Is anyone else finding this week tough?

[Seaair2]

Since the beginning of lockdown 3 I’ve tried to remain positive etc but this week I just feel I’ve hit a bit of a brick wall with it all! For the first time since this all began I’ve sort of stopped and thought what on Earth is going on, it’s awful and scary that no one knows what problems more new variations will bring etc in the future. Is anyone else the same, doing quite well keeping positive then the next week feeling a bit rubbish about it all?

@Fembot123 awful to hear about your friends little girl so scary.

Yes I’m really struggling too. Even the usual “look at my perfect life” types on FB seem to be struggling. We’re OK with the homeschooling but for me it’s the endless monotony of making and cleaning up after 3 meals, drinks and snacks for everyone a day. I’m having to load and unload the dishwasher 3 times a day! Every time I walk through the kitchen, it’s all messed up again. I spend all my break and lunch times doing housework. It might sound like a small thing, but it symbolises how boring and samey my life has become. That and trying to go for endless walks along the same route in the rain every single day. It’s doesn’t help that I do actually have SAD and I’m due on my period too 🙈

Yes and I'm kinda glad others are as well, so it's not just me. Just feels like groundhog day with no end in sight, no glimmer of hope.

February will be fully locked down. We'll see the beginning of the end of this in March, I think, though obviously not all at once. I think once we can see a few things happening, however small, we'll feel that we're on the right path.

One more month of this, and it's the shortest month of the year.

I’m struggling now. This is the worst I’ve felt. Yr 12 DC is almost at breakdown point with studying A Levels from home and is also an only child, so no company. DH and I working flat out from home in senior roles so we are pulled into constant meetings that we can no way get out of, to support her during the day. Where we can claw back time, we do but inevitably ends in evening working then.

I’m exhausted because my DC can’t sleep, so I stay up with her because I just hear her crying in her room if I leave her on her own.
I’m constantly worried about my DC’s future because it seems so hopeless for the exam year kids.

As fed up as I am, I know it will come to pass but I’d be a liar if I didn’t admit that I’m scared about the future.

I don’t care about myself at all. I just care that everything seems to be going so badly for my DC and it’s affecting her opportunities but far worse, her personality. And this week it’s really getting to me.

This week and last week have been really tough. The situation will change, of course it will. But I can't help feeling life will never be the same again, and not in a good way. I swing from being traumatised by the horror of it all, to ground down by the monotony. It's grim. But deep down I know things will get better.

My DH told me the other day he thought I was handling all this beautifully (though he is very kind in many ways that kind of comment is unusual for him so it meant that much more) but I do feel this week that things are especially crap. And I fully acknowledge I am incredibly lucky in my set-up - I have a job that pays well, I wfh (wouldn’t be allowed in my office even if I wanted to go), both DCs go to schools that provide reasonably well for online learning, we have a garden and access to woods on our doorstep. We are all reasonably healthy and have no particular reason ourselves to fear COVID, but are doing everything within and beyond the rules to avoid it.

I have never been one of those selfless martyr-type mothers who subsumes her whole self into her children, but I do feel right now that I could cope with any length lockdown for myself if it could get my DCs back into school. The November lockdown was tedious but much more bearable than this one because I knew DCs were at school and seeing their friends and able to do sport and dance. If they could find some way to open the schools after the half-term (I’d give up my vaccination place for a teacher!) that would lift my mood immeasurably.

Of course I recognise others have different life set-ups and different, probably more pressing, reasons for despair now. I do hope everyone on this thread is able to find ways to cope and get through what are going to be some really hard weeks.

I am actually, and I've been doing OK until now.

No major practical worries, in that we don't have kids, I'm earning, I've always worked at home so that hasn't changed, etc. But my DP is hardly working or earning, so I guess subliminally there's that pressure on me as the breadwinner, as well as to keep his spirits up a bit because it's depressing not being able to work. And he's down this week because he just had his birthday, which we celebrated with just dinner with the household and a Zoom 'get-together' another night. He'd usually have a big party with lots of friends, and it's really got to him. So I have to buoy him up a bit too.

