To send child to nursery?

[Anotherdayanothernewname]

Hi, I can't seem to make a decision and have gone round in cirlcles and over thought this now.

I have 3 DC: 2 primary, 1 nursery. Both DP and I have been furloughed, obviously primary closed, nursery child still able to attend but not needed for childcare reasons.

Do we send him in or keep him home? Not sure what to do for the best. Sending him would give us some structure to the day and allow us to focus on homeschooling other 2. But as he doesn't need to go, are we best keeping him home? He's quite happy to go, just don't know whether it's safer to keep him home, or better for his social interactions and development to go in.

Will nursery workers expect only key worker children to attend, even though it is still open to all children?

I wouldn’t send them. The message was very clear, stay home unless absolutely necessary.

Seems daft to risk the virus for one person going out who doesn’t need too and the extra risk it places on staff and other families.

I thought that, his nursery have said it's business as usual and they're happy to have children in. One minute I decide to keep him home and then go back to sending him in so things can be semi normal.

This last year has got me feeling unsure of every decision I've made when it comes to the DC

I would send him in. That would then let you focus on homeschooling the other 2 children so they get the best outcome possible

Would you still have to pay normal price if you don’t send in?

Ours emailed pretty swiftly saying you can keep them home, but will have to pay to hold place or pay months notice and loose place if another kid joins!

I'm sending mine in, just 2 days a week. We are paying for it, and I expect it will close soon enough as there is pressure to close from many directions! I find it is hard homeschooling with a toddler running around at home, and he needs the stimulation of seeing his nursery friends. He's been off two weeks for Christmas and I don't want him to lose the habit of going.

@OverTheRainbow88

He just has the 15 funded hours, so just does mornings. But it would help to have mornings freed up to homeschool, then we can have a break at lunch time, pick him up, go for a walk or something, then if there's any work left in the afternoon will get that finished.

School work isn't done via zoom or anything, it just gets assigned in the morning and needs to be handed in in the evening, there's no time slots for different lessons, as long as it's handed in by end of day.

@SillyOldMummy

That's my concern too, if we keep him off he might not want to go back, and he can socialise with children his own age.

Send him - your have the option and it will do you all good.

Ignore these weirdos thst want everyone to be chained up at home.

My son is going in, he loves seeing his friends abs burns off some energy, allowing me to focus on work and DD.

No. An extra risk to staff and you. I've withdrawn my child for similar reasons.

I would send him. I am week on week off with work now (in school) so when I am at work, my kids will be in too. When I'm not, I'll be home schooling the older two in a building site. He is way better off continuing to go to nursery as encouraged by them, so I can focus on the other two for a few hours.

I think you also need to consider that not all the parents are following the rules. I’ve had to ask a child to stay home for 10 days today because she told me she was on a play date yesterday with 3 three of her cousins. Take up the place, but don’t assume that it will be safe. The nursery can put in control measure but they need everyone to stick to the rules for them to work.

Our son is still going. I think they are so little and really need the socialisation and interaction from other people in order to aid their development. We have weighed up the risks and feel this is the best option for him

A no from me to. I feel if you don’t desperately need to send them in it’s just another person mixing in society that can be avoided. Everyone makes a difference all ages. It’s not about learning to be chained up at home, it’s about the bigger picture. Right now it’s pretty bleak.

I'd send him. It'll really help with homeschooling and be good for him. Obviously weighted against the risk of catching the virus, but that's your call

I would send mine in. Mine is going in although DH and I are both working and he is a key worker (and my employer are trying to claim I am too, not sure how). But even if we weren't we would still send them. My DD benefits from nursery and she's been at two different nurseries, been at nursery all through lockdown and there has never been a single identified positive case in any of the bubbles/rooms she's been in. Also, think about the fact that things could change and the choice could taken away from you and you might regret not sending them now whilst you could.

No. I would keep him at home and do your best between you and DH to manage nd keep under review if your situation changes e.g. Either of you having to go back to work for instance - even then I'd question whether it's absolutely necessary to go to nursery and risk being infecting and spreading the virus.

Not enough people (certainly not here on MN) are taking this seriously enough. Unless people really start to follow the rules this pandemic is just going to continue.

Mine is going. I'm working from home, home schooling an 8 year old and trying to finish and pass my degree without any face to face teaching.
He loves it so it's an easy decision.

I'm on mat leave and not due back until mid Feb. I've kept my DD4 and DS1, who was due to settle in this week, off. I can manage so why not? When I'm back at work however, it's a different story and I will have to send them.

I'm sending in and am comfortable as I need to work and supervise the other children doing online learning.

I wouldn't feel bad about sending him in for 15hrs, from his point of view he gets to play somewhere different and see other children and the 6 week minimum lockdown is a long time if you're that small. You might be grateful to keep him in the routine of going if it's extended.

If you and DH were trying to work from home, OP, with two school-age children and a toddler to care for I think it would be reasonable to send him. But given you and DH are both furloughed it seems totally unnecessary I'm afraid. Surely you and DH could easily take turns to either help the older two with school work or look after the little one? Many, many people are juggling work with home-learning and toddlers/babies so what you have to deal with sounds perfectly manageable (unless you have a lot on your plate that you haven't mentioned?).
Yes, nursery is open, but you haven't paid for it and don't really need it. Toddlers need to socialise and burn off energy, but you and DH can see to that can't you? The more we all minimise our contacts with others the sooner this will all be over.

How would they be 'breaking the rules' @Fancycrackers?

Depends really on the rates of your area and your appetite for risk. It’s off the scale in my part of the country. So our risk is high, and if I send DD back I have to accept that we are pretty likely, as a family, to end up with covid. It’s going round like wildfire. I’m weighing that up with her emotional and development needs. There is no answer and you’ll not find a consensus or straight forward argument either way. Just that if you do send back, it’s really better for their emotional needs, but health wise it puts the whole family at some degree of risk. Not right or wrong to this one!!

If it's not completely necessary, than I wouldn't. If primary school children are vectors for transmission, so are preschool/nursery children. Ultimately it's safer you him, your other children, you and the staff if you don't. I'm a keyworker working from home, DH non essential retail manager - but on meetings/training every day mon-fri, we are meeting DD3 home because we can manage. It also means the grandparents are safer to look after her on any super hectic days that come up, and maintain contact with us/her which is important for their mental health.

I work in a nursery and I think it’s massively selfish for parents to send them in without a real need. Even half the parents wfh could manage.
Unless they’re key workers, sen, or difficulties at home such as mental health ect I don’t think parents should be sending nursery kids in. All other parents are having to manage, and that’s with home schooling. It’s not fair on nursery staff.
Nursery managers might say it’s fine, but believe me, staff are worried.