vaccination on Thursday. He wasn;t going to go and have it done until I spoke to him. for some reason, they're not innoculating him in our town health centre which is beside his house.
They're doing it in the next large town. in a shopping park.
Except the buses have been vastly reduced so he can't get there without waiting in the cold for 3 hours.
At his age, he's just not fit for it.
So I'm taking him in the car (masks on), he's still reluctant but he's going.
I think he's a bit depressed as he lives alone, missing meeting his friends for a coffee and coming round to ours.

staceybeaker · 01/02/2021 20:31

Perhaps he feels a bit guilty that he's having it but your mum can't have it yet, or doesn't want to seem too excited in front of her for that reason? Also if it means he still can't see you or do things just yet.

Lemons1571 · 01/02/2021 20:32

My father is the same. Almost unbothered one way or the other. He’s been going out as normal all through the pandemic and as long as his daily routine is not disrupted he seems unfazed by whether he’s vaccinated or not. I don’t understand it either.

WalrusWife · 01/02/2021 20:41

Does it matter? Feeling happy or not will have no effect on vaccine efficiency.

isadoradancing123 · 01/02/2021 20:49

He is prob only getting one dose for now and not the two 21 days apart as per protocol, also there is debate on its efficiency in over 65’s, so yes he is right when he says “its a little”

Mindymomo · 01/02/2021 20:50

Although having the vaccine is helping in the long run, he still has to live in lockdown, so although you are understandably happy for him, his circumstances are not going to change. I expect he will feel better about having had the vaccine once restrictions begin lifting and he can get to see you and grandchildren.

I am 59 and hope to have my vaccine maybe before end of March, if not April.

katy1213 · 01/02/2021 21:06

Why does he need to feel pleased?

MordredsOrrery · 01/02/2021 21:48

He sounds pretty realistic to me.

I doubt he's looking forward to the potential side effects (my friend was vaccinated about 3 weeks ago and it knocked her for six the following day). And, realistically, a vaccine that you're only getting half of and that has roughly a 90% chance of reducing the symptoms but doing nothing else doesn't feel amazing.

He can still catch it, he can still pass it on and he's still in lockdown.

Better than nothing, yes. Reason to party, no.

AllMyPrettyOnes · 02/02/2021 07:16

Do you want him to jump for joy or something?

Hammonds · 02/02/2021 07:21

My granny 88 has had both hers. She’s been stuck in the house for over a year. When I said ‘gran that’s fantastic news! You can start bobbing out to the shops again!’ She said ‘no I’m not in case the African variant gets me’

I think a lot of older people are very depressed

MarinPrime · 02/02/2021 07:35

He's being realistic.
The news about the South African variant has put a bit of a damper on vaccine enthusiasm for a lot of people.
An "expert" on the Today programme this morning is saying a booster vaccine may be needed.
So there will be more lockdown and waiting while that gets sorted.

rattlemehearties · 02/02/2021 07:39

You seem very controlling/dictating of how he should feel, op. Do your parents do the same about your feelings? He's right to feel meh - nothing will change in the short term. We should all still socially distance and it's still lockdown. Vaccination will only start impacting our lives positively when a bigger tranche of people have received it

PersonaNonGarter · 02/02/2021 07:42

It sounds like he wasn’t realistic about catching the virus.

Once he has had the first vaccine the risk of death and hospitalisation plunges. Definitely reason to be pleased. Unless you’re the sort of person who thinks it would never happen to them.

Whyistheteacold · 02/02/2021 07:48

I agree with PP that he is being realistic. We are still in lockdown, he still can't see family or go back to normal life, he can still catch it and pass it on, and with the new variant as well who knows how effective the vaccines are 🤷‍♀️

SilverGlitterBaubles · 02/02/2021 07:53

My ILs are the same OP, they have shunned the offer of vaccines at a city vaccination centres because 'there will be all sorts of people there' and want to wait for a GP appointment which means waiting weeks. They are also not that excited by it and pick holes in the effectiveness of the vaccines available, not anti vax or anything like that just glass half empty thinking.

DenisetheMenace · 02/02/2021 07:56

Not sure where he’s been getting his information? All approved Covid vaccines offer an unusually high degree of protection, most from the first dose. Flu vaccine is usually only between the 50-60% efficacy mark. You need to point this out.

CherryValanc · 02/02/2021 08:08

@PersonaNonGarter

It sounds like he wasn’t realistic about catching the virus.

Once he has had the first vaccine the risk of death and hospitalisation plunges. Definitely reason to be pleased. Unless you’re the sort of person who thinks it would never happen to them.

It doesn't "plundge" after the first dose. The risk will decrease after the first dose, and it takes several weeks before that happens too. There's a variety of percentage decrease decrease I depending on what vaccine and age/health of the person who received it. The OP's father will have to carry on how he is now after his first dose.

OP i'd say he's just reached the point where his resilience is breaking. If he's still going to get the vaccine what's the issue, it doesn't need him to be thrilled about it.

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