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Would you consider this ‘taking the piss’?

37 replies

BathFullOfEels · 06/01/2021 13:20

My dm lives a 25 minute walk from my house. She’s 70 but much fitter than I am, we’re ‘bubbled’ together but I’m in no way caring for her. She lives alone.

I decided that I’d take my 2 dc to hers everyday for a couple of hours after they’ve had their Zoom lessons so they can get on with their work in peace without being distracted by their toys/ tv/ iPads etc which my dm doesn’t have. My dm is very happy with this arrangement and is the one who suggested it in the first place. Then, after they’ve done their work we’ll walk home via park/ beach.

I told my dsis about this arrangement, saying it’s nice as it gives a bit more structure, means dm isn’t alone and will hopefully be manageable throughout this lockdown. Dsis thinks I’m massively stretching the rules - I shouldn’t be bubbled unless we’re providing care or dm desperately needs company, it shouldn’t be done just because you can. I can find nothing that suggests this is the case. That even bubbled together I shouldn’t be going into her house unless absolutely necessary so, again, I’m interpreting the rules to suit me. We need only allowed out to exercise once a day - my walk to DM’s, walk home AND the inclusion of beach/ park is again taking us out of the house for much longer and more often than we’re supposed to be. The walk from mine to DM’s isn’t through town, it’s a pretty rural area across fields and woods, the beaches here are pretty inaccessible and not busy even in summer and I wouldn’t let them go on playground equipment if others were using it.

Am I taking the piss? Is it much more risky to walk to my DM’s house and spend a few hours there or just have DM stay at mine for a while (plenty of room, the main reason she’s not come yet is because she wants to water the plants at hers).

OP posts:
BlueBaubles12 · 06/01/2021 14:48

Sounds fine to me.

SleepingStandingUp · 06/01/2021 14:56

@TheOrigRights

Unless op has commandeered the bubble with Mom meaning her sister isn't allowed to see her

There is nothing in the OP to suggest her sister wanted to form a bubble, only that the OP shouldn't have formed one at all.

"Who gets to bubble" is an entirely different discussion to "are we allowed to bubble".

Well I was relying to the perfect for everyone Vs perfect for you mom and you. And I'm not accusing op of anything, I asked, she's not replied
Blue1316 · 06/01/2021 15:01

Sounds fine. We’re using both sets of grandparents as childcare now, 2 days a week each. I know it’s against the rules but if they are here I cannot work. If they go there the grandparents do their school work with them and are able to take them out on walks etc. If they stayed here they would be spending the next 6 weeks on iPad and I’d be having a breakdown with the guilt!

Nousernameforme · 06/01/2021 15:09

Any sources for the once a day exercise rule I cant find anything

Verrucapepper · 06/01/2021 15:13

Lovely for you all. Do it. Wish my in laws were as sensible as your family as they’ve dropped us like a bomb this lockdown.

10kaDay · 06/01/2021 15:18

@Nousernameforme

Any sources for the once a day exercise rule I cant find anything
Its on the govt website here, its 1x day & local: www.gov.uk/guidance/national-lockdown-stay-at-home#exercising-and-meeting-other-people

Exercising and meeting other people
You should minimise time spent outside your home.

It is against the law to meet socially with family or friends unless they are part of your household or support bubble. You can only leave your home to exercise, and not for the purpose of recreation or leisure (e.g. a picnic or a social meeting). This should be limited to once per day, and you should not travel outside your local area.

You can exercise in a public outdoor place:

by yourself
with the people you live with
with your support bubble (if you are legally permitted to form one)
in a childcare bubble where providing childcare
or, when on your own, with 1 person from another household
Public outdoor places include:

parks, beaches, countryside accessible to the public, forests
public gardens (whether or not you pay to enter them)
the grounds of a heritage site
playgrounds
Outdoor sports venues, including tennis courts, golf courses and swimming pools, must close.

When around other people, stay 2 metres apart from anyone not in your household - meaning the people you live with - or your support bubble. Where this is not possible, stay 1 metre apart with extra precautions (e.g. wearing a face covering).

dementedpixie · 06/01/2021 15:19

Thats not the law that's guidance. It says 'should' not must

10kaDay · 06/01/2021 15:28

@dementedpixie

Thats not the law that's guidance. It says 'should' not must
@dementedpixie: Are you a parent? Do you have elderly relatives?

Is your child's education being interrupted & your parents not getting the healthcare they need because of selfish people not wanting to obey 'guidance' to limit this virus? Hmm

dementedpixie · 06/01/2021 15:32

Exercising more than once a day isn't going to spread the virus to all and sundry

Yes I'm a parent and yes I have elderly relatives too Hmm

BathFullOfEels · 06/01/2021 15:44

My dsis lives in a different country in the UK, my dm asked if she wanted to come and stay with her when another lockdown looked imminent but she didn’t. I think dsis is just as fed up with this as everyone else is but still of the faith that if everyone follows the guidance to the letter it will all be over soon.

Dc’s were at school on Monday (thanks for convincing me to make them go in, BJ!) so possibly I should have kept them away from DM for a while after that but I haven’t. They obviously won’t be mixing with anyone else from now on. I go shopping alone once a week (get my DM’s stuff too) while dm has the dc but that’s the only other ‘risky’ thing I do.

OP posts:
SleepingStandingUp · 06/01/2021 15:51

Then as long as your Mom has a choice and could say no (which sounds like she can) it's fine.

Lucieintheskye · 06/01/2021 15:52

Definitely not taking the piss! Whether you're there for 10 minutes caring for her or 10 hours occupying her home, there's as much risk so you'd be mad not to go over there and keep her company! It sounds like a very reasonable set up that benefits all of you.

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