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Covid

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Original poster

Christmas Covid

54 replies

Stellaris22 · 29/12/2020 14:20

How many people know families that are now testing positive after 'making their own risk assessment' and spending Christmas together?

My family (parents, sisters, niece, grandmother) spent Christmas together. Now my 96 year old grandmother is in hospital with Covid with various other health issues. Rest of family are testing positive now.

Fuming. I doubt my grandmother will ever leave hospital and they've effectively killed her.

Don't think you are capable of making your own risk assessments, you aren't.

OP posts:

bathsh3ba · 29/12/2020 14:32

I'm sorry to hear about your grandmother.

I'm currently awaiting a test result and given the onset of symptoms, probably picked it up on 23rd or 24th December. A timeline of Christmas Day infection to hospital would be unusually quick so, while I understand you are angry, I am not sure you can say that Christmas was the cause of this. She could have picked it up before and even passed it on to other family members herself.

What did your grandmother want to do? Surely it should have been her choice.

Original poster

Stellaris22 · 29/12/2020 14:38

My grandmother is 96, has COPD, lung cancer and heart issues.

There is a point where you need to be responsible and say no, even if family member insists. They need to shield and isolate. I will never forgive them for doing this.

They have spent EVERY Christmas together, it was unnecessary.

OP posts:

TheGreatWave · 29/12/2020 15:03

I hope your Grandmother is soon on the mend, that does seems a bit quick for a Christmas Day chain though.

Original poster

Stellaris22 · 29/12/2020 15:08

So she would have had it pre Christmas and passed it on to the rest of my family at Christmas. My mother has tested positive and isn't in the best health either.

I'm very glad I stuck to my instincts and kept my husband and daughter safe by not visiting, but it's all so predictable, avoidable and heartbreaking.

OP posts:

TheAlphaandtheOmega · 29/12/2020 15:09

Don't think you are capable of making your own risk assessments, you aren't.

Don't make generated statements because of what your family did.

TheAlphaandtheOmega · 29/12/2020 15:10

generalised not generated

Original poster

Stellaris22 · 29/12/2020 15:12

But it's proving that you can't make your own risk assessments.

People think they know what's best but it's just not possible. Look at record cases being recorded.

We won't be alone in this case. It's so easily avoided. Thanks for the kindness though!!

OP posts:

Indecisive12 · 29/12/2020 15:13

I think we will just be starting to see the demand for tests rising from Christmas transmission with cases over the next week or two rising.
I’m sorry to hear about your Grandma.

Calmandmeasured1 · 29/12/2020 15:14

Don't think you are capable of making your own risk assessments, you aren't.
No-one is capable of making their own assessment of risk because it does affect others. They have no right to assess when it affects others.

Jrobhatch29 · 29/12/2020 15:15

Really sorry to hear this OP. It does sound like she may have already had it before xmas day though. 4 days is not very long to incubate it, develop symptoms then end up ill enough for hospital

MrsTerryPratchett · 29/12/2020 15:15

But it's proving that you can't make your own risk assessments.

My risk assessment has been not to do some things that are legally allowed because they are riskier than I'd like. Some people do assess risk carefully.

Helps that my degree included learning about how terrible humans are at assessing risks.

year5teacher · 29/12/2020 15:18

I’m sorry to hear this. However, it does seem extremely quick for your family, presumably none of whom had symptoms at the time, to have passed it onto your grandma for her to then get symptoms so bad she is in hospital. They haven’t “killed” her. You need to let go of that.

sleepwouldbenice · 29/12/2020 15:19

@Jrobhatch29

Really sorry to hear this OP. It does sound like she may have already had it before xmas day though. 4 days is not very long to incubate it, develop symptoms then end up ill enough for hospital

It is if you very vulnerable

Sorry OP this is terrible for you

Let's face it at least half of cases people have a good idea where they got it from and their risk assessment failed

Happychristmashohoho · 29/12/2020 15:24

Really sorry to hear about this. I can completely understand how you feel.

I’m sure there’ll be quite a few in this position unfortunately.

