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See all MNHQ comments on this thread

Reading this website has damaged my mental health during Covid

78 replies

Outseyeder · 11/01/2021 19:58

Firstly I am 100% aware that it is a choice to read any of this website including the Coromavirus section. A short while ago ai posted about mental health difficulties I was having due to lockdown. Amongst supportive posts I was also met with a torrent of patronising, unempathetic messages telling me to get a grip, NHS, WW2 etc. I just want to say to the people that posted this stuff that you made an awful time even worse for me. I would also like to say to the administrators of this site you should have been far quicker to step in before further damage was done. When the nature of some of the posts and their effect on me became clear, I completely stopped reading it myself. Other than this post and possibly follow ups if the thread does not do what so many have done and turn toxic I have not come on here for 3 weeks and will extend this period indefinitely. I dont know any of you and I will never meet you but I wanted to say that amongst positive and helpful posts, this website has allowed some of the absolutely vilest, most sanctimonious and self-righteous toxicity to poison people's mental wellbeing at a time when this was the very last thing many needed. I used to find this a place of enjoyment and support, now, just like the village I live in, it has become a poisoned place full of bitter and aggressive people taking it out on each other.

OP posts:
XenoBitch · 11/01/2021 21:28

There are some utterly shit people about, and now a lot are stuck at home with nothing to do but make total strangers feel like crap. I do wonder if they talk the same way to family or friends who might confide in them about their struggles. Seems some knobs see strangers on the web as fair game with no thought as to what the other person on the other side of the screen is going through.
Just think, it says a lot more about them than it does you.

mcmooberry · 11/01/2021 21:31

There is nothing I hate more - and it happens so often - than when someone has made a post and clearly needs help and support, but the very first person to reply is scathing and unpleasant. Followed by lots of people joining them. Awful. I don't know anyone in real life who would be so unsympathetic (I hope).
Hope this lockdown isn't setting you back further OP. Not sure I saw your previous post but sorry you didn't get the help you needed.

Bolshybun · 11/01/2021 21:35

So sorry to hear you’re having a hard time. I agree posters are unnecessary brutal. I can relate to wondering what those posters are like in real life.

Littlewhitedove2 · 11/01/2021 21:36

I actually think the opposite sometimes. Whilst there is no need to be horrid, I find it quite freeing to hear people’s honest responses and posts. I don’t want to hear what ‘people say in real life’ I get enough of that in real life. I want to hear the truth, and this being an anonymous forum, it sheds that layer and people can say what they actually want, not what they are expected to say.
Of course there are some people who are on the wind up or post deliberately nasty things, but these are often easy to spot. I am a very sensitive person and usually what people say to me in real life affects me very deeply. However on here it doesn’t. I just see it as people sounding off, showing off, wanting a reaction etc. I just scroll past and focus on the posts that actually are of some use to me

LemonTT · 11/01/2021 21:40

No one with MH should post on this board. There is a dedicated MH board with people who will give good advice. This one, well it’s not even got much COVID health advice on it that is worth reading.

SeldomFollowedIt · 11/01/2021 21:41

What post was it, the one about travel?

OP you need to stay off here if you’re fragile. It’s not the place for you. Just sounds like you’re after a repeat of your original thread. What exactly do you want people to say?

It’s a choice to be offended by comments on a website. You should rise above anything you find particularly hurtful, or just not post at all. I struggle to accept that “mumsnet” has damaged your mental health in lockdown.

It may not have helped but you are the one who comes on here, so your actions alone are not helping you.

You need to help yourself.

mumnowformerrockstar · 11/01/2021 21:46

@Outseyeder

Firstly I am 100% aware that it is a choice to read any of this website including the Coromavirus section. A short while ago ai posted about mental health difficulties I was having due to lockdown. Amongst supportive posts I was also met with a torrent of patronising, unempathetic messages telling me to get a grip, NHS, WW2 etc. I just want to say to the people that posted this stuff that you made an awful time even worse for me. I would also like to say to the administrators of this site you should have been far quicker to step in before further damage was done. When the nature of some of the posts and their effect on me became clear, I completely stopped reading it myself. Other than this post and possibly follow ups if the thread does not do what so many have done and turn toxic I have not come on here for 3 weeks and will extend this period indefinitely. I dont know any of you and I will never meet you but I wanted to say that amongst positive and helpful posts, this website has allowed some of the absolutely vilest, most sanctimonious and self-righteous toxicity to poison people's mental wellbeing at a time when this was the very last thing many needed. I used to find this a place of enjoyment and support, now, just like the village I live in, it has become a poisoned place full of bitter and aggressive people taking it out on each other.
I am new to mn. I feel the same way. Constant covid threads, very depressing.
SparkyLauz · 11/01/2021 21:47

