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Original poster

Who the hell can keep this up til Easter (or beyond)?

31 replies

Lemons1571 · 07/01/2021 13:44

We’re only on day 3. I have a splitting headache from trying to work out what the hell I’m supposed to do on the classroom learning platform, as I can’t log on to see DS’s work. Oak keeps freezing for 45 minutes and there is no timely feedback from the class teacher, DS (year 5) has to comment online and wait for an answer which could be late at night. And I wfh full time in a non flexible role involving large fund transfers that I definitely can’t screw up. DH works full time out of the home as a keyworker.

And now we are supposed to be present for 2 registrations a day? What if I have a medical / dental / vet appointment? I have to take DS he’s too young to be left alone for hours. It’s completely unreasonable to give him an unauthorised absence mark. Not allowed to ask anyone to look after him as no one allowed to!

I can’t see how parents can be punished for not being able to meet all these expectations. How is home learning beneficial if we end up without a roof over our heads and our pet dies because we couldn’t get to the vet?

Anyone else feeling a bit desperate about the prospect of trying their best but failing on all levels for months on end?

OP posts:
Original poster
Lemons1571 · 07/01/2021 13:48

I am reaching that point of saying “fuck it, I can’t manage all this, take me to court if you must, but I’m out”

And we’re only on day 3!!

OP posts:
formerbabe · 07/01/2021 13:49

I cannot bear this...six weeks feels like infinity and it will probably be for longer...

Porcupineintherough · 07/01/2021 13:50

Ultimately if you don't/cant/wont do it you wont be punished though will you? And hopefully your pets wont always be needing urgent medical care.

BlueBaubles12 · 07/01/2021 13:52

I’m in a better position than many (I’ve not got any school age kids for a start) but I’m very much at the “oh well, fuck it” stage. Not in the sense of not following the rules (because I will) but in the sense that I’m not going to worry about it any longer. I’ll just deal with situations as they come up, do my best in the circumstance and try to keep a smile on my face.

emmaluggs · 07/01/2021 13:52

Granted I’m not juggling what you are, but take each hour as it comes, do you have appointments you need to attend? If not why worry about something that hadn’t happened yet? This is partly a mindset thing you can only do what you can. We don’t know this is going to be months yet, focus on February with optimism and deal with it at the time if it ends up longer.

Frozenintime · 07/01/2021 13:53

Be there for the registration part and only do the rest if it's possible

Porcupineintherough · 07/01/2021 13:54

Hopefully glitches with the technology will smooth themselves out within a few days. If they dont, or you think the work sent is too much/,not right or you cant homeschool because you need to work then you have 2 choices:

  • modify what is being expected to something more workable/useful that you can manage
  • tell the school you cant deliver and ask for a school place. Then they can decide.

Ultimately though if you cant, you can't . So just do what you can.

cormorantes · 07/01/2021 13:55

My teens are in absolute despair, and I can't blame them. The desperately unsatisfactory online learning stretching out with no end in sight, they can't really get outside in daylight due to the online stuff, nothing else in their lives. It is beyond bleak, even with the vaccine hope. And then they are the lucky ones with a warm home and a laptop each. Fucking horrible.

WhatWillSantaBring · 07/01/2021 13:56

Yes, I feel utterly lost and emotional at the thought of keeping this up till March.

To address your particularly concern, what are the consequences if your DC have multiple absences? I cannot see how you'd get fined for non-attendance? So just tell the school politely, but firmly, that you'll do your best but sometimes DC will not be present at registration.

I know of women (funny, never men) being asked or told to reduce their hours to cover homeschooling - so being forced to take a paycut. (I completely appreciate that just having a job at the moment makes you fortunate, but that doesn't actually change things for the person who is being put under financial pressure by this).

For me, the thing that's killing me is watching the damage to my DC's mental health. They're both so sad, and struggling so much to be cheerful. I know it's on me to keep the family bubble happy, but I'm at the end of my tether trying to balance f/t work and homeschooling. Trying to keep my shit together is hard at the best of times. People say "don't have such high expectations" but I don't - I just want to keep my kids happy, safe and loved. That is a full time fucking job!

Zoomaway · 07/01/2021 13:59

Email the school and explain your point of view. Ask if there will be any changes to the way things are running and see if things can be resolved that way.

My Dd is y5 and she is expected to log on for 3 zoom sessions with her teacher in the day. It has actually helped me a lot as during that time as she has been occupied and focussed on the teacher and lesson, freeing me up to check on the other dcs and also do other jobs... I have to help dd to download and print the work and also upload the completed work, but the rest is pretty ok for her to get on with.

So, I would ask the school if there is any possibility of making things more manageable. It's still early days and people are still learning and things may change in the next week or so as they make adjustments.

Zoomaway · 07/01/2021 14:00

Oh, and our school were really rubbish with home learning in March. They have definitely sorted things out now 😅

NoSquirrels · 07/01/2021 14:03

Yes, it's very very shit.

BUT - for the medical appointment, you'd need to take him or rearrange for when your DP could be home (taking unpaid leave if urgent, I guess)

  • for the dental appointment, similar
  • for the vet appointment, take your DC with your animal. Our vet is asking people to wait outside/in cars anyway, so they take the animal in for treatment without you.

you're not likely to be absent for these reasons for much of the time. And if you can't make it for registration you can't make it. Not much will happen - school will log it as a concern if you don't tell them why and you do it repeatedly, but the odd time they are not going to care because absolutely LOADS of us are in the same position.