I'm also feeling physically a bit rickety –have recently taken up a new kind of exercise and am not sure I can sustain it –which is making me feel old and rather low.

[quote lollipoprainbow]@Fembot123 awful to hear about your friends little girl so scary. [/quote]
It was and is absolutely horrendous, thanks x

It’s an old cliche, but nevertheless true, that the darkest hour is just before dawn.
The UK’s vaccine rollout is the third fastest in the entire world, six million doses already given, infection rates are dropping steadily, all the vulnerable groups and over 70’s should be covered by the end of Feb.
This really is the home straight - we can see the finish line, we just need to push on that wee bit longer. If you cast your mind back, late January was always a miserable time of year anyway - cold, dark, endless, Spring seeming ages away, colds and flu rampant - this year is just amplified by the lockdown.
Do what you always did this time of year. Look forward to spring and summer, when restrictions will be lifted, and life’s many pleasures become possible again. Dream of meeting family and friends, going to shows, playing sports, travelling. It will happen, however far off it feels at the moment.
I should add, I am not some cheery Pollyanna type- -I live alone and have suffered long covid for the past ten months, still breathless at a hundred yards, and unable to see my DDs 50 miles away. I have days when I cry too, but I do have faith that this is nearly over. Chins up, MNetters, we will get there.

Yep. I'm not a parent so no homeschooling challenges, I WFH which I'm really thankful for, we are warm and safe and everyone we love is healthy, but last week and this week I've found so hard, I'm sat here crying in my PJs when I should be working. DH hasn't worked for almost a year despite applying for loads and loads of jobs and he's so downhearted, we are both trying to keep cheery and be thankful for what we have but tbh I'm right out of thankfulness and my usual annoying Pollyanna cheer has downright deserted me. Everything feels pointless.

I read a local news story last night about a young mother of 5 that has died of covid this week and it pretty much sent me over the edge.

Just feels like it will never end, and all the stories about the new strains / vaccinations potentially not being effective are too much. I'm not even that bothered about socialising, or being able to go to the pub or whatever, I just want things to "feel" normal and for life not to be constantly imbued with worry, about the virus, and about the future .

@Babdoc

It’s an old cliche, but nevertheless true, that the darkest hour is just before dawn. The UK’s vaccine rollout is the third fastest in the entire world, six million doses already given, infection rates are dropping steadily, all the vulnerable groups and over 70’s should be covered by the end of Feb. This really is the home straight - we can see the finish line, we just need to push on that wee bit longer. If you cast your mind back, late January was always a miserable time of year anyway - cold, dark, endless, Spring seeming ages away, colds and flu rampant - this year is just amplified by the lockdown. Do what you always did this time of year. Look forward to spring and summer, when restrictions will be lifted, and life’s many pleasures become possible again. Dream of meeting family and friends, going to shows, playing sports, travelling. It will happen, however far off it feels at the moment. I should add, I am not some cheery Pollyanna type- -I live alone and have suffered long covid for the past ten months, still breathless at a hundred yards, and unable to see my DDs 50 miles away. I have days when I cry too, but I do have faith that this is nearly over. Chins up, MNetters, we will get there.

Thanks @Babdoc, hope you start to get some strength back soon. I will keep my three chins up 😁

I felt like that last week. The uncertainty is getting to me much more now than it did almost all of last year (I think I had written off 2020 in my mind so had very low expectations anyway).

This miserably cold, wet and grey weather is definitely not helping although mornings are already getting lighter at least.

Yes, feel overwhelmed by it all this week.
Not helped by having very low iron and a really heavy period, so also feel slightly spaced out by everything.
I'm worried the government will start lifting restrictions too early again, leaving us lurching from lockdown to cases rising and back to lockdown again.
The possibility of having to move is looming it's head, if we lose our rental property, but we can't afford in this area which causes a whole other slew of problems.
Dh is stressed and worried about work and the future.
We are waiting to hear if ds has a place in a special school for secondary, but can't for the life of me see how we are going to facilitate transition, especially as he has shielded for most of the year.
I am worn down and look and feel about 100.