Sorry that you feel like this OP but i totally agree what you're saying. There are a lot of trolls on here and nasty people. I used to think it was a nice supportive place but it seems it has changed a lot since coronavirus, same goes for places like FB. I also think there are a few men lingering around posting as women. X

ssd · 11/01/2021 21:50

I agree with you @Outseyeder

VinylDetective · 11/01/2021 21:50

I think the stress is getting to all of us and a lot of the current nastiness is because of that. MN was really horrible over the weekend.

Littlewhitedove2 · 11/01/2021 21:51

@mumnowformerrockstar the thing is though that people post on what’s most in their mind / a current issue that’s bothering them. Of course at the moment the number one for almost everyone is coronavirus and the effects! It’s only natural that most posts are about that at the moment.

SparkyLauz · 11/01/2021 21:55
  • I will rephrase. Mumsnet is a supportive place on the whole with some lovely people. I would just stay away from AiBU and coronavirus forums thats where you tend to find the trolls
bossybloss · 11/01/2021 21:58

This reply has been deleted

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Mumski45 · 11/01/2021 22:12

OP I am very sorry to hear that you are having a hard time. However if you are feeling fragile and reading Mumsnet is making you worse I am not really sure why you came on here with a post which is bound to provoke more of what is triggering you.
I would strongly suggest that you carry out your plan not to engage further.

Fuckingcrustybread · 11/01/2021 22:12

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Blondiney · 11/01/2021 22:13

Mumsnet is a mixed bag, bit like life really. Luckily it's easy to log off when you need a break.

PanamaPattie · 11/01/2021 22:16

Log off. Give yourself some space. The vipers will still be here when you are ready to come back.

tatutata · 11/01/2021 22:16

I agree. I don't understand why people do it. I was really upset by all the crap about kids getting covid and when a friend posted it in fb I pointed out that that (inconsiderate, unprofessional) nurse may have been misquoted or speaking without context. I was met with a friend who immediately seemed to want it all to be even worse and came up with some other scary story she heard from some other nurse she knew. It's bizarre.

Fuckoffyoueviltrolls · 11/01/2021 22:17

3 years ago under a different name. I posted about been raped and I was desperately looking for someone too talk. A few people were lovely, one person told me I was disgrace, and should be talking to the police not after support. A lot of nice people but a few can be pretty horrible. I'm sorry your suffering, your having a tough time, I can totally relate xFlowers

tatutata · 11/01/2021 22:17

@ChilternsChaCha just why?

MissBaskinIfYoureNasty · 11/01/2021 22:19

Oh its a dump on here sometimes OP. I have certainly become a bit hardened to other people after spending time on mumsnet over this pandemic. I had my baby in the first lockdown and people spoke to me like shit here when I was terrified and suffering from poor mental health. I'll never forget it and I'd like to say it made me more empathetic to people struggling but its the opposite.

toocold54 · 11/01/2021 22:20

MN is either the best most supportive place I have ever known or the most vile.

I posted under a different name ages ago something completely innocent and because I had a different opinion on something so silly about school holidays or something, I was called all sorts of names and had a poster hoping that I was abused by my father and that my husband would leave me. And you will see lots of posters resorting to swearing and calling you offensive names because they can’t have a discussion properly. 90% are genuine and I do love MN and the people on it so much but you will always get wrongens on the internet unfortunately.

Just remember OP there are many trolls on here or people with very sad lives. If your MH is playing up I would advise staying away from MN and all social media.

Ltdannygreen · 11/01/2021 22:20

There are some right judgemental pricks on here, just concentrate on the good people. The good outweighs the bad. People post horrible stuff on here because they most likely wouldn’t say it to someone’s face and they can hide behind a screen. Thier life most likely isn’t perfect so they will make others feel bad to make themselves look good. Just know there are people out there that care and in the same boat and you are not alone.

Alex15 · 11/01/2021 22:20

@ChilternsChaCha

I am sorry for your mental health issues.

Your post, however, seems just like the people you are complaining about - bitter and judgemental.

And so it starts...
Catty1720 · 11/01/2021 22:21

@Fuckoffyoueviltrolls that is truly horrendous I cannot believe someone would do that. I hope your ok and that time has made things better for you my heart goes to you ❤️