Should all people keep all kids off school if they absolutely can?

[Morph2lcfc]

Schools are allowing/actively encouraging Sen kids into school this time which must be part of the reason for the large increase in kids attending. Obviously there are some parents who decide not to send their Sen kids in for various reasons of their own but for others should they keep them off unless both parents are a keyworker?

I have a child with asd and ehcp who wasn’t allowed in school first lockdown but is this time is and I’ve accepted the place but am now being made to feel guilty about it. have had a slight disagreement with a friend on this. She said it’s not fair that Sen kids are getting face to face teacher time when other kids aren’t and that it’s hard for everyone having kids at home abs that people sending kids in will be extending the lockdown for everyone else.

My issue there is a crack in the system which is the children EHCP who have one for health etc that have been at home all year long with 0 support.

@santabetterwashhishands, this was to he same got us until Williamson said in House of commons all vulnerable children with HCP must be able to attend school and must have 3 hours teaching, for primary and 5 for secondary, at school. I emailed document from Gov website across to his school and the following day parents hot email saying all children were now going to be allowed to attend from Thursday and Head would be getting supply in to cover lessons if staff off. No comment on how many hours teaching but happy he is going in as Year 10 and only getting 1 1/2 hours teaching each day.

Yes. If you can find some way not to send your kids you should keep them at home for the next couple of months. School should only be for those children who just can't be looked after at home currently.

It will be extending the time it takes to get this under control.
Sometimes the right to do something doesn't make doing it right. And tbh that's how I feel about this.
You opted to not bother with education with your child because you like thousands of other worked, during the lockdown.

Your friend is right, you are part of the problem, by sending your child and not being a responsible parent and member of society by playing your part, keeping your child home and educating him.

And yes I am a lone parent of a child on the spectrum too. Oh and yes I wfh and make homeschooling work! Because I'm a parent and my child deserves the best, safest opportunities.

Of course you should send your child in with an Ehcp. There is a thread on here asking how much support peoples secondary school children need with home learning. Most people replied, 'I just check they've logged on in the morning'. It really made me realise how much more support my SEN kids need to get through the day in lockdown, let alone to attempt any school work.

Don't feel guilty. My one child with an Ehcp won't go into school or do any work at home.

My other child's school rang to offer a place for next week (I hadn't asked for one)

The schools aren't full of SEN pupils that don't need to be there and can manage fine at home!

@Sockwomble

She can have my child's place if she is happy for her child to take my child's disability.

Perfect reply.

In fact she cant have my sons full time space too. On the proviso that her child never gets to read and write and mine can stay at home but become literate.

Bizarre what some people are jealous of.

My son wont ever read or write so a few months of normal routine in his childhood hardly compensates for a lifetime ahead of struggles.

What a cock your friend is

"And yes I am a lone parent of a child on the spectrum too. Oh and yes I wfh and make homeschooling work! Because I'm a parent and my child deserves the best, safest opportunities"

Your child is one child. It isn't possible to make it work with some children and for lots of children the difficulties go way beyond schooling.

@MotherExtraordinaire

It will be extending the time it takes to get this under control. Sometimes the right to do something doesn't make doing it right. And tbh that's how I feel about this. You opted to not bother with education with your child because you like thousands of other worked, during the lockdown.

Your friend is right, you are part of the problem, by sending your child and not being a responsible parent and member of society by playing your part, keeping your child home and educating him.

And yes I am a lone parent of a child on the spectrum too. Oh and yes I wfh and make homeschooling work! Because I'm a parent and my child deserves the best, safest opportunities.

This is the most judgmental, ignorant, arrogant, and narrow minded post I have read in a long time.

What's safest and best for your child is not safest and best for another- I don't think that's a difficult concept to grasp.

It is your choice to make but she is no friend at all.

One of my DC has additional support needs but has a lot of anxiety around CV so would rather be at home so that is what I've gone with. I appreciate that for many others with additional support needs they need to attend.

So many were forgotten about last time so I feel that children with additional support needs should be encouraged were possible due to the issues that can arise due to not attending.

She obviously has zero understanding at all if she can't see this.

"Your friend is right, you are part of the problem, by sending your child and not being a responsible parent and member of society by playing your part, keeping your child home and educating him."

People saying things like this will be responsible for some very vulnerable children and families suffering because people will be emotionally blackmailed into keeping children at home who should be in school.

