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Original poster

Friend in tears over support bubble

44 replies

MarylinMonrue · 22/01/2021 16:09

Had a friend on the phone in tears today because she isn't being allowed by her housemates (a couple) to form a support bubble with her bf who lives alone and is v low risk as is also working from home. Am I right in thinking this is really unfair? Because one of the couple has anxiety my friend isn't allowed to have a relationship she is allowed legally?

More of an AIBU maybe but I feel awful for her.

OP posts:

FindHungrySamurai · 22/01/2021 16:11

How would they actually stop her from going to visit him?

TheDuchessOfBeddington · 22/01/2021 16:13

When you say housemate what do you mean? Is she a lodger? Do they own the place? Are they the lead tenants?

Can she move in with him?

RedMarauder · 22/01/2021 16:13

How would they actually stop her from going to visit him?

She needs to tell them she is seeing her boyfriend as he lives alone and WFH.

They can kick off and report her to the police or whoever but as long he lives alone there is nothing they can do.

smallandimperfectlyformed · 22/01/2021 16:14

I don't really understand the support bubbles rules but I really do feel for your friend. People in shared houses seem to be being asked quite a lot of as I think there are quite strict rules about who they can see/meet up with. Is there no possibility she could move in with her bf for a while? Obviously that is a big step and it really seems unfair of the couple she lives with to be asking her to make that sacrifice. Oh it's all so horrible, I am sorry

redcarbluecar · 22/01/2021 16:16

Maybe fair enough if they don’t want him over, but they can’t stop her going to see him unless they have some unusual form of control over her.

LividLoving · 22/01/2021 16:16

If she’s a lodger I think they need to part ways.

If they are joint housemates, I also wouldn’t be happy if I was them and would choose to part ways, but realistically they can’t stop her, can they. Are they proposing to lock her up?

justchecking1 · 22/01/2021 16:18

Have the couple already formed some sort of bubble with someone else?

By forming a bubble your friend would be committing her housemates to be in a bubble with her BF and so they wouldn't be able to bubble with anyone else.

I think they'd all have to agree to it, just in case they have a bubble that would maybe take precedence?

Can she just move in with the BF?

oo0Tinkerbell0oo · 22/01/2021 16:20

Are the rules not 2 adults in a relationship not living together can form a bubble but they have to be the only adult in that household. Someone correct me if i'm wrong as my partner and i haven't seen each other because of this rule.

Calmandmeasured1 · 22/01/2021 16:21

Isn't it a household though that forms a support bubble with a single adult household (or with a two-adult household with a child under one at 2nd December 2020)?

They all need to come to an agreement because by the OP's friend having a support bubble with her bf, it prevents them from forming one with another single adult household. Do they already have a bubble with someone else or are they just too anxious to have anyone else included as part off their household?

Does the OP's friend mean they are stopping him from coming to their household?

Original poster

MarylinMonrue · 22/01/2021 16:23

She's a lodger, and cant move in with him because it would be more difficult for her to go into work (she is still working outside the home). They are stopping her from seeing him outside the household and from inside their house.

OP posts:

FindHungrySamurai · 22/01/2021 16:26

You've explained that she can’t move in with him, but she could stay with him at the weekend, or go out to meet up with him. How could they stop her?

smallandimperfectlyformed · 22/01/2021 16:26

Poor woman, that is shit.

Original poster

MarylinMonrue · 22/01/2021 16:26

They've already said they're not interested in bubbling with anyone else.

OP posts:

Floralnomad · 22/01/2021 16:27

Do you mean it would be more travel to her place of work ? If that’s the case then she needs to make a choice , her landlords are entitled to say they don’t want him in their house , I don’t see how they can control what she does outside of the home .

PandemicPalava · 22/01/2021 16:27

@MarylinMonrue are they already in a bubble with someone else? If yes, she can't, if no, and they have no intention of, she can (legally). So difficult in shared houses as one bubble is everyone's bubble

FindHungrySamurai · 22/01/2021 16:27

Ah, now I understand - are they threatening to kick her out if she bubbles with him? Sad, but as a lodger she has very little rights.

FlossieTeacakesFurCoat18 · 22/01/2021 16:28

Can she just pick up a lot of "overtime" at work?

MRex · 22/01/2021 16:28

She needs to move in that case, it isn't practical to share with people who can't be fair given the current rules. They are a couple, it's very unfair not to allow her to have a support bubble.

BibbityBobbety · 22/01/2021 16:31

Well legally they don't have a leg to stand on. As a single person is allowed to bubble with another household. Since the couple don't have (and have no intention to) another bubble, she can legally be her bfs bubble (provided he doesn't have a bubble either, but seems he doesn't?).

As a lodger obv it's harder as they can enforce what they want in their home. Depends on what her contract says but they couldn't actually stop her meeting him. She's not doing anything illegal. Unless they just make her life difficult to live at home, nothing else they can do. And if they kick her out, she could find somewhere else surely? They can't be the only people she can live with?

smallandimperfectlyformed · 22/01/2021 16:31

Basically they are happy together and because one of them has anxiety they think they have the right to keep a couple apart for months. I really don't understand how they can look at themselves for expecting her to give up so much for them. I hope she is able to move out away from them as soon as possible, that's really unfair on her.

FiveNightsAtMummys · 22/01/2021 16:34

Does the couple she live with already have a support bubble? I have no idea on rules with lodgers etc but I thought a household could only have 1 support bubble so maybe if they already have one that's why?

XenoBitch · 22/01/2021 16:34

If your friend forms a bubble with her boyfriend then the couple she lives with would be part of that bubble too. If they are not already in a bubble with someone else (which would sadly mean your friend is not free to form one anyway), then they sound incredibly mean to stop your friend seeing her boyfriend. The couple blaming anxiety is a shit excuse TBH... assuming your friend goes to visit her boyfriend and not bring him to her house then I can not see how it is relevant in any way.
I hope something gets sorted for her as it just sounds like an all round shitty situation to be in.

redsquirrelfan · 22/01/2021 16:34

@MarylinMonrue

They can't stop her meeting him outside the household. They can of course stop her from seeing him in their house.

She doesn't have to explain to them where she is going every time she goes out, she's a grown woman.

XenoBitch · 22/01/2021 16:37

@oo0Tinkerbell0oo

Only one of you has to be the only adult living alone. So if either you or your partner lives alone, you can form a bubble.

Beautiful3 · 22/01/2021 16:40

They cannot stop her from physically seeing her bf. If they ask she can say that shes going for a walk, to the shops etc. However there may be rows and they may kick her out. Maybe it's time for her to move out and find her own bedsit?

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