Christmas Covid

[Stellaris22]

How many people know families that are now testing positive after 'making their own risk assessment' and spending Christmas together?

My family (parents, sisters, niece, grandmother) spent Christmas together. Now my 96 year old grandmother is in hospital with Covid with various other health issues. Rest of family are testing positive now.

Fuming. I doubt my grandmother will ever leave hospital and they've effectively killed her.

Don't think you are capable of making your own risk assessments, you aren't.

GreatWave would you feel the same if a loved family member had been put at risk by others?

I'll forgive them but I think I am allowed to be angry when I've been keeping safe.

You can feel angry if you want, no one can stop you, but it's a waste of energy and will do YOU more harm than good.

Hope your grandmother recovers if that is what she would like at 96.

My mum had COPD and lung cancer. She only had one Christmas with lung cancer. On her last hospital admission (i.e. the one where she died), she was told she was lucky to have lived that long (12 months after her cancer diagnosis). She absolutely would not have wanted to spend her last Christmas without her family around her. Her COPD was so bad that catching a common cold could have killed her at any time. That was even before she developed lung cancer. Once she was diagnosed with that, she was fucked. All she could do was make the best of the time she had left.

"But I think it's unfair and inappropriate to ask a 96 year old to make this very difficult decision. They should be protected."

@trulydelicious - why? If a 96 year old is compos mentis they have every right to make their own difficult decisions. They've had many years of life experience to assist them in their deliberations, including living through a world war.

I think this thread shows why it's all so difficult.
Sorry op. Hope she does recover.

But they, based on timelines with the previous hospital admission, most likely didn't give her covid, and she already had it.

Keeping someone "safe" from covid isn't the be all and end all, and presumably in the last 9 months she has had some form of contact with other people, so has always been some element of risk.

If they actually spent only 25th together & live in lower tier areas -- then this was allowed. They were following rules as they existed not making up own rules. I can't tell from OP's narrative what happened.

@Stellaris22 sorry to hear this .. however it's too early to have contracted it from Christmas Day.

Why are you blaming other people anyway? Presumably your grandmother goes to shops ? Prob from there.

Sorry OP but presuming your grandmother had the capacity to make a decision about Christmas, there is no issue here and certainly nobody to blame.

I'm so sorry to hear that your grandma is ill. Of course, you are angry as it is unfair that she has caught Covid. Covid is shit.

Unfortunately from what you have said, you are being unfair to accuse your family of giving it to her, especially as she had been in the hospital a few days before. If she had spent that last few weeks shielding, then I'd say your anger towards your family is justified. They were at equal risk by seeing her. The truth is you may never found out where she caught it but you can be assured that if she does pass on she would have at least spent some time with her family. You also need to respect other people's decisions to see each other regardless of what your opinion is. They're grown adults. Your family need love and support right now, not judgement.

I am a contact advisor and I've spoken to loads of people today who broke the rules over Christmas who had contact with a positive case and now need to isolate

Yep someone we know tested positive 2 days after Christmas so now his guests are waiting to see if they come down with it! Have to stop myself saying I told you so!
So sorry about your situation op

I'm sorry you're hurting but many people in your grandmother's position would (and have) chosen to take the same risk.

Presuming she wasn't pressured into seeing the rest of your family, at 96 and with the health conditions listed I think your grandmother made the right choice to enjoy the time she has left.

I am so so sorry your Gran is ill OP

As others have said, it is incredibly unlikely she picked it up on Christmas Day. Much more likely that she caught it during her last hospital admission (and potentially spread it to the rest of the family at Christmas!)

If she does pass away in hospital, take comfort from the fact that a very elderly lady has just spent a lovely Christmas with her family.

You should also take hope from the fact that the covid was picked up as part of her admissions tests and not because she was ill with covid symptoms. I can’t remember the exact number, but a lot of very elderly people have very mild symptoms or none at all. Don’t give up hope yet x

Aren’t most people missing the point?

I understand that OP is angry and upset. OPs Grandma is unwell in hospital and thats awful.

Basically the whole family now have COVID. The point is that they shouldn’t have got together at Xmas and spread it about between them. It doesn’t matter who gave it to whom but that by their own actions they’ve added several more positive tests to the already horrendous numbers. They could have spread it around a few other people on their travels, along with anyone of them becoming the covid hospital stats. We need to stop transmitting this bloody virus

I'm not missing the point. I just don't agree with it. I sympathise with the op, and really really hope that her gran isn't poorly with it and comes home soon. But I disagree that her gran can't make her own choices about how she spends her potentially last Christmas (within guidelines obviously).

@Stellaris22

How many people know families that are now testing positive after 'making their own risk assessment' and spending Christmas together?

My family (parents, sisters, niece, grandmother) spent Christmas together. Now my 96 year old grandmother is in hospital with Covid with various other health issues. Rest of family are testing positive now.

Fuming. I doubt my grandmother will ever leave hospital and they've effectively killed her.

Don't think you are capable of making your own risk assessments, you aren't.

Sadly this was inevitable if people hadn't isolated for 14 days beforehand.

Sorry to hear about your grandmother, but I assume she agreed to the Christmas arrangements and made her own assessment too?

It's also a very quick for her to need hospitalisation 4 days after infection. Are you certain she couldn't have already been infectious beforehand and she's actually infected the others?

Im sorry to hear your gran is covid positive but maybe if she could risk assess with the benefit of hindsight, she wouldn't actually have changed anything. Shes 96 years old and frail by the sounds of things, shes had a fall and that is really serious actually.

She had a lovely Christmas with her family around her.

Hooefully she will make a full recovery

Dont be angry with your family, anger is a toxic emotion to turn against family. Be angry with this shit show of a government who spectacularly dropped the ball.

Personally, if I was 96 with COPD, lung cancer and heart issues, I'd probably have taken the decision to risk a highly possible last Christmas with my family.

I'm so sorry about your gran .

I completely agree that too many people made a choice with their risk assessment as to seeing family and now as predicted we are seeing the huge rises in cases.

And as for those saying that OP gran already had Covid do you not think the reason she already very poorly in hospital is because she already have very serious health conditions which had made her symptoms much worse more quickly.

My friend didn't break any rules but did have family over. I saw a happy Christmas snap on Facebook and I thought it wasn't the wisest of moves. One positive case and 7 others isolating as a result. One of whom is CEV.

There's no denying that gathering together with a frail member of the household in the middle of a pandemic in the country with the most infectious variant strain was batshit crazy.

Also anyone who tries to rationalise it because they also gathered together with their family and are now trying to gaslight you need to wake up!

Pretty sure if I was 96 with lung cancer and COPD, I'd want to spend Christmas with my family too.

I do hope your Grandmother recovers but you really can't be angry that she got precious time with her family.

@lovelemoncurd I saw your post after I'd posted. I'm not "gas lighting" and I spent Christmas with my household only but I really feel a 96 year old with cancer absolutely has the right to decide to spend what is possibly her last Xmas with her family.