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Original poster

How much supervision of home schooling should a 14 year old need?

67 replies

grandehorizontale · 10/01/2021 16:38

I have a 14 year old. My difficult ex says that because I am still out at work all day (partly because he is in arrears with maintenance - grr) my 14 year old should live with his father during the week,.

I think that my 14 year old should get on with his work on his own, without one of us standing over him. There are some direct less of course.

Any views? GH

OP posts:

reallyisthisallthereis · 10/01/2021 16:41

Depends on the 14 year old. Some will do all work on their own, others need constant supervision.
It must be quite lonely being there all day on their own

BlessedBeTheFruitCake · 10/01/2021 16:42

My dc is 14 (yr10) and all lessons are streamed live so they sit on their own in the study to do school work. There is a live chat option with teachers if students are having any problems. In the first week I wasn’t needed to watch over at all.

ED47 · 10/01/2021 16:43

I leave my 11 and 13 year old to do their online work at home all day whilst I'm at school. I call them at lunchtime and then spend an hour or so going through stuff and checking they've completed and uploaded their work for the day when I get back

FenEel · 10/01/2021 16:47

I am not supervising my 13 year old at all. He “goes to school” (logs in) in his room at 9, comes down for break and lunch, and finishes at 3.30, all lessons are supervised by teachers so I assume if there was a problem they would let us know. In the same way I never check his homework when he is at school, I assume it is being done otherwise we would be told. Obviously if it emerged there was a problem I would have to supervise more.

Superstardjs · 10/01/2021 16:49

Mine gets on with it on her own. School would let me know if she wasn't attending the 'lessons' or not doing the work.

kowari · 10/01/2021 16:50

My 14 year old is in school (I am a keyworker). Being completely alone all day was too much for his mental health and he struggled to engage with remote learning. He is much happier with human interaction and with the structure of physically being in school. Many adults struggle with being alone all day.

redcandlelight · 10/01/2021 16:52

depends on the child and on the support of the school.
my teens have nearly normal lessons via an app and the only input I have it getting them to exercise.

Theforest · 10/01/2021 16:52

I am not supervising my teen as now 100% online, but I am working from home so am here if he has a problem. If I wasn't working from home, I think he could be trusted to do it anyway.

How does your child feel about it?

Bluntness100 · 10/01/2021 16:54

Actually i understand his point. Would he work with his son? Would it be better for your son to be with a parent and not left alone all day? What does your son want?

You need to try to think what’s best for your son and not make it about you both.

itsgettingweird · 10/01/2021 16:55

3 things here.

A) can your 14yo be trusted to engage alone?

B) does he want to be left at yours or would he rather be at his dads?

C) is your ex likely to try and claim maintenance so this this more for his personal gain?

But in answer to your question - yes an NT 14yo should be able to do it alone and if they don't needs a food kick up the arse about taking personal responsibility

Cameleongirl · 10/01/2021 16:58

DD(15) gets on with it on her own. We can check her grades and assignments online so I do that periodically to make sure she’s keeping up. So far it’s works out pretty well.

DS(12) needs more support. He’s OK logging on for classes at the correct times, but I need to check his assignments daily and make sure he’s submitting his homework on time.

Panicmode1 · 10/01/2021 16:58

My 16, 15 and 13 year olds all have full timetables via Google classroom or Teams. They are self sufficient and I barely do anything other than make sure they are fed and watered at lunchtimes. My Y8 forhot to hand in a piece of work the other day and a teacher phoned me, so I think that if there was an issue, their schools would tell me.

My Yr6 is not being given live lessons but has enough to do for a full morning of school so I work whilst he's working.

I think it probably really depends on the child and the school, but I wouldn't expect to have to do much for a 14 Yr old.

Cameleongirl · 10/01/2021 17:00

DH is WFH, I’m part-time and can still go into my office ( we’re in the US and not in lockdown). So there’s an adult in the house all day. DH is pretty focused on his own work though so he can’t pay much attention to them.

ProfYaffle · 10/01/2021 17:01

I have a yr 9 and a yr 12. Dh and I both wfh so we're here in body but can't be available to them in any meaningful way through the working day. I make sure they're up and breakfasted in the mornings but that's it. Their school day is a mix of live teaching and google classroom and they're self sufficient.

IggyAce · 10/01/2021 17:06

DD 14 gets on with her work, it’s all live via teams & I know that school would call if she wasn’t taking part. My dh is working from home, I work very part time in a school so there is someone at home with her.

bathsh3ba · 10/01/2021 17:07

I'm not supervising my 11yo or 13yo directly but I am in the house and they can come and find me if they need me. I think there is a difference between that and being home alone all day every day. At 14 it's probably safe for him to be left, unless there are special needs we don't know about, but it's not necessarily the best option if there is an alternative. At 14 I'd let him choose what he prefers, provided whatever option he chooses, he keeps up with the work.

christmasathomeagain · 10/01/2021 17:13

My 13 year old seems to be managing. We are both on the house but wfh so not giving much supervision.

Newgirls · 10/01/2021 17:18

My 14 year old doesn’t need work help but she does need company now and then. Can ex take your teen out for daily walks or have him once a week just for a change of scene?

Grapesoda7 · 10/01/2021 17:24

Mine would need a lot of support with the work, but has SEN. It must be lonely on his own all day for your son. it sounds a good idea if his dad is at home and your son is happy to be there during the week.

Coasterfan · 10/01/2021 17:27

I don’t supervise my 13 year old at all, year 8. All live lessons and she knows what she needs to do. She had live lessons March to July in year 7 during the last lockdown as well and I didn’t give her any supervision then either. She knows I m here if she needs anything.

yeOldeTrout · 10/01/2021 17:27

Currently hand-holding DS to get yr12 A-level homework done...

SOLINVICTUS · 10/01/2021 17:30

I have two classes of 14 year olds and the two students who are struggling both have their parents sitting with them. We've all noticed that they are distracted, looking always in the direction of Mum and Dad, and often ask them for the answers. Both families have been contacted by the school to say we've noticed a significant drop in the standard of work and attention and could the parents please butt out.
Obviously that's just my two students.

starfish4 · 10/01/2021 17:31

At 14 he should be working on his own and you shouldn't have to oversee him. Also at that age he's capable of contacting teachers if he has any queries.

If he's going to his Dad's, I'd say it's for company as there aren't many of us that would want to spend 40 hours pw on their own.

Justa47 · 10/01/2021 17:37

@grandehorizontale

The answer is none
Apart from a check at the start of the day as to what they will do and a check at the end
If they don’t do it, take away phone abs iPad etc.

Simple

greenlynx · 10/01/2021 17:38

It obviously depends on your DC opinion. I would also think about how lessons are organised. My DD is having lessons on Zoom and some of them are like real lessons. Teacher registers them, present 10 minutes materials and then they are doing small tasks on paper for 5 minutes, then go through tasks altogether so the only difference that she’s at home and teacher is on screen but otherwise she’s completely engaged and busy. All cameras are on and teacher put them on mute occasionally for concentration.
In one subject they were sitting and discussing topic for 45 minutes (small group), again with cameras on so nothing to supervise actually.
I would consider technical side as well:is internet limited or unlimited and who has better quality.

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