Do you think people are just desensitised and feel far removed from NHS situation and that’s why they aren’t worried

[CaughtInTheCovid]

I feel like one of the reasons for lack of compliance/taking the rules and covid seriously is that after almost a year of the news basically being a horror film and having hideous statistics about death thrown at us we are just so desensitised to it that it doesn’t affect us. I was watching the news earlier and it had horrific scenes of hospitals, staff in tears just awful. But I felt a sense of detachment, like it was a film or happening in a different country that didn’t affect me. Like when you watch children in need and cry and think how awful it is and donate money and then the next day you just forget about it when you’re back to business. I don’t think I connect that if I were to have a heart attack or get hit by a car and need medical care with the absolute crisis and as we all do think ‘it’ll never happen to me’.

Do you think that’s why people aren’t complying or are pushing the rules to the limits? They just can’t keep up to the level of fear so are desensitised or think it doesn’t affect them? FWIW I have followed all the rules and am currently struggling home schooling and wfh but understand the need for it all.

Oh and people are more mistrustful of the statistics now, as there is more common knowledge that the stories behind the numbers are being manipulated so they are misleading. The media would have you believe that 60,000 people a day are catching this from a park bench, distanced walk or Sainsbury’s. When in fact most transmission is in underfunded hospitals, care homes, and schools which were completely safe 8 days ago. Is it any wonder that people have switched off, as they think we could well be being duped?

What really pissed me off was the mum of a child in my DD's class. Awaiting a test result for symptoms she sent her child in. She received a positive result and had to send her husband to collect the child midday. She was on maternity leave. She was the subject of a school email to all parents. Her newborn caught it from her, as did the child she'd sent in. She deleted her FB posts about testing positive. She's a teaching assistant and now posting furiously on FB about the risk other parents are putting people at sending their kids in to school now that her maternity leave has ended and she's back at work. There's some severe collective stupidity going on. People pick and choose what rules apply to them.

Fear of the unknown is more intense for many than experience of the unpleasant. This is definitely a factor in my becoming desensitised. At the beginning it was a new and deadly disease encroaching in a very threatening way and I had to ration my news consumption to protect my mental health. Now, my vulnerable DPs have had it in the autumn and are fine, as have DH, DD and I after DS brought it home from school. All of us had been pretty strict compliers. Again, no horror show. Lots of other examples of the same. It feels inevitable that most of us will get it and most of us will be fine, and the direct experience of this being the case trumps the indirect experience of hearing about others having it harder. I felt this even before we actually got it. And agree with PP that having now got a likely 4 month immunity it would be nice to have a few more freedoms since we wouldn't be a threat to anyone - but I guess we'll just keep on complying out social conditioning

It sounds awful but I think if we could see the people who've died and their ages and whether they had underlying health conditions it would make it more real rather than being a number, I think it would really bring it home.

@StrippedFridge

She said he'd never been away from his family before and now he was going to die alone, wondering where they were. That's a failure of end of life care in the UK. We are really very shit at it compared to other countries. Too many people die in hospital who could die and would want to die at home or in a hospice type environment.

No that’s not failure of end of life care. It’s pandemic end of life care. This does not normally happen, relatives are allowed in 24/7 etc. This is what happens in a pandemic.

Pandemic.

I've got total fatigue with it, I got to the numbness stage months ago and the daily figures don't spark any emotion in me. I'm just dully waiting for it to be over really.

@StrippedFridge

My elderly uncle died of it in the second wave.

I am now desensitised despite that. Because of that even? During a major spike in his area only one very old relative died. All the rest were fine.

Too much damage to everyone else for too long.

There's only so long people can tolerate social isolation. It is a common form of punishment for a reason. It is not a natural state of being. People's minds rebel against it.

I feel a strong relation to this post.

My father died a few months before Covid. He was very ill and it was really traumatic.

But lockdown has been much worse. I realise the timing wasn't great.

I suppose the reality is, we know will probably lose our parents. We knew a pandemic was overdue. We knew there would be a high death toll.

What I don't think anyone expected was long term financial problems, a dictatorship and a regime that wanted all human contact to be strictly limited.

So much damage to so many people...for so long. I cannot think it was worth it. My father was proud to work for the NHS-his whole working life. Now I want to dismantle it.

It's the boy who cried wolf. When you hear the message repeatedly, it loses its impact.

This, mostly. But also I know of only three people who've had covid, and they only had mild symptoms.