To others questioning the timeline, it maybe she was hospitalised for other reasons and was tested as per hospital admissions procedure.

I have heard of over 90’s being positive and asymptomatic.

Allispretty · 29/12/2020 15:28

I'm sorry to hear about your gran but she did likely have it prior to Xmas day particularly if it's now that bad she's in hospital. It usually takes 1/2 weeks before it severely effects the respiratory system hence needing hospitalisation

BrokenBaskets · 29/12/2020 15:29

This is going to sound harsh but given your very elderly grandmother is unwell anyway and this was likely to be her last Christmas anyway perhaps a faster death is kinder in the long run?

I say this as someone whose parents died of cancer and the last weeks were nasty.

Focus on the fact she had a good long life instead.

Original poster

Stellaris22 · 29/12/2020 15:31

She was taken to hospital for a fall (should have mentioned this, sorry) and tested on admission as per procedure.

OP posts:

trulydelicious · 29/12/2020 17:07

@bathsh3ba

What did your grandmother want to do

I know many will not agree.

But I think it's unfair and inappropriate to ask a 96 year old to make this very difficult decision. They should be protected.

I'm sorry your grandmother is in hospital @Stellaris22

Original poster

Stellaris22 · 29/12/2020 17:16

Personally I didn't want them to spend Christmas with her, which sounds horrible.

But I haven't seen her since last year and was holding on to being able to see her next year if it's ever safer. I live 300 miles away.

I don't think they should have risked meeting up considering her health and age and advised against it. I'm so distraught I may never get to see her again.

Her choice or not, protecting her should have been the main priority. Especially as she was in hospital for COPD related reasons just days before.

OP posts:

Indecisive12 · 29/12/2020 17:55

Is it not more likely she caught it in hospital when she went for her COPD?

londongirl12 · 29/12/2020 18:09

My 83 year old nan in a home has tested positive. Must have caught it from the home. She has had a hip replacement recently, has diabetes and heart failure. However she has no Covid symptoms at all!!

Try to think positive OP, just because she has tested positive, doesn't guarantee she'll die.

10storeylovesong · 29/12/2020 18:15

So would you rather your gran have spent her potentially last Christmas alone? I'm not being snarky. Genuinely curious. My fil died in June. He'd been ill for years with copd and every Christmas we wondered whether it would have been his last. He was shielding when this started so we didn't go to see him, despite him begging us to several times. He died of a bowel obstruction, which could have been treated had it been caught early enough but the GP wouldnt come out to see him. He begged us not to take him to hosptial as he would never come out, and he was right. My DH has been struggling mentally with the fact that his dad effectively spent his last 4 months alone, and the only time we got to see him was taking him to hospital. He died alone in hospital. Looking back, we would definitely have "made our own risk assessments" and visited him as per his wishes.

Original poster

Stellaris22 · 29/12/2020 18:22

She wouldn't have been alone, they could have done a socially distanced visit, not crowd lots of people into one house.

OP posts:

TheGreatWave · 29/12/2020 18:34

@Stellaris22

Personally I didn't want them to spend Christmas with her, which sounds horrible.

But I haven't seen her since last year and was holding on to being able to see her next year if it's ever safer. I live 300 miles away.

I don't think they should have risked meeting up considering her health and age and advised against it. I'm so distraught I may never get to see her again.

Her choice or not, protecting her should have been the main priority. Especially as she was in hospital for COPD related reasons just days before.

My MIL has just spent what is potentially her last Christmas in hospital, when someone gets to the age of your Grandma (my MIL isn't much younger) you don't have the luxury of banking on next year. When she is out go and see her, but stop blaming the family as it is more than likely she had it before they visited.

Madwife123 · 29/12/2020 18:41

This might sound harsh but if I was 96, with various health conditions and as a result was unlikely to make next Christmas I would rather spend Christmas with the family that I spend every Christmas with and die earlier than spend it alone to get a couple more months. This is what making your own risk assessment involves. Not just the chance of catching it but if the risk of death is “worth it” for that person.

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