How much supervision of home schooling should a 14 year old need?

[grandehorizontale]

I have a 14 year old. My difficult ex says that because I am still out at work all day (partly because he is in arrears with maintenance - grr) my 14 year old should live with his father during the week,.

I think that my 14 year old should get on with his work on his own, without one of us standing over him. There are some direct less of course.

Any views? GH

What does the 14 year old want to do?

My 11yo is handling her own work, though I am in the house for emergencies or tech support. We also check in at the end of the day and go over assignments, make sure everything is done.

I have two 14 year old. I am at home working but leave both of them to it as they are independent learners.

I think it depends on the child and the type of lessons they're being set. My year 7 is just having PPTS with voice overs being sent through so if I didn't sit with him and engage him, I'd fear death via boredom of ppt. I'm lucky that I'm still on maternity leave with my 7 month old,but even then it's challenging. I've tended to say I'll sit with him for 2/5 lessons and am around the house if he needs me for the rest. But Tues I'll be asking him to get on with them independently as I need to study for my degree.

depends on the child and on the support of the school.
my teens have nearly normal lessons via an app and the only input I have it getting them to exercise.

This is our experience. And we tend to have lunch together.

@ED47

I leave my 11 and 13 year old to do their online work at home all day whilst I'm at school. I call them at lunchtime and then spend an hour or so going through stuff and checking they've completed and uploaded their work for the day when I get back

Exactly the same here

My son is 15. I expect him to be able to work independently during the day and when I finish work I look at what he’s done.

I don’t go through the work in great detail, but knowing that I will be having a look later, does ensure that my son remains on task when he needs to.

He’s an A* grade student so I expect nothing less and I’m very lucky I don’t need to worry as much in that respect.

My 13 year old, year 9, does it himself. When I get in from work I ask him if he has done everything and if he has submitted everything. If he hasnt thats on him.

My 12 and 14 yo are doing their work unsupervised while I work. Most of their lessons are done with video calls from the teacher.

Depends. My daughter would have no problem. My son would, but if the school is doing registration at the start of each lesson and engaging them with some interaction that should help.
However is there another reason you don't want your son living with his father? It might be good for both of them if he did on occasion.

My 14 year old gets on with her work without supervision. Sometimes she has something she needs support with but she tends to ask her friends/teacher first..

However, I think your issue is more them being on their own all day. DD's friend (also 14) ended up going into school (keyworker's child) during the last lockdown because she found all day every day on her own to be too much.

Presumably your ex is still working, albeit from home, so cannot supervise your son all day either?

Assuming the school are clearly communicating tasks, I would say a quick run through of tasks to be completed in the morning and then spending some time either at lunchtime or each evening going through anything he struggles with/ needs help understanding is fine.

Mine needs constant micro managing otherwise she'd do nothing. Its exhausting when I'm trying to work

I had to sit down and make sure he has alarms set on his phone so he logs into each period plus we've gone through how much stationery he has like printer ink so he's not caught by surprise.

Other than that he does it himself. I check he's up in the morning when I leave but that's it.

My 14yo would concentrate Iess if I micromanaged him. I would hate someone monitoring what I type Etc It's like when someone on public transport tries to read your newspaper over your shoulder- very annoying

My 1r Yr old cracks on, on his own.
I don't see nor hear from him unless it's break or lunchtine

I haven't supervised my ds2(13) at all.

@HoppingOnSteppingStones

My 1r Yr old cracks on, on his own. I don't see nor hear from him unless it's break or lunchtine

A one year old 😂😂

I'm having to leave my 12 year old to manage on her own whilst I'm at work. She is getting on with things on her own just fine.

My 13 and 15 year olds need minimal supervision but do like having someone to chat to at break and lunch times. And someone to calm them down if they are feeling overwhealmed.

Is there a particular reason you dont want him at his dad's Mon-Fri? Would he want to go?

[quote Justa47]@grandehorizontale

The answer is none
Apart from a check at the start of the day as to what they will do and a check at the end
If they don’t do it, take away phone abs iPad etc.

Simple[/quote]
How do they do their work without the iPad?

Yes removing internet access would make it impossible for mine to do school work.

My ex provides my chid with a laptop to use at his house but my son is not allowed to bring it to my house. (Yes, I know). Anyway - I have made a laptop available. Basically, he is in arrears with maintenance, and then is berating me for having to go out to work. I can't do my work at home - unlike my ex. My son hates having his school work policed by his father.

I was just curious as to what people had to say about the need for supervision of school work.

I

@SOLINVICTUS, do you expect parents to be doing more than getting their children there on the call?

I know you're talking 14yr olds, but I ask because I don't know what to do about my 16yr old.

I am ready to give up on my 16yr old's A-levels. I could do the daily sitting with him for an hour+ when he was 6 or 7yo to get 10 minutes of homework done. But I can't sit & nag for 3-4 hours on work days especially when DS doesn't finish the work. I know the college is going to complain to us parents about his missed homework; I think I will have to ask the college whether DS can continue or do they want him to quit. I can't make DS want to do things that confuse him. So it feels like they'd rather see back of him.

We could remove his wifi access to all websites except Google Classroom. We could remove data from DS's phone package so he can't do anything but local games and Google classroom on it. But fundamentally, he's not doing the work because he finds it boring & confusing. He'll just play with Lego or the cat instead. He doesn't have the skills to study hard at something that confuses him and confusing makes it boring. He's bored by biology & confused by the math. He could get help or maybe even inspired fairly easily if he could go in person to college but he can't go there in person.

I can't make him want to try hugely harder at things that are confusing & boring. It's not sustainable for me to whipcrack for next 1.5 years either.

I probably need to ask around what other people have done when their kids dropped out of A-levels to help them make other job & skills progress. I'm not sure what I should be asking, especially I assume things like apprenticeships are very difficult now & the college hasn't 100% confirmed they just want to kick him out. DS is nice, hard working & clever. But the current education A-level pathway is a fail for him. I'm just trying to puzzle what else can happen, and how.

My daughter is 11, I’ve taught online and set work for year 7-their parents weren’t their and other than helping my daughter upload work I’ve no idea what she’s been doing.