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Original poster

Bubbles - need to come with more warning

71 replies

beckypv · 02/01/2021 10:05

I think the government needs to place more warnings on the fact that even though you can be in a bubble, it doesn’t make it any more safe. Just like people were saying before Xmas that ‘the virus doesn’t stop for Xmas’, I think it should be highlighted that it also doesn’t stop for bubbles. Reading that the spread is greater now, I’m trying to think where this is happening and I’m imagining bubble transmission is quite a big thing. I totally understand that bubbles are necessary for mental and physical support for some people for some of the time, but the under 1 rule and the child care rule (although technically shouldn’t), just give a free pass to mixing inside which isn’t always necessary. I would just like it highlighted more that just because you can be in a bubble, it doesn’t mean you should. So often I hear the phrase “it’s ok we’re in a bubble with them”. Yes they’re right, in terms of the rules..... but in terms of risk, it’s not ok, and with schools going back, perhaps some of these bubbles need to be reined in a bit. A happy family of 5 with an under 1 staying over at the grandparents doesn’t seem necessary mixing at the moment given the current situation.

OP posts:
BunsyGirl · 02/01/2021 10:10

It depends on the individual circumstances though. We are my dad’s support bubble as he lives alone. We move freely between each other’s houses but there is no additional risk as we don’t go anywhere else other than for outdoor walks.

Yikes2021 · 02/01/2021 10:11

I couldn’t agree more.

It’s caused a massive argument in my family because my mum decided to bubble with my brother for no apparent reason.... it has since morphed into socialising together and overnight stays and looking after the kids so my brother gets a break. But it’s ok because they “barely go anywhere, only the shop”

Yes there is an element of jealousy... I wish I had support but mainly, as do my other siblings. But mainly they are taking the piss with the bubble rules.

Anyway, nobody is talking now in my family. It’s shit

scottish83 · 02/01/2021 10:13

Bubbles are a small recognition that there are sections of the population who are unable to live in complete isolation for the best part of the year.

It's simply a definition and definitions don't necessarily correlate to safety. Just as when large swathes of England moved from Tier 2 to Tier 4 overnight, the risk was exactly the same as the previous day it's just a different tier was applied.

Yikes2021 · 02/01/2021 10:14

I think people like my bro are abusing the bubble system. He is only thinking about himself and not my vulnerable parents.

Deliaskis · 02/01/2021 10:15

@BunsyGirl

It depends on the individual circumstances though. We are my dad’s support bubble as he lives alone. We move freely between each other’s houses but there is no additional risk as we don’t go anywhere else other than for outdoor walks.
I was about to say this. Where all parties in the bubble are genuinely not mixing at all elsewhere, then it is almost as safe as a family who are not mixing at all. I only say almost as chances are in many bubble setups there will be separate shopping and medical type trips out. But yes, like a family, in a bubble you take on the risk of every member of the bubble.

I do think some use the term to define 'we're properly in a closed bubble and not mixing at all elsewhere' whereas others use it to mean 'we're not breaking the law doing this', and you're right, the perception and reality of risk for each of those scenarios can be very different.

IceCreamAndCandyfloss · 02/01/2021 10:15

I’m not sure it needs more warnings, I think people are just doing what they want. Given the news and info, surely no one can actually believe using the word bubble gives protection against the virus.

I’ve read and heard plenty say they are continuing with playdates sleepovers, teens dating as they are in a school bubble anyway. Adults seeing friends as they are in work so a few more people isn’t no big deal etc.

BeyondMyWits · 02/01/2021 10:24

Sometimes there's no bloody choice and you have to take the risk anyhow even if you don't want to.

Mil has Alzheimers. She is alone, confused and lonely. She is bubbled with us. She has carers every day. She spends a day a week with us. I work, so do the 2m distance, wearing a mask in my own home thing, but still feel she is taking on the risk of my job, and we are taking on the risk of her carers. The alternative is to leave a lonely, confused old lady staring at the walls all week.

user89 · 02/01/2021 10:30

They need more education on it too - my MIL seems to believe that whoever she fancies seeing that day is fine 'because they're her bubble' Hmm

Original poster
beckypv · 02/01/2021 10:36

Beyondmywits, your situation is exactly what the bubbles are for and why I think they are a very important option. Not everyone however is using them to provide care/support, they are using them as a way to ‘get around’ the restrictions and feel morally ok with it. Bubbles so that one family can visit another family for tea and cake each week are not what they were designed for, and introduce unnecessary mixing. Morals are not always tied to rules and laws, they go above and beyond them.

OP posts:
FalseAlarm1 · 02/01/2021 10:38

Completely agree. People seem to think that being in a support bubble means you can’t catch covid. I’m in a support bubble with my mum but I’m not seeing her indoors as we both agree it’s too risky as we’re still going out to work.

I know so many people happily mixing with others in their support bubble - and don’t get me started on how many non eligible support bubbles there are

SimonJT · 02/01/2021 10:40

We have a support bubble as without it I would lose my job.

umpteennamechanges · 02/01/2021 10:41

I agree.

I spoke with a friend yesterday who's DM had been in a support bubble with them (her, her partner and DC).

Given the high case rate in their area though they discussed and agreed it was best not to be in a bubble once DC goes back to school on Monday as the risk would be too high for her DM.

Ducksurprise · 02/01/2021 10:44

I agree (and I still agree with bubbles lots of people need support) but the term bubble implies safe and ime is leading people to be falsely reassured, especially when people inside that bubble are not concerned with being careful but still happy to see granny etc as they are in the bubble and therefore safe.

JanuaryChill · 02/01/2021 10:49

Also, any family with school age children is not "hardly going anywhere"! At least when schools are open....

