Going to be flamed but just asking

[swinglowsweetchariot12]

My mum died a few weeks ago, she always wanted her ashes scattered in Devon on a special date coming up soon and wondered if it would class as an essential visit or would we get risking a fine. We are travelling an hour and a half away.

Please be kind I've just lost my mum and want to carry out her wishes

I would do it. I'm so sorry for you loss

To be fair my mum would find it hilarious if we got pulled over, where ever she may be. I know she would be laughing going "silly sods"

I would, if this date has such a significant meaning to your mum, and I would pay the fine if it came to it.

I am so sorry for your loss.

I would postpone. Your mum would understand.

It’s likely it wouldn’t be classed as ‘essential’ considering only a few can attend funerals. But if it was me I’d absolutely do it! The chances of getting caught are slim and there’s always the chance the police would be understanding.

Hope it goes well and sorry for your loss

I would do it and risk the fine. I'm so sorry for your loss. I hope you manage to scatter her ashes.

I would do it. Too much has been screwed up the last year and people are out there taking the piss with masks, etc. Do it.

Hi sorry for your loss, I lost my mum 3 weeks ago so know how you’re feeling and honestly life’s too short to live with regret if you don’t do it! I would do it, you are allowed to go with up to 6 people for scattering ashes take care x

Sorry for your loss OP.

Would you or your companions be planning to visit a toilet or a shop or takeaway during your journey there and back?

These are the kinds of reasons we are to stay in our own area to limit the spread of a disease we may have no symptoms of as we are carriers but could spread it to someone and kill them. Or we could pick something up there and bring it home.

I have family ashes here with me. I am quite happy with that and will scatter them after this is all done. I appreciate for some this could be upsetting but I’m fine and actually feel comforted.

For me I feel I’d like all my family to be there with me on that day. To be able to hug them and cry together, go eat a meal in a place we have fond memories of, to do this on a date with family significance .

Some fraught journey on a random day in the cold without all those who would have wanted to be there, not being able to hug relatives seems a waste.
And we couldn’t have a meal or drink either.

That’s not what my loved one would have wanted. So I choose to wait. It’s up to you though.

@tmh88

Hi sorry for your loss, I lost my mum 3 weeks ago so know how you’re feeling and honestly life’s too short to live with regret if you don’t do it! I would do it, you are allowed to go with up to 6 people for scattering ashes take care x

Sorry for your loss too.

I just wondered about the distance, there would only be five of us

Xxx

It's within the guidelines but the police are being dicks about the guidelines and fining people anyway. It could make a difficult day ten times harder, so perhaps hold on to them until next year when hopefully you will be free to make a day of it, perhaps have a little wake of sorts afterwards with your family at a restaurant or something?

Have you checked if you need permission to scatter in the area you want to? You often do. Sorry for your loss.

I would absolutely do it OP. If you refuel before you set off/leave you neighbourhood and you don't stop en route, you really aren't doing any harm.
The chance you will get fined is minimal, police do have hearts

We scattered our parents ashes in the place they always said they wanted to be. This was in Lockdown 2 and involve a 120 mile round trip. We took the paper work for both of them from the Crem, a copy of both death certificates and a copy of their marriage certificate. As it was nobody stopped us, but, because my parents died within 7 months of each other (mum at the end of March and dad at the beginning of November), we were prepared to argue that keeping the ashes for any longer, especially Mum's would have impacted on our mental health so, therefore, it was essential. Do it, scattering is allowed and nowhere in the guidance does it say it has to be local.

Ash scatterings are allowed in the guidance so it's fine.

For both my Father and my Sister I waited until I felt ready and the right weather it was weeks.
I was glad I waited, it gave me a better perspective.

As stated above, this is allowed.

I had a similar situation. I didn't check the guidelines, just postponed scattering of the ashes, as we didn't feel it was an "essential journey".

It’s quite clearly allowed. I’ve no idea why so many are telling you it isn’t.

I’m sure it’ll be allowed we all travelled 15 miles out of area from where we and my mother lived for the crem and there was 16 of us that travelled within a range of 15-20 miles you will be ok and if you decide to do it I hope the day goes as well as it can

I'm so sorry about your mum 💐

If it was me I'd wait until next year or next Tuesday in January or whatever the special date is. Surely it doesn't have to be right now as I presume she didn't know for sure she'd have died already?

Also I'd wait until you have her ashes to make any decisions. I really didn't want to scatter my Dads ashes straight away, but felt it was my mums decision. I was so relieved when she asked me if I'd mind if we didn't snd if I'd be happy to scatter them together when she dies...I've told her & my siblings that I'll keep them both until I go then they can keep us or scatter us together

As far as the 'rules' are concerned, I can't see a problem with it, especially if you fuel up before you go and don't go into shops etc while there. I'd take wipes fir taps & door handles in case anyone needs a toilet stop.

Again, very sorry about your mum, it's so hard at anytime, but during the pandemic, so much more difficult x

So sorry OP

I'd do it

So sorry for your loss op

@OppsUpsSide

Have you checked if you need permission to scatter in the area you want to? You often do. Sorry for your loss.

Yes done

Devon and Cornwall police are being very heavy-handed in their interpretation of 'local'. Ten miles from home and they are fining people. They are also turning back cars from outside the county on the motorway and other main roads. I would wait till next year.