I was most impacted by my mother's death in November. She didn't die of covid, she was 86 and had had a stroke in August, and spent the last few months of her life either in the hospital or the care home, unable to move, unable to communicate - and cut off from her children and grandchildren by covid restrictions.

If I feel anything, it's anger that I was prevented from seeing my mother the night she lay dying. That has an impact, but not the one that the government has been gunning for. Any form of respect for their message dissipated the moment their restrictions stripped away basic humanity.

Any form of respect for their message dissipated the moment their restrictions stripped away basic humanity.

I’m so sorry for your loss, Shodan, and that you and your mother were robbed of those last moments together. It’s totally understandable that you feel the way you do.

Here is the reality of lockdown:

I haven't been to the gym since March. This has led to weight gain and a loss of fitness (self control being a personal weakness).

I chipped a tooth at the start of lockdown which turned into an expensive root canal and crown treatment because I couldn't see a dentist for months.

My child is stuck at home and isn't getting the social and educational development she needs at the age of 4. She misses her friends and is supposed to be starting P1 in August, but who knows 🤷‍♀️

I missed out on two holidays that I was looking forward to.

I haven't been to an office since March and I haven't been able to travel for business and meet my clients. Zoom is nice but I miss travelling the country and interacting with people.

I see friends and family much less often.

I read newspaper articles about people getting fined for having a walk in the middle of nowhere - and rumours that they want people to wear masks outdoors - and I see people cheering this madness.

All this distress and suffering for an illness which for the vast majority of people is mild.

I see the NHS situation and hear of people dying from covid and other illnesses. I read the news about that plane crash in Indonesia and recall previous plane crashes in which people died. I remember the train crash near Aberdeen earlier this year. I hear of fatal car crashes every so often.

It's not that I'm not worried for those statistically at risk. I see the numbers and hear of loved ones dying. I understand the logic behind some of the decisions, even though I think the concept of focusing on covid above anything else is questionable.

For me and my family, we could get very ill and die. We might also be in a fatal car/train/plane crash at some point. It's just that statistically the chances are very slim indeed.

Married to ITU consultant. We don’t even talk about it any more. Numbers in his hospital much less than half of the April numbers but expected to rise.

When I come on MN and I hear what can only be described as hysterical bleating, I am glad to know that the same hysterical bleaters are not in charge of mounting a response to this challenge. Honestly, some of the absolute drivel I read on the site. The people who are charged with this are mostly calm and collected.

Countess my dad was ITU. he never talked about the pandemics he worked through, it was his job. They did used to call February morgue month...I have a nasty feeling this will be in the media hysteria and people will freak out without realising how normal it is.

I still follow the rules, but I’m no longer scared and no longer go above and beyond the rules.

I got takeaway Costa the other day. When they first reopened in the first lockdown, I steered clear.

DP works in the NHS. She doesn’t work with covid patients but does come into contact with lots of people. In the first lockdown, she got changed in the porch and put her work clothes straight in a hot wash. I did the same with my outer layers after going to the supermarket. We don’t do that any more.

Part of it is desensitisation I’m sure. In the first lockdown, I watched the daily briefings and was horrified at the deaths every day. Now they barely affect me.

The other part is fatigue and feeling powerless. In March 2020 I thought that if we all pulled together for a few months, it would be over soon. Now it feels almost endless.

It amazes me how many people on here seem desensitised….not everyone, of course. But anyone who "says how it really is" (our death rate is totally shocking, the situation is really, really serious) will get accused of stoking fear or scaremongering.

And it can often be people who know very few who have had COVID, or who haven't lost someone close to them...…

Then there are those who, like me, have had the virus and who have been exceedingly ill, and/or who have lost loved ones and/or have seen a good many friends and family get ill too. Then they suddenly take it seriously but by then it's too late. We should quite rightly be horrified at what we're seeing on the TV regarding overwhelmed hospitals, and be bloody worried indeed.

Why, if I follow the law, does it matter if I care or not? People have been screaming since March that the sky is falling down. They’ve told me nothing matters except Covid, not even a huge rise in child abuse, not seeing my daughter sob missing school, not an economy in ruins, not anything but then and their fears about a single disease. After being called selfish for saying their should be a bit of balance and a murderer for wanting schools opened I stopped caring.

I’ll stick to the law but I don’t care anymore. It’s a virus in winter, it’ll spread. The fact this is a huge surprise just shows how sheltered people are from excess winter deaths every year.