IceCreamAndCandyfloss · 02/01/2021 10:50

@JanuaryChill

Also, any family with school age children is not "hardly going anywhere"! At least when schools are open....
I’ve heard that one lots of times Hmm

Along with only going shopping which transpires to be daily to multiple venues.

Sandsnake · 02/01/2021 10:51

Yep, as well as a reminder of the requirement that if someone in your bubble becomes infected then you will have to self isolate too (providing that you’ve seen them recently). It’s not zero risk. Perfectly illustrated by the fact that we’ve nominally created a support bubble with my parents as we have an under one. However, we’ve not actually used it yet as we’re aware that it does nothing to halt transmission and we’re in a tier 4 area in the south east with a school age child. Last night I heard that my mum tested positive after starting some mild non-typical symptoms on Christmas Day. If we’d seen them over Christmas (which was very, very tempting) then we may well have got it, including my CV husband.

However, I’m aware that I am lucky to not have needed to use the bubble and others may not be in that situation.

tappitytaptap · 02/01/2021 10:52

@SimonJT

We have a support bubble as without it I would lose my job.
This.
Sitt · 02/01/2021 10:53

Do you have a child under 1 OP?

tappitytaptap · 02/01/2021 10:53

@JanuaryChill

Also, any family with school age children is not "hardly going anywhere"! At least when schools are open....
What do you suggest then @JanuaryChill? Parents have to work to pay their bills and can’t do so without childcare. Working from home doesn’t mean you are not doing any work by the way, with two under 5s, is that is about to be a suggestion.
Panickingpavlova · 02/01/2021 10:53

Op the lack of clear communication has driven me mad throughout the virus.

In school pupils think they are safe within their bubble, so it's OK to sing (who can blame them!!) get close, share things..

Mablefly · 02/01/2021 10:56

We've had this exact conversation. We are in a bubble with my mum who lives alone and struggled hugely before support bubbles were allowed. Technically we can see her whenever we like but with numbers rising locally we have reverted back to zoom calls and regularly meeting outdoors for walks instead. We're keeping a close eye on risk levels (especially with a teen involved) and are thinking about actual risks rather than mixing freely just because we are 'allowed to'. With a vaccine on the horizon none of us want to take any unnecessary risks. It's not an easy decision because mental health is also a consideration but we're trying to find creative ways to support each other.

MillieEpple · 02/01/2021 10:59

We are my mums support bubble but we try to meet outdoors as much as possible. I hate it. I work outside the home and have 2 kids in school and feel like her only mental health and physical support comes from a germ ridden person. She is has health problems that means she needs phyisical support eg if she gets a food delivery she cant get it from the doorstep into cupboard. And she has severe depression for years.
I know this thread is well meaning as some people are just meeting cos they can and I they increase the risk for me providing care. But it makes me feel even worse!

PatchworkElmer · 02/01/2021 11:00

I agree. My parents and I decided to end our childcare bubble over Christmas (we’re ‘lucky’ as they only have DC once a fortnight or so, and DH and I can juggle work to cover it). I just couldn’t justify them having DC in a tier 4 area when we could cope alone (admittedly it will be a struggle).

My friend and her DH are in a ‘support bubble’ with relatives as they have an 11 month old. She’s back at work though and baby is in childcare. Said relatives were socialising widely over Christmas period, so who knows how many ‘contacts’ my friend has via them. Her older DC will be in a classroom with mine next week Hmm I’m not thrilled to be honest!

Unsure33 · 02/01/2021 11:03

Do people think because they are in a bubble they are safe ?

Perhaps , but a family member of mine had formed a bubble with his parents because they needed help ( mother had dementia) and were struggling . So a care bubble in effect.

Unfortunately he picked the virus up somewhere and passed it on to them . His father died on Monday , his mother is still in hospital and he is very ill himself .

I don’t blame him for what he did because they desperately needed help but what an awful thing to happen.

Bubbleornottobubble · 02/01/2021 11:03

I understand what you are saying OP. But I don't really know what to do myself from a bubble point of view.

I can form an under 1 bubble as have a newborn (and a preschool age child) and family who'd love to help but they aren't that local and I do worry about what if we took virus to them. Sleep has been very very hard as both wake and I'm lucky to get two or three hours total a night, though DH does help when he can but has long hours as a key worker (not NHS).

I've been one of the get on with it in your puddle suits type and feel like we've been doing well but I've completely crashed, I know it sounds utterly ridiculous but I feel like I just cannot do anymore whatever I tell myself about snapping out of it. Just had shower and hiding in toilet, can hear baby grumbling with DH and preschooler is wreaking havoc and feel guilty but literally feel like I can't move, it sounds completely stupid I know.

So I would love to just give in and call family and ask them to take kids so I can just sleep, or find headspace to try and get shopping in etc or better still visit them and just relax but I know neighbours will judge as nobody understand the under 1s thing, and if I go to them I think newborn will scream in car seat whole way and I'm not sure if I'm safe to drive. Also from here most people don't seem to approve of under 1s bubble anyway

But if I can write this message surely I can get up and get on with things? Then again I once wrote a coherent mumsnet post at 10cm dilated! I've got both DC clean, fed and dressed, it's just the idea of playing and puddle jumping that has exhausted me! I know it's ridiculous, I'm not complaining, I can't describe it it's just like I've run out of batteries altogether. Don't want to take antidepressants as breastfeeding

So not sure if I should "bubble up" or not but I'm close to just sending out an SOS message

Hopefully I'll be back here later and say I got my act together and we did something useful today and I feel better. Going to try some healthy eating and exercise

Sorry for this long self absorbed message. Like I say not a complaint, we're very lucky, I just physically feel like I've hit a wall I've never found before

DH just said the baby is smiling and I think that's enough to get me off this loo seat and on with my day 😊