Try not to worry too much. Easier said than done, I know.

MillieEpple · 07/01/2021 14:06

I can keep up with my secondary age child as his school are doing well and he is self-motivated an able to access everything.

I can't do the primary school stuff with my child with SEN - its completely inaccessible in the ways its delivered and its not differentiated for his level.

MrGruWeLoveYou · 07/01/2021 14:11

@Lemons1571 Hi. I am an education welfare officer. There is absolutely no way you will be fined or marked unauthorised absence. Please don't worry about that. It is an awful situation all round, I am sorry that this is so hard for so many people. But you absolutely cannot, will not be fined. I promise.

Lockdownlovernotfromliverpool · 07/01/2021 14:11

5 dc supposed to be home learning here... 2 laptops won't log on. School line is busy /no answer . Tech team haven't managed to help as yet. Have given up with ds 6 as his work isn't available. We are eating sweets and watching a film!! My head is battered...

formerbabe · 07/01/2021 14:13

Even without the home learning itsan unbearable situation. Six weeks in shit weather to fill with nowhere to go and no one to see...and six weeks is being optimistic.

Feeling very low today

whatayear20 · 07/01/2021 14:13

My school have sent out work sheets for the kids. Great!! Except the maths work was 24 pages on day one , 28 yesterday and 21 today. Very little actually work but Tons of paper and ink. I have told them know not printing that again. It's an utter waste.

SmileyClare · 07/01/2021 14:16

I'm probably stating the obvious but You can "log in" to registration if you're out of your home, as long as you can get WiFi on your phone. Say for example, you were waiting to be seen at the vets or doctors.

No tips for the rest of your difficulties though. It's really tough and a lot of families are facing similar frustrations if that makes you feel any better.
You can't perform miracles so if ds cannot complete all the work set then so be it. The rest of the class will also be having tech issues I imagine.

Carlislemumof4 · 07/01/2021 14:21

Court and fines, surely not when your child has been refused access to the classroom?

After last year's experience and feeling close to a breakdown, I am completely ignoring the school's demands and pressure. This week, while both I and my DCs get used to the idea of a long term closure, we're mainly reading and getting outside in daylight hours. Little bit of spelling shed and TT Rockstars. Lego, games, puzzles and colouring other than that.

Next week the CBBC primary programming starts and we're absolutely going to use that and the Bitesize content online, Bitesize Daily saved lockdown for us last time round! Joe Wicks as well.

If school want to hassle me about 'attendance' I can have my children in for 8.50 tomorrow. As that won't be allowed they can leave me alone to try and look after everyone's mental and physical health between now and at least Easter it seems.

zigaziga · 07/01/2021 14:56

I haven’t been doing registration Blush I never thought that could result in an absence? ShockShock
My DS finds it really tedious and it was starting the day off badly. They know he’s online because they see him in other lessons and we’ve handed in “assignments”. No one has said anything. I assumed it was optional.

Delatron · 07/01/2021 15:17

We get marked as absent if we don’t log on at 9am and 1pm.

sg622 · 07/01/2021 15:31

This was me on Monday and Tuesday. I have 2 kids at home (Yr1 and Yr 5) and I was so stressed during the first lockdown trying to keep all the balls up in the air that I almost made myself ill, and it took all summer for me to get back to myself again. I could feel the pressure building again this week, and I just resolved yesterday not to let that happen again. I emailed the school and explained my situation, and told them we would focus on the essentials but might not get to some of the topic, craft projects, etc. The teacher was lovely about it and totally supportive. I also spoke to my boss and asked her to put in place a few things as a back up for me if I become too stretched to do my job properly. I don't know if I'll get it all, but I feel better having stated my case and outlined my needs. Having done both those things I still feel busy, but much less stressed for having flagged the issues and doing as much as I can to control them. Please don't feel like you are failing if you don't manage all of the home learning/work takes longer to turnaround/the kids watch a bit too much tv. We all just have to do our best in a shit situation and running yourself into the ground trying to do it all won't help anyone in the long term.

SmileyClare · 07/01/2021 15:48

We all have to do our best in a shit situation and running yourself into the ground trying to do it all won't help anyone in the long term

Absolutely this. I would second the recommendation to email your son's primary outlining your situation and explaining any short falls. Another thing to add to your To Do list! but it will ease some of the pressure on you.

Icanseegreenshoots · 07/01/2021 16:02

No court in the land will prosecute you op. No one is going to take you to court, and you simply need to sign in and do your best.

If you can't do it, ask said kids to read to you twice a day and write a story or a diary. Sing times tables and bake using measurements.

Staying cheerful will do for your child than any number of science and maths sheets.

There are no awards for killing yourself op. Do what you can when you can. Thats it. And take care of yourself, first and foremost.

3littlewords · 07/01/2021 16:08

Yep day 3 and I'm sat here in tears already, the thought of doing this for months on end fills Me with absolute dread. Trying to oversee 3 dc learning, making sure they are online at the right times,they understand the work being sent, nagging them to do the actual work, sending it all back to the relevant teachers. Youngest dc needs constant supervision to do anything so the older 2 are neglected somewhat. They are bored off their heads with little time to run off any energy (we have the tiniest garden) so they're running wild in the house or fighting with each other and oh my god they eat.....constantly! Most used saying this week is Mum im hungry!
It would be somewhat bearable if there was somewhere else to go or someone else to see to break up the monotony. Given theres no close end in sight makes it even harder