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Would you consider this ‘taking the piss’?

37 replies

BathFullOfEels · 06/01/2021 13:20

My dm lives a 25 minute walk from my house. She’s 70 but much fitter than I am, we’re ‘bubbled’ together but I’m in no way caring for her. She lives alone.

I decided that I’d take my 2 dc to hers everyday for a couple of hours after they’ve had their Zoom lessons so they can get on with their work in peace without being distracted by their toys/ tv/ iPads etc which my dm doesn’t have. My dm is very happy with this arrangement and is the one who suggested it in the first place. Then, after they’ve done their work we’ll walk home via park/ beach.

I told my dsis about this arrangement, saying it’s nice as it gives a bit more structure, means dm isn’t alone and will hopefully be manageable throughout this lockdown. Dsis thinks I’m massively stretching the rules - I shouldn’t be bubbled unless we’re providing care or dm desperately needs company, it shouldn’t be done just because you can. I can find nothing that suggests this is the case. That even bubbled together I shouldn’t be going into her house unless absolutely necessary so, again, I’m interpreting the rules to suit me. We need only allowed out to exercise once a day - my walk to DM’s, walk home AND the inclusion of beach/ park is again taking us out of the house for much longer and more often than we’re supposed to be. The walk from mine to DM’s isn’t through town, it’s a pretty rural area across fields and woods, the beaches here are pretty inaccessible and not busy even in summer and I wouldn’t let them go on playground equipment if others were using it.

Am I taking the piss? Is it much more risky to walk to my DM’s house and spend a few hours there or just have DM stay at mine for a while (plenty of room, the main reason she’s not come yet is because she wants to water the plants at hers).

OP posts:
Yorkie127 · 06/01/2021 13:24

You're not taking the piss at all! Support bubbles can be formed with someone who lives alone, no questions and no social distancing. It's an extension of your household. Ignore anyone who says otherwise Smile

dementedpixie · 06/01/2021 13:25

Mayne just jealous that you have plans beyond your own house

SillyOldMummy · 06/01/2021 13:26

It's fine you are within the rules. I hope so otherwise I am breaking them too. Following...

BathFullOfEels · 06/01/2021 13:34

Phew, thank you. I know support bubbles were allowed but my dsis was talking about them as if they should only be used if there was absolutely no alternafive. I’m glad to hear I’m not the only one who is using them to see a single relative/ friend.

OP posts:
Mumdiva99 · 06/01/2021 13:36

Sounds great. If my mum wasn't out left right and centre and helping my grown up brother.....i would love to form a bubble with my parents and think this idea/plan is fab. Good luck.

cadburyegg · 06/01/2021 13:38

That’s well within the rules. My DM drives to me 3 days a week so she can look after my kids for a couple of hours. This is no different

KitKatastrophe · 06/01/2021 13:39

Support bubbles are not there as an emergency or "no other option" thing. You can visit as often as you want, for as long as you want, within the rules. It's basically treated as though your mum lives with you.

movingonup20 · 06/01/2021 13:40

It's within the rules currently. Whether it should be is a fair comment from your dsis but it is fine

thefallthroughtheair · 06/01/2021 13:40

Just do whatever is best for you.

KitKat1985 · 06/01/2021 13:40

Your Mum is alone and is therefore allowed to join as a support bubble into your household. There is as far as I am aware no limit to the amount of time that support bubbles can spend together.

Lockdownlovernotfromliverpool · 06/01/2021 13:42

I would say managing good mh as you suggest would be good for all involved..

SleepingStandingUp · 06/01/2021 13:43

Where does your sis live? Is she jealous you're seeing your Mom every day meaning she can't?

IToldYouIWasFreaky · 06/01/2021 13:47

It's basically treated as though your mum lives with you

Yes, exactly. Your support bubble becomes part of your household.

I'm in a similar situation to you where we've bubbled with my mum, in her 70s, but more to provide a social contact rather than her needing any care (though we do do her shopping) or us needing childcare.

I think you've come up with a great routine that's within the rules but provides all of you with some company, a change of scene and exercise.

Whatwouldscullydo · 06/01/2021 13:49

Its within the rules its fine.

Ignore the comments.

thaegumathteth · 06/01/2021 13:57

It's within the rules.

Maybe your sisters envious? It doesn't excuse her having a go but I can understand it tbh. Even reading your post makes me wish I could see my mum. My sister lives near mum - we are in a different country - and there have been times when I've been really jealous. I hope that doesn't make me sound like a horrible person - I'm really glad my sister is there but I just miss my mum.

mynameiscalypso · 06/01/2021 14:01

I wonder if there's a touch of envy too - my DP are bubbled with my brother and his wife as they had a baby recently. It makes sense but I'm also sad that I and my DS get to miss out on face-to-face time with my parents.

Sunshineandflipflops · 06/01/2021 14:09

Are we only allowed out once a day to exercise? I didn't think this was the case? I went put twice yesterday to walk back from dropping my car at the garage and to walk to collect it later with my kids to get them out of the house.

I walked for 30 mins today at lunch time and will do so again after work. It's that or I open a bottle of wine, which I wold say is more harmful to me and the nhs if it continues. So I'm walking twice a day.

I am also in a bubble with my bf so travel to see him 1/2 times a week, because I am allowed.

Brakebackcyclebot · 06/01/2021 14:19

You are right. Your sister is wrong.

10kaDay · 06/01/2021 14:19

Its within the rules, & I can see the advantages. I have been following the rules strictly, and am very keen to avoid catching/passing on Covid.

I think your plan sounds a good idea ON THE CONDITION that your children have not been in contact with others outside their own household for 10-14 days (& that if that changes, eg you go shopping etc, I would be more cautious)

You might want to tell your sister that bubbles are intended to allow people to maintain their practical/physical/emotional needs: reaching breaking point helps no one

I would also consider the risk to your DM & avoid if your children have other contact or if you work outside the home - she is your sister's DM too and I would be very concerned if one our siblings put my mum at risk esp as its only a few months til over 70s will have vaccine (hopefully weeks)

TheOrigRights · 06/01/2021 14:31

It sounds perfect for everyone.

SleepingStandingUp · 06/01/2021 14:34

@TheOrigRights

It sounds perfect for everyone.
Unless op has commandeered the bubble with Mom meaning her sister isn't allowed to see her
Lockdownlovernotfromliverpool · 06/01/2021 14:36

No limitations on amount of time outside that I have seen.
Stay local seems to be the message..

KEA321 · 06/01/2021 14:40

You are absolutely in the right. I am doing the same with my mum.

TheOrigRights · 06/01/2021 14:45

Unless op has commandeered the bubble with Mom meaning her sister isn't allowed to see her

There is nothing in the OP to suggest her sister wanted to form a bubble, only that the OP shouldn't have formed one at all.

"Who gets to bubble" is an entirely different discussion to "are we allowed to bubble".

TheOrigRights · 06/01/2021 14:47

@Sunshineandflipflops

Are we only allowed out once a day to exercise? I didn't think this was the case? I went put twice yesterday to walk back from dropping my car at the garage and to walk to collect it later with my kids to get them out of the house.

I walked for 30 mins today at lunch time and will do so again after work. It's that or I open a bottle of wine, which I wold say is more harmful to me and the nhs if it continues. So I'm walking twice a day.

I am also in a bubble with my bf so travel to see him 1/2 times a week, because I am allowed.

The first wasn't exercise, it was essential travel for your car.

Yes, it is meant to be only once a day for exercise.

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