What a lovely post Babdoc . I hope you get back to your usual health soon.

Yep, am very lucky, retired, healthy but it's my birthday next week and think that is having an effect. Also just nothing for anyone to look forward to/focus on; Dd cancelled wedding and moved to this November and now doubts are starting about that being allowed and the anticipation/planning is part of the fun.

I worry the government will lift restrictions too soon too.

I read somewhere at 2.00am this morning that a legal case against Boris and the 100000 deaths had been launched. But l can’t find it now.

I'm not even that bothered about socialising, or being able to go to the pub or whatever, I just want things to "feel" normal and for life not to be constantly imbued with worry, about the virus, and about the future

Yes that is how I feel @Schmooopy. I am sorry your husband is having such a hard time finding work I hope things look up for him soon.

...I think it's these bits when there is a wait for announcements and decisions, I find hardest, it's like a swell in the storm. When we know where we are, I adjust and crack on with what we've got to do.
I think I'm finding it tough hearing about the vaccine - I am obviously hopeful and thankful that it is being rolled out so well, and glad for my fil, uncle and my mum's best friend, who called this week to say how pleased they were to get jabbed, that it felt like hope...that makes me very happy. But it is making me grieve my mum, who would have been getting her vaccination if she hadn't died suddenly in June, and worry so much for ds who is too young for one, but is so vulnerable. My mum and I talked so much about how she and ds would be able to hug and play again on 'the other side of Covid' and obviously that now won't happen, and I feel like there is no plan for the few children like ds, who are medically vulnerable and have shielded for so long.

I'm not sure these endless doom and gloom threads help ,yes it's shit and the UK hit a grim milestone yesterday but on the positive side case numbers are falling massively and the vaccine roll out is well under way , restrictions will be lifted of course they will , January and February are always hard months .

...sorry about long posts, have melted into a maudlin mess.
Will pull self together.

This is a bleak week. A combination of long term lockdown, the time of year, and the sad announcement of 100,000 plus lives lost.
The press conferences are realistic, and Boris is no longer full of optimism.

It will pass though, OP.
Whoever said, upthread, that the darkest hour is before dawn, is absolutely right.
We just have to hang on in, be kind to each other, and take things one day at a time.
Awfully sad times.

@Mindymomo

I’m sitting here in tears after watching Good Morning Britain remembering some of the 100,000 lives that were tragically lost.

My condolences go to all those who have lost someone.

I wanted to watch it for them & their families, it's heartbreaking, but I had to turn it over, it was ramping up my anxiety too much.

I'm terrified of dying alone in hospital

The people on the news yesterday didn't look that bad, but died the night they filmed their interviews.

I can cope with the lockdown, I'm struggling with the thought of dying like that.

@x2boys

I'm not sure these endless doom and gloom threads help ,yes it's shit and the UK hit a grim milestone yesterday but on the positive side case numbers are falling massively and the vaccine roll out is well under way , restrictions will be lifted of course they will , January and February are always hard months .

I think people sharing that they feel down and are struggling is a good thing. It's healthy to be able to express these feelings especially as in real life a lot of people are putting on a brave face for their family, children etc.

Yes I've had a huge slump this week after bumbling along ok for most of the last year. I feel very guilty because compared to most I am incredibly lucky - DH and I both wfh in good jobs and both children are in nursery which is (touch wood) still open. I just feel so incredibly depressed, like a black cloud has descended on me.

I feel despair looking ahead at weeks and months more of this, and like I'm treading water just existing and not living. I am finding it hard to feel motivated or enthused about anything and am having horrible ruminating thoughts which I suffer with sometimes. I am pretty sure I could be diagnosed with something on the basis of how I feel lately but I am desperately trying to stay on an even keel, take it all day by day, and fight the dark cloud away again.

I definitely feel that a lot of people are struggling particularly badly at the moment, I know it's not just me.