I’m worried about the mental health of the nation due to covid restrictions

[Maplebeth]

This applies from those to children to those in their early 20s.

My niece and nephew both graduated from University in the summer and have started new jobs remotely. They are obviously very thankful that they have been able to find work, but both are seriously struggling with depression, loneliness and aniexty due to not being able to meet co workers and feel like they cannot fully get to grips with their new roles. Learning from more experienced co workers is critical and this cannot be done remotely.

My children are both young and I worry about the effect this has on their education and their overall well being. I did work experience in schools (which led me to realise teacher training wasn’t for me) and the teachers with whom I spoke told me that children will just easily forget the information if they aren’t always being told and listening (for example when the kids go off for the summer holidays, they come back and struggle with what they were doing in class). My husband and I are both key workers, however I am able to work remotely so am trying to homeschool them but am struggling very much. My children are so devastated and miss their nana cousins school friends and auntie and uncles so much. I don’t know if I made the right decision not taking a key worker place. My husband is a police officer and members of the public are being increasingly hostile towards him and his colleagues for trying to do their jobs to protect the community and keep the public safe (and no they aren’t giving women with coffees fines).

I am normally a very positive, optimistic person but I am struggling to see how long this can go on for without some very damaging consequences to the mental health of our nation. We live up North and have been in covid restrictions for a very long time.

I think the whole world is feeling it?
I'm very thankful for technology, imagine without it!

Children need to over learn, young dc...

@LickEmbysmiling

I think the whole world is feeling it? I'm very thankful for technology, imagine without it!

Children need to over learn, young dc...

I think what I’m trying to say is I’m trying to educate them the best I can and I’m worried what I’m doing is not good enough.

Me and my husband both came from low income families, and the reason we are where we are today is because we had our heads screwed on in school and got a good education. I’m terrified my children won’t have these opportunities because of me.

I think people are pretty resilient.

When you look at what people went through during the war, when you look at survivors of the Holocaust. When you look at refugees from current wars - people (mostly) cope.

I think it's pessimistic to suggest that the nation is struggling with their mental health, to be honest. Some people undoubtedly are and it's been a tough year for many.

I have a DC (Y11) who is a bit pissed off, but doing ok. He'll bounce back from this and so will many others. I've also got DCs in their 20s and they have carried on working as normal - or as normal as possible. Two are nurses. DS works from home. Yes, life is dull and stressful but they don't think it's forever.

I appreciate that life has been different for all - and not fun for any - but that's why I think you can't generalise about everyone's mental health.

I think that a lot of people will be affected
But I also think you’re being a bit drama llama. For some kids it will have been a welcome break from the pressure of the school environment.
It also suits some adults to lead a simpler life with no expectations of socialising. I know a good few people like that and others who say it’s honestly not made that much difference to them.

The point about work is a good one - remote working is fine once you’re up and running but then who inducts the new people and how do they learn just from being around others in the office?

PS - my daughter falls into the first category of enjoying the break from attending secondary school. Although I am concerned about the transition back

I agree, my DP left the police and started a new job in October. It was a huge step up in his career and he was so excited. Now he’s just depressed, it’s affecting the whole family because he is just miserable. Cannot connect with new colleagues, doesn’t know where to turn to ask for help, doesn’t know anyone from the new company.

They have lots of ‘meetings’ but he can’t get anything done, he feels like everyone is trying to justify their jobs and taking work that’s meant to be his that he was literally employed to do because it’s a nice juicy interesting job.

I dread what is going to happen when we come out of this. I’m on mat leave and go back to work soon, I’ll be working from home too. I hated it last year, I like interacting and so do most I speak with.

It’s getting increasingly harder to think of the bigger picture and stay strong.

@RuggerbyBuggery

Mine too, sadly. He's doing bugger all work for his exams (or teacher assessed grades...) He's missing his mates, but not having to go to school makes up for that. He doesn't like school.

OP, our hospitals are barely coping with current covid cases even with the lockdown. More than a thousand people a day are dying. If you want schools opened and all young people released from lockdown before the vaccine rollout is completed, in order to help their education and mental health, you are asking for the collapse of the NHS and a huge rise in infections and deaths.
None of us like the restrictions and of course they are detrimental to mental health, but there is no rational alternative.

