PugInTheHouse
"Unfortunately people will never see hidden disabilities in the same way. I have had it where DSs teachers have told me I need to teach him to try harder not do certain things, I was furious as she wouldn't have told someone in a wheelchair to try harder to walk."
There is a balance, though. Do we absolve our children with SN of all responsibility? Do we declare that they should be shielded from any uncomfortable, potentially distressing experience? We don't do that for our NT children. DD3 (11) had red, streamy eyes on Monday, after 4 hours sat at the computer doing online learning. I didn't say 'DD3 can't do online learning, it's making her distressed/uncomfortable. I reassured DD3 that although it was quite a shock, it would get easier and she just needs to stick with it.
DD1 started her special secondary having written, at most, 3 lines of writing at one time. When her task was to 'write a story' I contacted the school to say 'wow, you're expecting masses of her.' and they said 'trust us, we'll get her there'. It was absolutely awful for the first half-term, but she did get better at writing. She'll never be a 'writer' but she can write now.
DD1 hates waiting. She finds it really hard. But queues are a feature of society. She has to learn that not everyone will let her go first because she doesn't like to stand in a queue.
I understand that some children will be overwhelmed by their sensory needs and testing will be impossible. But for some children with SN it won't be impossible, just extremely difficult. Those children may need more patience, more coaching, more reassurance, more time, but they can get there.
I think we do children with SN a huge disservice when we exempt them from any tricky moment because they have SN. I know that if DD1 was in mainstream she'd have all sorts of special dispensations and accommodations, 1:1 support, etc., and she'd be far more disabled than she is at special school.