To clarify it’s not so much the home schooling/ lack of home schooling. If he stayed home we wouldn’t be able to do any but he is where he should be academically so that side doesn’t overall worry me. It’s more the meltdowns and effect on mental health. He’s been struggling anyway since the November lockdown to the point where police came round to check on us week before last and school have suggested respite (which I doubt we’d get in middle of a pandemic anyway). I know all children are suffering with their mental health and coping during the lockdown but is it all to this level? I’ve only got the one child so nothing to compare to. All I know is since he went back last week he’s been a lot calmer

If your ds is calmly sitting and watching football, that's a good sign that he's feeling settled, probably in part because his routine is is there and so he feels ok. I appreciate it's different for every family, but there's a reason SEN children are being allowed/ encouraged to attend school. Because they need extra support and they need familiar routines even more than other children. It's rubbish that so many children are missing out on schooling and I don't think there's a perfect way to make it fair, but your ds has been offered a place and is benefitting from it. Imo you've done the right thing for him. Nobody is to blame for this horrible pandemic and people have different needs, that's just the way it is. Don't feel guilty.

If you need your child to go to school whether it's mental health, because you are a keyworker or your child had Sen then send them. We need as few children as possible in school so only send if you need to. Even if it's a few days days a week for regular interaction and routine for Sen.

@Sockwomble

"Your friend is right, you are part of the problem, by sending your child and not being a responsible parent and member of society by playing your part, keeping your child home and educating him."

People saying things like this will be responsible for some very vulnerable children and families suffering because people will be emotionally blackmailed into keeping children at home who should be in school.

Likewise, many people choosing not to limit interactions with others, will have blood on their hands.

Majority of people with MH issues will recover. Those that die as a result of these individuals, won't ever recover. They'll be dead for forever! Their families will grieve for forever.

She clearly doesn’t have or even appreciate what it is to have a child with SEN. We were on our knees first lockdown with our son at hime 7 weeks. This time he’s at college full time and Will carry on doing so unless they dint have staff. She’s no friend.

@MotherExtraordinaire

It will be extending the time it takes to get this under control. Sometimes the right to do something doesn't make doing it right. And tbh that's how I feel about this. You opted to not bother with education with your child because you like thousands of other worked, during the lockdown.

Your friend is right, you are part of the problem, by sending your child and not being a responsible parent and member of society by playing your part, keeping your child home and educating him.

And yes I am a lone parent of a child on the spectrum too. Oh and yes I wfh and make homeschooling work! Because I'm a parent and my child deserves the best, safest opportunities.

Judgemental and narrow minded. I’m shocked You have a child with SEN. Usually us parents have each other’s backs and realise every child is different. Is your child destructive: do they have violent meltdowns several times a day? Do your other children feel worried around them? I can guarantee your child doesn’t but this is the reality some of us live with.

Judging by your username you rate yourself as an good parent, it’s a shame you’re so unkind.

"Likewise, many people choosing not to limit interactions with others, will have blood on their hands."

Then target the idiots not following the rules not vulnerable children and their families who the government have said should be schools.

But schools are the biggest sources of infection.

And in my dd’s school all students get the same learning. Out if school they are on Teams, in school they are also on Teams in the same lesson.

It depends on circumstances.

My DSC are going to school. I am at home so technically they could stay with me. But both of their parents work outside of the home (one is a keyworker) so they have gone to school.

I cannot risk my job to homeschool children which legally I am not responsible for, my employer would not look well on it.

I'm sure some here think that's absolutely terrible and I should risk my employment for the good of society but I'm not.

"And in my dd’s school all students get the same learning. Out if school they are on Teams, in school they are also on Teams in the same lesson."

No one in ds's class could learn using Teams although the main reason they are there is to keep their routine and reduce self-injurious behaviour etc.

We’ve had a message from school today saying they need to reduce key worker children and guidance on which children will still get a key worker place but it then specifically says this will not apply to children under social services or with an ehcp

But the point was that for some children they are getting the same provision inside and outside school.

“No one in ds's class could learn using Teams although the main reason they are there is to keep their routine and reduce self-injurious behaviour etc.“

Sounds very similar to my sons place. Some have chosen to keep their children with ehcps off due to own circumstances, medical issues etc but those children definately won’t be learning through teams in the same way a typical mainstream child might be expected

ignore the friend. there is good reason why they can attend.

fwiw, if you read the news, it's down to keyworker children. our local primary has almost 1/3 of the children in as so many have parents now classed as key workers. In lockdown 1, less than 10% attended.

besides, how can one work with a severely disabled child that needs a very high level of support. I had to in the 1st lockdown and got very ill from the stress. It's very different from working with a typical teen. Nurseries are open as parents of toddlers cannot effectively WFH. Well, newsflash, it's not very different if you have a severely learning disabled teen and need to hold down a job!

DH is a teacher in primary. In his experience the increase in numbers is not a result of more SEN pupils attending (they were able to attend before, at least at his school) but a direct result of no caps on KW places and a very expansive definition of which work types can be considered a KW.

Example - today even more KW children are in than last week, today's latest kids include the child of a KW (who WFH) and a SAHP, and also the child of a KW (HR manager for bank, WFH even in normal times) and non-KW both of whom WFH. In lockdown 1, neither would have been offered a place.