My children are fine with being at home...

[HmmSureJan]

And were happy they didn't have to go back to school yet. Dd doesn't like the on line work but days it's better than being at school so grins and bears it. Anyone else? I only ask because I see so many threads on here speaking of ruined childhoods and devastated children who have been abandoned to their fate. I just wondered if anyone had children like mine 🤷🏼‍♀️

@HyperHippo

School is a funny thing it is ordered but busy, stimulating, required energy, sociable, demanding and so many other things all at the same time. And all these things can be brilliant or awful. Some children need it and love it, some hate it and some are in between. Most days fine, others can't deal with it.

I guess like a lot of us in our jobs.

Yes I agree with this post

Some thrive, some miss it more. Then some in between. Well put. And yes like those struggling with wfh or not.

@Oaktree55

I think a lot of (especially middle class) mums use kids mental health being ruined as an excuse because the parents need school more than the kids do. Obviously not all cases but a high % of the most vocal.

I think you are right. Won’t be a popular opinion on here though 😉

10 year old is upset. It’s her birthday this week which I think has massively compounded things as she wanted to go for a walk with her little group of friends and now she can’t. She’s ok with online school though, she had to SI last term and she worked whilst my DH wfh no problem.

6 year old very happy to stay home, excels at maths so will whizz through that, then will try and do English and come unravelled.

4 year old only started school this year, no idea what home learning will be like but he’s fine at home.

I am sad for them not seeing their friends but having had a term back at school I can see their resilience and know they will get through this. I am most concerned for my eldest as I think she will get a bit down, and I will need to find a way to mitigate that.

But my kids are healthy, neurotypical and don’t struggle at school. They are also reasonably young and will probably not remember a huge deal about this!

@Oaktree55

I think a lot of (especially middle class) mums use kids mental health being ruined as an excuse because the parents need school more than the kids do. Obviously not all cases but a high % of the most vocal.

eh? What does being middle class have to do with it? What a ridiculous thing to say. Are working class mums tougher, or are the kids? Different ship, same storm.

DS is 18 and in final year of 6th form. He’s struggling with lack of social life and contact (even though they chat online), parties and opportunity to meet girls...He’s also not great at online study. I thought he’d be pleased A levels are cancelled but he’s not - he’s like me, needed a deadline to pull his socks up

For all the parents of 'fine' kids:- don't they miss real life contact with friends/peers?

Is there any advice for how to achieve this? Mine are distraught (despite having each other). They are happy to game a bit or chat a bit but screens send them on such a downer.

I think a lot of (especially middle class) mums use kids mental health being ruined as an excuse because the parents need school more than the kids do. Obviously not all cases but a high % of the most vocal.

Surely it depends on the child - and the families circumstances and how well the school is doing on-line plus having a child in an exam year is very different experience to having a younger child with more catch up time.

DD2 is coping better in Y7 than she did at the end of yr6 - for many reasons which is making eveything easier for everyone else in the family.

@RaspberryCoulis

Good for them. I'm sure their medals are on the way.

Incredibly rude and so unnecessary. The OP was merely stating how things were at her house.

For the record, my two (yr 6 & yr 8) love home schooling as well - less formal and they can get snacks and much around in their rooms between lessons - they are bright kids and so don’t find remote learning too stressful, which obviously helps - although the Yr 8 (girl) would prefer to go back because she misses her friends.

@HyperHippo good post.

DS is a bit of a homebody. He is happy that they are back to remote learning. They have a 'live' timetable and will get homework, so no easy ride. In fact in the summer term I think he worked harder than when in school. He was quite anxious about going back into school next week as Y11, and was relieved to be told they weren't. Obviously we have the worry about GCSEs but he doesn't seem fazed by that at the moment (unlike me!)

It is nice to see that there are children who are coping/enjoying being at home. Think it is quite bad other posters deriding them. Would they prefer everyone to be miserable. Do they have any sympathy for families whose children struggle coping with school in normal times. Because, however long this lockdown lasts many children will spend more time being miserable in school during their school lifetime, than other children will during lockdown.

don't they miss real life contact with friends/peers?

Mine does especially the teen. He still has chats etc and sounds happy / laughing etc which helps. It got a lot easier when they could meet up last time but it is harder if they can’t like now. I think it’s tough as education and socialising on screen based / online. Some will prefer it but not all.

@herethereandeverywhere why do you think screens send them on a downer? How old are they? Chatting to friends doesn’t necessarily really need to involve a screen. I’ve noticed my Dd (16) isn’t really looking at the screen when chatting on FaceTime and ds wanders round the house chatting to friends on his Xbox headset without actually playing the Xbox!

What is it about screens that gets them down do you think? Could they watch films/tv series over houseparty? Dd enjoys doing that. Ds (14) has been really enjoying playing monopoly over Christmas on the Xbox with his friends.

Obviously they do miss seeing friends in person and Dd particularly is sad about that. But she’s going to do some walks one to one to keep up a bit of personal contact.

@PriceEmUp

Unpopular opinion but I think a good chunk of the ‘my child really misses school they shouldn’t close they MUST attend’ are because the parents just don’t want to home educate for this period, or that they dread the children being home in general.

I’m sure a good amount of children are absolutely thrilled not to be going to school.

You don’t see kids crying over the summer holidays do you?

I do think there are a small amount that do need it though. Those with not the best home lives perhaps? Sad thought though.