@NovemberR

I think people are pretty resilient.

When you look at what people went through during the war, when you look at survivors of the Holocaust. When you look at refugees from current wars - people (mostly) cope.

I think it's pessimistic to suggest that the nation is struggling with their mental health, to be honest. Some people undoubtedly are and it's been a tough year for many.

I have a DC (Y11) who is a bit pissed off, but doing ok. He'll bounce back from this and so will many others. I've also got DCs in their 20s and they have carried on working as normal - or as normal as possible. Two are nurses. DS works from home. Yes, life is dull and stressful but they don't think it's forever.

I appreciate that life has been different for all - and not fun for any - but that's why I think you can't generalise about everyone's mental health.

People always say this but (a) using the Holocaust as a measure is setting an incredibly low bar and (b) many many people came out out ww2 extremely mentally scarred. One side of my family was Jewish and those who had been in camps had HUGE ongoing issues, but in those days that was hushed up, and even those with an 'easier' war still often came out.with issues.

Of course, this is not on a par with the suffering of wars in the past or present, but it is still.suffering - lower mortality but the need to defy all our natural instincts to gather together in a crisis is causing oversized damage.

@RuggeryBuggery

I think that a lot of people will be affected But I also think you’re being a bit drama llama. For some kids it will have been a welcome break from the pressure of the school environment. It also suits some adults to lead a simpler life with no expectations of socialising. I know a good few people like that and others who say it’s honestly not made that much difference to them.

The point about work is a good one - remote working is fine once you’re up and running but then who inducts the new people and how do they learn just from being around others in the office?

I’m sure my kids will be okay and I really hope that they don’t remember this period of their lives. My extended family are very close and we normally see each other most days so not being able to see them has been torture. We have kept in contact through Zoom and thankfully had Christmas but I think everyone (me included) can’t bear Zoom anymore.

@FTEngineerM

I agree, my DP left the police and started a new job in October. It was a huge step up in his career and he was so excited. Now he’s just depressed, it’s affecting the whole family because he is just miserable. Cannot connect with new colleagues, doesn’t know where to turn to ask for help, doesn’t know anyone from the new company.

They have lots of ‘meetings’ but he can’t get anything done, he feels like everyone is trying to justify their jobs and taking work that’s meant to be his that he was literally employed to do because it’s a nice juicy interesting job.

I dread what is going to happen when we come out of this. I’m on mat leave and go back to work soon, I’ll be working from home too. I hated it last year, I like interacting and so do most I speak with.

It’s getting increasingly harder to think of the bigger picture and stay strong.

I am so sorry to hear about your husband. Starting a new job is so hard, but in lockdown it is just another level. And it doesn’t help when you hear people talk about how much they love it and how it’s the future and how they can never see themselves going back to an office.

People need this contact, they need to build friendships in the workplace, they need mentoring, you cannot get this from WFH.

Yes ofc this unnatural way of living is stressful and long term stress is bad for mental health. But there isn't really an alternative until we get a handle on the virus. It's all shit really.

One of the most frustrating things for me is looking at countries who have tackled it better where the restrictions haven't lasted as long and where they've had fewer deaths. I do wish we had their health system and government rather than the poor version we're saddled with. I know that thinking like this doesn't help my mental health nor does dwelling on how shit it is but the thoughts are still there. I guess you just have to work with what you've got. At least we're not in Russia or Brazil I guess.

@Babdoc

OP, our hospitals are barely coping with current covid cases even with the lockdown. More than a thousand people a day are dying. If you want schools opened and all young people released from lockdown before the vaccine rollout is completed, in order to help their education and mental health, you are asking for the collapse of the NHS and a huge rise in infections and deaths. None of us like the restrictions and of course they are detrimental to mental health, but there is no rational alternative.

I totally understand what you are saying I do not have the answers. But the point is one of my closest friends has tried to commit suicide three times in lockdown and has ended up hospitalised. She then tested positive for COVID after getting it in hospital (was tested on admission and was negative so clearly picked up in hospital). It makes me wonder how many people are also in this situation.

Op how old are your dc?

Psychiatrists and mh experts have pointed out there was a huge spike in mh problems after WW2. People didn't just cope, lots of people were permanently damaged by it.

