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Original poster

Friend in tears over support bubble

44 replies

MarylinMonrue · 22/01/2021 16:09

Had a friend on the phone in tears today because she isn't being allowed by her housemates (a couple) to form a support bubble with her bf who lives alone and is v low risk as is also working from home. Am I right in thinking this is really unfair? Because one of the couple has anxiety my friend isn't allowed to have a relationship she is allowed legally?

More of an AIBU maybe but I feel awful for her.

OP posts:
Original poster
MarylinMonrue · 22/01/2021 16:46

finding a new place is pretty impossible where she is in London atm on her salary.

OP posts:
seasideseas · 22/01/2021 16:47

She needs to move out.

I'm vulnerable. I wouldn't allow my kids to form a bubble because they live here with me and I'm in charge!

seasideseas · 22/01/2021 16:47

"finding a new place is pretty impossible where she is in London atm on her salary."

Is she living with her parents?

Original poster
MarylinMonrue · 22/01/2021 16:50

No, she lodges with a couple, neither of whom are vulnerable.

OP posts:
MolyHolyGuacamole · 22/01/2021 16:50

@seasideseas

She needs to move out.

I'm vulnerable. I wouldn't allow my kids to form a bubble because they live here with me and I'm in charge!

Luckily for her she's not a child 🤷🏽‍♀️
seasideseas · 22/01/2021 16:52

"Luckily for her she's not a child 🤷🏽‍♀️"

Quite, and so should find somewhere else to live. Their house, their rules.

It's the same thing.

Myshinynewname · 22/01/2021 16:54

It's rubbish for her, but I can see the landlord's point of view as well. They are choosing not to use support bubbles to minimise their risk. That seems a sensible decision during a pandemic. They don't know her boyfriend and have no idea how well he is social distancing or who else he is mixing with. They would get no benefit from him bubbling with them whatsoever, only increased risk.
As a lodger she has to follow the house rules. If she doesn't like them she can live somewhere else. She could move in with him and inconvenience herself a bit but she doesn't want to.

MRex · 22/01/2021 16:59

she lodges with a couple, neither of whom are vulnerable
Careful not to over-egg it, you don't know the medical history of people your mate lodges with.
There will be other options if she looks about.

MynephewR · 22/01/2021 17:03

They have no control over who she sees outside of their home. Awful people! Honestly what is the world coming to when people think they can force another adult to keep away from their partner Sad

Porcupineintherough · 22/01/2021 17:06

It depends how badly she wants to live there. They cant stop her seeing him but if they find out she may be asked to leave. I think it sounds like time for her to move on.

Teaseller · 22/01/2021 17:07

She needs to find a new place to live. The London rental market is less tough now cause of Covid. There are lots of rooms going in shared houses and she could talk to them upfront about seeing her bf, I think a lot of housemates would accept that, she's hardly asking to host raves

Pumpertrumper · 22/01/2021 17:13

Legally they can’t stop her.

Morally they are allowed to feel safe and would be well within their rights to ask a lodger to leave if they feel they are endangering their safety.

Lodging is a funny business and it’s not like renting it’s not a case of ‘I pay for my room so I can just do whatever I like as long as it doesn’t breach a contract clause’ it’s a situation where you pay less (than renting your own property) in exchange for living by ‘house rules’ and not p***g your landlords off.

I lodged in London and wasn’t allowed any male guests in the home and female guests only by prior arrangement. Those were their rules. I lived by them because I got an entire floor of a beautiful house in zone 3 for £650pm including bills! If your friend doesn’t want to move then she has to suck it up and live by the rules.

Mummyoflittledragon · 22/01/2021 17:18

She needs to move out. She will find something else.

MolyHolyGuacamole · 22/01/2021 19:13

@seasideseas

"Luckily for her she's not a child 🤷🏽‍♀️"

Quite, and so should find somewhere else to live. Their house, their rules.

It's the same thing.

Not if they're charging her rent, they don't get to control her social life. As long as she's following the rules.
Porcupineintherough · 22/01/2021 19:16

@MolyHolyGuacamole but actually they can, in the sense that they just have to give her notice to move out. That's how it works w lodgers, you can ask them to leave because you dont like their taste in music, or because they smoke or for no reason at all.

ALondonMum2 · 22/01/2021 19:34

I think this thread shows how many people have stopped thinking and allowed their lives to be dictated by stupid, arbitrary rules. I meant this in a general sense (not as a criticism of OP or anyone on this thread). If you need to see your boyfriend or loved ones, just go and do it. What is the point of living if you let other people dictate a simple matter as this? People who are scared can hide forever which I honestly don't mind, but it is extremely selfish to want others to live the same way.

WalrusWife · 22/01/2021 20:30

It seems really harsh that single people can be stopped from seeing partners. I would be intrigued to see what would happen if women get pregnant by partners they don’t live with...

RedskyBynight · 22/01/2021 20:49

You can only form a support bubble if all adults agree.
So seeing her boyfriend without the consent of her housemates would be against the law.
If they did agree, they would also be agreeing to self isolate if the boyfriend comes down with Covid.

Porcupineintherough · 22/01/2021 20:51

...maybe they could ...move in together?

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