1 keyworker, im a sahm - should I send my child into school?

[Fieldsoftripe9]

Husband is keyworker. We are a low income family.

5 yo, 3 yo and 8 month old. I'm struggling massively with PPD and a very high needs baby who doesn't sleep in the day or at night and cries. A lot.

Struggled to homeschool and help facilitate Google teams meetings for 5 year old during isolation, in the end we logged in and logged out again.

We do not have a spare laptop/tablet and cannot afford to buy one and we do not have any quiet area of the apartment for our daughter to work, never mind with my help.

Our school is allowing children of 1 keyworker into school. I do not feel like I can support my 5 year olds learning at the moment. I'm lucky if we can all just survive the day with no other expectations.

Should I relay this info to the school and send my child in or should I just accept my daughter wont be able to do any learning at home other than playing with her toys and tell them so?

You are entitled to send your child into school and it sounds as though you and she would benefit a lot from this. I think you should if that's the best decision for your family.

In your case I'd send her in. Talk to the school.

I wouldn’t. I know it is difficult right now but schools are unlikely to be closed beyond Easter.

Yes. If you find you aren't eligible under keyworker proving for whatever reason, ask if you can qualify under "vulnerable", as Mum is unwell and therefore presently unable to facilitate home learning.

*provision

I'd discuss honestly with the school. You PPD might be seen by school as a reason in itself to have DD in school. Schools will ultimately try and do as much as they can to support families of their pupils, within the limits they have.

At my DS' primary, 1 keyworker families can apply for a keyworker space but its clear that the other parent needs to also be working too. So for our school, a SAHM would mean DS wouldn't get a space. As I said though, have a conversation with school and go from there.

Really, not many households with working parents and a 5yr old will be doing much homeschooling - so, honestly, don't overstress yourself with this too much. A bedtime story and some reading will suffice if needs be!

I'd say yes but are the school flexible? Could you offer to try for a week and if it is disrupting her learning, take up a place in a week?

I know it's hard, but so many people are in similar positions right now.

Her education (and your families wellbeing) is important though, so don't feel bad about taking a place if you have to. Would it need to be every day? Would just 1-2 days a week at school work?

Thank you all for being so kind. I will talk it over with the school and see what they say. I feel its unfair on the teachers and to take a keyworkers space but equally I feel its unfair on my daughter if baby is very miserable and I'm having a shitty day and can't do anything with her.

Teacher here- given the circumstances you describe I would send them to school.

Don't see the issue - you qualify, so if you are happy with the safety of sending her in, then why not?

Honestly, you are home, and even if you were working at home whilst looking after all 3, it's questionable about whether you'd be able to send the eldest to school in a lot of places as many won't allow it if there is anyone at home at all, or unless both parents are keyworker, working out of the home.

Many people are going to be providing minimal education for the next few weeks - if providing decent schooling was the bar for sending them to school, none of us would be juggling. I understand how stressed you must be, but personally I think you leave the spaces free for parents that are physically unable to look after their children because of work. Do any of your younger children go to childcare?

Even if you squeeze in an hour of learning on the days your husband has off, it's amazing what concentrated 1-2-1 learning can do with a child. Other than that, leave her to play, perhaps with a few educational games that she could also play with your 3 year old.

I know you probably just want a break
@Handsoffstrikesagain Did you not see the bit where she said she has post partum depression and a high-needs baby? Your situation is very different.

Talk to the school and make whatever decision is best all round.

I would say, though, that not missing out on a bit of schooling at 5 years old is NOT the end of the world. Schools are closed to minimise household mixing to try and keep a lid on the virus - the more kids in school, the more household mixing, and while the kids themselves are safe they could bring it home to parents and others who then become ill and possibly place a burden on the NHS. Also, the more kids in school the greater the chance of there being a positive case and the whole bubble needing to close - leaving the children of frontline medical staff etc without any childcare.

Today was our first day of online learning. In a year group of just over 60 kids, HALF of them were in school. So they crammed them all into one classroom to be taught by one class teacher, and the 'at home' half had the full attention of the other class teacher.

We really, really need clearer guidance on what circumstances are appropriate to send kids to school, and what are not. I suspect a lot of them are there because it's not possible to work effectively from home with kids there. But if only those with SAHP keep their kids off, there's little point in saying that schools are closed because they really aren't.

Here, I'll be getting up at 5am to get a few hours' work in each day before waking DC for online school. Then trying to supervise/support DC all day. Then working again from 3pm to 9pm. It's going to be f**king awful. But surely it's the right thing to do? Both DH and I are key workers but we can keep DC at home. How on earth will schools manage if everyone in our position sends them in?

On another thread someone put it really well. You're not taking someone else's place if you send your DC in. Your DC is taking their own place.

Yr 1 or r?
But anyway they hardly do any learning, certainly yr r.
Look at end of yr expectations.
Mine is yr r and can already do number bonds to 10 for eg. So only needs more writing practice and reading. The reading progress is mainly made at home anyway.

The ppd is obviously different matter though

but with these ages and not much school work it's not hugely different to a school holiday.

Today with my 5yo weve done 20min of reading eggs. And some bitesize about electricity and romans. (For my older dc really). and read a book.

If school is accepting them, send them in.

That's it.

I would really lower your expectations for schooling a 5 year old. In lots of countries children don't even start formal learning until age 7. If the idea of homeschooling is stressing you out, just do it the old fashioned way - read story books to them, get her to do counting games, buy/borrow her books about things that interest her. Ignore the worksheets and online school if that helps. If she was 10 it would be different, but at 5 it will be fine. Maybe try a week or two with this 'unschooling' approach and if that still isn't working for you, send her in?

@Handsoffstrikesagain

tiggers, I’ve been there with post natal depression, a brand new baby with reflux and a 14 month old. Oh and a DH who was away for 4 months. Please don’t assume I cannot relate.

You did it hard - that doesn't mean this woman should do it as hard as you did assuming that was all during covid lockdown.

We shouldn't benchmark expected levels of endurance by our own previously lamentable circumstances. We should try to provide for new mums what we didn't have so they don't run the risks we did.