And its not a race to the bottom. I am not coping well, I've cried 3 times today because I just don't feel I can keep going on like this. In fact without my dc I would probably end it as existence is so miserable.

It doesn't help when people accuse you of wanting to kill people or essentially tell you to get a grip.

@LickEmbysmiling

Op how old are your dc?

My twins are 5 and in year 1. I know that this is a crucial time for them in terms of learning and development. With me and their dad working I feel like I’m just sticking them in front of screens 24/7 which I really did not want to do. I didn’t feel it was right sending them into school as my husband is a key worker dealing with members of the public everyday whom he cannot socially distance from. I didn’t want my children to go into school and possibly spread the virus to their teacher. My husband has already had a COVID positive test result a few months ago, but neither me or the twins developed any symptoms, but he was also a symptomatic. We are not CV so not sure if we could have had it or not also.

I understand Op - I’m so sick of dc’s just being on screens all day. I do think that ultimately they will be ok though, especially when the weather improves and we can get out more. I think getting the kids back to school will be the absolute priority once numbers drop to acceptable levels.

@Maplebeth thanks, I feel for the younger ones like your niece/nephew that haven’t m is anything else with work life. It’s meant to be a fun time starting work after uni and I can imagine it’s hell.

My grandma’s father was at Dunkirk and saw horrific sights. There was no counselling then. 1 week on leave at home then back on duty. He struggled with alcoholism and what would now be called PTSD his entire life. Millions of people suffered in the war. It wasn’t talked about or treated, they were left to get on with it but it didn’t mean they all lived happy lives.

www.google.co.uk/amp/s/www.bbc.com/news/amp/stories-48528841

www.google.co.uk/amp/s/amp.theguardian.com/society/2020/dec/27/covid-poses-greatest-threat-to-mental-health-since-second-world-war

I’m very concerned about people’s mental health. Particularly the young. I thought things were going along hunky dory.

I’ve had job issues (I’m on my third job in six months!). Which of course have worried me, but on the other hand it’s given me a focus, something to actively fight for. It’s taken up a lot of my time and energy. When I stopped to check in with friends, I’ve been shocked to hear their own struggles and what is happening with their children. Attempted suicides, dropping out of school, depression, anxiety and psychosis. Not one kid, but 4 different ones!

I’m aware now and I’m trying to be more engaged via text. The restrictions mean I can’t be there for cups of tea, or to suggest outings, give hugs, or hold a hand. Sucks really.

And these are people who are not vulnerable. They are intact families in leafy suburbs, in good jobs, own their homes, kids with no learning challenges, etc. If this is how they are doing, what must it be like for more vulnerable people with less support?

Children are not as resilient as many people breezily say. We seemed to have payed little thought to them as a society and made them a low priority. These are the people we need to carry the country in our old age. I guess we’ll get what we deserve.

@Empressofthemundane I saw a post on here the other day of a mother saying her kids were developing OCD tendencies and other parents were
blaming her for letting her child watch the news. I went in my town centre today to run some errands with DC and saw a huge billboard with an ICU patient saying “act like you have the virus” how do you hide children from things like this? I find it very unnerving as an adult...

@MotherForker I agree I am fucking sick to the back teeth of people being called selfish and cov idiots because broken the rules to see someone ... my friend killed him self Thursday and I am gutted .. 2 others last weekend and whoever keeps posting the figures for mental health not going up is taking bollocks .... I spoke to 2 nurses and doctors today at the vaccine centre I was at today .... covid and depression is all they get calls for , there is and will be a massive rise after this ... covid is bad /depression is bad and until you suffer then you really don't know

@WalrusWife really interesting articles. I feel like this will effects of this lockdown will definitely be longstanding

I think you are right to be concerned and it does my head in when people talk about 'needing to be resilient'. Bully for you if you can manage that, but it's so unnatural what people are going through at the moment.

I've been treated for anxiety and depression and it's well known that downward spirals in your MH are often associated with your world getting smaller - eg not being able to exercise regularly, see friends and family, work etc. In a normal world it can be your illness that shrinks your world and stops you making improvements but because it's being forced on us I can see how more and more people are noticing the effects on their MH.

I'd like to see our government be observant of this and properly fund our MH service but I imagine itll be bottom priority as usual.