Definitely the case. And all of the “THE WORLD IS ENDING AND THEIR FUTURES ARE RUINED” drama is probably going to rub off on the DCs.

Think DS likes the proximity of the fridge and kettle during school hours!

don't they miss real life contact with friends/peers?

Y7 seems to mean of DD2 firends have access to tech which means they can chat so she's less isolated than in Yr6.

DD1 uses what's app on her phone and school Team groups - I worry bit more about DS seems to have less contact with friends.

But there's five of us here and cats - so they're not by themselves all day - so they miss their friends but it could be worse.

2 of mine are happy, the third would rather be in school as he says he can focus better on doing the work. He begged me to get him a keyworker place (as he is eligible) which I did apply for, but have since managed it talk him out of it as our secondary school tends to have a very low uptake (first lockdown they had 3 children out of 700+ and one day a week with just 1 child!) so it would involve them arranging transport just for him and potentially staff cover for just him too. I didn't feel fair asking for that when we don't actually need it because DH WFH and the other two will be at home anyway.

Also, when I explained he wont get lessons, just supervision to do the same work the others are doing online, it seemed less attractive. He'd still rather go than stay home, but he understands why he should not.

Other 2 would happily never leave the house again, or get out of bed before midday, or get any exercise!

*@crazycrofter
*
I didn't explain too well. Whilst they are on the screen they are fine/happy/content. But remove that screen and they are sullen, withdrawn, rude etc.

Eldest just wants to sit next to her friend in class, youngest just wants to play her sport.

@herethereandeverywhere

For all the parents of 'fine' kids:- don't they miss real life contact with friends/peers?

Is there any advice for how to achieve this? Mine are distraught (despite having each other). They are happy to game a bit or chat a bit but screens send them on such a downer.

I think some of it is personality, I have one where I always had to nag them to contact friends over summer - honestly if they ghosted someone I wouldn't know the difference but slotted back in every September thank goodness. They are older now so presumably occasionally deigns to answer on WhatsApp.

But with the more sociable children I have really focused on a) more engaging hobbies at home (cooking, craft for example) where you achieve something. Also they meet friends online to do something specific - so play with a toy they both have, or play old school games, as just chatting was a bit unsatisfactory, I think it just felt a bit odd to them.

My 11 yo hates online learning and would rather be in school.
My 7yo loves home schooling. However she is severely dyslexic, and is also being screened for dyspraxia and has a query over her also being dyscalculic. She finds school an uphill struggle - she is bright but can’t make sense of anything on paper. Give her a reading comprehension and leave her to do it and she scores nothing. Read it out to her, and then ask her the questions, and she scores 100%. She understands but she can’t read and she gets horribly frustrated. Being at home, with me to offer her full and total support, suits her. We’ve covered a lot of ground that she didn’t understand in the classroom.

@PriceEmUp

Unpopular opinion but I think a good chunk of the ‘my child really misses school they shouldn’t close they MUST attend’ are because the parents just don’t want to home educate for this period, or that they dread the children being home in general.

I’m sure a good amount of children are absolutely thrilled not to be going to school.

You don’t see kids crying over the summer holidays do you?

I do think there are a small amount that do need it though. Those with not the best home lives perhaps? Sad thought though.

Absolute patronising bollocks of the highest order. My DC are at secondary. I absolutely love their company, but they want to be at school with their mates and all the buzz, the gossip, the silliness, that you can't recreate online. Theyve been absolutely golden through first lockdown and self isolating periods and will put up with this again but are entitled to be bored silly of going for walks with their mum. I want what makes them happiest. For them, not for me.

DD is missing her friends and wishes she was at school. However she thrived during the first lockdown and had her best report ever, due to the fact that she had more time to get the work done, and was also able to do everything on the computer which improved her presentation.

She sat there every day and did the lessons set. However I know of people who let their kids stay in bed til lunchtime, saying that they weren't teachers and it wasn't up to them to make the kids do the work. They will be exactly the same this time.

DS1 (year 10) - prefers online school but it lets him get away with working less hard than usual (this is a worry for his GCSEs next year)
DD (year 8) - likes online school and normal school equally
DS2 (year 6) - hates online school and really misses his friends

So a mixed bag here!

My Dd14 suffers anxiety primarily caused by the pressures of being a teenager in high school. During the last lockdown she was the happiest she's been for a long time which also meant our relationship vastly improved. She's happy not to be going back after the holidays. I guess it very much depends on the child

Mine are delighted. They far prefer distance learning to real school. We are very very fortunate though - neither struggle academically, both just get on with the work, and dh and I are both teachers, so we are here to help if neeeded.

Although I realise how lucky we are, it does make me a bit sad that they are so keen not to be in school.

@herethereandeverywhere

For all the parents of 'fine' kids:- don't they miss real life contact with friends/peers?

Is there any advice for how to achieve this? Mine are distraught (despite having each other). They are happy to game a bit or chat a bit but screens send them on such a downer.

My dc is working on shared project online with his friends. So they are not physically together, but still doing something together with friends.

My kids are loving it, I have three boys close in age and honestly they are a dream. Today however there is no school work... tomorrow they will not be so happy, they struggle with school environment at home, they just want to have fun.

I would much rather they were at school even though I love having them here and I would be very lonely locked down with them at school... my 3 year old thrives on them being here too.