I can't go on like this

Youronlylimitisyourmind · 12/01/2021 12:21

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Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Hazelnutlatteplease · 12/01/2021 12:24

I get you.

But you will get through.

Vivana · 12/01/2021 12:27

I feel the same I've dealt with covid residents and was scared to get it. Wearing full ppe all day and now have to have 4 tests a week 3 lateral and 1 normal covid. My days off are going into have the tests done. I went to the doctors yesterday and he was going to sign me off with stress. I'm on anxiety meds now but we will see. And on top of this I have my own disabled dd who I have to help to....

WrongKindOfFace · 12/01/2021 12:28

It’s really shit. And it’s hard because there isn’t anything to look forward to. Can’t book or plan anything.

PurpleDaisies · 12/01/2021 12:29

It feels like a nightmare that we can't wake up from, and then you hear Whitty say that this years Christmas and winter may be under restrictions and I just can't cope with the thought of this not ending anytime soon.

He expanded on what he meant during one of yesterday’s interviews. He didn’t mean full lockdown or the sort of restrictions we had this year, just that there may still be to need to have some restrictions in the time of year when respiratory illnesses are worse.

There will have been mass vaccination by then so even if there are some restrictions, it really won’t be as bad as this year.

Original poster

JC17fj74 · 12/01/2021 12:33

@Vivana

I feel the same I've dealt with covid residents and was scared to get it. Wearing full ppe all day and now have to have 4 tests a week 3 lateral and 1 normal covid. My days off are going into have the tests done. I went to the doctors yesterday and he was going to sign me off with stress. I'm on anxiety meds now but we will see. And on top of this I have my own disabled dd who I have to help to....

🤗 hugs 💐 I'm sorry you have to deal with this and although I'm feeling like this I can't imagine the people having to wear full PPE all day and I really applaud them all 🙌🏼

OP posts:

Original poster

JC17fj74 · 12/01/2021 12:36

@PurpleDaisies

It feels like a nightmare that we can't wake up from, and then you hear Whitty say that this years Christmas and winter may be under restrictions and I just can't cope with the thought of this not ending anytime soon.

He expanded on what he meant during one of yesterday’s interviews. He didn’t mean full lockdown or the sort of restrictions we had this year, just that there may still be to need to have some restrictions in the time of year when respiratory illnesses are worse.

There will have been mass vaccination by then so even if there are some restrictions, it really won’t be as bad as this year.

Thank you for this. I think you hear so much snippets on the news, Facebook papers etc that sometimes you miss the full story. That's good to know I just hate the thought of the government putting everyone back into a lockdown again, I really wasn't anticipating this latest lockdown so I feel like I wasn't prepared for it like the first two I knew were coming this last one I chose to take myself away from the media and then it was a shock.

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moita · 12/01/2021 12:44

No advice OP but feeling the same. Fed up of going out for walks in the mud! I hold to the hope that things will be so much better in Spring. My grandfather just got his vaccine.

But don't feel guilty for feeling crap. It is really crap

MarshaBradyo · 12/01/2021 12:47

It will be different before Christmas. My Easter we’ll see change I reckon, around then anyway.

How old is your dc? It’s harder when they’re little

Original poster

JC17fj74 · 12/01/2021 12:50

@MarshaBradyo

It will be different before Christmas. My Easter we’ll see change I reckon, around then anyway.

How old is your dc? It’s harder when they’re little

Thank you 💐 He is nearly 4. Although we have been doing crafts, baking etc he is just so bored and then I find myself shouting at him because he's done something which isn't really his fault because he's a bored child that's missing out on things just as much as we are, and then I feel shit for shouting 😭

OP posts:

thesunwillout · 12/01/2021 12:51

Hi op you're not the alone and thanks for starting this thread, I've wanted to say something and post for a while but I didn't know how to word it.
Then I couldn't be bothered to try and word it as I thought what's the point as I can't cope with any more thinking about it.

I think, (I think) knowing we're not feeling ok and others are feeling the same helps with the isolation.
I've said I'm lucky, I'm lucky to myself, to DD (1st yr uni student affected badly in many ways), to my mother many times.

I'm so fed up too.

X

Original poster

JC17fj74 · 12/01/2021 12:56

@thesunwillout

Hi op you're not the alone and thanks for starting this thread, I've wanted to say something and post for a while but I didn't know how to word it. Then I couldn't be bothered to try and word it as I thought what's the point as I can't cope with any more thinking about it.

I think, (I think) knowing we're not feeling ok and others are feeling the same helps with the isolation.
I've said I'm lucky, I'm lucky to myself, to DD (1st yr uni student affected badly in many ways), to my mother many times.

I'm so fed up too.

X

Hugs 🤗 Thank you it's somehow comforting knowing we are all feeling like this and I don't even know why I made the post it just helps writing it down and talking to people 💐

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Mischance · 12/01/2021 12:58

You WILL get through this. You have to.

Sometimes life throws a curve ball and we have no choice but to bite the bullet. And hopefully our children will see us doing that and learn lessons as important as those at school.

I know it is hard. It is hard for everyone - all the things that we take for granted have been stripped away; but this is a chance to give our imaginations a workout and maybe capitalise on the great asset of the internet, where we can learn stuff and talk to others, buy equipment to take up a new hobby, educate our children, start interesting projects.

I am not minimising how you feel - I know it is tough, but we do have choices. We cannot stop bad things happening to us, but we can choose out response to it.