The biggest predictor of life expectancy is poverty. Lockdown will cause a huge loss of healthy years but no one seems to care about that. By staying in we transfer our risk to people on minimum wage and in precarious jobs.? It’s a privileged group who can stay home. We then blame people we have transferred the risk into for spreading the virus.

Maybe if we could all be a bit more understanding of each other I’d care more but right now I’m done.

I am more worried about the consequences of covid than covid, despite losing fil to it in the first lockdown. The economy, my dcs education and social life, my dd has an unworn prom dress, my dhs job. And I think a lot of people are getting frustrated and complacent with the never ending misery and suffering caused by the 'cure' ie lockdown rather than covid.

It's not a case of being immune to the deaths, every time I see the daily figures I feel sad for the lives lost and sad for the family involved but I feel more sad for my family living through another lockdown that will likely last months. Am hoping that the weather improves soon, at least that helps a little.

I'm just trying to get through each day with an active toddler and a sometimes clingy baby and nowhere to go. I've lost the energy to care about things beyond my immediate circle. DH was having sleepless nights over the political situation in the US which I've barely registered.

I don't have any elderly relatives or close friends who are ECV. I used to have a life where I went to different places and was acquainted with all sorts of different people and now I don't.

To fight the spread we've had to cut ourselves into little units rather than a wide connected society and I think this has changed many of us.

I totally agree.

I recall back in March feeling a massive sense of fear. I think that lasted almost the whole of the first lockdown. The last week or 2 of it, I stopped feeling worried and saw my family again.

As we continue to go in and out of lockdown, I just don't care any more to be honest. The fear has completely gone. They talk about the same stuff day in, day out on the news and none of it is a shock any more. We are all expecting to hear there are more deaths, hospitals are full, cases are rising etc, and unless you know someone that has had it and has had a horrific experience, then I don't think it worries people as much any more.

@SnuggyBuggy

I'm just trying to get through each day with an active toddler and a sometimes clingy baby and nowhere to go. I've lost the energy to care about things beyond my immediate circle. DH was having sleepless nights over the political situation in the US which I've barely registered.

I don't have any elderly relatives or close friends who are ECV. I used to have a life where I went to different places and was acquainted with all sorts of different people and now I don't.

To fight the spread we've had to cut ourselves into little units rather than a wide connected society and I think this has changed many of us.

I’m sorry @SnuggyBuggy it’s a really hard time to have small children.

"To fight the spread we've had to cut ourselves into little units rather than a wide connected society and I think this has changed many of us."

A very interesting point, that a few pp have mentioned on this thread - does separating ourselves off physically from society and other people change people's outlook, make us more inward looking, focused on immediate family?

Of course many people are not separating themselves off - lots of people working/volunteering outside the home with lots of people-contact. It would be interesting to know if there is a difference between the two groups - whether there is a relative decline in levels of interest in other people/empathy/whatever you call it, in the first group? (Obviously I know we're still in contact with others via zoom and the rest of it but perhaps there is something about absence of actual physical contact that makes a difference to ways of thinking.)

People turn off or dont watch the News.
Sometimes if the news is too harrowing I cant breath I am so anxious.

I have asthma and have just found out today that unless I have severe asthma I should not worry, Just today i have realised that i am not prioritised for the vaccine apart from being over 50

I listened to Chris Whitty yesterday, he struck home and then in the evening it was all business as usual with Matt Hancock what was that all about?

I've used up all my emotions where coronavirus is concerned. This year has felt like a roller coaster ride, emotionally. I've got two choices left now. Go insane and have a breakdown. Or wear a mask, don't socialize inside and go to a shop for whatever I need, whenever I need it. I can't cope with shielding. I complied completely with all the rules until Christmas, but now I'm numb. I can't actively worry about coronavirus any more. I don't have the energy left for that.

@CountessFrog

Married to ITU consultant. We don’t even talk about it any more. Numbers in his hospital much less than half of the April numbers but expected to rise.

When I come on MN and I hear what can only be described as hysterical bleating, I am glad to know that the same hysterical bleaters are not in charge of mounting a response to this challenge. Honestly, some of the absolute drivel I read on the site. The people who are charged with this are mostly calm and collected.

I agree with you. Fortunately most of the people I know in real life are being responsible, but there are some depressing posts here.

I try to remind myself that at least some of those posters are being paid to spout nonsense.