How to balance kids & work with 2 working parents if we end up in full lockdown

[Mangomumma]

If schools & nurseries close we'll have a 4 & 1 year old at home. Neither DH or I are key workers but both employers will need us to work (flexibly & at home) I was on maternity leave during lockdown 1.0 so how did other working couples with kids split the kids & work?

@mynameiscalypso

Following for advice - only one here thankfully but a very active 16 month old. I was also in maternity leave last time round but am supposed to start back next week. My fear is that DH will just assume it will be like the last lockdown when he was relatively unaffected (other than being at home rather than the office) rather than actually seeing that we have to split things 50:50. I've already tried to pin him down as to when he has standing calls/meetings in his diary which we need to work around but he's being spectacularly unhelpful. DS has a pretty short attention span and currently actively seeks out the things he knows he's not allowed to touch/climb on. Can you get some kind of toddler crate?? Only joking...

Would a playpen work? Would your son play next to you in his playpen for any decent amount of time? Your husband will have to help x

I know lockdown needs to happen but I feel sick at the thought. I have a 2 and 5 year old. Last time DH and I split the day in half but I ended up doing all afternoon and evening as childcare so it was unbalanced. The whole thing almost broke me last time I and it's stressing me as I think things will be harder this time due to it being winter and not as easy to just pop into the garden, plus I have a new job which is rather more demanding. Additionally my 2yo has strong attachment issues to me so if she knows I'm around she will scream for me regularly. I think this time we'll split the day into 2-3hour chunks starting at 8 and finishing around 10, and working for a bit at weekends. Disney+ and cocomelon will once again be my best friend. It's accepting that I will have no me time and no quality time with DH and very minimal time altogether as a family.

I have a 1 and 4 year old too. I was also on Mat Leave during the first lockdown, but I had to do 2 weeks of homeschooling due to a Covid outbreak at school.

The 1 year old was the one who stopped me getting my shit together with homeschooling. DH and I share a home office upstairs. We have to peek into each other's diary's before scheduling/accepting meetings (so that the other can fend off the kids), and we just take it in turns to do whatever needs doing (I was scared that DH would leave me to the bulk of the childcare since he's used to me being here while he works, but it's not been that way at all).

DS2 is too clingy, so I'm trying to be realistic with remote learning. My plan from this time involves:

• both DH and I having access to Tapestry (last term it was just me). We will each pick one thing to do with DS from the timetable given. DS has a daily zoom lesson at 11am, so whoever is free will take charge of that.

-Worksheets/handwriting practice/phonics revision will be done in our office because he enjoys the idea of working alongside us, so is more focused. We always have crafts and shuff out for him on our desks, so he just gets on with things when he's ready. A lot of play doh sessions especially. They are high up so DS2 cannot reach them

• at least two educational youtube videos (that will make me feel a tad better about screentime ). He has an ipad, and I'm still playing around with which apps are helpful vs unhelpful.
• a walk a day(we actually have to do this as it forms part of a task for an English session)
• we always read at night, but now we will have one early reader/cvc type book for him to attempt. We'll read books to him as usual too

The rest of the day will be play play play. Having DS1at home distracts DS2 more than when he's at school, so I'm low key grateful he's not at school (DH is ECV so we're more than happy to have him home for that reason).

Good luck!

@worriedandannoyed I have considered a playpen but think I'd just end up with lots of things thrown at me to get my attention! We'll figure it out somehow, thank you for the suggestion though!

I'm a SAHM but in your situation tbh I'd do the bare minimum or the easiest task on the weekdays and leave the rest for the weekend.

@JayDot500 and @Mangomumma - I also have an almost 1 and 4 year old and was on mat leave for lockdown 1. Back to work in 2 weeks and dreading it tbh. I think it is going to be pretty brutal. If childcare is allowed and nursery fees are reduced (they were first time) we are considering a nanny for a couple of days a week...

[quote emeraldcity2000]**@JayDot500* and @Mangomumma* - I also have an almost 1 and 4 year old and was on mat leave for lockdown 1. Back to work in 2 weeks and dreading it tbh. I think it is going to be pretty brutal. If childcare is allowed and nursery fees are reduced (they were first time) we are considering a nanny for a couple of days a week...[/quote]

Those last two weeks of school closures for DS were an eye opener for me. I sort of gave up the last few days before the holidays. There were times when I got frustrated and walked away from my desk because DS2 would not stop clinging to me. DH was really supportive. He peeled DS2 off me, or took control of the situation. I am very grateful for him. There will be better times ahead of us all, but yeah, it's shit wherever you look