WishingHopingThinkingPraying · 12/01/2021 13:04

Hey, guys, it's ok. The situation is making you ill. It's doing that to some people. If you are currently safe and ok financially, then it really is just the situation and fear around it. I'm honestly not worried (for ourselves) anymore. I had a breakdown in the first lockdown and that was my first time to experience bad mental health. It was scary. But now that I'm well again, I can see how dangerous and trapping anxiety and depression are. The illness is your problem op, not the situation (though the situation has triggered it).

Please seek support from your GP if you're not coping. And be aware that there are people who are not scared, content and all round ok, that is where you need to get to.

None of this is your fault and you've nothing to feel guilty for. But you do need to put what energy you can muster into steps to feel better. Everything will stem from that.

And I was only talking about my own micro situation of being ok happy and content. I do feel distressed at what others are going through but a huge part of my illness was taking on board things that were happening to others rather than focusing on the fact that we were ok. It's not healthy but I just wanted to point out that I'm not saying 'im alright Jack'. Only focusing on ourselves because it made me ill to focus helplessly on others.

MarshaBradyo · 12/01/2021 13:07

Do you have a dp/ dh op?

I hope they’re supportive or if not perhaps a support bubble?

emmaluggs · 12/01/2021 13:08

I’m the same today, I’ve been quite pragmatic throughout, being careful etc. But I’ve just been hit with a massive fear of dying or my partner dying and leaving my 2 young children behind. I know logically the odds are on my side but I can’t keep a grip on the logic at the moment. Just feels like this forever lurking ‘thing’ I can’t imagine what normally life will be like anymore

Peridot1 · 12/01/2021 13:09

It is really shit. It’s shit for us all in many different ways. And it’s ok and actually important to acknowledge that. Don’t try to not feel it. We all feel it at different times and in different ways.

I read an article about COVID and it’s effects on mental health and so many people are feeling the same way. Why wouldn’t we? It’s bloody hard. It’s unnerving. It’s completely not normal. It’s scary. It’s frustrating. And it seems never-bloody-ending!

But it will end. The vaccine roll out is fantastic news. And it will make a difference. If they do manage to vaccinate as many as they plan in the timescale they are talking about summer should be much better than last summer.

The article I read suggested writing down how you feel. Acknowledging it. Do something nice for you. And recognise that you are doing a great job. Even if you shout sometimes. We all do. Take deep breaths and say yes it’s shit but we are in the shit together. And we will get through.

January is grim anyway. But we are almost half way through. And once it starts to feel more springlike it will naturally feel brighter and easier to feel optimistic.

cantcopewiththisshitanylonger · 12/01/2021 13:09

I can't offer any advice because I'm currently in the bath sobbing for the same reason. Also trying to make the best of running my business which is going to fail soon but I can't find time to work on it or the environment is just horrible. I have no privacy at all to concentrate. I'm contemplating running away or throwing myself off of the nearest talll guiding but of course that's not within the rules so I won't

Original poster

JC17fj74 · 12/01/2021 13:09

@MarshaBradyo

Do you have a dp/ dh op?

I hope they’re supportive or if not perhaps a support bubble?

I do yes. DH works as he's a key worker. I think that is why I feel so down because it's a long day day after day with a young child stuck at home.

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Blueroses99 · 12/01/2021 13:19

I feel the same OP. Following a period of depression a few years ago, I was given an task to do to list things that lift my mood, however small. If I’m feeling low, I’m supposed to do something on my list, sometimes it helps, sometimes it doesn’t. Most of those things on my list I can’t do anymore, and those that are allowed are impossible to schedule with a clingy young child in the house.

Wontdothisagain · 12/01/2021 13:27

to all those struggling.

It's difficult to even offer any advice because options are so limited right now, but things will be better by the Spring and it will be even more wonderful to be able to do some of the things we love.

It's so hard, lonely, boring. Last lockdown I was wfh alone with two dc. Dh was working outside full time. It was one of the most difficult and miserable times I've ever experienced.

SillyOldMummy · 12/01/2021 13:49

I sympathise. I've been generally a happy lockdowner, but now even I am bored. Homeschool, toddler at home, I'm unemployed, my DP doesn't care how I feel and never asks, it's cold so I can't even the garden. Ugh.

EffIt · 12/01/2021 14:22

I feel same OP. I've been shielding since it started - never really stopped. Have hardly seen anyone since 18th March last year!! I know this will sound extreme but it feels like we're following the steps of Biderman's chart of coercion. Not sure how much more isolation I can take! Everyday is the same, absolutely nothing to do.

Tinkywinkydipsylalapofaced · 12/01/2021 14:40

Pouring on to say you're not alone.
Have 11 month DS so we've been in lockdown essentially for 10 months of his life.
Parenting is hard at any point, but parenting with no respite, a coffee with friends, baby classes etc to break up the day...it's made things v hard and I just cry each day then feel bad for crying as if I should be cherishing each moment with my son. But it is crap!
Just filtering out MOST of the negativity in the press and focusing on the strides forward with the vaccine.

frozendaisy · 12/01/2021 16:02

It's all pants my MH spiralled downward in 2020 so come NYE I decided to try and drag myself out of my pandemic pit.

I actually prefer being stuck in when it is freezing and dark outside.
I am not giving myself a hard time for making beans on toast for dinner.

Getting some house jobs done.

Already hate Minecraft. But it's a necessary evil

Baths with books help a lot.